First of all hi! Iâm Ellie đ Iâm 26, English is not my first language and this is a tickle blog so if you donât like it youâve now been warned đŤśđť
Iâm inconsistent and canât handle a schedule, so if youâre okay with this energy, well welcome!
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Masterlist â¨
Here are my fics đ if you have any criticism or suggestion feel free to message me! English is not my first language so if you spot any mistake just tell me!
Although all my fics are pretty much sfw youâll find anything even remotely spicy or explicit signalled next to the title and in the fic itself.
As I said, I want this to be a safe space so if thereâs anything bothering you just say it and Iâll do my best to fix it!
Have a nice reading!
Hazbin Hotel
A sparkle in the night (Lee!Vox, Ler!Alastor)
A silent pact of silence (Lee!Lucifer, Ler!Alastor)
Marvel
Spiderman
You canât run away from yourself Part 1 | Part 2 (Lee!Peter3, Ler!Peter2)
Moon Knight
Prompt: âIâm quite comfortable over here, but thank you.â (Lee!Steven Ler!Marc)
Prompt: âIâd like to see you try.â (Ler!Jake Lee!Marc a bit of Ler!Steven)
Prompt: âMake me.â (Ler!Marc Lee!reader)
Prompt: âAre you - oh my god you are.â (Ler!Layla Lee!Marc)
My Hero Academia
Just let it go Kiribaku (Switch!Bakugou switch!Kirishima)
4 a.m. DabiHawks (Lee!Hawks Ler!Dabi) (mention of sex, nothing explicit)
Art â¨
I sometimes draw! Iâm still not very comfortable sharing my drawings since I find them a bit more personal but Iâm looking for validation so if you like them please say so đđ
Summary: Three years into the journey back to Erid, Rocky has become familiar with all the things that once made Grace seem strange: his hands, his face, his habits, his emotionsâand most of all, his laughter.
When Grace starts spiraling over his dwindling food supply, Rocky decides it is his duty as best friend and crewmate to cheer him up by any means necessary. What begins as laughter-provoking antics slowly turns into something deeper: a quiet reflection on joy, survival, and the strange ways two species can feel connected across the stars.
Words: 4445
Dynamics: Lee!Grace, Ler!Rocky
A/N: This was supposed to be a short writing exercise on how to describe laughter, but then it somehow led me to introspecting about the universe, as one does lol.
âââ
I donât completely remember what was running through my mind when my shipâs cameras and the petrovascope spotted another ship in the Tau Ceti system. A ship that, by the looks of it, was alien-made. My thoughts were probably something along the lines of âholyshitholyshitholyââ and âoh thank fuck Iâm not alone anymoreâ.
Thinking back, it probably wasnât wise to just assume theyâd be friendly, and I didn't even consider what they would look like. I was too focused on communicating and connecting our ships so we could meet.Â
All of which is to say, I was totally unprepared when we were right in front of each other, and I couldnât help the scream that came out of me. Grace looked like nothing I had ever seen or could ever imagine. He was so tall, standing upright on his two limbs while only having two others instead of three. And his whole body was covered with flesh while the harder material was inside. Itâs like if you turned an Eridian inside out.Â
Donât even get me started on his strange habits as well. Using the same orifice to talk and eat? Ugh.Â
He was freaky. Well⌠the keyword being was. Things are different now.Â
His fleshy hands arenât strange anymoreâtheyâre the hands that fly the Hail Mary, do complex calculations and big science, and make chains (many many chains).Â
Hands that bred taumoeba. Hands that pulled me back to safety.Â
And his body isnât strange anymore either. Itâs just his body, that does crazy dangerous EVAs, that has a beating heart that proves heâs alive, that shows love through a hug or friendly pat. His face and his mouth are now just his identity. A window to his emotions: a smile to show joy, eyes that tear up when sad.Â
Now, when I look at Grace and all the things that make him different from me, freaky is the word furthest from my mind. The only words I have now are⌠that's my best friend. Three years into our return trip to Erid, all the aspects that make up Grace have become familiar to me.
Most familiar of all is his laughter.
Ironic, considering how little of it I heard during our mission. There wasnât much time for joking around, both hyper-focused on saving our species. But now, time is all we have.Â
Between keeping ourselves busy and entertained, and learning more about each other, the opportunity to hear all the different ways Grace laughs has been plentiful. I think I have each one memorized.Â
His chuckles are little more than a deep rumble in his chest, a sound almost meant for only himself. Soft, fond, and relaxed, they usually appear when he's recalling a time one of his students said something clever, or when he thinks Iâve said something funny accidentally.Â
When he does manage to let slip some giggles, they sound fluttery, bubbling out of him in a continuous stream before boiling over into full laughter. I think most of the time they happen because he's trying not to laugh, as heâll often duck his head or cover his mouth to stifle them. Maybe he's embarrassedâtheyâre much more high-pitched than his normal speaking voice, but I always find them adorable. They're reminiscent of the flute-like voices of eridian infants.
Itâs particularly funny when Grace is surprised into amusement. He lets out sharp barks of laughter, sometimes accompanied by a quick clap of his hands or slapping his knee. Itâs like he's so suddenly taken by hilarity it needs more outlets.Â
Itâs even more funny when Grace snorts. It happens rarely, and only when he's caught completely off guard, surprised into laughter thatâs so deep and hearty it comes out his nose. I think itâs hilarious, not just the sound but because Grace gets so embarrassed by itâapparently even in human culture itâs a silly sound.
Perhaps the most rewarding is when Grace finds something really funny, like a joke I made (on purpose), or our silly banter, or even a dumb scene from one of his movies. His laughter comes from his stomach, loud and boisterous, and it makes his eyes water and squeeze shut, nose scrunching too. Sometimes it overcomes him so much that he has to hold onto something to keep upright, or wrap his arms around his abdomen. Itâs like for a moment he feels completely safe and unrestrained, forgetting about the Hail Mary, the beetles, and the dwindling food. Instead thereâs only happiness in its purest formâand it's one of my favorite laughs of his.Â
But not my all-time favorite.Â
My all-time favorite is the one he's making now, when I have him pinned to the floor of the ship, one claw digging into his middle and another two scribbling under his arms. The laughter thatâs pouring out of him can only be described as cacklesâloud, wild things interrupted by startled screeches and utterly beyond his control.Â
âROCKY! S-STOP IT!â he shrieks. I donât have his arms pinned, so he's torn between trying to wrench my claws out from under them and slapping at any part of my xenonite suit-covered carapace he can reach.
âMmm,â I trill in mock contemplation. âNo. I donât think youâve had enough penance yet.âÂ
His head thunks against the floor in defeat. âNghâaHAH!â he tries to reply but heâs laughing too hard to get any words out. I am curious what he has to say though, so I move my hands from his armpits and instead trace around what he calls a âbelly button.â It still tickles him a lot, but less so he can actually get words out.Â
The smile on his face is stretched so wide that it shows all of his teeth. He takes in a shuddered breath and chokes out between his giggles, âP-penance for what?!â
âYou were moping. No moping allowed on the Hail Mary.âÂ
âWhaâbut itâs MY ship!â he tries to protest but more giggles interrupt his speech. âEheheâI can m-mope if I want to!âÂ
I let out a chittery laugh at that. He can be so whiny.Â
âNope. Not allowed,â I reiterate. I use my fingers to skitter up and down his sides, making sure to tweak his bottom ribs whenever I reach them. It makes Grace arch his back and then flop back down with a cackle each time.Â
In truth, this isnât made to be an actual âpunishmentâ. I mean, Grace was moping, that part's true. Just before I wrestled him to the floor he was looking over the Hail Maryâs food storage, doing some calculations with his face pulled into a frown and muttering to himself. Based on his calculations, the last few months of our trip will be difficult for him. Grace is worried.Â
But I hate to hear him like that, and thereâs nothing more we can do about the food anyway. So naturally, itâs my job as his crewmate/best friend to take his mind off it, cheer him up a bit. And if tickling him to pieces is the quickest way to accomplish that, well, then you really canât blame me.Â
It also gives me the opportunity to hear his loudest, silliest laughs, the kind he only does when he's forced to let go of his worries and submit to this playful stupidity. As an added bonus, all that laughter sends sound waves bouncing off my carapace, giving me the clearest image of Grace yet. Hey, I gotta get something out of this too, ok?Â
Grace is shoving at me with both hands now, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back in laughter. He's not strong enough to push me away even if he wasnât laughing himself out of oxygen.Â
âGah! G-get offa me, doofus!â he manages between desperate gasps for air, each one collapsing back into laughter.
