What? I'm A Fan of Thumper

i'm all lost in the supermarket / i can no longer shop happily / came here for a special offer / a guaranteed personality. MULTIMUSE. Penned by Bowie

[jonathanbyersphd]

Jonathan Byers + Anger Issues Web Weave

Chapter Five: The Flea and the Acrobat/Cop Car, Mitski/unknown/Chapter Eight: The Upside Down/I Would Leave Me If I Could, Halsey/Chapter Five: Dig Dug/ In The Dream House, Carmen Maria Machado/Chapter Four: The Sauna Test/The Fallen Angel, Alexandre Cabanel/ This Is Me Trying, Taylor Swift/Chapter Two: Vecna's Curse/Hollywood, Charles Bukowski/ Chapter Two: The Weirdo On Maple Street

[oddspromo]

𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐖 𝐔𝐏 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. Whispers of rebellion, of a lost district; No family was spared from the fallout of civil war. We'll never go back, they say, and everyone has their ways of coping with it. With life in the districts, short and painful and ultimately meaningless; With life in the Capitol, hedonistic and indulgent and tenuous, on the brink of collapse at any moment.

The 74th Annual Hunger Games are upon us now, the last vestige of a history long ignored. The energy is tangible this time of year, districts walking on eggshells and the Capitol gearing up for celebration. There can be no beauty without pain, after all. 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐃𝐃𝐒 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑?

THEODDSHQ is a Discord/Tumblr Hybrid, 21+ literate, canon divergent roleplay set during the 74th Hunger Games. With appable OCs in the districts and the capitol, plus strict diversity rules, The Odds encourages storytelling, character development, and literacy. The Odds is a plot-heavy group, with regular events occurring on Discord.

[that-thing-that-feeling]

Monster Trap

Episode 8: The Upside Down, Stranger Things

[is-emily-real]

mid-2000s jonathan byers listens exclusively to divorced dad rock

[daniel-bruehl]

RAHUL KOHLI as Sheriff Hassan MIDNIGHT MASS | S01E01

[vivienvalentino]

MICHIEL HUISMAN as Cal Morrison in Orphan Black (Season 2)

[septemberkisses]

— The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

[moonstoast]

crush by richard siken // richard diebenkorn // richard diebenkorn // if there’s a way out i’ll take it by lora mathis

[sageandscorpiongrass]

Have you ever thought about losing your brother?

me vs. making webweaves on dying and family. really this was just an excuse to think about killing flies.

Killing Flies, Michael Dickman | Separation, W.S. Merwin | Eurydice, Ocean Vuong | It, Stephen King | Winnie-the-Pooh, A.A Milne | Fading Kitten Syndrome, ROAR | Quote via. Maurice Sendak | A Meeting, Wendell Berry | Anguish, August Friedrich Schenck | West Wind I, Mary Oliver | Planet of Love, Richard Siken | Quote via. C.C, Aurel | Oats We Sow, Gregory and the Hawk | The Living to the Dead, Käthe Kollwitz | Quote via Fortesa Latifi | Antigonick, Anne Carson | Killing Flies, Michael Dickman (cont.)

[thursdaysyme]

Jonathan Byers,, its hard being a father brother parent at 17 ok

[perfectquote]

“Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.”

— Andrea Gibson

[nicostiel]

#iconic

[whitehairedanimeboyfriend]

"I fucked ur mom this" "I have sex with your dad that" well I have a weird homoerotic relationship with your hot older brother and he got lost in my eyes over our jumbo pizza slices and forgot to pick you up after soccer practice. it's raining and you're devestated btw

[not-a-dis-a-ppointment]

[dyke-delphinium]

Why Things Burn, Daphne Gottlieb

[bowie-byers]

Coming out Thread // Continued

@waldenwritess

Will:

