no more spoons, only knives

Emily. She/her. 25. bpd, dpd, schizoaffective, anxiety, fibromyalgia, GERD, MCAS, EDNOS, IBS, POTS, cfs/me. in recovery

[ripe]

cozymood_ on ig

[thethiefandtheairbender]

The Good Place (2016-2020)

[insomniac-arrest]

brah

[postilionstruckbylightning]

The Good Place’s take on morality is so important to me. It never suggests that being good is easy or straightforward - quite the opposite - but it says, over and over again, that we need to try because we’re all people and we all matter.

[gifdrome]

[sunflower-cane]

I hate when people tell me to feel blessed for being born in america i hate when im obligated to be patriotic like this country is literally trying to kill people like me and i have to jump through hoops just trying to get people to believe im deserving of living.

[naturaekos]

[hope4gem]

Today I will rest as much as I need to and that's ok.

[hope4gem]

You were enough yesterday.

You are enough today.

You will be enough tomorrow.

[recoversuggestions]

destroy the disorder, not yourself

[xenosagaepisodeone]

highschool teen romance film

good christian girl: *is paired with withdrawn goth boy for assignment* ugh i hope i stay on this trouble maker’s good side :(

good christain girl: *spots a book poking out of withdrawn goth boy’s bag* hey what’s that?

withdrawn goth boy: *pulls out copy of romeo and juliet* oh yeah just some light reading i usually do in lunch.

good christian girl: you…….like Shakespeare?

withdrawn goth boy: [quotes some of the wherefore art thou romeo scene without looking at the book]

good christian girl: that’s incredible!

withdrawn goth boy: yeah, i’ve always felt i’ve had a connection to romeo- as well as the protagonist of [another 9-11th grade mandatory reading book]

good christian girl: yeah *slightly flustered* same here….

bell rings

good christian girl’s friend: Kelsey-Anne Sue come on!! were going home!

good christian girl: be there soon guys! *looks back at withdrawn goth boy* see you around then, i guess :)

withdrawn goth boy: *cracks a shy smile* y-yeah. see you around

good christain girl: *coughs slightly, indicating that her mysterious disease may be returning*

[capgras-and-cotards-blog]

How I Use DBT's Opposite Action for Paranoia

Disclaimer: I have done years of DBT to get to where I am, where I can even do this with regular emotions. This is meant as an idea to practice when possible, which may be rare for you depending on severity of your symptoms and the situation at hand.

We all know paranoia is a bear to deal with. Using Opposite Action (OA) helps me to behave more normally so that I can maintain relationships and avoid reinforcing the paranoia while delusional.

Some months ago, prior to being diagnosed and treated, I was convinced I am actually a fake person and someone was pursuing me because I had figured it out. This meant everything was dangerous--food, my antidepressants, anything could be poisoned or set to destroy me somehow.

The basic premise of OA says, act oppositely so as to not reinforce the feeling. This means being kind when angry, and pushing yourself to be active when sad. Applied to paranoia, it means facing the fear head on.

Something very helpful to me was logging every time I used OA, so I could see I'd been poisoned zero out of X times I used it. This helped me use it more over time.

My fear of poisoned food was a serious social hindrance (not to mention physically dangerous) and to use OA, I had to mindfully accept that I could die. This was, of course, terrifying. Every dinner with family, every time I took my meds, I was just waiting to drop dead for the sake of not reinforcing this emotion. Again, logging it helped me feel more confident in the risk I was taking.

So why do it? Well, to be around loved ones. My support system. Food has always been the center of our gatherings, and I needed to be able to participate. I needed reason to carry on, things to live for, something to look forward to. I needed my meds.

It's harder than just using OA for typical emotions, because the stakes feel so much higher. But this has been key in my ability to function through delusional states. It helps me doubt myself, even if just a little bit. I get support and love. I don't starve. OA has been the greatest skill I've used in that kind of condition.

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[quidditygenesis]

Gonna try it. Need me some good luck.

[holographography]

idk who needs to hear this but “depressing quotes” blogs and stuff like this may express how you’re feeling but seeing a constant stream of negativity and romanticised sadness is only going to make you feel worse. Even if you only unfollow one blog and follow a puppy blog instead, you’ll feel a little better

[resiliencewithin]

There is a fine line between acknowledging and accepting your feelings, and dwelling and living in them.

[capgras-and-cotards-blog]

Valid vs. Justified

Something I struggled with a lot before DBT was differentiating (or even knowing there was a difference!) between an emotion being valid and an emotion being justified.

All emotions are valid: you are allowed to feel how you feel in response to things in your life. Nobody can tell you your feelings are incorrect.

Not all emotions are JUSTIFIED, or they're justified but their intensity is not. For example, someone forgets to acknowledge you and it hurts. You can validate yourself and also at the same time recognize that no, being at 90/100 on the rejected/hurt scale is not justified in this interaction. You can then decide on your response accordingly.

This is part of the dialectic. Two seemingly opposite facts can be true at the same time.

I think I've gotten better at checking my own emotional responses, but they still get the better of me sometimes, particularly guilt and shame.

Taking a second to run through this thought process has often made a huge difference for me, allowing me to respond rather than mindlessly react.

[salty-inc]

Hot take: Saying “I have no friends” around friends who actually care about you is hella harmful and you don’t have the right to be mad when they leave you because they don’t feel appreciated or loved.

[innsjovide]

Unpopular opinion: your mental illness is not an excuse to be a dick to people

[bpd--daisy-blog]

Actually an extremely popular opinion! I see it constantly on this website every day! An unpopular opinion would be “someone else’s mental illness is not an excuse to be a dick to them”

[withdrawnsuggestion]

mental illness is not an excuse to abuse and manipulate people.

[bpd--daisy-blog]

Someone having a mental illness is not an excuse to abuse and manipulate them.

[distinguishedbaloney]