sheepfilms
AnasAbdin
h
tumblr dot com
will byers stan first human second
oozey mess
if i look back, i am lost
🪼
trying on a metaphor
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
pixel skylines
Product Placement
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
cherry valley forever
JVL
No title available
Show & Tell
One Nice Bug Per Day
seen from United States
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seen from Brazil
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Romania
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@botstronaut-blog
&& . a r e s c o m m a n d c r .
❝ how exactly is a bonsai supposed to help me? no, i’m in charge; cry about it. ❞
“Bonsais are relaxing and demonstrate my INCREDIBLE, UNDENIABLE patience (you should get one)--- but c’mon, at least let me order Beck around; he’s not doing anything.”
fight me about bi mark watney
broad city sentence meme
“i’m having some, um, valuables appraised.” “are you talking about the fucking beanie babies?” “i love me some dumplings. it’s like a squirrel clutch with a meatball in it.” “i wanna finish a book… reading, not writing.” “i’m gonna do one legit pull up, for real this time.” “i jinxed myself… i bought too many condoms, story of my life.” “i like to call it jazz because it comes out of my horn, and you never know where it’s gonna go.” “my biggest weakness is that i lose my purse a lot. but my biggest strength is that i always get it back.” “who would leave weed in a wall?” “it’s 2015, anal’s on the menu.” “i’m a sexual x-man. i’m wolverine. i’m vulvarine!” “fuck you, don’t tell me to calm down!” “yelp said somebody got a staph infection in this place… it’s so cheap now.” “what a way to start the day.” “it’s like, we knew it would happen but we didn’t do anything about it.” “ugh, [name]! don’t black swan me like that, dude.” “my brain’s been a dud all day.” “you know what’s the biggest luxury? pooping when no one’s home.” “something i love about myself is, rain or shine, thick or thin, if i have to take a dump, i can go anywhere.” “i am not a MOM!” “i just want to lay with, like, a lot of pugs, you know?” “you know, the vagina is nature’s pocket.” “who would you rather go down on you, michael buble or janet jackson?” “you said if you were ever going to do same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me!” “i respect you respecting me.” “i’m gonna respect your dick later.” “i would follow you into hell, brother!” “never have i ever read a newspaper.” “i am the problem. i am gentrification, y’know?” “i was so worried, i baked a whole cake.” “i’m an adult and i’m responsible. let’s go get some candy.” “bed bath and beyond coupons NEVER EXPIRE.” “what i do at my place of work is none of your goddamn business.” “i am truly wet.” “maybe it’s the nitrous, or maybe it’s the weed but, uh… i don’t care.” “this is the happiest day of my LIFE!” “i’m a real jokester today.” “maybe your dad should have pulled out.” “she’s got chocolate brown eyes and the ass of an angel.” “we are garbage people living on garbage island!” “love ya, bitch.”
hey do me a favor and reblog with ur name and pronouns in the tags!!
injured memes
“ oh my god what happened? ”
“ you’re bleeding! why are you bleeding? ”
“ who did this to you? ”
“ that’s… a lot of blood ”
“ i think… it’s broken ”
“ can you move? does it hurt? ”
“ we need to get you to a hospital ”
“ what are you talking about? this is not just a scratch ”
“ it’s just a scratch ”
“ it’s nothing, i’m totally fine ”
“ that’s not supposed to bend that way ”
“ what the hell did you do? ”
“ don’t you pass out on me ”
“ i’m just so tired ”
“ hey, whoa, you alright there? ”
“ i just need to sit down for a minute ”
“ let me carry you ”
“ it won’t stop bleeding! ”
“ you’re gonna be just fine, i promise ”
“ hey! i said stay awake! ”
“ tell me what hurts ”
“ does it hurt when i do this? ”
“ ow! that hurts! ”
“ i’m fine, i can walk, just give me a minute ”
“ it was an accident ”
@arescommandcr - cont. from x
“Oh, hey now! I can grow a BONSAI out’a nothing--- I think that merits some control over these Little Rascals---”
Okay nice. I am officially here. I got a new theme, I’m gonna start replying to starters and memes today and tomorrow, after I’ve come back from GameStop and Star Wars. You can like this for a starter, but the speed with which they’ll be divvied about will probs not be very fast.
