[petapeta]

[demiiwhiffin]

have fun + trust yourself

[cntnd]

You: J. R. R. Tolkien

Me, an intellectual: Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien

[anonymousphotograph]

[morbidly-interesting-deactivate]

Above is a compilation image of the introduction of several of the Zodiac’s letters.

The Zodiac Killer operated in California from the late 1960′s to early 1970′s. There are 7 confirmed victims of the Zodiac, 2 of which lived to tell about it, though The Zodiac claimed there were many more.

The Zodiac’s identity remains a mystery and the killer was never caught.

[shittynewyorkercartooncaptions]

[kuboe-deactivated20231023-deact]

tbh(thinkin bout Halloween)

[thrusticus]

[jewmanji]

how much news would cher share if cher knew what she was supposed to share

[puddle-of-piss-deactivated20160]

[cursedgarfield]

[twerklina]

[anarchetypalarchive]

so i’m riding the elevator up to my apartment when the emergency phone in the elevator starts ringing 

and i just stand there for a second because this thing is like thirty years old and has never rung or even been used from what i know

but eventually i answer it thinking maybe something’s wrong with the elevator?? it’s an emergency phone it’s probably an emergency??? i dunno

except i shit you not it’s a telemarketer 

a telemarketer that’s as confused as i am when i finally interrupt him mid-spiel to inform him he has the wrong number and then interrupt him again to explain further that “uh, no, seriously, this is an elevator phone. i’m standing in an elevator. talking to you. on the emergency phone. i really think you got the wrong number”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“yeah,” i say.

there’s some mutually-confused silence.

“so, this is my stop,” i say. “i gotta go.”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“good luck,” i add, because telemarketer guy seems like he’s having an existential crisis. and then i hang up on him, because he’s having an existential crisis and won’t actually end the call, and because again i’m talking on an elevator emergency phone and, you know, this is my stop, i gotta go.

[antique-scarecrow]

i’m just a big fan of the tone in which the ending was told

[shittynewyorkercartooncaptions]

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

*lying in bed with my wife*

her: honey you seem to have something on your mind

me: no sweetheart i’m fine

her: are you sure?

me: yes i’m sure. good to sleep

my mind:

gapple fcrumble………

[charmed]

Wednesday is an excellent student, but frankly, I’m concerned. This is our class bulletin board. This month our theme is “Our Heroes”, people we love and admire. You see, Susan Ringo has chosen the President. Isn’t that sweet? And Harmony Feld has picked Diane Sawyer.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

[highfunctioningfool]