self dx is valid

this is mostly a vent blog but if u relate to it that’s cool!!

[bpdpal]

my life fell apart and i would rather just die instead of rebuilding it

[bpdpal]

it was never my family, my friends, the city i lived in or my job. it’s me. i’m the problem.

[andhetakesandhetakesandhetakes]

Ugly, Bitter, and True by Suzanne Rivecca

[pigmenting]

sometimes you just gotta give yourself permission to accept that you deserve good things in life. you deserve to feel good about how you look. you deserve the attention your partner gives you. you deserve the praise for that thing you’ve worked really hard on. you deserve the people checking in on you and caring for you. you deserve all of it.

[bpdpal]

in my rational brain: i am very close to something great happening!! i’m excited about the near future!!!

in my Horrible Brain: something bad is going to prevent this good thing from happening and now you will obsess over the sense of looming dread so u can’t just be excited isn’t that great!?

[bpdpal]

ok so seems like a decent amount of ppl relate and my therapist told me how to deal w these feelings if anyone’s interested

1. identify exactly what you think will go wrong. are these things even plausible?

2. if they are, what action can you take to keep them from happening?

3. if they aren’t, (they usually aren’t) realize that and relax. allow yourself to be excited. if you keep obsessing YOU will be the bad thing it’s called a self fulfilling prophecy and your own anxiety will fuck things up

[twitblr]

[bpdpal]

in my rational brain: i am very close to something great happening!! i’m excited about the near future!!!

in my Horrible Brain: something bad is going to prevent this good thing from happening and now you will obsess over the sense of looming dread so u can’t just be excited isn’t that great!?

[beautifullyborderlinepd]

*has a moment of emotional turmoil*

*posts on the internet*

*gets validation from others who have felt the same way*

*feels better*

[bpdpal]

i’ve only been posting here when things are bad but ya know what? things are good! and my “things are good” posts don’t get as much attention as my “i’m This close to suicide here’s a joke abt it” but if u need some encouragement today just know

the bad things will pass. manage your expectations but stay hopeful my dudes. vent when you need to but get y’all some Positive Mindset TM whenever u can

[bpdpal]

i know shit’s been bad when i don’t even have the energy to post here anymore but i’m like.. doing ok rn just woried this rona shit is gonna fuck up my ability to graduate college and if i don’t get to leave and start my life this may im gonna be Not Okay

[bpdpal]

i’m so completely serious about killing myself and no one in my life has the capacity to deal with it. i don’t blame them but damn. where’s the knife?

[bpdpal]

*insert audio of me sobbing for 20hrs*

[anxietyproblem]

[sadgirlstudies]

Please read/reblog!

Hi everyone!

Long story short, I was supposed to be able to register for my Spring 2020 classes this week. However, as you can see in the picture, I owe $761 in tuition. I will be unable to register for classes until this tuition is paid.

One problem with this is that I was unaware that I owed this amount until mid-September. This summer, I took two online classes. I didn’t have to worry about the cost at the time because financial aid covered it. In September, the university informed me that I had only been charged for one class and they now need the payment for the other class.

Paying this tuition would not have been a problem if I had been informed of the mistake earlier, as I could’ve saved up the money before November. This semester, I am having financial troubles because although I have a job, I also have a required unpaid internship that takes up a lot of my time, while also having to pay rent, make car and phone payments, and factoring in other necessities like gas and groceries, I am unable to work enough hours to make the extra money to pay $761. I do not even have the money for rent this month.

As school is important to me, it would mean a lot and relieve so much stress if anyone could help out by donating to my paypal, cashapp, or venmo!

Even if you can not donate, a reblog will help spread the word!

Cashapp: $brianna1x

Venmo: briannanicole6x

Paypal: paypal.me/brianna1x

You can also DM me for my apple pay!

$15.00/761 raised

Thank you so much everyone, please spread the word!

[bpdpal]

i love adding body dysmorphia to laundry list of Fucked Up Things My Brain Does To Me

[bpdpal]

i’m really worried my happiness is becoming too dependent on my new boyfriend like what happens when he inevitably breaks my heart? am i gonna be able to survive that?

[bpdpal]

the deeper i fall in love w this kid the more mounting anxiety i have every day i hate that i can’t just enjoy this w/o the paranoia

[bpdpal]

updaaaate we’ve been together officially for 8 months now and everything has been so wonderful i’ve had no real need for this blog anymore but lately i feel like i’m over analyzing and picking fights and getting irritated and idk if i’m just self sabotaging or he is starting to annoy me the only thing i know is if he leaves me bc of my recent behavior i will probably won’t be able to continue w life afterwords :-)

[intensional]