love ♡

maybe this is all supposed to mean something bigger in the end

[bramble-lee]

"I didn't see it through until the end because I’m the kind of girl who commits,” I tell him angrily. “I saw it through until the end because I loved you. I hang my head. “I would’ve given anything for it to work.”

A Story a Day #115 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

breathe. it's okay. people make mistakes. people fail. it's embarrassing and humiliating and utterly defeating. but breathe. cheer yourself on for the tiny victories. take care of yourself as you would a child. be your own best friend. let your best friends help you. do the things that are difficult to the best of your abilities. remind yourself of the challenges you've been through before. every time you struggled, it was hard and aching and you thought it would never end but it did. now you're at a new hurdle, and things are unknown and scary but you'll get through this too. muddle through it. the universe is on your side.

A Story a Day #114 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

sometimes - honestly, oftentimes - i feel as though the world is crashing around me. i hate failure. i understand it teaches me lessons but i hate it. it makes me want to crawl inward and sink into the very depths of the earth. i know this is an overreaction. i know i have much to learn about life and that losing the battle does not mean losing the war. the problem is, i can't differentiate between what is the battle and what is the war. and as such, i want to win everything. but who can do that.

A Story a Day #113 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

when you are born, you are born not knowing anything. and slowly through experience and through others, you learn about... well, everything. but something i was never taught how to do, was how to love myself. how to take care of myself. how to respect myself. we are taught all the time to be careful with others but we are never taught how to be careful with ourselves. i was always breaking my back for others. clamping down my needs so that others could have their ways. swallowing back words that would cause discomfort for others. and finally, i stayed with the wrong people for so long. people who did not love me, take care of me, or respect me. i fell in love with so many people who did not love me, and i stayed because my heart was pure and cried out for them, like a child, when they were taken away from me. but today is different. today i am different. today i choose me. i am also a person. my mother would weep if she knew all these truths, and i want to live a life she can be proud of. that i can be proud of. one in which i walk away from things that are not right for me, no matter how badly i want them to fit.

A Story a Day #112 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

i have a hard time letting you go because i gave you myself and you were my home and i loved you so much so there that is why i keep calling

A Story a Day #111 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

while not having you in my life doesn't bring the immense sadness it used to, i can't help but think living would be prettier with you.

A Story a Day #110 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

and you grew while i stayed still and i watched with jealousy as you shed your old self like a second skin as i stood there, rotting.

A Story a Day #109 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

my heart's so sad it sags. i feel myself retreating into myself. i watch as my body and soul separate. this time there is no one to blame but myself. i listen to the sounds of me weeping behind the walls i built. it's a lonely sound.

A Story a Day #108 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

i do not deserve a medal have not been through any wars but i have lived and i would not mind a participation medal for that the act of not giving up is an act of strength in itself

A Story a Day #107 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

i had to move to bloom how could anyone notice the dandelion growing in the shadow of a rose

A Story a Day #106 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

it takes one scratch for me to feel as though my heart is bleeding out

A Story a Day #105 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

i like to think that maybe, once in a while, you see something and you think of me. like... a piece of chocolate cake. or a student with a textbook on her head. and you laugh, because you think of me, and it brings up fond memories of a time that seems so long ago. and then the smile fades slowly as you remember the rest of it, and how it all ended. and you set forward again with a sort of thumping ache in your heart, but you're determined to forget. you know, as much as i like to think this, i like to think that one day in the future, we're fixed. we're together again. you don't see the chocolate cake or the student by yourself; we see it together. and we both laugh. together.

A Story a Day #104 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

the thing is i never forget every scar every smile every good every bad nobody ever told me keeping score is how you fail

A Story a Day #103 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

it takes a while for me to open my doors but when i invite you over know that you are now also an owner of my home

A Story a Day #102 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

I felt safe when I was with you. I knew you couldn’t protect me from a rainstorm or rescue me from a fire. But I felt like you could.

A Story a Day #101 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

I love stars because they're dazzling. They shine so bright it's impossible not to be drawn into their arms. But I take the greatest triumphs in life's small victories and happinesses. My sister gets a job after months of trying. My friend aces her test after failing the last one. I shower after spending days in my bed. They are not the biggest mountains the world has ever seen, but they are still hills in their own right.

A Story a Day #100 by bramble-lee

[bramble-lee]

I had this idea, this silly, small, but stubborn idea, that our relationship meant more to you than me just passing you pencils in class when you needed them. Somebody gave me a split second view of what could have been and I crafted a five hundred page novel out of it. Art, sure, beautiful, sure, but what about me? What about my broken heart?

A Story a Day #99 by bramble-lee