Will leaned into Jonathan's hug like he had so many times before, only this time he felt himself leaning more heavily, gathering the fabric of Jonathan's shirt into his fists and squeezing his eyes closed. A few tears slipped through, wetting Jonathan knew, that much was apparent, but Will still had to say it. He knew once the words left his mouth he could never take them back. He knew he could never take them back either way. With Jonathan's reassurance, Will pulled away and swiped at his face with the back of his hand, weak smile to show Jonathan that he would be okay. Eventually, maybe. Will followed Jonathan to his bed and sat next to him, eyes falling immediately to the carpet under his feet, fingers once again picking at the hem of his too-big shirt that used to be Jonathan’s. As his brother began talking, Will lifted his eyes to Jonathan’s face, automatically shaking his head in protest as Jonathan started apologizing. He opened his mouth to protest— to promise that Jonathan had been a better brother than he ever could’ve wished for, that it wasn’t him Will was afraid of, really, just the fact that saying it out loud made it real— but Will didn’t want to interrupt. He found himself nodding along, agreeing that things do get way more complicated. Will had felt behind when his friends all started dating and all he wanted to do was play DnD, but he wondered now if that was less about not wanting to date and more about who he wanted to date. “I never felt alone,” he ventured, before Jonathan could move on. “I know you will. You do,” he confirmed in as many words as he could manage without bursting completely into tears. Will’s throat burned from holding back his emotion, and he swallowed hard, determined to pay attention to Jonathan’s words.

Studying his hands, Will clasped and unclasped them in his lap. They felt clammy, and he wiped them on his jeans while he desperately tried not to think of Mike Wheeler. It makes you do stupid shit. Will immediately thought of the conversation he’d had with Mike in the van back in California, how Mike somehow managed to frustrate him more than anyone else in the world, but also felt like home. He met Jonathan’s eyes cautiously, then, not sure just how many confessions he was up for in one go. Jonathan’s eyes pierced through Will’s soul, and he felt frozen under his brother’s intense gaze. Everyone deserves to know what that feels like. HIs eyes welled up again, but this time Will didn’t reach up to swipe at them. He let the tears fall, one and two and then faster, until they streamed together. Suddenly, Will felt like a little kid again— like he was five years old, hugging Jonathan’s leg, begging him not to leave and go to school, just this once. Clinging to the safety his brother always brought with him, the certainty that someone loved him not in spite of everything he was, but because of it. As long as he could remember, Jonathan was Will’s safety net— he ordered for Will at restaurants way past that being acceptable, he talked to strangers on the bus on Will’s behalf, he let Will duck behind him in crowds, but Will knew it had to come to an end. Jonathan couldn’t say this for him. Taking a shaky breath, Will met Jonathan’s eyes again and nodded, trying to soak in Jonathan’s words. Jonathan was always recording things, and for a second Will wished he was recording this, so Will could revisit it over and over and be sure of what he said. The world needs to see it, and there’s someone out there who will love you for it. Once again, Jonathan’s words burned Will’s throat. He reached out and took Jonathan’s hand, squeezing hard to redirect the pressure from his eyes to his hands, and took another deep breath. “Jonathan, I’m gay.” It didn’t feel like how he thought it would. Will didn’t feel freer, or lighter— maybe in an existential sense, he felt good to finally tell the truth. He felt the same, only with a sneaking suspicion that he’d have a headache tomorrow from all the crying. “You already knew,” he said, tenderly loosening his grip on Jonathan’s hand, but not letting go yet. “Thank you. For making it easy to say,” he said, after a beat of silence. Will searched Jonathan’s eyes, afraid he hadn’t said enough to assuage any guilt Jonathan was holding onto. “I think it just… took me a while to figure out what my feelings meant. And then, everything else,” he said, grimacing at the thought of all that had happened this year. The last few years. Too much for a lifetime. He was lost in that thought for a while.

“It’s not because of you, or mom,” Will clarified, though his mind was lightyears away. Jonathan’s words— his promise that someone out there will love him— had a haunting effect. Will had never doubted that he was loved, that he would be loved. He’d always known that his family and friends loved him. But romantic love felt like it was off the table. He remembered telling mom that he would never fall in love; it wasn’t so much a goal as it was the submission to what he felt was true. When he finally spoke up again, his voice sounded small, almost fragile: “Do you really think someone else will… that I’ll find someone? Like me?”

Jonathan:

