Chasing Rainbows

I'm a Brazilian living in the US and married to the love of my life and this is our journey to parenthood. I have been diagnosed with endometriosis and MTHFR. We are ttc our rainbow baby now after years of infertility, two miscarriages and an ovarian ectopic pregnancy.

[brasileira9]

Wow, it's been a while...

I didn't realize how long it had been since I have been on here and actually posted something. So many things have been going on and (yes, I am going to use the typical excuse everyone does) I've been extremely busy. It's been wonderful though. We took a break after our last loss (feb. '13) and with me getting a new job.... Since you're supposed to be at an employer for 12 months before you're awarded maternity leave we decided it would be good for us to just give our bodies and mind a break from ttc. After four years, I have to admit it was a wonderful 3-4 months. Not keeping track of my cycle... Even though if I really thought about it I would always know when I was ovulating.. Not worrying about timing inter course just right... I didn't realize how much we needed that. I thought I would miss working for the city since I had been there for 7 years. I have barely even thought about it. There are people I will never see again and I am very happy about that. I am thankful for some of the friendships I made there will be lifelong. The others... Not so much. I am absolutely loving my new job. It's very challenging. It's emotionally and physically exhausting. There is so much more than just teaching when it comes to being full time faculty at an university. I am extremely busy (165 students between all my classes this semester), but I am happy! I wouldn't change it for the world. I believe this is where God has placed me and that good things will be happening very soon. Trying to catch up with everyone's stories and where everyone is. I see several of you got your bfp and I am so excited for you!! Sorry I've been MIA.

[whatshouldwecallinfertility]

When someone who struggled with infertility finally gets pregnant, immediately forgets the struggle, and becomes the most obnoxious pregnant Facebooker who ever Facebooked

[brasileira9]

[brasileira9]

[brasileira9]

I got the job! I am so extremely happy and excited and honored!! I will start full time at the university as a psychology professor on July 1st. I just know this is where God wants me. I feel like He has been grooming me for this position and it’s so wonderful to see His plans come to fruition. God is good! This couldn't have come at a better time!

[crazysweetstrong]

I freaking cannot love this enough. Please take the time to read it <3

It’s called the Infertility Manifesto. by Lollipop Goldstein. I thought it was worth sharing. You don’t understand, so let me explain. We thought we’d be able to have children...

[brasileira9]

Absolutely love this!

[whatshouldwecallinfertility]

When someone complains about not getting pregnant their first month trying

[brasileira9]

Over it... come to me after a year and then I MIGHT talk to you....

[brasileira9]

Therapy

I went to see a therapist when I was having a really hard time with ttc a few years ago.  I knew I wasn't about to have a break down, but being a psychology major/professor I knew the benefits of it. I also went for a few sessions after both of the first two miscarriages. I loved going! It helped so much. It was such a good way to get your feelings out with a neutral individual who cares. I had so many things to get out there that I didn't know I did... so it saddened me today when I heard my friend say "Oh I'm not to THAT point where I'm that crazy to need a therapist--I'll just keep praying". She has a really poor view of therapy, and I think a lot of it has to do with the Christian mentality she was brought up under that therapy is only if you've lost connection with God. That's so sad to me! SO INACCURATE! It's dangerous for Christians to believe that. God gives us resources on earth to help us and just because you go see a therapist/counselor does not mean you've lost connection with God. I tried to talk to her about it, and hopefully she listened. Therapy is good for the soul and it's good for anyone at any stage. Sometimes people wait too long to go and that's when it becomes difficult. I hope she comes around...

[brasileira9]

I had such a great weekend! Hung out with some awesome friends and got to spend quality time with my husband. This summer promises a lot--it's going to be so much fun. Maybe turning 30 won't be that bad after all. I took a pregnancy test this morning actually hoping it was negative. I've never done that before. It was negative! (duh....always) I just didn't want to be pregnant on the beach for my 30th, and also if I get this new job I didn't want to go into it being pregnant. FMLA is only available after 12 months of employment and although I don't want to take months off from ttc (they are a very family oriented university--they would probably grant me FMLA anyway from what I heard) I just didn't want to start the new job being pregnant already. Too much stress.

I feel like I will get this job, and this is where God wants me to be. I can't wait till the interview tomorrow! I am trying to be realistic about it and not get my hopes up too much, but it's hard not to.

