This is My Life

*shrug*

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

fucking love when I'm on a call with someone and they start to do a little errand or go somewhere else and they say "and you're coming with me" like. absolutely I am let's go on an adventure I've been spirited away

[burins]

my grandma sent me a family letter to try to decipher, because I'm fairly good at reading old handwriting due to past jobs. to my delight I could make out most of it and it is mostly my three greats grandma just complaining about the price of cod liver oil and flipping a mattress and how crowded New York was when she went to visit my great-grandma. someone kept this letter for a hundred years and it's incredibly mundane and also exactly how my grandma writes emails to me now. delightful!

[jesterbots]

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[klapollo]

i love junie b jones bc barbara park just REALLY understood how to translate the syntax of children into book form. like she's a genius. i could write essays about it

the way the kids just habitually scream all the time for no reason. the fucked up inconsistent grammar. the kids being named shit like "that Jim I hate." the sentence structure. The way she says phrases in a way that shows she's copying what she hears adults say. she understood it all sooooo well.

[popsunner]

I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you

[popsunner]

Don’t do this to me

[professional-chaotic-dumbass]

my brother in christ you made the post

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

[tik-tok-ify-the-tumblbeast]

[wrenchinator-central]

Chocolate guy has learned how to make corrugated cardboard. he is a powerful eldritch being who cannot be contained. The only reason we seem to be alive is because his interests are exclusively in the making of delicious lifelike desserts.

[bunjywunjy]

PACKING TAPE?? fucking PACKING TAPE??

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[everythingfox]

Love the picture on the wall

[ashstfu]

[coolhiroaki]

sick of “scottish independence” this and “irish reunification” that

theres 3 of us and 1 of england

i say we just kick the english out the uk

[systlin]

Ireland, Scotland, and Wales kick England out and join the UK as the United Celtic Nations.

[king-ghidorah]

We can do this folks we can even steal some of france

[osheamobile]

Reasons why the Benoit Blanc movies work so well

They are about women of color with everyday jobs (nurse, teacher)

These women are treated terribly by rich assholes in completely pedestrian and everyday ways that women of color with everyday jobs are treated in real life

These women get extremely cathartic justice in the end

The movie does not star Benoit Blanc, he is merely the driving vehicle for the mystery

He is barely a character, he is a plot device.

All we learn about Benoit Blanc in the first movie is:

He is a famous detective

He was so famous he was on magazines

Literally everyone knows who he is because of previous mysteries he has solved

These previous mysteries are not explained or even given any details, all we know is that they happened and he got famous for them

He has a kind heart

He has a Southern accent that continually shifts back and forth across the Delta

This is neither explained nor commented on

All we learn about Benoit Blanc in the second movie is:

He lives with a partner (marital status unknown) who is

A: British

B: Done with his shit

C: Trying to learn how to make sourdough starter in the pandemic

He plays Among Us with celebrities

He is very bad at mystery games such as Among Us and Clue

That’s it. That’s all we learn about him.

This is fantastic because these new details provide zero additional context to the unexplained force of nature that is Benoit Blanc, he just strolls into someone else’s movie, tells them they are good people, and gives them closure against rich assholes.

It is not Benoit Blanc’s movie. It is a movie with Benoit Blanc in.

The movies are mysteries with lots of twists and turns but they never make the audience feel stupid. This is because

All of the twists are foreshadowed by scenery details, camera angles, and other things deliberately left in the shot.

This rewards both the keen-eyed and the additional rewatchers

All of these twists are extremely well hidden on the first viewing

This rewards those who enjoy trying to work it out and enjoying them as they come

The correct reaction to guessing twists before they happen is that they were very well foreshadowed, not that the writers weren’t good enough at tricking the viewers, like some writers who put in twists that are completely out of left field and unsupported by the previous text because they don’t want their audience to guess.

Ben Shapiro didn’t understand the second one, which is just a nice bonus.

The fucking. Cameos. Are delightful, not hackneyed.

The fucking cinnamon tography.

Every camera angle is a masterpiece. Every still frame is a painting.

[tlirsgender]

Objectively worse plan than increasing public transport and slowly phasing out cars: outlaw cars and bring back horses while we wait for the infrastructure to unfuck itself. This takes horses back from being a Rich People Thing because now they're a necessity again and will have no downsides

[tlirsgender]

Parking garages are stables now

[femmeharlequin-deactivated20240]

Do you think they could convert a car wash to be for horses

[tlirsgender]

Yes. Also gas stations. Those are horse stops now

[marlinspirkhall]

Benefits include:

1) horse shit= biofuel

2) lower carbon footprint

3) horse

[tlirsgender]

Exactly. This will not cause any horse-related problems

[tlirsgender]

To everyone saying this would be "horrifically impractical": nuh-uh

[headspace-hotel]

in lexington kentucky they should have horse carriages for public transport it would be like a tourist thing

[zombiiehorse-deactivated2024032]

Working in a custoner service job is an incredibly easy way to get dehumanized to other people btw.

[zombiiehorse-deactivated2024032]

This isn't meant to be a haha funny relatably upset post fyi. Like this is just straight up something I'm saying. People do not treat customer service employees like humans as much as they should. I've had a man hit me in the back with a bag of scented pinecones to get my attention to tell me he found them when I said I didn't know if they were sold out since I hadn't been at work in a week, that man months later was complaining about me to a coworker, he recognized me half a year later despite having completely changed my look and brought it up like it was funny. I've had a woman tell me to my face that I was useless because I didn't have an easy solution to finding a price on something before demanding i lift the giant, heavy tent into her cart for her despite being half her size, and she didn't even buy it. I've had people ask me to open a product that I am not allowed to open, only to do it right in front of me when I say its not allowed. I've had people laugh at me when I said I was the one who was assisting them with something and scream at me when I said I couldn't assist with something. I've had to uncomfortably chuckle along when someone makes a joke about how I should know everything in the store because I didn't know if they were genuinely just joking or not. People just shove past or into me, or keep pushing their cart at me when I dont even notice them, because they expect me to move. The most fucked up part? These people are always completely polite to me when I'm just another customer in the store. I've had someone who told me I should just quit my job while on the clock later politely say excuse me and talk about the weather when I was simply buying chips out of uniform. In the same god damn day. The list goes on and on and on. The fact is that even if you don't personally dehumanize a customer service employee, so many people DO.

[zombiiehorse-deactivated2024032]

This is ok to reblog btw, if you want to tell your own stories of experiences in a job like that go ahead. Just know that I'm sincerely sorry you had to or still have to deal with that stuff and you are so awesome for making it through that man

[himbodiaz]

would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?

[hmslusitania]

I’m sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groom’s name was Loren and the bride’s name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all “introducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wife” and the entire assembled lost it

[tevankinkley]

also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called them “Dom and Dommer” which is honestly the funniest shit ever

[aprilthebiqueen]

Here’s a reminder that struggling with a disability, disorder or condition doesn’t negatively impact your worth. Yes, this applies even if you can’t be independent and require help.

You are worthy, regardless of what you can and cannot do. Your abilities may fluctuate, but your worth never will.