I hum a high, amused note, and pull back on the tickling a bit. I still use one hand though to poke randomly around his stomach, enough to keep him twitching.Â
âHave you laughed all of your mopes out yet?â I ask teasingly.Â
Grace drags in deep breaths now that he has the chance, but each one has a leftover giggle or two tacked onto the end. He flops an arm over his chest and I feel him sag into the floor.Â
âUghâŚâ he wheezes. âYouâre⌠the worstâŚâ
I dig sharply into his sides. âAnswer the question.âÂ
He yelps and his hands fly down to grab mine. âAh! L-let me think, dang it!â
A few beats pass before Grace comes to a verdict. He crosses his arms, and schools his face into one of defianceâor at least he tries to. Thereâs a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth that gives him away.Â
âI think thereâs one still rattling around in there,â he says, and oh, if I know a challenge when I hear oneâŚÂ
âIs that so?â I reply. I grab his wrists and start to slowly raise them over his head. That cracks his defiant facade immediately, his eyes widening and a helpless smile spreading across his face. He starts tugging fruitlessly at my hold, and I think itâs that moment he realizes the situation he put himself in.Â
âWait wait wait! Rocky no! H-hold on!â he splutters. The second his arms are firmly over his head and there to stay, frantic, high-pitched giggles begin bubbling out.Â
Mhmm, I quite enjoy this part. Grace is absolutely terrible with anticipation, a fact I love to take full advantage of. With one of my arms pinning Grace's wrists, it leaves my other two open to hover threateningly over his underarms and upper ribs.
âDonât worry,â I say, my voice laced with sticky sweetness. âIâll help you.â
I feel Grace's whole body try to flinch away, but Iâve got a strong grip on him as well as some of my weight pinning his hips down where I sit on top of him.Â
âJ-just hold on a second!â he cries, his eyes unable to look away from my wiggly, xenonite-covered fingers. Laughter is on the edge of each of his words.Â
Slowly, I lower my wiggling fingers closer to his body. As I do, Grace's giddy, nervous giggling gets louder and more frantic, and his squirming increases tenfold. When I reach just the edge of his clothes and brush them gentlyânot even technically touching himâGrace bursts out into loud, belly laughter.Â
âNo no NO!â he screeches, and his legs kick out helplessly behind me. âS-stahahp it!!âÂ
I pull my hands away, and Grace goes back to desperate, sputtering giggles. Hah, I canât help but laugh along with him, his reactions are over the top and hilarious.Â
âWow,â I say around my own chirpy laughter. âYou are so fucking ticklish, Grace.âÂ
I hear the blood rush to his face at that, and he tries to hide it in his arm. Itâs a very subtle sound, one I only know to listen for because Grace explained that humans' faces flush when embarrassed.
âDefinitely sold yourself out there, friend,â I think to myself. Â
âYouâre the most ticklish human ever, arenât you?â I continue to tease. Grace lets out a growly whine that trails off into more desperate giggling. He tries clenching his teeth together, but it does nothing to stop the embarrassing sounds, instead making his laughter come out in a hissy sort of way around his teeth and the wide grin he's wearing. He starts shaking his head helplessly, already accepting his demise.Â
Alright, time to stop teasing and get to the real deal. I drop both my hands to scribble his underarms and massage at his top rib. The reaction is explosive; Grace cracks into laughter so loud that he's absolutely glowing in my perception, every detail of his face and the playful torture heâs experiencing crystal clear to me. He even makes enough sound waves to illuminate every small detail of the room in my vision without my need to tap a claw or click a sound.Â
âNoâ! R-rockâ! Gah-ahAHAHA!â is all he can manage between his hysterical laughter before he peters out into silence. I can tell he's still laughing thoughâhis whole chest is shaking and I can feel his stomach muscles convulsing beneath me where I have him pinned. His mouth is stretched into a wide grin and he takes in a breath here and there too, but no audible laughter follows it. Just his feet slapping the ground occasionally behind me.Â
I really enjoy this type of laughter too. Itâs not my favorite, but more so I just feel real smug anytime I manage to drive him crazy enough to laugh himself fresh out of sound. He even has a few tears leaking out of his eyes, and those are rewarding too. Iâd much rather he leak from overwhelming mirth and laughter than from sadness and pain.
But the tears also signal that Grace is at his limit. I pull my hands away from his tickle spots and instead rub soothingly at his sternum, chasing away the last of the tingly feelings.Â
Grace does his best to melt into the floor as the lingering titters fade away. He wraps one arm around his middle and rests the other one on top of my arm thatâs rubbing his chest while he catches his breath.Â
âOhoho manâŚâ he breathes. âIâm sohoho gonna get you b-back.âÂ
I hum a note. âCanât. Iâm not ticklish. Not like you,â I tease. Thatâs totally a lie, but not one Grace is strong enough to disprove, an advantage of our anatomical differences.Â
We sit for a moment while he recovers until he finally props himself up on his elbows.Â
âYou know, one of these days Iâm gonna have Mary toss you out the airlock. See how well you can tickle me from the vacuum of space,â he says with a grin.Â
My hand stills on his chest, and I tilt my carapace. âYouâd toss your best friend into space?â I ask, playing along.Â
âOh, definitely,â he nods. He picks up the tool I use to weave xenonite thatâs resting on the floor. I donât use it much now, since I used almost the last of my xenonite stores to make my dexterous suit. (That probably wasnât wise to do, but itâs worth it to be able to come into Grace's atmosphere completely and interact in this silly way.)
It also means that the tool, which I had brought to Grace's side to show him, has been sitting on the floor for a few weeks. Grace waggles the tool in front of me. âPlace would be a whole lot cleaner without you leaving your stuff everywhere, donât you think?â he teases, and draws his knee in to knock against my carapace.Â
Well then. Seems the moping is gone and replaced with sass. Not quite what I was going for.Â
I sing a low, jokingly offended note.Â
âI see. Well, before you do that, thereâs one spot Iâve never tried before. We should fix that, in the name of scientific discovery of course.â I slide off his middle and move down towards his socked feet, grabbing hold of just one ankle.Â
Grace begins smiling immediately, and tries to tug his leg back. He's not using his full strength to do so, and combined with his smile I know he doesnât actually mind this at all. Weâve never talked about it out loud, but I know we both think this silly, stupid kind of play is really fun.Â
âWait, wait! Maybe we can compromise,â he says, voice wobbly with the beginnings of laughter. âI donât have to toss you out, just your stuffâAH!âÂ
He's cut off by me taking off his sock and swiping my fingers up and down the bottom of his foot. I was serious when I said Iâve never tried tickling here, and I regret that now because this is a really sensitive spot. Grace drops my xenonite weaver and falls onto his back again, laughter renewed. He's still trying to tug his leg away while the rest of his body is free to squirm now that Iâm not on top of him anymore.
