naked.

love. laugh. mumu.

[bracken1x1-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ CASSLER

CASS: You're totally not upsetting me, I promise! You're one of my best friends and I want you to find love and happiness and all that junk.

CASS: Thanks!! I have a ton of great friends that all treat me well, yourself included, so I'll always have someone making me happy! You don't gotta worry about me.

CASS: I'm not sad or mad at all. Idk what I am, but I'll get over it! Who is it tho? If you don't mind me asking. I'm nosy. heheh. I need new gossip for Apple Jacks, she's getting bored with my conspiracy theories.

CHANDLER: Okay, good. Because we all know that when you cry, I cry and like, I'm not cool to start with so we hardly need me crying over my sandwich over here and lying about the pickles being just that good.

CHANDLER: You know Bea, right? We've kind of been hitting it off. And I don't know how Bea feels about the situation at all, but I really, really like her. A lot. So, once I get my big boy pants on, I guess I'll dip my toe into that potential water and see if I lose a toe or not.

[reclusiveundgrnd]

[bracken1x1-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ OPEN

CAILEAN: I'm sighing so hard at you right now

ELSPETH: That's a measure of success these days. I've got a pretty fly job, I haven't been arrested, I change my sheets semi-regularly... I don't see why you think you've failed when in reality you've raised a pretty amazing human being.

[jackson-falahee]

[bracken1x1-blog]

starboyz1x1:

Who knew that teaching and coordinating your coronation at the same time would be quite this complicated? Well, I suppose my mother did when she strongly urged me against becoming a teacher. Despite my hectic schedule and frequent teleportation these last few weeks, I have no regrets. Some minds are meant to shape younger minds, and I believe myself to possess one of those…minds. And I just said the word “minds” way too many times for my taste, so please, tell me a highlight of your week so I can cease the act of shouting into an oblivious void.

You truly are an inspiration. Here I am thinking my life is hectic because  have a clash of TV shows I’d like to watch and no space to record them. Meanwhile you’re basically running the universe and shaping the minds of today’s youth. I’m impressed. But, if you must have a tale of brilliant fortune? I found my favourite bottle of rioja blanco on sale yesterday and I had leftover Chinese take out in my fridge - which is always better than the first time around, isn’t it? Whoever said you can’t mix Spanish wine with Chinese cuisine (albeit fully Americanised because I’m more than a little basic thanks to my Pinterest obsession) is truly missing out big time, even slightly hungover Elliot approves just as much as more than tipsy Elliot. If only this good fortune could come in a wave that influenced my work life, because my team is truly struggling to find anything remotely publishable in the dark matter field.

[bracken1x1-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ TOPAL

OPAL: We do need to name her! I've been wracking my brain but I just can't find the perfect name. The only thing I can think to name her is Rose, which might get a bit confusing to the ACTUAL rosa's. Perhaps Petunia, though. I don't have any Petunia's. Though now that I mention it, I'd love to grow some.

OPAL: You value my opinion far too highly!

OPAL: You're right, I never win. I admit defeat already! Arguing with you just isn't my cup of tea.

TEDDY: Petunia might end up being quite a mouthful when calling her over? And I wouldn't want to limit your growing abilities. We'll think of something. Would it be way too ridiculous to buy a big book of baby names? That could cause quite the office rumour.

TEDDY: You're my best friend and the best person I know, of course I value it above anyone else's.

TEDDY: It's a good job neither of us are ridiculously argumentative isn't it? We've gone a decade without any serious arguments. I call that a success.

[bracken1x1-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ TOPAL

OPAL: Well, I have great news for you. You're already the best godfather a dog could ask for!

OPAL: That's foolish and you know it. You're very special to me, and there's no one quite like you.

OPAL: Good! Then I've been of some use after all.

TEDDY: You know I have a soft spot for dogs. I can't help it. But we need to name her stat so I can get one of those adorable collar tags with her name on.

TEDDY: As long as you think that, that's all that matters to me.

TEDDY: You're always useful, don't start on this. You know you'll never win.

[bracken1x1-blog]

pascal1x1:

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry,” Eliza gasped, as she bent down to pick up the books that the person she’d just knocked into had dropped. That was probably the most noise Eliza had ever made in a library. She didn’t think herself to be clumsy, but there they were, on the floor in a pile of healing tomes and whatever else the other person had been carrying. “Please, let me help you up. Are you injured?”

There was no doubting that Elliot was entirely clumsy. She was smart, brilliant, very unstereotypical for a dark matter physicist. But entirely unable to escape the grips of gravity on her slightly waywardly controlled body. With a soft squeak, Elliot pushed her hair back from her face before looking up to see the wall - or whatever else she’d managed to run into this time. Instantly she shook her head with a soft laugh.

