What the Hell Are They Wearing?

Their clothes say that only God can judge them, and yet here we are

[boybandfashions]

Surprise bitches bet you thought you’d seen the last of us.

We’re alive and well at the Jonas Brothers concert. Though, Stephanie did have to rise Lazarus-like from her deathbed to be here.

If you’re at this concert we’d love to NOT hear from you. Stay in your lanes.

— Saddy

[boybandfashions]

WAIT DR. PHIL’S ADULT SON IS OPENING FOR THEM? WHAT’S HAPPENING

[boybandfashions]

Everyone needs to stop hating on the Jonas Brothers

Nick is COMPASSIONATE

Joe is QUIRKY

Kevin

Frankie is INDEPENDENT

[boybandfashions]

Surprise bitches bet you thought you’d seen the last of us.

We’re alive and well at the Jonas Brothers concert. Though, Stephanie did have to rise Lazarus-like from her deathbed to be here.

If you’re at this concert we’d love to NOT hear from you. Stay in your lanes.

— Saddy

[boybandfashions]

WAIT DR. PHIL’S ADULT SON IS OPENING FOR THEM? WHAT’S HAPPENING

[boybandfashions]

Surprise bitches bet you thought you’d seen the last of us.

We’re alive and well at the Jonas Brothers concert. Though, Stephanie did have to rise Lazarus-like from her deathbed to be here.

If you’re at this concert we’d love to NOT hear from you. Stay in your lanes.

— Saddy

[boybandfashions]

Overwhelming proof of what we already knew: Tumblr is run by vindictive 5SOS fans

[louistomliinson-deactivated2017]

Reblog if you've never heard of One Direction

[boybandfashions]

We absolutely (and obviously) do still check the messages that this blog gets. We may not be super active anymore, but we will always reply to messages! This is such a great message to get and I know that it made me smile to read it. Thank you for being a fan of this blog and thank you for such a kind message! Maddy and I always laugh to a point of tears when we go back through this blog, so it’s nice to know that other people do, too. - Stephanie

[boybandfashions]

Commentaries by yours truly

BREAKING: BOY BAND FASHIONS ADMINS ACTUALLY DELIVER ON THEIR PROMISES FOR ONCE

After a too-long saga all of our commentaries have been uploaded to this Google drive. Again, sorry for the extreme inconvenience involved in downloading them but this was literally our last option. And why would you not want to keep these Oscar™-winning* films on your computer for ever and ever?

—Maddy

*To our knowledge these commentaries have not actually won an Oscar

[boybandfashions]

Much like the US Constitution, this folder is a living document and will continue to be updated until Donald Trump’s mind-boggling fuckery leads it to an early grave.

Please see this post for more details.

[boybandfashions]

I promise I haven’t forgotten about this. All the commentaries are coming!!!

[boybandfashions]

Much like the US Constitution, this folder is a living document and will continue to be updated until Donald Trump’s mind-boggling fuckery leads it to an early grave.

Please see this post for more details.

[boybandfashions]

COMMENTARIES LINK

Buckle up. Grab some popcorn. Call a baby sitter. This is a long post.

Hey, everyone! We’re so sorry the commentaries suddenly disappeared! Our Vimeo account got suddenly shut down, which I’m choosing to blame on George Shelly and you should too. I tried to upload the videos directly to Tumblr but it was taking too fucking long. Seriously. Seasons were changing. 

Right now I’m in the process of uploading the videos into a Google Drive folder. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to play them from there, but there’s a download option, which does work. I know this is extremely inconvenient and it sucks so please send all anon hate to the US government, which apparently thinks copyright law is important or something. Whatever. 

Uploading is a slow process and we have almost 50 commentaries in total so it’s pretty slow-going. Also, I’m moving out of the goddamn country, which is a major time suck for me, so all the videos won’t be up immediately, but they’ll all be there eventually (probably in the next few weeks). 

The good news is that there are commentaries available right now!!! Just follow the link at the bottom of this post and you can access the folder and watch whatever’s available. (I’ll also share the link in a separate post) Again, I’m so sorry this is so incredibly inconvenient but this blog runs on inconvenience and disappointment so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Finally, if you have any ideas involving where to upload these videos, please share! I’m frustrated and on the verge of uploading them to PornHub.