I only tickle him for a few seconds before stopping, given I already put him through the wringer before. When I stop, Grace throws an arm over his face while some lingering hiccupy laughs fade away. Iâve still got a hold of his ankle, though, and this time poke his largest toe.Â
âAre these ticklish too?â I ask, genuinely curious. Itâs already surprising he'd be ticklish in this area, since he literally walks on them every day. Humans are fascinating like that.Â
Grace huffs a residual laugh and says âMaybe,â which I take as âDefinitely yes.â
âWhy are these ticklish but the ones on your hands arenât?âÂ
He shrugs and looks down his body at me. âIâm not sure,â he answers honestly. âMight be evolution-based. You need your toes to walk, but you can live without fingers, so maybe itâs the bodyâs way of making you protect those more.âÂ
He pauses before adding, âI actually knew a guy once whoâs missing six fingersâwhaâ?! H-hey!â He gets cut off by more giggles as I attempt to scribble at his toes.Â
âI was talking!â he laughs. âRude! Nahahahâouch! Hey, careful!â Â
I rip my hands away. âSorry sorry sorry! Are you alright?âÂ
âIâm fine, you just pinched me a bit. Your fingers are a lot bigger than human ones.â Thatâs true. It makes tickling this delicate area difficult. I wonderâŚÂ
I re-grip his ankle and slip my xenonite weaver over the suit-clad fingers on my other hand. The weaver is almost like a second skeleton, with braces hugging my forearm and hand. Delicate articulated prongs extend beyond each fingertip, tapering to points far finer than my own fingers could ever be so I can weave small strands of xenonite. With the tool powered down, however, theyâre nothing more than slender metal finger extensions.Â
Using a second hand, I grip his big toe and pull it back, stretching his foot and other toes, then hover my third hand wearing the tool over them. Grace understands immediately what Iâm about to do because his eyes widen and his mouth opens to protest, but heâs too late.Â
I dance the tips of the thin prongs at the base of his toes and in between them too, for good measure. This was a fantastic idea. Grace begins shrieking and yanking at his foot harder than ever before. Itâs no use though, I have an iron-clad grip on him.Â
âHolyâargh nohoho!â he practically screams. âT-thahatâs terrible!!âÂ
I chirp giggles along with him and decide to try something hopefully worse, scraping the prongs up and down the bottom of his foot in addition to his toes to see what happens.Â
âFUCK!â Grace yells before being consumed by more screechy laughter. His whole body does a funny sort of roll, and his free foot starts kicking at me with surprising strength. Itâs not enough to stop me, but it does actually make me stumble a bit.
I burst into laughter and it mingles in the room with his. Wow, this really makes him lose his mind if it gets him to actually curse. Iâll definitely be doing this again sometimeâthis is fun.Â
Grace practically wails my name, the last note of it soaring to an impressive pitch. Itâs time to stop. I donât want to actually ruin the playful moment weâre having. I pull all my hands away and sit next to Grace, giving him the space to roll onto his side and pull his knees to his chest, catching his breath.Â
âI ha-hate youâŚâ he huffs weakly into his knees. Mmm, liar.Â
Eventually his breathing slows and he uncurls himself. I move to sit beside his head with my legs tucked underneath my carapace. He always calls that position âloafing,â and when he cracks an eye open to glance at me, he huffs out a few chuckles.Â
Feeling a sudden surge of fondness, and perhaps a tad bit of guilt, I use the weaver to stroke through Graceâs hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. He hums a contented note and goes boneless under the touch, eyes slipping closed again.
âYou done torturing me?â he asks sleepily.Â
I hum a note myself, amused. âFor today.âÂ
Grace smiles softly at that, eyes still closed. My amusement melts into something gentler. âAre you feeling better?â I ask, softer now. Sincere.Â
He opens his eyes and looks at me. âYeahâŚâ he says, a smile still on his face. I sense some tension pulling at his brows, though.Â
âIt will be ok, Grace. Weâll work out a solution when we get to Erid. I promise.âÂ
He nods. âI know.â
We fall into a comfortable, companionable silence and stay like that for a while. Graceâs breathing returns to a slow and steady rhythm as I continue to brush the prongs through his hair, lost in my own thoughts.
âWhat are you thinking about?â Grace asks softly. He looks like heâs on the verge of falling asleep.Â
I brush his bangs back and soothe them down. His hair is getting quite long. I like it, it makes it even more soft and fluffy. âIâm thinking about our theory.âÂ
âWhich one? Panspermia?âÂ
âMhm.âÂ
Itâs something we talked about early on in our mission, when we discovered that the planet Adrian did indeed have life. A lot of life, actually, in the form of bacteria, amoebas, and other single-celled organisms. What are the chances of Earth, Erid, and Adrian all evolving life separately from one another? Life that uses the same basic machinery: DNA, ATP, familiar cellular structures, and, in some organisms, even mitochondria?
To me, it seems low. Possible, maybe. But low. Our three star systems are not that far apart, really. Yes, Earth and Erid are sixteen light-years apart, with Adrian somewhere between us, but that is close compared to the vastness of the galaxy. The Milky Way galaxy spans about 100,000 light-years. Weâre practically roommates, if you consider the observable universe and its trillions of galaxies.
Thatâs where our theory comes in. Panspermia is the idea that life didn't just start all on its own on our planets. It came from somewhere else. Where? Who knows, but the theory is that billions of years ago some ancient life form âseededâ Earth, Erid, and Adrian with life by way of a comet/asteroid, or something. Then life did what it does: evolved over billions of years into different forms that seem completely different from each other, but share many similarities if you look small enough. Humans, Eridians, and astrophage. We may have done billions of years of evolution separately, but the point is that if you go far enough back on each of our branches, weâre joined by one common but ancient ancestor.Â
Weâre cousins. Very very very distant cousins, but family all the same. Or thatâs what I like to believe. We donât have real proof of this theory, but it makes me feel closer to humanityâcloser to Grace. And itâs interesting to think about in these quiet moments of companionable space travel.Â
âI used to think you were as different from me as two things can be,â I say.Â
Grace smiles. âOh? Was it the leaky space blob-ness?âÂ
I chuckle out a chord. âThat was definitely part of it. But nowâŚâÂ
âNow space feels a whole lot smaller, and we feel a whole lot closer,â he finishes for me.Â
âYeah.âÂ
He reaches up over his head and brushes his fingers against mine on the hand not combing through his hair, just absentminded touches. He likes to fidget while he thinks, and enjoys being close too.
âIsnât it fascinating how both our species evolved to have laughter? I mean, that can't be a coincidence,â he says. Itâs like he read my mind. Thatâs what I was about to bring up next.Â
âIt would be a huge coincidence, yes,â I say. âI think it's further evidence for our theory. That weâre connected.â
Itâs not definitive proof in the slightest, barely a correlation. But I choose to believe it is. The universe can be terribly ugly, but thereâs also so much beauty in it, so why couldnât this one beautiful thing be true too? That the sounds of joy prove weâre connected, even light-years apart?
âLaughter connects the universeâŚâ Grace says wistfully, his smile growing. âThatâs a nice thought. I like it.âÂ
I like it too. I feel a deep warmth wash over me, a sense of happiness and belongingâand Iâm still light-years from home.Â
âIâm happy I evolved to meet you, Grace,â I say. âIâve never had a friend like you before. Someone who understands me in ways I canât explain, because I don't need to with you.âÂ
âAnd Iâm so grateful I get to hear your laughter,â I add.
I hear that subtle rush againâGraceâs face flushing with shynessâand it makes me chuckle. I canât see the color, but I trace a finger over what I know is his reddened cheek, just to let him know Iâm aware of whatâs happening.
Grace shoos my hand away playfully and huffs, embarrassed.Â
âYou're such a sap,â he says. âBut⌠Iâm happy I evolved to meet you too. Iâm happy we get to laugh together.âÂ
âââ
We made it to Erid, and itâs good to be home.Â
The last few months of our tripâand the first stretch of time on the ground tooâwere indeed difficult for Grace. His coma slurry and taumoeba shakes were enough to keep him alive while we figured out a solution. But just barely.Â
Every day he slept more. His cheeks hollowed further. He smiled less. I stayed by his side through it all, diligently watching as he slept, thinking of the days where we talked about the universe and filled our ship with laughter.Â
Those were dark times. But Iâm so grateful they're behind us.Â
Now, two years after we made it home, the scene looks quite different: My beloved Adrian and I are in Grace's biodome. It's stocked with plenty of nourishing food for him. His stomach is soft, his ribs no longer sharp beneath his skin, and his cheeks are rounded. Heâs going to start teaching soon, and itâs the most excitement Iâve seen in him for a while. My Adrian says one of their dry, witty jokes, and Grace has to hold onto me to keep from falling over in laughter.