His own eyes started watering, and he gave his brother a nanosecond to work into the confession. The waterworks always started as soon as Will cried ... It's been that way since time immemorial. He paid no mind to the numbing tingle in the tips of his fingers caught in Will’s vice grip, nodding encouragingly.  Jonathan, I’m Gay. Hearing confirmation of what he’d always known was a breath of fresh air. He stayed silent in fear of saying anything to interrupt his brother’s emotional breakthrough. Christ, he feared breathing too loud and stopping the big words from spilling into this quiet little safe space in his bedroom. Jonathan had picked up on a few signs (for a lack of better words) over the years – not to mention their conversation in Surfer Boy. His big brother sixth sense expected to hear an I’m Gay disclosure at some point. This was a huge moment for Will – And honestly, it was a very joyous moment in Jonathan’s mind. It’s not because of you or mom. That’s when he finally cut his brother off. “Will, feelings are … intense sometimes – it takes time to figure stuff out and you don’t have to have everything figured out right now, either. You’re growing up, you know? And I’m so proud of you for opening up to me about this – so proud ... that takes a lot of guts.” He maintained his gaze with a more serious glint, expression lit with unequivocal trust.  As much as he was an older brother and they’d operated consistently in a realm of honesty over the years… Jonathan was still a young person himself. Giving his brother a glimpse into his own vulnerabilities was uncomfortable, regardless of the age difference. “I think you’re old enough to hear this now but … I never really had anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff – love, relationships and everything that comes with that. There’s mom, you know? but sometimes you just need … someone that isn’t mom …” He swallowed to recenter himself on the point that he was trying to make. “I kinda had to figure it out on my own and … it sucked. You can always talk to me about this stuff – or like boy problems.” He cringed as soon as boy problems left his mouth. Could he have said something dorkier? Probably not. “There’s things that you won’t want to tell me or mom – and that’s okay, but there’s so many people who love you and would break their backs to help you – Hopper, Murray, your friends … Hell, there’s people who even do that for a living … and if – If I don’t have the answers to something, I’ll always help you find them, alright?”

He brushed a hand over his brow. Do you really think someone else will … that I’ll find someone? Jonathan used to ask himself the very same question. Still wonders about it sometimes. A slight chuckle caused mucus to catch in his throat and he promptly coughed it away. Both of his palms moved back to his knees, keeping a sly smile at bay. He really wasn't laughing at Will. The fact that his brother had any doubts about his own merits was amusing but the concern in Will's tone scared the living shit out of him. “You don’t … You don’t have to have to worry about finding someone. Trust me, someone will show up when you least expect it – and when you truly love yourself, inside and out, people are drawn to that ... Soon enough you’ll get grounded for sneaking boys into the house.”  He cracked some light into their conversation, but it was also entirely true. Will was still super young. It’s hard to feel desirable when you’re still growing into your own skin. Jonathan knew how that felt … And although it was probably impossible for Will to fathom, there’d probably be many someones … Boys who swell your heart to five times its size. Boys who deflate it. Boys who make promises.  Boys who show up late – or sometimes surprisingly on time. Boys who are dumb as hell …  Little did Will know that he’d probably meet handfuls of boys before settling on someone who makes his world stop spinning. That’s just life. Deep down Jonathan simply hoped that the right … someone … would be found outside of Hawkins. The world’s a big place and Will Byers deserved to experience everything that it had to offer. Period. That’s what Jonathan wanted for him. “By the way - Just so you know … Mom will find out even if they sneak out of your window.” He nudged his chin towards the single pane window in the corner of his room, picking up the collar of his t-shirt to wipe his nose. These days Nancy used the front door but back at their old place she was jumping out of his bedroom window like an acrobat for most of the summer before they took off to California. “Mom has a sixth sense for that shit so don’t even bother lying.” 

[bowie-byers]

following in the footsteps of a dear friend ... but things are slowly brewing behind the scenes! I will be revamping my muse page shortly if there's anyone looking to write! I tend to stick to canon stranger things characters but I have a few oc's that I love immensely (and will be added!) (21+, no smut).

[bowie-byers]

Jolly's Mistletoe Drama

Who: Jonathan Byers x Holly Farley

Where: Hawkins Post New Year's Eve Party before Jolly breakup era :/

Jonathan: Jonathan showed at the New Year’s Eve party late (no surprise here - there's a theme!). He’d just finished visiting his mom’s house to say Happy New Year before driving over. It was a short affair – mostly just to say hi and steal some cookies. Holly had told him that she’d meet up with him at the office, which was fine. She tended to enjoy chatty events like these much more than him, anyway. The party itself was a portal to something from Saved By The Bell – the cliques, fake laughs, shitty pizza - it was all there, but his girlfriend was nowhere to be seen. Jonathan spotted Greg and shot him a confused look. “Where’s Holly?” He mouthed, hands raising in despair. Greg's only response was a shrug, followed by a sip of punch. Great, that’s super helpful. Holly always found time to squeeze in work. He figured that she might be cooped up in her office right now, looping herself into a project before the new year even began – So, that’s where he headed! The hike up the staircase also mitigated any further interaction with his co-workers, especially Kyle - that dude liked to talk about bowling way too much. He roamed the halls to find Holly’s office deserted, along with the break room, boardroom, and toilet stall #3.

