Things I Cant Tell Anyone

Just a hopeless romantic BPD girl stuck in limerance and never ending sadness.My thoughts and feelings unfiltered and unhinged. Cinnamon girl loves fools gold. Wykyk Ifykyk.

[bpdgirl7]

I miss you so much I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t eat. It’s never been this hard… please come back to me

[bpdgirl7]

Discarded but still here. Waiting but not pausing my life for you. I will always love and want you.

[bpdgirl7]

Loving an avoidant is torture. They pull you in and then push you away. When it becomes too much they discard you like you meant nothing to them.

[bpdgirl7]

You’re full of lies and poison.

[bpdgirl7]

You broke my heart and I’m not surprised. You’re closed off and only open on substances. When you’re sober you toss me to the side.

[bpdgirl7]

I wish I didn’t flinch when you touch me. I wish I didn’t jump when you walk behind me.

I wish I came with less baggage and less scars.

[bpdgirl7]

I miss you so much I feel physically sick.

[bpdgirl7]

I’m too much too fast but that’s how I am. I refuse to mute my love because that’s part of who I am. I cannot change who I am to be with someone. I cannot keep abandoning myself to try to make people stay.

Opened up to you and now I look stupid. I wanted to proudly love you for everyone to see and hear. But that’s too loud for you. No PDA because it’s corny, only love me when we’re alone and ghost me for days. What chunk of my heart I had left that was rebuilt is gone. You cannot say things of such serious extents, change your mind, and not expect a reaction.

I am too much for you because you’re scared. Scared of hurting me. But I will still love you and forgive you. I belong to you for the rest of my life.

[bpdgirl7]

To feel so safe in someone’s presence they heal your nervous system everytime they’re near.

I had that with you but I became too much too fast. But how can I help it when you look at me with nothing but love and awestruck. Like I’m the most beautiful thing you’ve seen. Soaking up every inch of my face with your eyes, lips, and hands. Every touch felt gentle yet intentional. Slowly taking the time to know my body. Being touched my someone else makes me repulsed. I’ve never in my life felt sick from being away from someone.

When you know you know. And I knew when I was crying in front of you because I felt safe for the first time in my life. A place where I could exhale and not perform. A place of security and rest. Knowing you have my back no matter what.

But this pace is too fast, you’re not ready but telling me you can’t leave me alone says otherwise. The way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way you bring my body peace and safety. You’ve given me what money cannot buy. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.

I will love you until my last breath. I’ve accepted waiting since I plan on being with you forever. So lover of mine take all your time. I can’t have another access me the same.

[bpdgirl7]

I’m tired of making myself smaller to be loved.

[bpdgirl7]

I just want to be loved in the same way I love others.

[bpdgirl7]

I feel safe and secure with you. Is this real?

[bpdgirl7]

I’m the type of person who would change everything about myself to be what they want because I want them.

[bpdgirl7]

I’d do anything to feel worthy of being loved. I’m destroying myself for the love of others.

[bpdgirl7]

You left and now the house feels emptier. My hear feels as if there’s a gaping hole in it.

[bpdgirl7]

So tired of being an afterthought.

[bpdgirl7]

Screaming for help behind a smiling facade.