Itâs a beautiful sound, and I hold it close to my hearts. I am so grateful I get to hear it again, and I know I'll hear it for years to come.
âââ
A/N: there we go! Hope you guys enjoyed! Here are a few questions that I'm curious what your guys answers are:
What do you think of Panspermia? Itâs a real theory, that life on earth started because a life-containing asteroid crashed here. And if it happened to earth⌠perhaps it has happened elsewhere.Â
What other completely normal human things do you think Rocky would find fascinating/horrifying?
Do we like the Rocky pov? Would we mind another one bc I have a short one in mind, same dynamics but I swear I have plans to switch that up too lol
This is a list of tickle dynamics that I just can't get enough of. They're so flustering.
Human!Lee x Alien!Ler - When an alien is poking and prodding at a human to see what they are and not understanding that it tickles them because it's not a concept where they're from. Once they learn that it makes humans happy they won't stop.
Plant!Ler - The concept of a plant being able to move and wrapping around someone, digging it's vine's into sensitive spots. Then a companion comes along and has to rescue them while being very amused at what they're seeing.
Doctor!Ler - A doctor performing a regular check up, asking their patient to lay down on the medical bed and them press their hands on the patients stomach while the patient tries desperately not to react... only for the doctor to notice and point it out.
Voodoo Doll - Where the ler finds a voodoo doll of their lee just thinking it's a cool doll that looks them. Then they begin messing with it while their lee is in the next room over, absolutely loosing their mind. (I have that one Smosh skit to blame for this. please say someone knows what I'm talking about.)
Grumpy!Lee x Sunshine!Ler - Sunshine character accidently finds out when messing with grumpy character. Grumpy character asks them not to tell anyone and of course the sunshine character obliges... after they've tickled them to pieces first.
Gentle Giant!Ler - When a Giant character needs to find a way to make the lee smile or when a Giant companion is playing with their owner and begins nuzzling their neck or belly.
Overly Serious/Dense!Ler - Where they don't have much of a facial expression while tickling a lee. They think it's cute how their lee squirms and giggles but they're just too blasĂŠ to show any sort of reaction.
Tickle Shocks - A character having an electrical ability and using it to tickle their lee with little shocks. I also like the concept of them pretending that their lee needs CPR. "Clear!" they'd shout, rubbing their hands together and then planting it down onto their sides, squeezing and activating their power slightly just to enhance the tickle effect.
anon in my inbox said fanfic writers who wrote about dark and taboo topics were not âreal writersâ because of what they wrote about.
reblog if you believe anon is wrong and writers are writers, no matter what they write about. no matter how they portray these taboo topics.
reblog if you believe art can be about topics that are controversial, taboo or outright disturbing, and artists who create controversial, taboo or outright disturbing art are as valid as artists who create art of conservative values.
Hey gang, sorry for the oddball post tonight- Iâve had a RRRROOOOUGH couple days, and I ended up writing this kinda shorter, dumb, self indulgent little number, and I figured Iâd post it while I finish up with Rock-Sitting, which is the fic that won the poll.
I PROFUSELY APOLOGIZE. I HOPE THIS IS DECENT COMPENSATION IN THE MEANTIME. IM STILL XOOKINâ YALL TRUSTTTTTTT ďżź
ďżź
Lee!Grace (PHM) Ler!Simon (Iron Lung)
Grace points out something about Simon that heâd love to hear more of, And Simon points out something about Grace that heâs sick and tired of. An agreement is achieved!
If I were still on Earth when I met Simon, I think itâs safe to say I would have been a little offput, even afraid of him. But being in deep space long enough will show you that you can make a friend out of just about anything.
Cells on a microscope slide, a sentient rock spider with an attitude, blood-soaked, marred and mutated space convicts from alternate universesâŚ
I was proud to say that at this point, there was nothing left to surprise me.
âŚI thought.
âRyland.â
âHm?â I sit up from my slouched position over the lab table, spinning my pen idly like a drumstick.
âWhereâd you put the sleeping bags? You said you were gonna put them in the wash, but I didnât see them by the laundry hatch.â
âOh, I tossed them in a little while ago⌠uh-â I tilt my head. âSay that again?â
âWhat?â
âWhatâre you looking for again?â
âThe sleeping bags?â
I let out a soft huff, turning to look at Simon. He had annunciated the âsâ in âsleepingâ with more of a âschâ sound. Did he always have a lisp..? How have I never noticed that?
âRight, Right yeah, uhm..â I think for a moment. I want to make sure it isnât a fluke, and have him try another âsâ word.
âOh, speaking of laundry, are we out of clean towels? I couldnât find any earlier.â I lied. There were a whole bunch.
âYeah, should be. Above the bathroom sink.â
There it was again! Schinkâ instead of âsinkâ. I wasnât imagining!
âHa!â I cover my mouth. I didnât mean to let that slip.
âWhat..?â
âNothing! Sorry.â
Simon furrowed his brow, staring at me with a look that Iâm sure he didnât mean to be as icy as it was.
âNothing, I just⌠noticed you have a little bit of a uhm⌠a lisp- probably because of the⌠the teeth. Never noticed before.â My voice gets quieter as my sentence continues.
âSo youâre making fun of me.â The lisp was gone that timeâŚ
âNO! No, Iâm not making fun of you!â
âThen why are you laughing at me?â
âIâm nohohot! I promise Iâm noOT-!â
Simon takes a step closer to me, and I move back instinctively, stumbling over my stool and falling the short distance to the ground.
Simon snorts, looming above me. âWhatâre you scared of me too? You act like Iâm gonna kill ya.â
âDonât joke like that!â
Simon Rolls his eyes, standing still for a moment.
âŚ
âBOO.â He jerks toward me suddenly.
I flinch with a dramatic gasp, groaning once the momentary adrenaline fizzles out.
âHa! Knew it.â
âCheap shot.â I mutter, standing up off the floor and planting my butt back into my stool.
âOh and laughing at my speech impediment is fair game?â Simon folds his arms, tilting his head. The xenonite prosthetic emitting a quiet whir as it moves into position.
âIâm not trying to tease you, I just never noticed it before. It sorta juxtaposes your voice. I-in a good way! I- I mean, it doesnât make you less cool- and Iâm also not saying speech impediments arenât cool-â
âAlright, alright. Put the shovel down while you can still crawl out of the grave youâre digging.â Simon shakes his head, sitting up on the lab table beside me.
âItâs the teeth, yes. But more importantly the lack of any skin around them. These stupid things let too much air slip by, and it messes up my speech a little bit.â He says with a shrug.
âHuh. I never noticed before.â
âYeah, I try to control it as best I can. I just have to adjust my tongue and it pretty much fixes it. She sells seashells by the seashore. See?â With just that small adjustment, the relatively minorlisp was gone. Impressive!
âHuh- wow. So you just forget to control it sometimes?â
âMhm. Thatâs why I call you Ryland and not Grace. Iâd end up calling you âGrascheâ one of these days.â
âThatâs alright.â
âMmph.â He shrugs
I frown.
âThat seems like a lot of extra effort⌠why not just-â
âLet it go?â
âYeah- I mean itâs just us and Rocky. No oneâs gonna care.â
âYou just laughed at-â
âI SAID I DIDNâT MEAN TO.â I pointed at him sharply. âJust- I dunno, just try going without the self-censoring for a while. Might be nice! Unless itâs more comfortable to keep doing what youâre doing, or easier, of courseâŚâ Simon groans, his head lulling to the side.
âYou can give an opinionated suggestion without opening up 75 alternative options. Just speak your mind, you donât have to people-please on a ship with two people and a rock.â
I stare at Simon, face heating up like plasma on a hull. OuchâŚ
Simon sighs. âThat was blunt, sorry.â
âNo, no. Itâs alright.â I mutter.
âYou do it a lot, though.â
âI do?â Simon nods dramatically, dull black hair falling into his face.
âYes, constantly.â
I hum in reply, dropping us both into silence. Simon sighs, turning to face me on the table.