His periphery only caught the familiar bright light as he left the men’s washroom - the big DO NOT ENTER sign flashing above the darkroom door. It usually signified that photography was being processed. No one really utilized it anymore. Although chemically developed photography was becoming an ancient art, it was hard to blame The Post for keeping it old school around the office. Every prehistoric room in this building would be repurposed one day. Probably long after he left this zoo, but that was a matter for a different thread.

Jonathan curiously opened the door, eyes adjusting to the room’s dull red light. What came next knocked the wind out of him. He recognized Shaun’s back first, then Holly’s nose pressed against his neck, meeting her surprised brown eyes. The hem of her dress was hiked, and that’s all he really needed to see. The moment was frozen in time – like the click and blinding flash of his camera right before a shot is captured. Much like that sound, this would haunt him for years; he was sure of it. He needed air – something, anything but facing the reality of what was happening right now. An anguished “Wait!” could be heard as he backed out of the room. It didn’t stop his feet as they stalked down the hallway, hands stiffly planted in his corduroy jacket.

Holly:

Holly bolted out of the darkroom, frantically patting down her sequin dress, “Jonathan - can you please just – listen, fuck – just stop.” She begged, pulling at the strap on her shoulder, plowing down the hallway after him. She struggled to catch up. “Jonathan.” The pain in her voice was evident now, gaze burning into the fraying sherpa collar on his coat. Nothing short of relief washed over her expression when he finally turned around. It halted her from moving forward. “Please – let’s go to my office, okay?

Jonathan:

Jonathan’s bottom lip would disappear if he sucked it in any further. He turned only at the strangled sound of his name. Maybe it was avoidance but really didn’t want to have this conversation – not here, anyway – in the hallway. He met Holly’s suggestion with a short nod, eyes prickling with tears. Was there really an option besides caving to her request? He walked down the hallway, brushing past Holly’s shoulder before rounding the corner to the office spaces. Holly's office was conveniently a few rooms down from Shaun’s – fantastic. He used his spare key to open the door, holding it open with his shoulder. Holly rushed in behind him, closing the blinds before taking a shameful slouch near the desk. He stood; arms crossed; eyes narrowed on the murky carpet - vision of the darkroom's amber light tormenting his thoughts. They stayed like that for a minute until Jonathan calmly broke the stalemate, finally making eye-contact. “What am I supposed to say to that, Holly?” His tone remained pointed, shoulders dubiously lifting as he continued, “Should I be saying happy fucking New Year or something?”

Holly:

The silence was killing her, and his response only irritated her more. “Are you serious-?” She couldn’t contain a sardonic laugh. The chuckle shook her shoulders, prompting tears to dot down her cheeks, “Are you being serious right now?” She repeated, voice raising in disbelief, “God - How are you so normal about this?!” Holly began pacing the front of her desk, hands swaying as she spoke, “I’m serious – what the fuck, Jonathan!”

Jonathan:

“Holly-” Suddenly Jonathan’s entire demeanour softened, arms uncrossing to walk forward and bridge the gap between them.

Holly:

Holly’s index finger shot up to stop him, “No – stop.” She waved him away. “Seriously - stop.” She bit down on her lower lip in contemplation, chewing on the inner ridge before continuing. He could be so insufferable sometimes. “I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry, okay? I will say that until the day I drop dead but – but when’s the last time you’ve touched me, like actually – besides when you get high?” She asked, shaky hand swiping her forehead, eyes squeezing shut for a second, “and I’m not – I’m not talking about when we fuck in my Honda because it’s convenient for us.” She was livid now, months of simmering despair fizzing to the surface. “This is real, Jonathan!”

Jonathan:

Jonathan’s face flushed, hands shamefully returning to his pockets. He was blindsided by this conversation but there was no denying it. Holly wasn’t wrong. Life simply felt big for him lately - maybe it always has, perpetually caught in a hamster wheel assigned to him by no one other than himself. Most days Jonathan had to remind himself to breathe. That breathing often took the form of a joint. "I’m sorry.” He admitted it fully, gaze moving to the cactus on her desk, “I know that … I know that I haven’t been around a lot - things have just gotten so crazy with Susan on vacation and I guess … I guess my head hasn’t been here but Shaun?-” He shook his head, toeing at the carpet, “Holly – I don’t … I don’t know if we can move past that.” It would be more accurate to say that Jonathan wasn't sure if they could move past that. "How long has this been going on for?" He was scared to ask, truly. Shaun had a reputation around the office.

