grieving changes you . Every time someone slips through or begins to I slip myself . I mourn them . The anxiety sets in . I wonder how I could keep anyone at this rate . I woke up bleeding this morning . I didn’t pick a card this morning . I wasn’t a good friend tonight . It’s the first bad day of the year and it’s the new year . What does this mean for my year ahead ? Will it be good to me ? Will I learn what it means to be empathic ? Will I ever figure anything out ? Like , a single damn thing ? Today could’ve been fine . But I ruined my film , fucked up with a friend . Everything feels cursed . I feel like im slipping into a depression again . Is it PMS ? I honestly hope so . I wish it were Friday . Im feeling fucked up . I want therapy . I don’t want to be alone . I think one of the most soul crushing things I’ve experienced is literally the fact that nothing will be stable for me . I live in constant anxiety of not wanting to change bc I don’t know how long the change will live . How long my foundation will live . I’m so tired . This helps , I guess .
Who even knows me on here anymore.




