ââŚHow about this. Iâll promise to drop the lisp avoidance if you promise to speak your mind. To be direct. Deal?â
He extends the xenonite hand towards me. I look down at it for a moment. Man, Rocky did a great job with it.
âDeal.â I accept the handshake. We both sigh heavily, mentally preparing for our own self edits.
*Beep Beep Beep*
Saved by the bell. Well, the⌠laundry alarm.
âSleeping bags are done.â Simon lets go of my hand with a smile, not bothering to self-correct the âsâ this time. I smile back, nodding.
I turn back to my lab station as he walks off.
-
âGrace!â I perk up, hearing my name clear across the ship. Simon? He used my last name!
âYeah! Whats up?!â I shout back, still perched over my microscope and notebook.
âI need help!â I stand up, senses on alert.
âWhere are you?!â
âDorm!â
I drop my pen and jog to the Dorm hatch, lifting it, and descending th ladder as fast as I could.
âWhat?! Whatâs wrong?!â I swing down from a few rungs up, trotting over to where Simon stood, fussing with his prosthetic.
âThe elbow joint is jammed- I canât get it unstuck. I donât wanna break it.â
âOkay, okay! Well for one, this thing is made of straight up xenonite, so I donât think breaking it is a risk. Here, let me see.â I gently take the prosthetic in hand, attempting to extend the arm manually. Stuck.
I hum to myself in thought, rotating the thing in a few directions before spotting the issue. A small gear had shifted slightly out of place, causing the entire elbow joint to freeze up. I grab a spare pen I had balanced behind my ear, using it to coax the metal back into place.
With a satisfying click, we were back in business.
âThere! Should be good now.â I nod, stepping back.
âTry moving it around.â I say.
Simon flexes and extends the prosthetic, the machine humming as it moved. It seemed to be back in working condition.
I nod in satisfaction. âTry not to lift anything too heavy before Rocky can make some edits on the mechanics. We donât want you getting jammed up any worse than this.â
âI didnât even lift anything heavy- just that stupid stack of sleeping bags from the dryer.â He said with a frustrated huff.
I smiled, (a little wider and goofier than I world have liked) hearing the shameless,mild slurring of his sâs. There was something about it that really made me giddy.
âWhatâre you smiling about?â
âNothing!â I shrugged directing my eyes anywhere else.
âNow hold on- You promised youâd speak your mind, didnât you? Whatâre you smiling about?â He asked again, taking a step towards me. Why is he so intimidating today?! Good lord!
âI-Iâm just happy to see youâre letting your wall down! Thatâs all!â I babble nervously.
âYou look to the side when you lie, you know that?â
âIâm being serious! And youâre backing me into an oof- corner, here-â My back hits the wall.
âWhyâre you smiling?â At this point he had to just be messing with me.
âYâknow, I can hear you just as clear from two paces back, actually.â I mutter.
âYour ears can turn red too? Jesus. Glad Iâm not as scared of blood like I used to be.â
âHey!â I bark out.
âTell me why you keep smiling and Iâll move back.â
âUgh, FINE! I find your lisp incredibly endearing, and it makes me happy to know that youâre comfortable enough to let it slide around me now!â I blurt out.
âSoooo close.â Simon purrs, shaking his head. Heâs so close to me now I can make out every scar, blemish, and freckle on his face.
âCome ooonn, man! What more do you need for me to say! Iâm speaking my mIIIHIHIND!! N-NOOONONONO-!â
âYeah, you are, but youâre wrapping it up in about 800 unnecessary words. Just get to the point.âSimon drones, both his hands, real and robotic, grabbing my ribs, squeezing and vibrating into the bone. My knees give out under me, and I slide to the floor. Simon follows me down, my arms gripping his desperately on my descent.
âA-AHAHAHA-! THERE WERE NO. TERMS AND CONDIHIHITIONS TO THIS AGREEMENT-! O-OW-!â I thrash under his grip, only catching a glimpse of him rolling his eyes before my own squeeze closed.
âYeah, but Iâm not avoiding the words I know im gonna mess up. Iâm just talking like a normal person, and letting it happen.â He says, Voice eben and calm.
âYou, however-â Simon delivers a sharp pinch to the back of my shoulder blade, making me gasp. âSeem to have quite the habit of wrapping your statements in flowery, unnecessary words.â
âAH-! AH-! OKAHAHAY OKAY, IM SORRY!â I plead, kicking my legs uselessly like an upside-down bug.
âIf youâre sorry, then tell me why, everytime I do the exact thing you asked me to do, you smile and giggle about it like a child. If I didnât know better, Iâd think you were poking fun.â His voice is level and smooth.
âI DID AHAHALREADY- AHAHAHAA!!â
âŚI can assure you, the sound that came out of my mouth just then was manly, masculine, and honestly, probably sunshine in the baritone range. ..
âJesus, Grace youâre gonna blow my eardrums out, stop screaming-â Simon hissed, wincing as I⌠screamedâŚ
In my defense, he somehow got a hand behind my neck, pinching the Splenius Capitus muscle.
Yes of course I know what itâs called.
All my life Iâd been a denier of being ticklish, despite how easily provable it was, but my neck had always been one of the places I couldnât poker-face my way through. Even my students knew about it.
It only took one time, when a student tried to get my attention at my desk by tapping me on the neck, and you would have thought I had gotten tazed. I couldnât stand it. Canât stand it.
âSIMON-! SIMON NO NO NONO PLEHEHEASE. IM SEHEHERIOUS! I- I CAHAHANâTâ I plead, wheezing and heaving, body rigid as a board.
âWow- alright, tell me why you keep smiling at me and Iâll let go.â
I grit my teeth, squeezing my eyes shut.
â3âŚâ
Weâre counting down?!
âY-YOHOHOUâRE COUNTING DOWN?!â
â2âŚâ
âWAIT WAHAHAIT IKAY!â
â1âŚâ
âI THINK THE LISP IS CUTE! OKAY?! I- I THINK IT MAKES YOU SOUND INTERESTING, AND I WISH YOUâD LET IT OUT FROM THE START. NOW GET OHOHOFFA ME!â
Simon releases the back of my neck, and my whole body falls limp against the wall, my chest rising and falling, greedily wasting the shipâs oxygen.
âThereâs no way that was worth screaming bloody murder about.â
âOh says you! You and your stupid gills!â I bark back. Simon smiles.
âThere you go, speaking your mind! Thatâs what Iâm talking about!â He snickers.
âShut up.â I sit up, leaning my head back.
âSp whatâs that about my lisp?â
âIâm not⌠saying it agai- DO NOT come near me.â I bark out, curling in on myself, and lifting a leg towards him, threatening a kick as Simon acts like heâs making a move to lunge at me again.
âRelax, relax, Iâm done.â Simon stands up slowly, pausing for a moment, and looking back down at me, his expression a bit more serious.
âWas that too much for you? Youâre alright?â
I nod weakly. âYeah, yeah Iâm fine, youâre fine.â I sputter out.
Simon smiles again, fondly this time.
âDidâya have fun?â
My glasses fogged up from the sweat on my face, and boy did I hope that obscured the bright red that crawled over my cheeks and noseâŚ
I nod.
Simon tilts his head.
âWhat?!â
âI kinda wanted you to say it.â
I sigh, swallowing whatever iota of pride I have left.
If youâre interested in ideas for Simonâs terrible horrible no good very bad day fic, maybe something where heâs ashamed/hates his mutations, specifically the ones on his face? Cause I canât stop thinking about him getting so angry with how he looks that he tried to yank out the teeth with pliers. Donât know how successful heâd be but heâd damn sure try. I get that itâs a pretty heavy topic & you might wanna pass on it, but just thought Iâd share! Iâve been LOVING all your fics!
ABSOLUTELY IâLL WRITE THIS.
Yo this is SUCH a peak suggestion ohhh my god,,, I love me a dark heavy topic to write about, I NEVER mind!!â
ALSO TYSM FOR ALL THE LOVE!! I always love seeing your little notes on your reblogs TEEHEE
Tooth & Nail
This oneâs dark, gang. Not the whole time, of course, but hot mama this was a hell of a write- LMAO.