[crazysweetstrong]

I am literally still texting my fellow ivf friend and she just gave me the perfect analogy….

We were discussing the “just relax” statement when it comes to infertility. How damaging it can be to a person and how it is never that easy. We discussed how the miracle babies (conceived naturally after...

[brasileira9]

Yep.Exactly!

[brasileira9]

Quality over Quantity

The last several months have really proven difficult in the friendship department. I've grown apart from people I thought I would be friends with forever. There's just nothing there to talk about anymore; we don't relate. The thing that's weird to me is that I am totally ok with it. I am not sad about it and I have decided not to invest anymore time in those friendships. I feel like I am a worse individual for being around them. It's all about quality of friendships now. I don't care to have a bunch of acquaintances that I see all the time but don't help make me a better person. I am sticking to the ones who value my friendship enough to actually try to hang out...Send a text here and there. The ones who are supportive. Kind. Friendly. Christian enough to realize we all have flaws. Not just the ones who I call "friends" because of how long we've known each other. I'm tired of people making themselves the victims because I haven't tried to text/hangout with them in a while. Guess what? It's a two way street. I am tired of being the one to carry friendships/relationships because I am the outgoing on who plans stuff. That's not fair. I want people around me who make an effort to be my friend. Not those who just take advantage of the fact that I'm a planner so if they want to hang out they have to wait on me to plan it. Over it.

[brasileira9]

I am a psychology adjunct professor at a University in town. I have taught one class per semester there for three years and absolutely love it. I love my students and the connection I’ve made with them. It’s so fulfilling and I feel like I am growing every day when I teach. My full time job is working as HR Manager for a local city. I enjoy it, but I am stagnant in it and things haven’t been the same for a few months. I am kinda over it. I have my masters in I/O Psychology which is pretty much business psychology.

Anyway, I applied for a full time job with the University I am adjunct with. I am so excited about this opportunity. I absolutely love teaching! It’s been an amazing experience doing just the one class a semester and I would love to do it full time. I am lucky they are even considering me since the requirements are a terminal degree (PhD). I have made it through the first round of interviews with the panel of psychology faculty and I have an interview with the VP of Academics next Wednesday. I am super excited and nervous about it at the same time. The faculty who recommended me to the VP (which is also where I got my undergraduate degree, so they know me as a student and colleague) are really behind me and want me for the position. It’s such a nice feeling to feel wanted! The problem is that there were six other qualified candidates they interviewed… all with the minimum requirement of PhD’s…which I am willing to get, but don’t currently have. I am lucky that I am the only person they recommended to the VP. I was so surprised and amazed at how blessed I am that they want me so bad! But… if I don’t blow that interview out of the water they will have to send the VP one of the actually qualified candidates they have. I really have to sell him on me, and the fact that even though I don’t have the minimum requirements, I can do the job and am willing to get my terminal degree and work hard at it. I can do it! Just gotta bring it!

Going back to grad school is a thought that excites and scares me at the same time. It’s been around 5 years since I got my MS but I am a nerd and love school so hopefully I’ll be fine. I’ve been out in the workforce now for almost 7 years and am used to not being a student anymore. I think I’ll love it again just as soon as I start :)

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers next Wednesday when I interview with the VP! So excited!

Side Note: this new job also has AMAZING benefits in helping to start a family. They actually have infertility coverage, adoption assistance, etc!! This is definitely not the reason I am applying, but what a HUGE perk and a blessing if I were to get it!

[brasileira9]

[brasileira9]

We just booked another long weekend beach trip! I'm so excited. Just me and the hubby for this one.  It'll be shortly after the due date of our second angel baby so it'll be good to get out of town and relax. I don't belong on dry land. I'm a much nicer, happier person on the beach. We went to Nashville for the first due date to get out of town, now to Myrtle Beach for the second one, I wonder what the third one will bring.... lol. Gotta have some humor about it in to make it!

[brasileira9]

MudRun

Just signed up for another mud run/obstacle course race. I'm excited! Not gonna live my life in the "what if I'm pregnant" state of mind anymore :)

[whatshouldwecallinfertility]

When my last child-free friend gets pregnant

When she tells me

Later…

And then much later

[brasileira9]