Holly:

Holly heard what he said and immediately felt the urge to press him further. Shaun be damned, she wasn’t prepared to let this go. The office scandal ran deeper than Friday night smoke sessions. “You used to talk about getting out of here – travelling, getting married, doing something other than rotting at The Post.” Her time in Hawkins had been prolonged because of him. Holly never intended to stay this long, especially not three consecutive years. This entire opportunity was initially undertaken to jump start her career, but she loved him – even if her mom wasn’t entirely convinced that was enough. Holly’s dad liked him enough too but there was no denying that her boyfriend was a bit odd. Jonathan didn’t blend in at her parent’s summer cottage, that’s for sure. “I know I fucked up with Shaun – and I’m sorry – it’s just … He was here tonight, you know? …. And – and things got out of hand,” Holly met his gaze, swiping at the rogue tears pooling over her lids, “you need to figure out what you want because if we’re going to make this work, I need you to be here – with me.”

Jonathan:

“I still want that.” He said, but something about his tone wasn’t entirely convincing. “You’re not from Hawkins, Holly, but I have a life here – My mom, my brother … I can’t just leave like that.” He tried to explain, desperate to find common ground, “I’ve finally paid off my debt – And you’ve talked about kids – more than one, you know? And I don’t – I don’t have a degree or anything, okay? – I only landed this job because Betty was nice enough to pull a few strings with Gabe.”

Holly:

Holly knew that that she was pushing it now. “You need to stop with the whole family act because it’s bullshit. Will’s not your fucking kid – and your mom’s a grown woman.” Her arms crossed pensively, the pace of her speech picking up now, “Sometimes – Sometimes I wonder where your head is, you know? It’s like you go all silent on me and it just – it just feels like you’re not here – and I need you to be here, with me - on the same wavelength for us to work…. You never talk to me about anything anymore, and – and you have all these weird friends, like that creepy uncle who shows up for Sunday dinners? It just feels like I don’t know you … You’ve never opened up about to me about your family– or anything … Jesus Christ, it’s been three years! Three years, Jonathan! – And you know everything about me! Down to where I had my first kiss! … and I’ve given you space, I get it - but it just feels like I don’t who you are - where you learned to ride a bike, what you wore to prom, what happened with your sister?” Holly paused, knowing that she was pushing his limits now, but it was the truth. There was no going back now. “And you have all these boxes of newspapers clippings – pictures that you refuse to tell me anything about …” She trailed. There wasn’t much more that she could say. He’d know what she was talking about. “I love you, Jonathan – I do, but I need more from you. I can’t live like this anymore.”

Jonathan:

Jonathan let her vent. The comment about Will sat heavy in his chest. She knew that it would work its way under his skin and stop every thought from coiling up his throat. He’d already heard different variations of the same spiel in little digs on drives back from family dinners or after lengthy conversations with his brother on the phone. They’d been playing this little game for a while now, but truly - is a game really game until you admit that you’re playing one? Holly knew enough about his family - more than he wanted, actually. More than he cared for her to know or remember himself. What more did she need to hear – that Jonathan taught himself to ride a fucking bike? The quiet rage kept his gaze fixated on that weird little cactus on her desk, though his eyes snapped upwards to meet hers at the mention of Eleven. Holly had only recently found out about El after stumbling on an old box containing a few scratched-up pictures from California. He came home from work to be met with an interrogation about it … Having a secret dead sister wasn’t something that Holly took lightly at the time … Neither did she take kindly to his preserved collection of letter exchanges with Nancy from the first few months after the big move to California in 1985. So, yeah … Things had been strained between them to say the least. Now it was clear that this calculated game of walking on eggshells was a checkmate for them both. In this poorly lit office, he couldn’t see a path forward for them both. It crushed him.

Jonathan reached for the car keys in his pocket, head hung low to hide his watery eyes. A few tears trickled down his cheeks for the first time since opening the darkroom door. “I’ll stay at my mom’s place tonight.” His voice cracked, keys clinking in hand. The conversation was over for him.

Holly:

"Yeah – no surprise there.” She remained planted in front of her desk, tone colder now. She wasn’t a stranger to Jonathan Byers and his silent treatment. Holly wasn’t sure how much longer she could tiptoe around it. Her guilt went on the back-burner. “Be sure to wish Joyce a happy fucking new year, too.”