I feel like I apologize for something every time I post but whatever bruh. IâM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. a lot came up while writing, I had to cut and rewrite a lot of it⌠Iâm afraid it might be a little disjointed?? But maybe Iâm overthinking⌠anyway, as usual, there will probably be typos. Iâm blind, siIIIGH.
°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ
Lee!Simon (Iron Lung) Ler!Grace (PHM)
TWâs: heavy mentions of blood, depiction of a severe mental break, self harm, teeth, and the removal of them, swearing
⌠Simon cannot stand the appearance of his new mutations, nor the discomfort they cause. Attempting to take matters into his own hands, he leaves Grace to pick up the pieces, which thankfully, heâs more than willing to do.
°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ
Half the battle of recovering after physical trauma is the physiological condition.
The human body can find a way to function, even under the most obscure circumstances. With enough time, life will find a way to persist.
It may not look the same as it did before⌠smooth lines become jagged, even tones become blotchyâŚ
But cells, blood, muscle, organs, and skin donât care about how they look. Life in a body is about utility, not aesthetics.
As true as all of this is, ithe words fall meaninglessly flat to someone who may be physically healed, but not entirely emotionally.
Words can only go so farâŚ
-
âDonât pick at your skin, Si, youâll irritate it.â
I mutter, hunched over a hunk of metal I was in the middle of clumsily dismantling, removing hammed screws with nothing but thick, hooked pliers and hope.
âItâs itching.â
I look up to see where Simon was scratching, since Iâd only responded to the sound before.
His hand, clawed and rigid against the marred half of his face, raked at the skin around the split that gave way for long, sharp teeth protruding from the back of his upper and lower jaw, across almost to his canines.
I nod slowly. âYeah, that areaâs gonna be a little sensitive for a while. Still, donât mess with it.â
âItâs been months- everythingâs done healing⌠itâs just this stupid face thing!â
âWell, the skin on your face had to stretch and break in⌠kinda unconventional ways to accommodate your new teeth, so your bodyâs still acclimating.â
âGod I hate these stupid fuckinâ things.â
âYour teeth?â
Simon grunts in reply, leaning back in his chair. There was a resentful darkness in his eyes.
âWhy? I think theyâre awesome!â
âYou think everythingâs awesome.â
âSomethinâ wrong with that? Iâm a positive guy, what can I say.â
Simon rolls his eyes. âThey make everything 10,000 times more difficult. Eating, talking - I bite my tongue like⌠five times an hour⌠and theyâre just hideous- I mean- why on the outside of my face?!â
âHey, hey - first of all theyâre not hideous, donât say stuff like that. Youâre just not fully used to them yet. As for everything else, thatâs just dental recovery, bud. I mean, yours is a special case, sure, but all your symptoms are normal!â
âHow the fuck would you know?â
I smile, setting the pliers down.
âWhen I was in my 20âs I had to get my wisdom teeth taken out. All four of âem. I knew it was important, I knew I had to do it, but you wanna know what I did?â
Simon tries to look disinterested, but he takes the bait.
âWhat.â
âI waited. Years. Like, four years. I was in excruciating pain all the time, they were growing in crooked, and bashing into other teeth and impacting them- oh it was a nightmare. Once I finally bit the bullet and got them all removed, and got all the teeth I messed up in the process fixed, you wanna know how long it took for me to fully heal up?â
ââŚHow longâŚâ
âTwo. Years. Two years! My jaw was so sore and jacked up the first six months alone, my brother had to feed me soup like a baby. I couldnât talk, eat, sleep comfortably, or use a straw for at least 3/4 of that time. And I managed to give myself a dry socket at some point too⌠beside the point. What Iâm saying is, I get it. Itâs normal. And my dental work was internal.â
ââŚWhy the hell did you wait so long?â
âIâm scared of the dentist- is that really what you gleaned from my story? My dentophobia?â
âIs that a word?â
âI promise it is.â I chuckle, reaching across the table to catch Simonâs hand before he instinctively scratches at his face again.
He groans. âSorry.â
âDonât be sorry, just be careful.â I smile, releasing his hand, and going back to my work.
Simon nods slowly.
âItâd be so much easier if I could just-â he snaps his fingers. âGet rid of them. Have a symmetrical face againâŚâ
He sighs, carefully watching me pull and yank at old nails, wiggling them out slowly but surely.
âSymmetry is so overrated. Youâve got character this way. I would have killed to look that cool as a kid.â I smile.
Simon hums softly.
I take a look at the clock mounted on the lab wall. Itâs getting to be evening - not that it matters in space anyway.
âWhy donât I make us some ramen?â I suggest, sitting upright on my stool. âItâs soft and easy to eat. Wonât irritate your jaw.â
Simon chuckles. âEverything we eat out here is soft.â
âWrong. You ever try uncooked ramen?â
âRaw?!â
âYeah, with the seasoning backet sprinkled over it? Itâs great! Itâs like a bag of chipsâl
âEuchâŚâ
âOh come on, itâs the same thing as cooked ramen, just dehydrated! Itâs not bad!â
Simon wrinkles his nose.
âWhatever, hater. Go wash up while I get supper ready.â
-
Itâs been fifteen minutesâŚ
Thankfully our soup was well insulated in the food heating system, so I wasnât nexissarily worried about dinner getting cold.
I was concerned about what could possibly be taking so long.
âGrace!â
âWoah-! Rocky! Hey bud- w-where have you been? I havenât seen you for hours.â
Iâd been so lost in thought I hadnât even heard Rockyâs thundering hamster ball careening down the hall⌠somehow.
âRocky working up in cockpit.â
âOn what..?â
âThird chair. Rocky make chair for Rocky!â
I tilt my head, hands on my hips.
âYou already had a chair, buddy- yours was the copilot seat. What, you donât wanna be my copilot anymore?â
âRocky still copilot. Two copilots now! Rocky give human chair to Simon, and Rocky build new chairthat can accommodate ball!â
I smile. Honestly, thatâs really sweet of him.
âOhhh Rocky thatâs really nice of you to give your old chair to Simon, Iâm sure heâll really appreciate it.â
âGood good good.â
Roxky shifts around proudly in his ball, trilling softly.
âSpeaking of Simon⌠heâs taking forever to come up to eat.â
âWhy, question?â
âI dunno! I sent him down to wash up almost 20 minutes agoâŚâ
Rocky stands still, a stream of clicks echoing through the hamster ball.
âRock, you donât have to spy on him Iâm sure heâs alright-â
âRocky see Simon in bathroom in dorm.â
âW-what? Still?â
âSitting on floor, statement.â
My heart sinks. âOn the floor?â
Rocky trills in reply.
âCannot see much else. Very still.â
âLike- alive still? Or passed out still?â
âCannot tell, statement.â
I hufff, hesitating for a moment, before starting off to the dorm.
âRocky come too, question?â
âN-no bud, you stay up here for now. Iâll call if I need you. I donât wanna overwhelm him.â I call over my shoulder as I jog through the lab to the hatch.
I pass the table I had been sitting at with Simon e just a little while ago. Everything was, for the most part, in placeâŚ
But my pliers were missingâŚ
-
âSimon? Simon! Where are you, man?! Your noodles are getting cold!â
âŚno reply.
I crawl down the ladder, doing my best to be as quiet as I can.
âSimon..?â I reach the landing, standing still, waiting for any sign of life.
Thereâs a rustle from the bathroom. Found him.
âIâm coming in, bud⌠just- just a warningâŚâ
âN-noâŚâ
I freeze. Thatâs Simonâs voice for sure, but he sounds different⌠weak, maybe.
âNot an option.â I donât mean to sound as stern as I do.
I take a deep breath, and approach the open bathroom, knocking on the wall to announce myself before turning the corner.
Oh my god⌠oh my god oh my godâŚ
âH-holy crap- Simon?!â
The hunched, heaving figure in the corner doesnât reply.
I can see red, but I canât see the source. Itâs on him, thereâs some streaked on the floor, and heâs got his hands clenched by his face.
