Me: *asks for advice*
Them: *gives advice*
Also me: DON’T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!! 😡😡🤬🤬
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@beautifullyborderlinepd
Me: *asks for advice*
Them: *gives advice*
Also me: DON’T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!! 😡😡🤬🤬
When you spend your whole life being invalidated by everyone around you...
Being told: “calm down”, “it ain’t that bad”, “you’re overreacting”, “settle down”, “why you stressin?” etc etc etc
You begin to believe that your emotions don’t really matter. That what you feel must not be correct. — Whenever you feel anything, no matter how tiny, you second guess yourself. — You’ve been told that your emotions are broken, day in and day out — so, you then learn how to turn them off! Shut them down! Disconnect! — The professionals call it dissociate. — You live on autopilot. You’re a robot now. — You’ve been programmed to behave how everyone around you has always told you you should. The problem being that now whenever a true “self-felt” emotion does sneak through your facade; it come with such force that the prior way you felt before you were programmed to act like ‘they’ all said you should; is put to shame! — Your emotions erupt with a vengeance and without any sense of structure. — One little feeling paves the way for a volcano of emotional madness!!
And once you’re able to finally collect your rampant childlike feels and stuff them all back inside where they have always been told they should hide.... You feel enormous amounts of shame, guilt and embarrassment... because once again the world can see that you’re emotionally inept and the incessant neuro-typical maddening remarks begin once more. — “What the hell is wrong with you?”, “Why must you act this way?”, “Just calm the FUCK down!” — Yet, you can’t. Because you’re, broken. At least that’s what they have been drilling into you all of your life with their maddening remarks.
If only we could be loved for the craziness, and excessive nature that we are all forced to hide?! What if they told us that it’s ok to feel the way we feel because we deserve that sort of validation and love? What if they cared enough to look past the madness and into our souls? Where they could see all the pain that we hold? Pain and agony and hatred for self because even when we’re being good little robots we still know that the emotional madness is still deep inside and just waiting... waiting, to erupt! — And we feel the bone-crushing guilt before the lava even begins to flow. — Hatred for who we are festers deep inside and it eventually seeps out as angry snaps or even outbursts toward those around us because part of us knows that this self hate that we hold is misplaced onto us, by us... The anger is really meant for those who have created this thing, this thing that we have become over time.
Invalidation has created what I am. And only validation and love can help me to heal. Do you hear me?! Only validation and love can heal my broken soul!! —
I must embrace my nature and let myself feel. If they will not validate me... I shall and I MUST validate myself. I am no longer your emotionally suppressed robot... I am me. And I AM BEAUTIFULLY BORDERLINE!
@beautifullyborderlinepd
May is Mental Health Awareness Month! 💕
#NoStigma #NoShame
Me: *watching kids play in the park out of my friend’s apartment window*
Kids: *laughing and screaming and having loads of fun*
Me: aww... to be a child... full of love and joy! i remem-
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: NVM. false memory. children sure are fkn annoying.
Me: *yells out window* quiet down out there!!
Just throwing some positivity out there for those needing a reminder to: “Love Yourself!”
*has a moment of emotional turmoil*
*posts on the internet*
*gets validation from others who have felt the same way*
*feels better*
Me: Lately my emotions feel really shitty, I’m so fkn lonely, and I feel uncared for and worthless!
Bpd: RaGeEeEEe at EVERYONE! That’ll fix it!!!!
Me: How tf is tha...
Bpd: Just RaGggGeEeEEeeee! DO IT NOW!
Me: But... ??
Bpd: You know you’ll feel better...! *smirks*
Me: *RaGeEeEEeSSssSsS* *Destroys property, lifelong friendships, and becomes a COMPLETE FUCKING CUNT*
Me: *after calming down* Well, now everything is even more fucked up than it was before. *sigh*
Bpd: Lol... SuCkErRrrR!!
*has a moment of emotional turmoil*
*posts on the internet*
*gets validation from others who have felt the same way*
*feels better*
Me: *wakes up* Today is going to be good day!
Bpd: 😏
Me: ...
Bpd: ...
Me: Oh c’mon! Let me have ONE day!
Bpd: 😂
Me: ...
Bpd: Remember that one thing you did 20 years ago...
Bpd: Everyone hates you still 😂
Me: *goes back to bed*