Pain is real. But so is hope.
TheDailyPositive.com (via thedailypozitive)
The wreckage of stars — I built a world from this wreckage.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Dionysian Dithyrambs (via sunst0ne)
> ARE YOU RECEIVING ME ?
I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS AND THIS BOZO STILL WON’T LEAVE AND HAS EATEN ALL OUR SNACKS: THE GIVEAWAY
WELL, WELL, WELL. WHAT A WILD RIDE IT HAS BEEN. i was gonna write a whole big thing about how the idea for pasha novak came about and how i wanted to subvert the hero role and exploit the messy gal trope to gross-out monstrosity levels, until i realized NO ONE FUCKING ASKED FOR THAT so i’ll spare you the lecture. (though, any questions/queries/concerns you may have regarding this holy day can be answered HERE.) seriously, it’s a huge shock to me that i’m still here because the only thing i’ve been able to commit to for two whole years is drinking one whole bottle of wine, minimum, by myself, once a week every week. so clearly this is working out great! no, but i really do love my flesh and blood and burger meat daughter pashandra novak to the ends of the earth, she has become an institution of horrific terrible comedy unto herself and that wouldn’t be possible without the people that write with me leaning into the weirdness. thank you, from the bottom of my stolen, withered, clogged baboon heart.
enough of me being a sap. let’s get to
THE REAL SHIT, YOU VULTURES
FIRST PRIZE (ONE WINNER): a custom, hand painted picture of your muse on a canvas sheet, measuring 16x18 inches or thereabouts. we can pow-wow about the specifics of the piece later and i can show you examples of my previous work.
SECOND PRIZE (TWO WINNERS): a full colour A5 copy of PARAPSYCHED: THE ZINE, a limited edition (and possibly only once off) art/fiction zine that i’m starting this coming january. it’s about pasha novak, in case you haven’t guessed. (the idea for this came from the fact that i already make an art zine, which you can buy here if you want.)
THIRD PRIZE (THREE WINNERS): a black and white A5 copy of PARAPSYCHED: THE ZINE, and an 8tracks mix ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR CHOOSING (OOOH) (AAAAH)
THESE ARE THE GODDAMN RULES BECAUSE THIS IS MY TOWN
1. gotta b following me. there is literally no reason why you would want any of this shit if you weren’t following me so like…. don’t be that fucking asshole who follows and then unfollows after the thing is over 2. no likes, just reblahgs 3. please don’t reblog if you’re uncomfortable with giving me a mailing address so i can send this stuff to you, because i can’t do digital art or like any kind of fancy icons or whatever to substitute the prizes listed above, this is all i got (i’m NOT going to send you poison) 4. please allow some time for the prizes to be completed!!! these things are competing with college, social life and my own art shit for my attention and i tend to get real swamped real easy these days but i promise you, if you win, YOU’RE GETTING STUFF. just may take a minute 5. winners will be chosen using a random generator thing because i’m not about favourites and if i was then i wouldn’t be the head of a very successful crime ring i mean WHAT 6. multiple reblogs are cool 7. hail satan
GIVEAWAY CLOSES JANUARY 15TH SO LET’S SHAG ASS
The Martian ( Book ) Starters
“I’m pretty much fucked. That’s my considered opinion. Fucked.”
“What you know? I’m in command.”
“My asshole is doing as much to keep me alive as my brain.”
“Astronauts are inherently insane.”
“One in three, based on empirical data. That’s pretty bad when you think about it.”
“Well, I didn’t die.”
“How come Aquaman can control whales? They’re mammals! Makes no sense.”
“Everything went great right up to the explosion.”
“Rover experimental missions will be ‘Sirius’ missions. Get it? Dogs? Well if you don’t, fuck you.”
“I guess you could call it a ‘failure’, but I prefer the term ‘learning experience’.”
“It would kill me to death!”
“Holy shit, it worked!”
“They know I’m alive!”
“Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working, 0/10.”
“Really looking forwards to not dying.”
[text]: Look a pair of boobs! -> (.Y.)