Commentaries Folder

— Maddy

[boybandfashions]

We're kinda almost back again sort of

Maddy will be uploading our video commentaries directly to the blog for everyone's viewing pleasure!

- Stephanie

[boybandfashions]

I'm enjoying Canada with my family this week!

[boybandfashions]

Hi there, Anon! Unfortunately for us, there were copyright issues with the videos so they were deleted. But, I’m like 99% sure that Maddy still has them saved on her laptop so we might be able to upload them directly to this blog. And of course there’s a possibility that we may be able to do more commentaries! I mean, Zayn has some music videos and Harry should have some out soon.

- Stephanie

[boybandfashions]

Really, Harry? Really?

- Stephanie

PS: I can’t wait for your album to come out I’m fucking pumped

[boybandfashions]

I just watched Harry sing Sign of the Times on SNL and I fucking loved it no joke and I'm so into this suit he fucking killed it. Also there was a thunderstorm during the performance it was so #aesthetic. - Stephanie

[boybandfashions]

Okay, this is a joke, right? Like, Ashton Kutcher is gonna pop up any second and tell me that I’m on an episode of Punk’d? No way is this real. I decide to return to this blog and this is my thanks? This picture?

Gordon. Gordie. Gordo. You’re killing me. I know that under your hoodie (thanks for dressing up, by the way) is a camo t-shirt. And that’s already awful. But, here’s the issue. The way that your t-shirt is sticking out from under your hoodie makes it seem like you’ve got on camo short shorts over your black skinny jeans (seriously, thanks for dressing up).

Also, the beanie? Really? Look, I don’t actually know where you’re at, but obviously it’s a place where I’d expect you to dress up. I mean, considering the fact that this looks like a professional photo that was taken at some sort of event, one would think that you’d want to be dressed up. You look homeless, Gordo. That’s the point I’m getting at. You look homeless.

And for anyone wondering, this is what the text on the hoodie is:

I wish I could, my man. I really wish I could.

- Stephanie

[boybandfashions]

The 1D fandom’s dedication to cropping fans out of photos never ceases to amaze me. Let her live.

Anyway, Harry:

Just...what the fuck?

I know you’re at an airport and everyone deserves to be comfortable while traveling, but let’s not get crazy. Let’s start with the hair. You’ve cut it since I’ve reviewed you last, which is a blessing straight from JT himself. HOWEVER, that does not mean you and your mop are automatically in my good graces. There’s some basic hair maintenance to observe here. First and foremost, have your assistant or mom or whoever the fuck you send to CVS on your behalf to buy you a goddamn hairbrush. It will change your life, I promise. You might even find all the sunglasses and headscarves that have been sucked into there over the years.

This next thing is extremely upsetting to me. Do you remember, Harry, when you were like 3 and One Direction was first starting out? Do you remember that thing you and your little friends did? That thing that haunts my dreams to this very day? No? Let me remind you.

DOES THIS RING A BELL?!?!?!?

Harry, there’s really no fucking reason to have your hoodie strings tied here. None at all. They’re not even cinching the hood. They’re not doing anything but annoying me. Untie the strings, bud, and maybe we can talk. Why do you even have your hood up, anyway? You’re in an airport. I’m 110% sure that you’re not going to get rained on. Though it seems sunny, based on your choice of headwear. What’s the fucking weather?

Anyway, I like your scarf and coat, though the lining of the coat looks dangerously like denim. So nice work there. (Side note: Harry, if you need a ghostwriter for your autobiography, “Dangerously Denim”, hit me up. I need a job.)

Finally, 

THIS IS A CALL OUT POST FOR JOHN F. KENNEDY INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

Look at that shit. 

This blog has seen a bunch of fucked up shit, but bad grammar usually isn’t included. How hard is it to put an apostrophe there? The world is already a bad enough place, no need to make it worse. 

tl;dr: Haircut/scarf good, hood/unbrushed hair bad, grammar atrocious

— Maddy