Heartache &Yearning.

Struggler of the mental illness She/her

[remanence-of-love]

[borntochasethewind]

There is a peace

in finding a kindred soul

one that makes you feel more understood

more confident

and more whole.

For a long time i held dread close to my chest

despair was my only friend.

now i’ve given them up

they try to greet me every now and again,

but no matter what

his collaboration and comprehension

put all conflict at ease.

I still experience highs and lows,

yet now the lows don’t feel so empty.

~ Finding out i don’t need a mask

[lunamonchtuna]

— Rachel Mennies, from The Naomi Letters "April 18, 2017" (via lunamonchtuna)

[borntochasethewind]

finding my spark

took me forever.

gaining the energy to act on it

is agonizingly slow,

but i can see the horizon now.

i can see what and who i want to be

i meet her every day in the mirror.

i try to see her.

i’m ready to start this long road ahead

i’m repeating it like a mantra in my head

as i climb and push myself beyond

my comfort level gets worse and worse,

but the future i see is so close now.

[remanence-of-love]

[borntochasethewind]

free falling

the wind catches my hair, my screams

not knowing if i’ll ever hit the bottom.

The agony isn’t what’s waiting for me,

it’s the torture of not knowing when it’ll come.

of knowing that eventually i’ll collapse,

perhaps broken and mutilated

before i even know it’s coming.

this uncertainty fills me with horror

the anticipation of my impending doom.

~Maybe the anticipation is worse than the actual event

[poetryforall]

[borntochasethewind]

Sometimes being alone can change you.

for the better I hope.

[remanence-of-love]

[becherdireinen]

the universe has a plan for you, even if you can't see it yet.

[borntochasethewind]

my eyes are achy and tired

My limbs sore and hard to lift

my thoughts are the only thing moving fast.

I fall prey to anyone hungry enough,

and love boundlessly despite it.

Everything I have ever loved

has gashes from me holding on too tight.

I have never once loved half heartedly

and i feel more pain because of it.

I don’t regret how I love.

I just wish to be loved the way I love once.

[borntochasethewind]

The one I trusted the most

with holding my heart

threw it away.

I thought I had found a healing love.

I thought i could finally let my walls down.

I’m starting to believe that maybe i’m not meant

to be in love and to be loved.

Maybe I am just that lesson that men need to learn,

the hardship they need to experience.

I now trust no one but the moon and stars,

as no matter who hurts me

no matter how pained and heartbroken I am

The moon and her stars hold me,

and whisper that no matter who hurts me,

I will always be pure in their eyes.

Maybe it isn’t all that bad, when I have her looking down on me.

~reconnecting with the earth and sky

[borntochasethewind]

As time flies by,

the sun rising and falling,

it occurs to me that no matter what

we move forward.

we take steps everyday,

whether we notice or not.

We march forward, then all of a sudden

you’ll realize and look back

seeing just how far you’ve come.

it’s jarring, the difference in myself.

it’s hard to admit just how much work it took,

to finally see myself not as an enemy.

~Realizing that i may not hate myself

[weltenwellen]

Andrea Gibson, Lord of the Butterflies

[wittgensteinsmistrust]

a well-read woman in a disorderly way

Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago

[academia-lucifer]

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

— Oscar Wilde.

[what-iz-life]

Having an emotionally mature partner is TOP TIER. You're able to express yourself freely and openly. They don’t insult you. They don't give you the silent treatment. They don't become aggressive or manipulative. They listen, they respond—they patiently hold a safe space for you.