13 songs I've had on repeat!! I was tagged by @probablily 🤭
1. iloveitiloveitiloveit - Bella Kay
2. take me home - Betty
3. DtMF - Bad Bunny
4. Figured You Out - Devkota
5. Pardesiya - Sachin-Jigar, Sonu Nigam, Krishnakali Saha
6. California Rain - James Marriott
7. Chemistry - Gigi Perez
8. Little Bit Closer - Sam Fender
9. Spit Of You - Sam Fender
10. I'll Believe In Anything - Wolf Parade
11. Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye, Tammi Terrell
12. Be Your Drug - Circa Waves
13. Sleeping On Trains - James Marriott
Might be a few there from my Ilya playlist lmao
now tagging: @elxxtra @ulooklikeanegg @ily8z @dancininseptember @somnolentshepherd @intotheblindinglight + any other moots who wanna do it and say i tagged you <3
I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.
YAY! after almost six months of dwelling and not posting cause of writers block, the first post i make in ages is randomly accused of being made with ai because i use… dashes?
honestly this is bluntly disrespectful for many reasons—these so said ai experts going around now a days, accusing people of using some meta planet destroying robot, saying it’s easy to ‘clock it’, only for their stupid fucking reasons being the usage of secular writing resources that have been around since parchment and quill.
this is something that really bums me out into coming back—not only because these people have clearly never writing anything longer than a paragraph—but mostly cause, comparing my work to ai indirectly compares my work to something soulless. having something you put such thought into being mistaken for something elon musk’s emotional pocket pussy could’ve come up with reeeeeally takes a tool on one’s confidence in what their doing.
i’m in no way, shape or form fishing for compliments here. this just really, really sucks. this soul sucking monster is really gonna rip us from all joyful half pleasures before descending us into impeding doom.
you were curled up on the sofa when you heard a knock on the door. before you could even stand, your cat perked up, ears twitching and tail flicking.
“don’t you dare,” you warned softly.
but it was too late, your cat, mr.meow, launched itself off the couch and sprinted to the door like a tiny and fluffy policeman, guarding it as if an intruder was approaching.
but it wasn’t an intruder, it was your boyfriend of three years tsukishima kei, who always seemed to forget the set of keys of your apartment you gave him.
you opened the door, and there he was: your tall, tired and handsome boyfriend, giving you a faint smile that said that he missed you. his suitcase was still beside him, evidence he came straight from the airport after two weeks outside the country due to work conferences.
“missed you, my love.”
“missed you too.” he said, leaning down to kiss your lips, only to stop when your cat squeezed right between your legs, hissing at him.
“…seriously?” he muttered.
you laugh, pulling him down to plant a kiss on his lips. “he thinks you left me and he’s just protective.”
“i would never do that.” tsukki deadpanned. he eventually scooped you up anyway, his long arms wrapping around you and tugged you inside. “i was gone for two weeks. i deserve priority.”
“you aren’t jealous of mr. meow, are you?”
“no way.” tsukki scoffed, pushing his suitcase into your bedroom and pulling you inside. “now shut up and let me enjoy your company.”
in bed, mr. meow did not waste a moment and settled right on your chest, purring and blocking tsukishima from getting anywhere close..
tsukki leaned in to kiss you again, but mr.meow stretched out a paw to stop him.
"you've got to be kidding me."
mr. meow hissed at him and you laughed.
"there's no way he's hissing at me right now."
"well, you did leave me for two weeks so... he's not used to having anyone around but me..."
tsukishima stared at you, completely offended to his core, trying to move the cat that was clinging to you, as if you were stuck with velcro.
"okay, you little shit-"
"hey! don't call my precious baby that!"
"okaaaay, you little gremlin." you giggled, looking at both of them. "you need to get off my girlfriend right now. you have spent lots of time with her and now it is my turn. i'm here now, okay? i know i have left you for two weeks but you can't act like this."
tsukishima grabbed mr.meow from your chest and left it at the end of the bed, sending him a final glance.
