me: ive been rly good w my recovery and things have been good!
symptom: .. so-
me, screaming and beating it with a stick: NO! BACK!!
d e v o n

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@bpdslime-blog1
me: ive been rly good w my recovery and things have been good!
symptom: .. so-
me, screaming and beating it with a stick: NO! BACK!!
me, looking back on things i said during an episode: who the fuck,, bitch chill
uh so like .. i ended up going to psych and was in there for a while ...... and like it wasnt great but it actually wasnt the worst?? my entire mindset just like .. changed bc i had nothing to do but think about everything and like, i think im actually in recovery now? its fucking crazy like i never thought id ever be at this point? ever? but like .. im getting better and i want to get better. i want to have a healthy life and healthy relationships and im actually working towards that now when it felt impossible before .. idk im just like rly thankful i was even able to get to this point at all
my therapist: how has the past week been for you?
me: idk i don't remember
I'm going to ruin everything and live in the destruction and maybe then my world will be peaceful
god this is .. so relatable i feel you so hard .......
stop looking on my bpd blog !! my vent blog is for me !! it is specifically to say the terrible things i dont mean so i dont say them to peoples faces and hurt them !! looking at this blog against my wishes knowing youre doing so is not okay !! if you see something that upsets you it is your own fault bc you know you shouldnt be here in the first place !! this blog exists specifically for me to get out the terrible intrusive thoughts that i DO NOT MEAN so that i dont voice them and upset others !!! its your fucking fault if you go behind my back and look here !!!!!!! stop blaming me for fucking trying to be good !!!!!!!!!
do you ever just wish somebody would violently beat the living fuck out of you
some random person: why do you love personality tests so much?
my borderline ass, laughing nervously: uhh....
This isn't an advice thing I just want to complain but tomorrow is Valentine's Day and my fp is ignoring me and I love him and he hasn't said anything about it yet and I don't think he will even though we're basically dating and I am so sad but like filled with rage too?
aaaa im sorry nonnie :^( thats the worst, ik how holidays like these can make these sorts of symptoms even worse
i hope things improved today !!
who else has the emotional permanence of a toaster raise your hand
*responds to all perceived conflict with immediate anger* ICONIC
i shouldn’t have // 1.23.2017
For the questions, #8, #13, and #28! :)
8: Do you have any other diagnoses? Which ones?
yes! i have depression, adhd, and recently me and my therapist have been discussing the possibility of me having aspergers
13: Are you a perfectionist?
not really, but i can be in some aspects! if theres something i like done a certain way i will stick to that, but most of the time i just kind of do what i need to
28: Do you consider yourself high-functioning or low-functioning?
aa im not sure? in between i guess bc im able to go to work and stuff but like, i often have to call off and my schoolwork is super fucked and behind
i want to go for a walk really bad but its the middle of the night and my alarm system makes a noise every time the door opens so my parents will hear and ugh i hate being trapped here
BPD Questions
1: Think of the last time you were really angry. Why was that?
2: Why did your last friendship end?
3: Do you self-harm? If yes, how?
4: Have you ever attempted suicide?
5: Have you ever written a suicide note?
6: How’s your love life?
7: Have you ever dissociated? If so, how often?
8: Do you have any other diagnoses? Which ones?
9: Do you get mood swings?
10: What kind of impulsive decisions have you made?
11: Is there anything you do that helps keep you grounded?
12: What’s your relationship with your family?
13: Are you a perfectionist?
14: Do you ever become obsessive?
15: Have you ever changed your opinions, depending on the people you are with?
16: Does your style (clothing, hair, etc.) change a lot?
17: What are five of your biggest fears?
18: Do you worry what people think of you?
19: What are some lyrics that describe what you’re going through right now?
20: How do you usually express yourself?
21: How many people know about your diagnosis?
22: What’s a random story from your childhood?
23: How do you think other people see you?
24: If you could pick one year of your life to give back and start over, which one would it be?
25: What’s one thing you wish non-borderlines could understand?
26: Name three fictional characters you relate to.
27: Do you have any bad habits?
28: Do you consider yourself high-functioning or low-functioning?
29: If your mind was a house, what would the house look like?
30: What is your “safe place” when you are upset? (This can also be a person.)
31: Post a picture of yourself and tell us your story.
@sadgalz666 honestly yeah i love them ?? theyre just being pretentious edgy goths tbh ,,
im so grateful for my fp.. it knows its my fp and it tries its best to be good and understanding and i love it so much ... yesterday i got upset bc i did something nice for its friend bc it wanted me to be nice but then it wouldnt praise me for it bc i apparently was supposed to be doing it anyways or whatever .. but like it realized i was upset and it called me and apologized and explained it thought we were joking and it called me good boy and said it loved me !! and then when it got home it skyped me and we even napped together on skype and we were on there for 5 hours and it made me so happy ...... im so lucky to have it i love it so much ......