Brando!

Smooth, Sweet, and Satisfying Me IG: ohyikes.exe

[brandon-the-human]

What y’all been up to ?

[daeyumi]

that one meme going around on twt

[dragongirltitties]

girl help they are making me do my job at work

[carfuckerlynch]

[ID: a headline from Reductress reading “Fascist? This woman just interrupted two baristas deep in conversation to ‘order a coffee.’” Below the headline is an image of two people wearing aprons, leaning against a wall and chatting. /end ID]

[brandon-the-human]

Hello I’m on Twitter much more now if any of y’all want to follow me there. It’s OhYikes_exe

[brandon-the-human]

I don’t check tumblr often but thanks for the sweet messages ❤️

[brandon-the-human]

Have you ever though about going the gym?

I used to go everyday in college 🥲 but would like to return this year

[brandon-the-human]

Do you have a fleshlight or fleshjack? Or used one if you don’t have one?

No but I’ll get one eventually I think

[recycledstars]

You’re my present this year.

[rainglazed]

Y'all need to STOP

[folgersincest]

Merry Christmas y’all

[oldbaton]

carly rae jepsen and abba have this thing in common where they make your blood feel carbonated

[posiehedge]

[risathegiffer]

[thelonelyskeleton]

Mildly attractive white men with shitty cars and substance addictions 😍😍

[brandon-the-human]

Oh they had a chokehold on me in college

[dallas--sallad]

[luthienne]

extremely fucked up that the only way out is through

[zofranfan]

[brandon-the-human]

Here’s me lately ❤️

[coughloop]

Gas leak, girl meat, cake boss or whatever the fuck

[michaelnothing]

[doctorizzykleiner]

im not even tagging this one im just purely unfunny

[doctorizzykleiner]

vortigaunts are trans rights

[brandon-the-human]

Do hairy guys turn you on?

Absolutely! I prefer hairy guys