"and don't you dare move."
mr. meow hissed again, trying to move towards you.
"oh, come on..." you said, "i can spend time with my two favourite boys... and maybe, just maybe, if you give him a snack and a toy to play... he'll leave us for a few minutes..."
"i need more than a few minutes..."
"then maybe you need to give him a few snacks."
you both turned to look at the cat once again and tsukishima sighed.
"okay, just TWO snacks." tsukishima said, quickly kissing your cheek. "... or maybe three."
"admit you love him."
"never."
you smile, glancing back to the frame where you have a picture of them cuddling together on the sofa.
warnings: timeskip! tsukishima (25 years old) x reader.
three years ago, you and tsukishima kei ended things in your cramped college apartment, filled with ideas of all the plans you would never get to live out together.
you had been friends since childhood, spending your best and worst moments together, your friendship made out of a lot of "what if...?" that made you question if you were just friends or in love.
you started dating at 17, just before you entered university together. he had made the first move, kissing you after a night of bowling with friends, laughing when he mentioned that your brother tadashi would freak out at the sight of you together.
he wanted sendai. stability. a job in the museum, familiar streets, a life that grew roots.
you had wanted the world.
not in a reckless way, just... in a hopeful one. you wanted to keep writing about fashion and places you hadn't seen yet, you wanted to collect stories, memories. you wanted movement and he wanted stillness.
neither of you were wrong. you were both finishing college, but your dreams were different.
that didn't make it hurt any less.
you left japan a month after graduation, having been offered the opportunity to write for a fashion magazine in new york city.
and life, moved on.
at twenty-five, tsukishima's life is predictable in a way that once comforted him.
work, home, gym, playing volleyball with his team. his glasses are newer now, his posture straighter. he has learned how to be alone, not because he wants to, but because it is easier to do so than to hope for something that already slipped through his fingers.
maybe he should have followed you to the u.s.
maybe it was meant to be that way.
until one evening, after work, when he meets yamaguchi for drinks and he tells him that you're here. that maybe, he should catch up and shoot you a text.
he doesn't know what to say.
on his way home, he takes the longer way home and passes a small bakery on his way home.
it's closed but he can see the workers cleaning inside behind the windows. he slows without meaning to and his mind catches up.
he hasn't been inside the bakery since university.
since you.
the memories hit him with clarity: you eating a croissant filled with white chocolate, laughter echoing through the walls when the filling spilled, and it fell onto your new skirt, his thumbs cleaning chocolate that had made its way towards your chin, the soft kisses you would give him when he bought you a pastry. your hand in his. sharing drinks and whispering gossip about other students.
this was your spot.
only yours.
something tightens in his chest as he grabs his phone and stares at it for a few minutes, opening his messages. he hasn't texted you in ages. you would only send each other birthday wishes but nothing more.
he types.
hey.
heard from your brother that you are back in japan.
is it true?
if it is... would u want to meet up?
bakery. our place. friday at 6?
he sends it before he can talk himself out of it but immediately regrets it.
you see the text while sitting on the floor of your tiny sendai apartment, suitcase half-unpacked beside you.
you have only been back for a week. you hadn't planeed on reaching out to anyone yet until your apartment was clean and you had all your life set up.
the timing feels cruel, mocking, like the universe was laughing softly at you for attempting to move on.
you hadn't been able to do so.
your thumb hovers over the screen and open the texts but you don't reply.
you want to reply, you do, but you're afraid of hearing that he's fine, that he's has moved on without you, that he maybe has found someone who wants the same things he does. you're scared that, if you see him, you will not be able to stop yourself from saying everything you have always wanted to say.
he waits for a response.
for one day.
two days.
and even friday. he stands outside the bakery, phone heavy in his pocket, heart heavier.
it is ridiculous to hope and he sighs. two more minutes.
you realise your mistake when you see the time.
