[boymilk-moved-deactivated201903]

full offense but like…. ladies and gentlemen…. this is mambo number 5

[boymilk-moved-deactivated201903]

[chonce]

lana del rey: *singing sadly* i fuck old biker men and like riding motorcycles into the hot, 1970s desert. choke me like a can of coooke like the lines you did off my tittieeees

me, not relating but pretending like i do anyway:

[robotsharks-deactivated20260326]

Thibk abt it

[xelfmo]

Visit Original Link

shawty had them 🍎 bottom 👖 (👖) 👢with the FUR (with the fur) the whole club was lookin at her she 👊💥 the floor (she 👊💥 the floor) next thing u know shawty got 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 them baggy sweat pants and the 👟 with the straps (with the straps) she turned and gave that big 🍑 a slap (hey) she 👊💥 the floor (she 👊💥 the floor) next thing u know shawty got 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

[itsbrittanyswift]

idk what I expected but it wasn’t the actual song and it certainly wasn’t that either

[digg]

[recaption]

[gil-galad-ereinion-blog]

[sunbathe]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BWWwLZ7gdsF/

[jigglypuffsvevo]

me: *feels random pain in body*

me: kill me

[constantcogdis-deactivated20180]

Ever since I left the city,

[br-o-ken-poetry]

*gets up*

*wastes day*

*goes to bed again*

yay

[nest-deactivated20181209]

every episode of kitchen nightmares

head chef, who happens to be covered head to toe in centipedes and stale canola oil: i am Cobfident that chef ramsay will enjoy my food. there is nothing wrong with my food. my food is perfect, five stars. 

gordon ramsay: i will have the risotto 

head chef: ok [throws some rice into a sewer, lights it on fire, and empties a packet of frozen kraft singles into the flames] 

gordon ramsay: *takes a bite* this sucks 

head chef: Oh, so we got a bitch and a liar here? Chef Ramsey doesn’t like my food, huh? So we got a blasphemer and a false prophet here, huh? Chef Ramsay dosent know what the fuck or shit he is talking about and I’m personally about to knock him out cold with my massive ballsack.

[d0nn0-deactivated20150125]

Finish this christmas song! Dashing through the

[lorddarkfetus-deactivated201503]

supermarket hurredly, i need to find syrup. i need all the syrup i can buy. enough to fill 4 bathtubs. im going to cover myself in syrup and slide around the ground to acheive maximum velocity. get ready world im coming your way fast

[stagnantwater447-8995]

teacher: hey you are failing your classes idiot

student: you know what teach? i dont give a swag *walks out*

that student.. as you may have already guessed.. was albert einstein

[laurbyboom]

um..i think you made this up for notes?

[stagnantwater447-8995]

first of all, how dare you

[thequotejournals]

In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.

C.S. Lewis (via thequotejournals)

[disneydorito]

View this post on Instagram

[valykas-deactivated20190916]

This is amazing

[fartproducer-deactivated2026013]

Ok but how did they make it look like he was driving

[kisskissfuckshitup]

to people who put antlers and a nose on their car for christmas

you can’t trick me. I know that’s a car. you fool