“I don’t want to come off as arrogant here, but I’m the best botanist on the planet.”
“I’m your face, Neil Armstrong!”
“Anything, oh God, ANYTHING but Disco!”
[text]: Please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute.
“You god damn coward!”
“We’re talking about mutiny!”
“That makes me a pirate! A space pirate!”
“Well I fucked up..”
“It’s a stupid idea. I’m not doing it.”
“It’s true you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.”
“Yes, there are assholes who just don’t care, but they’re massively outnumbered by the people who do.”
“This is the happiest day of my life.”
until dawn sentence meme
❛ The FUCK are you trying to do? ❜ ❛ You want to ruin our fun that bad? ❜ ❛ Did you see it? ❜ ❛ You were looking at your phone! What, are you tweeting? ❜ ❛ I feel like someone’s watching us. ❜ ❛ Well it’s definitely creepy down here. ❜ ❛ Understand the palm of my hand, bitch! ❜ ❛ Boom. Butterfly effect. ❜ ❛ At least I can think. 4.0, bitch. ❜ ❛ Suck on that when you’re trying to sleep your way into a job. ❜ ❛ Sleepover! Can we order pizza? ❜ ❛ Go suck an egg! ❜ ❛ Oh, yeah, we’re sooo gonna make out. ❜ ❛ If it were me, I wouldn’t want this place to burn down on my watch. ❜ ❛ Oh did you not hear me? Was your sluttiness too loud? ❜ ❛ Right, because she gave a shit about your designer letter jacket. ❜ ❛ Damn right I’m right. I’m always right. ❜ ❛ Don’t think, you idiot! ❜ ❛ You couldn’t buy a moldy loaf of bread with your skanky ass. ❜ ❛ Who needs grades when you’ve got ALL the natural advantages you can handle? ❜ ❛ That bitch is on crack or something. ❜ ❛ Have fun with the peanut gallery. ❜ ❛ I’m supposed to be his best friend and I let him down. ❜ ❛ Every second that I spent with you was the only thing I wanted to do with my time. ❜ ❛ I should have told you how i felt. ❜ ❛ Have whatever you want. You just take whatever you want anyways, right? ❜ ❛ You rock. A-plus, would buy again. ❜ ❛ Why do you hate my jacket? ❜ ❛ When are you gonna take her to the bonezone? ❜ ❛ I just want to rip her parka right off of her… make some snow angels, am I right? ❜ ❛ No… you’re not real! No… you’re not… ❜ ❛ Jesus hot sauce Christmas cake, this is fucking unbelievable. ❜ ❛ We’re freezing our buns off out here. ❜ ❛ Hey… come back safe. ❜ ❛ Well, this isn’t the internet. This is real life. ❜ ❛ Whoah, easy there cowboy. ❜ ❛ You guys are jerks, you know that? ❜
wes anderson inspired sentence meme
“I saved Latin. What did you ever do?”
“I was punched in the face. What’s your excuse?”
“So we both have dead people in our families.”
“I’m sorry, I just came by to thank you for WRECKING MY LIFE!”
“Mmm, I’m a little bit lonely these days.”
“She’s sweet, but she’s fucked-up.”
“I just wanted to say, I’m sorry I threw rocks at you that day.”
“Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.”
“I’m talking about putting a brick through the other guy’s windshield. I’m talking about taking it out and chopping it up.”
“That’s the last time you put a knife in me!”
“Let’s shag ass.”
“I’m going to find it and I’m going to destroy it. I don’t know how yet, maybe dynamite.”
“What are you doing? Go to bed, you sons of bitches!”
“Son of a bitch, I’m sick of these dolphins.”
“Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass.
“If we don’t handle this right, we’re gonna all get murdered.”
“Be cool on this shit, okay, cubbie?”
“Obviously people are gonna think I’m a showboat and a little bit of a prick.”
“This is an adventure.”
“I still wish I could breathe underwater.”
“If you ever touch me again I will kick your goddamn teeth out.”
“We fuckin’ stole it, man.”
“I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“We’re in love. We just want to be together. What’s wrong with that?”
“I love you. I never hurt you you on purpose.”
the golden girls starter meme.