Heâs got something.
âSIMON-! Simon, drop it, NOW!â
I shout, rushing into the room barely large enough for one person, let alone two.
I nearly slip on a small, slick puddle of blood, steadying myself on either wall, before dropping down in front of Simon, who Iâm not even sure is fully aware that Iâm here.
Heâs breathing heavily, so much so that heâs growling upon every exhale. His eyes are wide, looking through me, rather than at me, both hands, real and prosthetic, grotesquely sparkling with blood, wrapped around some kind of tool.
My pliers.
The bloodâs coming from his mouth⌠the teeth on the side of his face.
âSimon, listen to me⌠drop the pliers. Now.â I plead with him, desperately trying to keep my voice calm and even.
I want to reach for the pliers, but any number of things could happen if I make the wrong move here.
I could jab him in the face, I could accidentally aid in removing whatever heâs got a hold on - anything could happen. My safest bet was to talk him down.
âSimon. Can you hear me? I need to know that you can hear me.â I shuffle closer to him. My knees streaked red, but I donât care.
I carefully raise my hands, opting to take Simon by the shoulders in an attempt to ground him.
âIâm here to help you - Iâm not here to do anything but help you.â
âYou canât help me.â
âYes I can! Let me try!â
âThereâs NOTHING YOU CAN DO.â
He lurches at me, and I tumble backwards, landing on my elbows.
Simon lets go of the pliers with the stronger, xenonite hand, using it to prop himself up above me. Thatâs progress. Heâs only holding them with his thumb and two fingers nowâŚ
âSimon-â
âNOTHING.â He grits through his teeth, blood dribbling down his chin, landing like raindrops on my thankfully red shirt.
âTry me, Simon! I canât help you if you donât tell me how I can!â I can feel my heart pounding through my chest.
âI want them gone.â Simonâs voice is deep, manic.
âYou want what goneâŚ?â
He grips the pliers tighter.
âY-your teeth! Ok, understood, youâve want them goneâŚâ
âI look like a monsterâŚâ
âNo, you donât, I promise you donâtâŚâ
âI want it all gone, Grace⌠I want the gills gone, I want my face back⌠I want these fuckin⌠teethâŚâ
He sits up, gripping the pliers with both hands again, eyes squeezing shut.
âNO-! NO NO, SIMON, STOP!â I sit up, grabbing Simonâs wrists, desire my better judgment.
âI JUST WANNA BE NORMAL AGAIN. I DONâT WANT TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE ALL THE FUCKING TIME.â His voice breaks, slurred through his gritted teeth.
âOKAY, T-THATâS REASONABLE! JUST- LET GO SO WE CAN TALK!â I plead, doing my best to pull his arms outward to release pressure on whatever tooth heâs got a hold on.
âWHY DOES IT FUCKINâ MATTER TO YOU?! YOU DONâT KNOW THE HALF OF THE PAIN IâM CONSTANTLY IN.â
âEXPLAIN IT TO ME, SIMON! IâM ASKING TO UNDERSTAND!â I shout, putting everything I have into dislodging the pliers.
Simon is much stronger than I am, especially on adrenaline.
Brute force alone isnât enough⌠I have to think of something else.
I look at my hand, streaked with Simonâs blood, and I have an idea. Understanding the risk of injury to myself, and more importantly, to Simon, but itâs my best shot.
I weigh my options, deciding itâs worth a try.
I loosen my grip with my left hand, letting Simon gain control of the pliers. I ease up with my right hand as well, lowering the resistance between us.
I swipe my hand upward, as though I slipped, sliding my palm against the hook of the pliers, hissing in âpainâ and yanking both my hands away, holding my left tight.
âAH-! Crap-!â I wince, looking down at my unscathed hand, groaning and hunching over.
âGRACE-!â As Iâd hoped, Simonâs attention diverts to me, and he reaches a hand out to me, lowering the pliers with the other.
I grab his arm tight, yanking him towards me, flipping both of us over, landing Simon on his back, stunned.
Both my hands find Simonâs wrists, pinning them to the floor. The xenonite elbow joint hisses and clicks in protest, and I make a note to take a look at the damage is no doubt caused later.
âDrop the pliers.â
âWHAT THE FUCK?!â
âNOW. DROP THEM.â I shout.
Simon winces, opening his hand, letting the bloody tool fall to the ground.
I flick them away with two fingers, and they skitter across the floor, out of Simonâs reach.
âHow much damage is there.â
âGet o-â
âAnswer my questions, or I will put you under and look for myself.â
âIs that a treat?â
âItâs a promise. What did you do with the pliers, Simon?â
ââŚtwo.â
âJesusâŚâ
âThey were coming out anyway.â
âWhat?!0
âThey were already loose.â
âYou can regenerate teeth?!â
âYes.â
âWhat..? Whatever, Fine, fine- then why are you bleeding so much?!â
âThey werenât completely loose.â
I can feel my stomach turn.
âLet me see.â
Simon narrows his eyes at me.
âIâm trying to help you, let me see the extractions, so I know how I can help you.â
He hesitates.
âOpen.â
Slowly, Simon loosens his jaw, opening his mouth. The left side opens just a little wider to account for the extra teeth behind what used to be his molars.
I can see two, dark, reddish black sockets among the spiked teeth. They werenât too big, nut they werenât the cleanest extractions either.
The surrounding tissue was red, swollen, and littered with pokes and nicks from the pliers - failed attempts to grip onto a tooth.
I grab Simonâs chin, tilting his head to catch the low light at a few different angles, making sure I havenât missed anything.
âTwo extractions, no fragmented teeth left behind ⌠minor abrasions in the gums and surrounding tissueâŚâ I sigh, releasing Simonâs face.
Simon rests his head back on the floor, closing his mouth again, and I sit up on his hips, taking a long breath.
âThat the fuck were you thinking?!â
âWoah-â Simon flinches, looking up at me like Iâm out of my mind.
âDo you have any idea how much danger you could have put yourself in?! Any idea at all?!â
ââŚâ
âWhat if you struck a larger vein? W-what if you gave yourself some crazy infection that neither myself nor Armando could handle?!â
âGracie, I-â
âThereâs a nonzero chance that you couldâve⌠I-⌠how many⌠never mind.â
âWhat?â
âNothing, never mind, I do t wanna know.â
âWhat were you gonna ask? You want me to talk things out, letâs start here.â Simon says softly.
âFine. How many times have you done this? How many times, while I have been busy, sleeping, or otherwise occupied, have you been down here mutilating yourself to make yourself less of a monster that you never were to begin with?!â
ââŚNever.â
âBull.â
âI promise, Ryland, Iâm being honest.â
âYouâre not just saying that because the teeth have grown back, and if never know the difference?â
âNo.â
I sigh, nodding my head slowly.
âPlease donât ever do this again.â
âOkayâŚâ
âIâm serious.â
âI know.â
âYou scared the hell out of me.â
ââŚIâm sorry.â
âNo⌠no, donât be sorry, itâs selfish of me to make this about how I feel- câmon, sit up.â
I scoot myself back, freeing Simonâs legs from under mine, and he sits up slowly.
The moment heâs upright, I reach out, and pull him into a hug. The tightest Iâd ever held him.
Simonâs hands find my back, holding me just as tight, his head buried in my shoulder.
âAre you in pain?â
âNot really⌠just sore.â
âAdrenalineâŚâ
âNoâŚâ
âNo?â
âNo, remember I said they were already on their way out? Besides the initial⌠resistance, there was barely any pain. Kinda like a paper cut. Doesnât hurt a lot, bleeds like a gunshot.â
âOkay- Simon you donât have to explain this to me right now- we can do this later.â I pat him on the back a few times.
âItâs find. Talking through it helps. R emember the eel tooth I gave you?â Simon pulls back from the hug, and points to the xenonite pendant on my chest with a tilt of his head.
I look down as well, lifting the pendant in the palm of my hand to take a closer look at it.
âSee how the root is shorter? Thats exactly how my teeth look. Theyâre not embedded as deeply as human teeth are.â
Heâs got a point. At the top of the curved, saber tooth, is a short, flat root, barely half an inch long.