“Nonsense! That wasn’t your fault, I was far too deep into my guilty pleasure - I do love a good murder mystery! But I really should wait until I’m not walking around in public spaces.” After brushing herself down, Elliot began separating all of the books and items belonging to either of them before shrugging a little and “I definitely won’t say no to a little helping hand. Especially since I’d be lying if I said I could get up gracefully from this position on my own. And no one wants to see me roll around awkwardly in this dress.”

[nancysdrevv]

[bracken1x1-blog]

My goodness! I never believed anyone could actually have near death experiences, but after my colleague nearly killed me with the physics lab’s laser this morning? It’s like I had one of those movie experiences. You know, seeing tiny little fire red hair me running on beaches with my family’s overweight old labrador and my terrible first serious relationship with a Bayesian inference theorist - I should have known at that first information that it wasn’t going anywhere... Anyway! The whole palava has got me two Starbuck’s fudge hot chocolates in (venti, too!) and I’m still not over it! Things could have been very different than the slightly frazzled collar on my lab coat.

[bracken1x1-blog]

starboyz1x1:

Hey hi hello, I heard you’re having some trouble with time and I might be of some assistance. They don’t call me Timelord for nothing! 

Oh my god, are you telling me I’m in the presence of the actual Doctor Who? Because consider me the number one fanboy right here, right now. Please take me into the Tardis and fix my lack of time dilemma!

[bracken1x1-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ TOPAL

OPAL: Adorable! But never forget that cuddles, love and training are far more beneficial than material objects.

OPAL: I could say the very same about you!

OPAL: Hmmm. Then I suppose I'm fresh out of ideas.

TEDDY: Do you honestly believe I'm not going to completely throw myself into being the best godfather to that adorable little thing?

TEDDY: There are many people like me out there, I'm nothing entirely special.

TEDDY: Eh, one day I'll use it as an excuse.

[bracken1x1-blog]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ OPEN

CAILEAN: I've failed as a parent.

ELSPETH: Nonsense, I'm still alive, STD free and baby free! You did a wonderful job.

[bracken1x1-blog]

pascal1x1:

Would you rather I put food in your mouth?

That’s different, and you know it. I’m the responsible adult here, and I should be able to make enough money to pay my rent. The Nordell clan is seven strong and only getting stronger– every time I see an abandoned puppy, I have to keep it. What if we watched one movie and then hit the town? Or, what if we went outside to watch a movie? There are so many things outside. Or we could stay inside and I’ll turn into a vase.

I don’t need any more food, you feed me practically 10 meals a day as is. I may be lucky enough to have a pretty decent metabolism, but it’ll catch up with me eventually.

It’s not different at all. You’re barely older than me, so don’t pull any of this schwachsinn on me. Just don’t struggle, okay? I mean it, if you need a little, I have savings and all you need to do is ask. Your bleeding heart for canines is really getting out of hand, Cai. I vote for the vase option so I can not leave my couch.

[bracken1x1-blog]

starboyz1x1:

Sure thing. I’ll do anything twice. 

Music to my internet hearing ears. Seventeen year old Felix thought he was a genius. Twenty two year old Felix is questioning that judgement after getting actually decent tattoos.

[ringo1x1-blog]

Y’all, I can’t even begin to explain how much I love the holiday season. Even though I haven’t slept in two days, my tree is officially up and decorated beautifully. This year’s tree topper is — drum roll, please — a rubber chicken! He’s dresses as Santa, of course, and he is very festive no matter what anyone says. I’ve also successfully hung mistletoe under every doorway in the McBean household so I will be getting approximately a billion smooches from my lovely wife a day. As always, I’m very available to come decorate anyone’s house as long as they don’t mind me waltzing in at 3am to do so. Payment, of course, is milk and cookies. If you don’t want my services because you’re a jerk, bah humbug and you’re a dick. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, ignore all of this, but leave your address for a purely coincidental gift card. 

[bracken1x1-blog]

I have a few questions from my observation.

a) Have you heard of the rubber chicken theorem? I’m forever flummoxed by the number of people who haven’t heard of it considering how useful it is, and you just reminded me of my (failed) new year’s resolution to spread the rubber chicken theorem word.

b) Are you and your lovely wife mutually obeying the mistletoe, or is it merely her job to observe you standing under the mistletoe and acting upon it? I have to say, either is a great idea to bring some fun into a long term relationship. I’ll have to pencil that one into my list of how to succeed at relationships book.

c) Tinsel or no tinsel? This is crucial information in my decision whether to allow you into my place to decorate or not. I make some excellent cookies, so payment is no problem - merely difference in tastes.

[bracken1x1-blog]

starboyz1x1:

What’s up, Phoenix? Graves is back in town for a couple weeks, so get excited. Need a tatt removed/rearranged? Want a new one for your collection? Want your sexy face to be on TV? Come on down to Inkcredible for the next two weeks and you’ll get some art from yours truly.

Question for a friend: Would you fix dick tattoos or nah?