🧿

I feel like I need an outlet for the noise in my head. If I ever get cancelled, it will be because of something on here

[bostongrand]

Has porn been unbanned or are the bots gettings smarter?

Cause if it's in tag highlights then there's no way staff isn't seeing it.

[bostongrand]

4 hours of loadshedding.

Have to keep my phone alive that whole time.

What will I do.

[bostongrand]

I feel so lost and alone,

Cold to the bone.

[waitstay]

Angry gets shit done

Anansi, American Gods S1E2

[bostongrand]

Just had a thought about struggling with transitions.

It's cold and rainy this morning. I need to shower but just the thought of all those steps and going from clothed and a little warm, to naked and cold, to naked and wet, and on and on and it makes me want to scream

[bostongrand]

I was going to do something

When suddenly it was much, much later.

[bostongrand]

I don't know who needs to hear this,

But please,

especially if you are struggling right now,

Live long enough to take a shit on their grave

What ever strength or consistency fits the transgression

Live long enough to shit on their fucking grave

[bostongrand]

Having a moment of parasocial self-reflection...

There is an artist that I greatly admire and who's body of work is a big inspiration to me. They have been in a bigger body for most of the time I've known them.

Recently, they underwent a drastic weightloss. For context, they had been out of the spotlight for a while and when they came back, they had definitely dropped some weight, but they were still recognisable.

They then underwent another significant weightloss about a few months to a year after that and now they are completely unrecognisable to me.

My first thought when I saw this was, I hope they aren't taking Ozempic (or however it's spelled). In part due to it being in shortage and medically necessary for non-weightloss patients and in part because I hear if you stop Ozempic you gain all the weight back, and I don't want that sword of Damocles hanging over anyone who has had to struggle because of the size of their body.

But I don't know this artist. The later motivation does feel a bit controlling and gross. There's probably more work I need to do on my fatphobia, but we decolonize the mind in steps, not all at once.

At the end of the day, I hope they are living in their joy, and that joy doesn't cause harm to others.

[holorifle]

saying “hm. must be the curse” every time something bad happens and refusing to elaborate is my new hobby

[bostongrand]

It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Hmmm... yikes?

I've been on the platform significantly longer than 3 years, but this account... The Panini, eish

[bostongrand]

It's ok to want what you want

It's ok to like what you like

And so, when your soul screams out for what it needs, don't dismiss it based on your evaluation/assessment of what is reasonable, proper, possible or just.

Treat that which is within you the way you so desperately wish others would you, instead of thoughtlessly abusing it, repeating the cycle.

[bostongrand]

I don't want to do something nice for someone (but a snack, listen to, help with project, etc) because it's an attempt to help regulate their mood so that the chances of them emotionally abusing me goes down.

I want to do something nice for someone because they are someone I genuinely love and care for and receive that love and care in return.

[bostongrand]

Who did it get better for? And who was left behind?

[bostongrand]

Why yes, I do take things personally.

This is a feature, not a bug.

[bostongrand]

Nothing I say or do has any control over how much or how little you choose to abuse me.

Because you were always going to abuse me as much as you felt like.

[secondbeatsongs]

I feel like setting something on fire for new year's. I wonder what it'll be

[bostongrand]

[fade-steppin]

digging in my trash