5:55 p.m.
your breath catches and you scramble to your feet, put on your shoes and run.
you run outside the apartment, you run across stress, squeezing through people on one of the main streets under the gaze of people and elderly people shaking their heads.
you sprint through corners, and your shoes skid slightly as you turn left toward the bakery.
and there he is.
tsukishima stands near the door, hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders tensed. he looks older and somehow even taller, but it is your kei.
you gasp for breath and he turns, eyes wide at the sight of you.
"...you came," he says quietly.
"sorry, i..." you breathe. "i saw your text. i... i panicked."
he could melt into the floor at the sound of your voice. he has missed you so much. his jaw tightens. "i thought you... i thought you were in the u.s."
"i was. i am back in japan for... for a long time actually. maybe forever?"
his eyes widen.
"i... came back because i was tired of fashion shows and places that didn't feel like home," you continue. "and no matter where i went... this was always the place i thought of."
"i..."
"actually, that is a lie. i would always think of you." you don't realise you've started rambling until you're already in the middle of it. "i didn't come back just because i was tired," you say, tears spilling out of your eyes. "every city i went to, every café i wrote articles in, every train, plane i took... you were always there. not literally, obviously," you laugh weakly, wiping at your eyes. "but I compared everything to you. every sunset, every quiet place, every museum... i would always think of you, of you telling me about fossils, about trying new coffee and tea, of sharing a piece of cake together."
kei stares at you like he's afraid to blink while you keep going.
"i kept thinking that by leaving you here, not talking to you or something, i would outgrow it, that thinking about you was the ordinary things that happen during a break-up, that it was nostalgia about not being home, guilt of leaving you behind... something that was temporary. but it hasn't been. it was you. always you. i would publish something and wish you would read it. i'd-"
your breath hitches.
"i have never stopped thinking about you, tsukishima kei. never. i kept telling myself i chose my dream, but it felt like i left all my heart behind because that's what you are. you are my whole heart and-"
you don't get to finish. one second, your words are stumbling over each other and the next, kei is in front of you, closer that he has been in years, his hands cupping your face, shaking, as if he is terrified that youj are going to disappear right in front of him.
his eyes are bright with teats.
"kei...?"
and he kissed you.
it's a kiss full of years of bitten-back confessions, sleepless nights, unsent messages, all crashing into the same moment.
his lips are warm and insistent against yours, a little shaky at first as if he is relearning something his body has never forgotten. you feel how his breath stutters when you kiss him back, how his hands tighten around your waist ever so slightly, pulling you closer.
oh, you have missed him... you feel like the world around you is blurring, keeping you safe inside a bubble with him.
with your kei.
the boy you have always loved. the little boy who played princesses and princes with you when you were only five. the boy who acted brave when he fell but always sobbed when you placed a band-aid on his knee, the teenager who talked you out of getting a piercing and gave you your first kiss at seventeen. the boy who made you soup and gave you kisses when you were sick, even if that meant that he was also going to get sick. the love of your life.
inside that bubble, there is only the press of his mouth against yours.
your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, feeling his heartbeat underneath, grounding yourself in the reality that this is happening, that he is here, that you are here with him, and that you have, somehow, found your way back to this place and to each other.
when he finally breaks the kiss, he doesn't go far.
he rests his forehead against yours, breath mingling with yours, noses brushing softly as his thumb sweeps under your eye, catching a tear.
and he laughs.
"You talk too much, like always," he whispers, but his voice is gentle, fond, and overflowing with affection he no longer bothers hiding. "i was going to let you finish, but i've been waiting years to finally have you in my arms again."
"i'm not done, you know?" you laugh.
