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From The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 5: 1947-1955
Woman Reading by Candlelight (detail) by Peter Ilsted
“two ghosts are making love in the gender neutral bathroom of a gay bar atop a throne lined with toilet paper and grime. a cacophony of limbs so beautiful, the concrete walls shudder with envy. you’ve learned all the names for this: a spectacle, a revolution, a disgrace, but you never learned to be- hold what you see before you. two ghosts heaving their aliveness against the fractured light, gasping all the good air into their profane lungs, sweat stippling brown throats. breathtaking as a forest fire. queer as an unmarked grave.”
— Ally Ang, “More Americans Believe They’ve Seen a Ghost Than a Trans Person,” published in Five South
written by kaveh akbar
Crazy how we are everything that has happened to us but then you meet someone and you don’t see everything that has happened to them you just see them. And you both try to explain everything that has happened to you but your words and memories are so biased and oversimplified.
Not now mommy’s underlining her quotes
When you become 20 something, you have to forgive yourself or you will never grow up. You have to forgive yourself for everything and learn from it.
Marguerite Duras, Hiroshima Mon Amour (tr. by Richard Seaver), 1959
I think, therefore I am (exhausted)
rmbr when richard siken said “love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. it’s like a religion. it’s terrifying”
being in your 20s is like: i’m so young i’m so old. i should do everything i should rest. i can do what i want but i need to be careful. i’m an Adult™ but i need help from an Adult™. i’m so smart i’m so stupid. i’m leaving i feel left behind. i want to be a kid again and i can’t wait to be old. i’ve done a lot i’ve done nothing. i wanna be alone but i’m so lonely. like.... what the hell ??
forgot to add: i wanna have fun i need to be more serious. i need to achieve goals i need to enjoy life. i understand completely but what the hell is going on. i want to love i want to be independent. i don't care but i haven't stopped thinking about it. live laugh love die cry hate
when the sun comes up in the morning, consider your heart new and repaired. consider the rest of the day a blank page. meet the world with the thought of something good in mind.
“There are things I’d rather whisper and never quite say out loud.”
— Virginia Woolf in a diary entry dated 20 July 1938
sözel meslekleri
dreaming of doing chores in my personal little village
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