1. ❛ i’m not one to blow my own vertubenflugen. ❜ 2. ❛ isn’t a fact that you have a drawer full of retirement home brochures & you’re just waiting for the first sign of dribble on your mother’s chin to lock her away forever? ❜ 3. ❛ tell me the truth. do these glasses make me look stupid? ❜ 4. ❛ well, it’s unspeakable, that’s what it is. absolutely unspeakable. ❜ 5. ❛ just because you walk around looking like an english lawyer doesn’t mean everybody has to. ❜ 6. ❛ college isn’t really my style. i attend the school of life. ❜ 7. ❛ you can go straight to h-e-double hockey sticks! ❜ 8. ❛ i feel lousy, & being mean to you just makes me feel better. ❜ 9. ❛ hello there, tall, dark, & jolly. ❜ 10. ❛ my god, i’m hallucinating. i see little balls of sunshine in a bag. ❜ 11. ❛ what happens when there’s only one of us left? ❜ 12. ❛ i guess there’s a lesson to be learned here. sometimes life just isn’t fair, kiddo. ❜ 13. ❛ i am shocked & i want details! ❜ 14. ❛ let’s rent an adult video, drink mimosas, & french kiss the pillows. ❜ 15. ❛ here we are, in the middle of a crisis, & there’s no cheesecake. ❜ 16. ❛ you look like a prostitute. ❜ 17. ❛ she says you are the scum of the earth, — but she said it with a lot of love in her eyes. ❜ 18. ❛ i’m the biggest slut. ❜ 19. ❛ gee, with only three hours’ sleep, i can be as bitchy as you. ❜ 20. ❛ you’re always a bit ornery, unpleasant, impolite, even downright mean. that’s part of your charm. ❜ 21. ❛ thank you, you bed-hopping relic. ❜ 22. ❛ i could vomit just looking at you. ❜ 23. ❛ i am upset because i was not the center of attention & nobody said i was the prettiest. ❜ 24. ❛ oh, blow it out your tubenburbles! ❜ 25. ❛ i haven’t had to disappoint this many men since daddy tore down the tree house. ❜ 26. ❛ isn’t it amazing how i can feel so bad & still look so good? ❜ 27. ❛ i could get herpes listening to this story! ❜ 28. ❛ i have a rule. if i can’t pronounce it, i don’t put it in my mouth. ❜ 29. ❛ is that ‘ kick me hard ‘ sign a fashion statement? ❜ 30. ❛ come on, like you never pretended to be possessed by somebody’s dead husband of a couple of laughs. ❜
Jurassic Park [Sentence Starters]
"Hold on to your butts."
"Yeah, but, ___, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists."
"Woman inherits the earth."
"God help us, we're in the hands of engineers."
"The point is, you are alive when they start to eat you."
"Should we chance moving him?"
"Please, chance it."
"The lack of humility before nature that's being displayed here staggers me."
"I think things are a little bit different then you and I had feared..."
"The only one I've got on my side is the blood-sucking lawyer."
"Must go faster."
"Nobody could've predicted that ___ would suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle."
"That's chaos theory."
"We can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back."
"What's the matter, kid? You never had lamb chops?"
"Well... we're back... in the car again."
"I bring the scientists, you bring a rock star."
"You wield it like a kid that's found his dad's gun."
"Clever girl..."
"What's so great about discovery?"
"Boy, do I hate being right all the time!"
"You did it. You crazy son of a bitch, you did it."
"What have they got in there, King Kong?"
"I'm always on the lookout for a future ex-Mrs. ____."
"You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it."
"I can't wait any longer. Something went wrong."
"You think they'll have that on the tour?"
"That is absolutely out of the question."
"Life finds a way."
"____, I think we're back in business!"
"Don't move! He can't see us if we don't move."
"I told you! How many times?"
"You can't just stroll down the road, you know?"
"We can make it if we run."
"We are being hunted."
"You never had control, that's the illusion!"
"But I made a mistake, too, I didn't have enough respect for that power and it's out now."
"The only thing that matters now are the people we love. They're out there where people are dying."
"Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."
"After some consideration, I've decided not to endorse your park."
"____, the phones are working."