"good. neither am i."
then he kisses you again, this time slower. and it sinks in, warmly:
you left to see the world
only to return to the place that that only the two of you know.
kei softly closes the door behind him. all the lights are off in his house and he sighs deeply, taking off his shoes and jacket before making his way towards the living room. no. there is no one there to greet him but he smells his dinner, sitting on the dining table, mouth watering at the sight of chicken curry and vegetables waiting for him. although he is starving, he can’t help but walk upstairs in silence and as he reaches the top of the stairs, he notices that there is one soft light turned on and a halfway closed door that leads to his bedroom.
softly, he pushes the door open and his heart skips a beat at the sight of you and your son sleeping on your shared bed. the little boy hugs you tightly, some drool soaking your t-shirt. between you and him, lays a stuffed animal your son has had since he was born and kei sits down at the foot of the bed, looking at his whole world with hearts in his eyes. kei reaches softly for the boy, pushing his blond hair back, leaning down to kiss his forehead before moving to do the same with you, lips lingering just for a few seconds, a silent “thank you for your hard work today, thank you for taking care of him and for keeping our house filled with love”.
he hates working overtime, missing his baby boy’s bath time and story time, but he doesn’t mind coming home to them like this, stress from work completely vanished as he lays down next to you, hugging you for the rest of the night.
you hate scary movies tsukishima loves watching them with you. it all started pretty early in your relationship. the jumpscares, screams and blood scared you to death and you couldn’t help but cling into Tsukishima’s arm.
tsukishima doesn’t say it but he loves when you loop your arm around his, when you hide your face on his chest, eyes closed trying to avoid any possible scare and when you timidly ask him to spend the night because you’re scared.
“tch, just because it is late.”
he loves when you cuddle him and hug him during the night, and even though, the first time it happened, he woke up annoyed, now, he couldn’t wait to hear you ask him to check if the door is fully closed and if he can turn off the lights while you wait for him on your side on the bed, a cute pout on your face as you explain, for the millionth time, why you hate those movies so much.
“no one is coming to murder you during the night.”
“why did you say that? I wasn’t thinking about it until you mentioned it!”
tsukishima smiles softly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head as you continue explaining your silly (but valid) reasons.
he loves watching scary movies with you. he loves you.
the cinema lobby was alive with chatter and laughter but tsukishima akiteru barely noticed any of it as he talked with some of his friends, deciding on the snacks they were going to buy. as he waited for his turn, something, or rather someone, caught his attention.
a tall, blond figure, stood by the entrance of the theater entrance with a girl next to him. akiteru did a double take, eyes widening at the sight of his little brother.
“hold on… is that kei, tsukishima kei?” one of his closest friends squinted, and akiteru nodded slowly.
“what? no way,” another friend whispered, leaning forward for a better look. “and wait… is he with a girl?”
akiteru’s heart gave a strange little flip. He knew about you—kei had mentioned a “(Y/N)” here and there whenever he talked with Akiteru on the phone, mentioning projects and the fact that you were his classmate, but this was different. totally different and unexpected. you were closer to his brother than he'd imagine. kei had his hand gently resting on your back, his usual cool demeanor nowhere to be seen, a side to his brother he couldn't have imagined. akiteru watched as kei leaned down, brushing a stray strand of your hair back behind your ear with surpising gentleness, kei's gaze lingering on you, a soft pink hue adorning his cheeks as you gestured towards something.
“is he… smiling?” one friend asked, voice filled with disbelief.
another friend gasped, “wait, are those hearts in his eyes?”
akiteru’s friends were fully engrossed now, watching this unusual side of kei unfold before them. they had never seen the younger boy like that, always ignoring them whenever they came into their house. akiteru, meanwhile, was trying to process what he was seeing—his little brother, usually so guarded, looked happy. truly and undeniable happy.
and when things couldn't seem to get better, right there in the cinema lobby, shy and reserved kei tsukishima leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. it was short, sweet and simple, but the way the young couple looked at each other afterwards, made akiteru's heart squeeze.
on the other hand, akiteru's friends were losing it, forgetting the moving line to get snacks.
"oh my god!" one of them whispered (loudly), fumbling their phone to snap a quick picture of the sight in front of them. "this is history."
"look at him, little tuskishima's in love!" another teased, hiding his laughter as he patted akiteru's back. "who knew he could be this cute and loving? have you already met your sister-in-law?"
the cheers and giggle didn't go unnoticed by kei, who pulled back and glanced over to look at the loud group of people, instantly freezing when he spotted no other than his older brother and his friends. his eyes widened, face heating up as he realized he'd been caught red-handed, his "private" moment now the entertainment of the evening.
