[brucebocchi]

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[fursonas]

"sorry for party rocking" I don't think you are. I think you're sorry you got caught

[tittled]

grandma ate my fucking pizza

[sivavakkiyar]

make neccessary corrections

[lakevida]

she's sooo fucking mad that we stop her from running into the garage to huff sawdust and poisons

[dogpuppy]

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[vedurnan]

6th grade math problem:

Words were exchanged between friends – the house of human companionship was established in secret – eons passed – eons passed – eons passed – eons passed

A) The house was diminished!

B) The house was strengthened!

C) The house was swept away!

D) The house was swept away!

[elexecution]

there is so much to learn about everything

[il9vemyputer]

everyone on replies is terrified of this fact but i just think it's so sweet and heartwarming. she's holding our hand and leading us somewhere secret and we're both giggling like kids. i love her

[rimonoroni2]

first cryptid you ever run into as a little kid is called Best Friends Older Brother

[konoko]

[akashicrecord]

You have turned this glory hole into a hole of dishonor and you must leave immediately

[maykitz]

[birdbigbutch]

you stole dog blood

[vhs-dvd-comboplayer]

[calware]

i really love this genre of image

[lunarthesugarglider]

[villaqueen]

The best part of that video is that the owner found the ORIGINAL plush later on the beach and took another video with it after their grandmother stitched it back up

[i-am-a-lonely-nerd]

I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.

[bonesbeetle]

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

[miquellakind]

crack the egg of sympathy and make the omelette of compassion