"kei!" akiteru called, grinning and giving him a thumbs-up, "looking great, bro!"
the group of older and annoying friends broke into applause, teasing cheers filling the lobby as kei's expression shifted from shock to deep annoyance, whereas the look on his girlfriend's face was nothing but pure embarrassment as she hid behind his back.
"seriously?" he muttered, shooting akiteru and his friends an annoyed glared, ears red. kei held (y/n)'s hand, walking quickly to the other side of the lobby to get into their room, avoiding the snack bar for the moment.
but even through his embarrassment, akiteru caught the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his brother's lips as he slipped an arm protectively around you and you laced one of your hands into his free one.
hi hi hi, this was supposed to be a part of my aita series but i didn't think it would fit there but well, i'm still posting it! hope you like it :D
warnings: fem!reader x tsukishima, yamaguchi and hinata, mentions of alcohol, vomiting and hospital environment.
It wasn’t the kind of night Tsukishima Kei had ever imagined himself having—let alone enjoying. He didn't want a bachelor party, always saying how annoying they were and that they were nothing but a waste of money but of course, he couldn't say no to some drinks with his friends to celebrate his upcoming wedding in less than two months, and while he wasn't one to indulge in alcohol much, the constant toasts and teasing had loosened him up more than he had intended.
What started as a quiet evening quickly turned into a loud celebration, with everyone in high spirits—especially Tsukishima’s childhood best friend, Yamaguchi, and the always energetic Hinata.
Tsukishima, never one for being the center of attention, had let his guard down. The buzz from the alcohol he had been drinking during the night was more than he had anticipated and even though he tried to say “no” to the various drinks he was getting from other people congratulating him on his wedding, he kept drinking. Before he could even think about it, he was laughing louder than usual, joining in the banter with friends and accepting going for a round of karaoke.
In his tipsy state, as they were leaving the bar, he miscalculated his steps and stumbled off the curb. Awkwardly, he hit the ground face-first, a sharp pain shooting through his nose.
"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi cried, rushing over, his words slurred but full of concern.
Tsukishima groaned, pressing a hand to his face. When he pulled it away, he saw blood dripping from his nose and sighed, already irritated with himself. "Oh fuck, (Y/N) is going to kill me.”
Hinata froze at the sight of the blood, face palinn instantly and he stumbled back. “Oh shit, holy shit, blood.”
Before Yamaguchi could react, Hinata’s face turned green and doubled over, gagging.
Looking at Tsukishima and then turning to look at the orange-haired man, Yamaguchi started laughing, taking his phone out of his pocket amid the chaos of it all, dialing your number at nearly two in the morning.
When you arrived at the emergency room, it was complete chaos. Your soon-to-be husband was seated in a hospital bed, an ice pack pressed against his swollen and bloody nose. Yamaguchi was pacing around the room, looking both drunk and emotional whereas Hinata was gagging uncontrollably in the corner.
“Hinata!” You called, grabbing a nearby trash can and rushing over to his side, perfectly in time for him to lean over and throw up. He heaved, face twisted in discomfort, saying how sorry he was.
You smiled, patting his back gently before making your way towards Tsukishima but before you could reach him, Yamaguchi walked over to you, wiping his eyes as he bursted into tears.
“Thank you,” Yamaguchi said. “Thank you for taking care of Tsukki. He’s so in love with you and he… seeing him so happy makes me wanna cry!”
Yamaguchi throws his arms around you, hugging you tightly and crying loudly.
You smile, hugging him back. “It’s alright, Tadashi,” you said, patting his arm. “I love him too.”
"I know, but—" Yamaguchi sniffled, wiping at his eyes again. "He’s my best friend, and now he’s getting married, and I’m just... so happy for you guys." He leaned into you, his head resting against your shoulder as he mumbled his thanks again.
Hinata groaned from the trash can. "I’m sorry, (Y/N). I really didn’t mean to—"
"Shh, you’re fine, Hinata," you said with a chuckle. "Just focus on breathing, okay?"
You shake your head at the situation and try your best to make your way towards Tsukishima. Yamaguchi leaves you for a second and walks over to Hinata, talking to him as if the other man wasn’t focusing on keeping the last pieces of food on his stomach.
You walked over to Tsukishima, who was watching the whole thing unfold with a slightly glazed look in his eyes, still holding the ice pack to his nose.
"You look like a mom," he said, his voice muffled and slightly nasally.
You rolled your eyes, laughing softly as you ran your hands through his blond hair, kissing his forehead. “Well, someone has to take care of you all. I didn’t think I’d be spending my night with a group of 20-something-year-old men acting like a babysitter. Where are your other friends?"
Tsukishima snorted, though it came out as more of a cough, given the state of his nose. "They went home, I don't think 5 drunk and grown ass men entering the hospital wouldn't be a good look." He lowered the ice pack for a moment, his golden eyes catching yours, showing you his accident. You hiss, holding his face on your hands, looking at him with those gorgeous eyes of yours he loved so much. Despite the alcohol in his system, and despite the embarrassment of the situation, there was something warm in the way he looked at you.
Tsukishima couldn’t help but feel incredibly lucky. His nose was throbbing, he was bleeding, and his best friends were sobbing and dry-heaving into a trash can—but you handled it all with such grace.
"Hey," Tsukishima called softly, his gaze softening as he looked at you. "I really... don’t deserve you.”
Your gaze softens and you smile. "Kei, stop. You’re going to make me cry too if you say romantic stuff.”
"I mean it," he muttered, his voice low. "I’m a mess, and you're here... taking care of all of us. And, I’m sorry about this. I knew we were having some pictures taken in a week.”
"Of course I am here," you replied. “I love you. Even when you fall on your face and you make us lose the money for the wedding pictures."
"How much was it?"
"Hm.... 150,000 yen." You answered, looking at him. "You'll need to pay me back with interests."
"I thought we had joint bank accounts, babe."
"That's right but you'll still need to pay me back for waking me up in the middle of the night. You'll find a way."
He huffed at that but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips. Even in his current state, he knew how lucky he was to have you. He reached out, taking your hand in his, and gave it a gentle squeeze.
You leaned down, careful not to hurt him, and kissed the top of his head several times, giggling together, feeling as if there in the room it was just you alone. "We’ll deal with the nose, Kei. Don’t worry about anything else, not even about the photos or the money. Just focus on getting better and getting that nose fixed before our official wedding or I’ll be really mad.”
He watched you for a moment longer, a mix of admiration and affection swirling in his still-hazy eyes. As chaotic as the night had been, he knew one thing for sure—he was the luckiest man in the world.
a series where tsukishima kei asks reddit users for their opinions on his problems.
warnings: english is not my first language so there may be some mistakes lol, you can read this as a stand alone or as a series, eventual smut????, fluff, angst, aged-up tsukki!
part 1 "AITA for pushing my best friend away?"
part 2 “AITA for asking my girlfriend to be quieter during a practice match?”
part 3 ""AITA for "stealing" photo booth pictures from my girlfriend?"
part 4 "AITA for telling my girlfriend I want to be with her for the rest of my life over the phone?"
part 5 "AITA for saying my 5-year anniverary is just another day, making my girlfriend mad?" “Hey Reddit, an update”
part 6 "AITA for telling my pregnant wife she should start wearing maternity clothes?"
bought a new camera and thought of the idea of tsukishima enjoying photography as a hobby.
akiteru bought him a camera for christmas once and he absolutely loved it. he would go to the library and get books on photography and would document everything he found beautiful, which includes you.
he would document every single date and special occasion as well as ordinary days you spent together: you cooking, you doing your makeup, you studying, getting ready for work… and his favourite of them all: blurry selfies of you two where your smile would reach your eyes and others where you kiss his cheek.