âFair enough⌠ok, fair enough.â I let the pendant drop back down to my chest. âShouldnât be too hard to patch you up then⌠câmon.â
I release Simon, and stand up, brushing the wrinkles from my shirt.
âBut⌠The bathroom- I- shouldnât I clean this up first?â
âIâll handle it later.â
âGrace, I fucked everything up in here, I can clean it myself.â
I sigh shaking my head. âI said Iâll handle it later. I really donât want you in here by yourself any more than absolutely necessary. Itâs fine, I scrubbed the whole ship clean of ocean blood, I can handle half of a half bath.â I extend my hand down to Simon, with a thin lipped smile.
He hesitates for a moment, opening his mouth as if to protest. He thinks better of it, nodding, and accepting my hand. ďżź
ďżź
-
âOkay, swish this around and spit it back out.â
âWhy do I have to spit it out?â
âItâs salt water with peroxide.â
âWhat-? Is that safe?â
âWhatâre you worried about safety for? Didnât you tell me you drank isopropyl alcohol?â
âSame thing as the stuff you drink.â
ââŚvodka? Ethanol? No, not the same at all. A-anyway, yes, peroxide is perfectly safe fo sterilization purposes. Itâs just water with an extra hydrogen atom. H2O2. It will upset your stomach if you swallow it though, especially mixed with salt and blood.â
I hand Simon a warm plastic cup, and he takes it, covering the toothy half of his face with a hand, sealing any gaps as he swishes the water around.
He winces - fron the sting of the salt in the extraction site, and whatever little nicks and cuts heâd made around his mouth, I imagine - and spits the now bright scarlet solution back into the cup.
âYeah⌠doesnât feel great, I know. But itâll keep the area clean. Iâm gonna have you do that twice a day until the new teeth starts coming in, and the internal cuts heal up, just to minimize infection risk.â
Simon nods, watching me set down a bucket of steaming, soapy water, only filled an out a quarter of the way for conservation sake.
âShirt please.â
I have Simon seated on the dorm floor, with a few towels draped over his lap, and on the floor under him, hair tied back in my best attempt at a bun.
He slid off the black t-shirt without protest, setting it down beside him.
Thankfully there wasnât too much blood on his chest or torso.
I think being in a dim, dark bathroom made everything look worse than it was. The majority seemed to have soaked into the collar of the shirt, concentrating the thicker streaks to his face, jaw, neck, and a few smatterings on his collar.
His hand was washed, and his prosthetic was removed to be properly repaired and sanitized. I could make quick work of the rest.
I wring out the sponge, bringing it up to Simonâs shoulder.
I donât touch him until he gives me the cue to do so. Once he nods, I gently scrub away at the red streaks.
âI uh⌠I donât know, I guess I thought it would make me look more normalâŚâ
I raise a brow.
âWhatâs up?â
âTaking the teeth out, I mean⌠I dunno.â
OhâŚ
âAh, okay. I can live with that reasoning. A little skewed, butâŚâ
âWhat do you mean?â
âIâll give you two answers - one from a scientist, and one from a friend.â I dip the sponge again.
âLetâs say for a sec that your teeth didnât regenerate, and you wanted to remove them all, given your current condition.â I start, scrubbing away at the top of Simonâs chest. âThe extraction points would be visible from the outside, based on how those teeth are rooted, and once the wounds healed and closed, the scarring would most likely leave dents in your cheeks and jaw. Not to mention, youâd probably be in a world of pain⌠I donât know what you consider ânormalâ, but that surely wouldnât be it.â
Simon hums in thought.
âNow, as your friend, I really donât think thereâs any need to get rid of your teeth at all. Simple as that.â
âWhy? I mean, thank you, but theyâre so obtrusive, and they get in the wayâŚâ
âSame with my arm. My acid burnt arm, neck, and chest. Iâve lost so much feeling in the most random little areas, the skin is rough and tight and discolored and dry⌠but itâs part of me now. Ryland on earth would probably hate the way Ryland in space looks with a broiled body - or maybe heâd love it, I dunno, heâs a strange fella - but regardless, itâs part of me, my body, and my story. The series of scars tells a crucial story about how I got here⌠why Iâm still alive, and what Iâve endured to still be breathing today.â
I tilt Simonâs head to the side to remove the blood from his jaw and beard.
âAnd the same goes for your scars, aand your mutations. Like yeah, old Simon didnât ask for saber teeth, two sets of gills, one red eye, and a missing arm, but without gills, you would have drowned! That alone is incredible! Look at how much weâve been able to learn about you through the changes your bodyâs endured! I- I mean itâs incredible! You can breathe fhrough four different parts of your body, youâve got teeth that can rip through metal, dude- youâre a biological marvel! You could be from Marvel!â I smile, pulling back for a moment to assess my work. He was nearly clean.
Simon ponders my words for a while.
ââŚThank you, Grace, I- I really do appreciate what youâre saying-â
âButâŚâ
âBut⌠even still- I just feel like I look scary. Thatâs not- I donât think it represents me anymore.â
âScary? Yâthink?â I frown.
âYeah⌠right?â
âIf thatâs really what youâre worried about, youâre a good looking guy, Simon. And thatâs with scars and mutations. Good looking people tend to look even better with battle scars.â
ââŚWhat?â
âIâm being serious! How many movies have we watched with protagonists that take hit after hit, bump after bruise, and by the climax of the story, they look like the most powerful person in existence?â
âThose are movies. Thatâs fiction.â
âI could be convinced that youâre a movie protagonist like that.â I shrug, setting my fists on my hips.
Simon lets out a quiet, amused chuckle, which Iâm ecstatic to hear.
âIâm just sayinâ⌠I know Iâm biased here, but I donât think you need âsymmetryâ or stupid boring average features to be normal. Youâre cool! You look cool, Simon.â
ââŚThank youâŚâ
âDonât mention it⌠plus, I mean youâve got fanged canines, which is like⌠objectively attractiveâŚâ
âWhat?â
âNothing.â
âNo, I genuinely didnât near you. You know my hearingâs shot.â
I clear my throat, willing away the red heat on the tips of my ears, and reaching back for the sponge, squeezing it a few times to reignite the suds.
âJust talking to myself. Anyway, Iâm just about done⌠and now you smell like lavender, thanks to whatever infinite shelf life NASA soap they sent me out here with.â
ââNowâ? You sayinâ I smelled bad before?â
Yes. Like iron, sweat, and man. But Iâd never say it like that.
âYou said it, not me.â
âWhat?!â
âHey! Iâm just sayinâŚâďżź
âOh come on! Gimme a break, Iâm aquaphobic. Rocky gets to walk around smelling like cat piss all the time, and you donât say shit!â
âAmmonia, first of all, ok? Itâs not cat urine, Rocky doesnât even know what a cat is.And besides, thatâs not his fault. His atmosphere is made of ammonia- and he doesnât have an olfactory system, so he canât smell anyway.â I huff.
âThatâs probably why he still hangs out with your funky butt when you havenât showered in days, stinkfish.â I chuckle, making a few final passes with the sponge over the side of Simonâs neck. I take extra care around his gills, though I can see his shoulder twitch.
âStinkfish is ridiculous.â
âYou know It was funny.â
Simon huffs, shaking his head.
âOh- see?! You laughed! Told you!â
âThat wasnât laughter, I exhaled at you.â
âWhatâre you a bull?â I raise both index fingers to the sides of my head, letting out a heavy huff like an angry bull.
Simon gives me a thin lipped smile. Tough crowdâŚ
âOh come on, thatâs a weak one. Letâs see that pretty smile with all those pretty teeth.â I snicker.
âAbsolutely not.â
âPlease?!â
He rolls his eyes at me.
Abandoning the sponge in the bucket beside us, I take Simonâs face in both my hands.
âGet the hell off me Gracie.â
âOne smile. For the both of us. Câmoooon.â
Simon narrows his eyes at me.
With the tips of my fingers on both hands, I gently scratch behind Simonâs ears, whatching his poker face shift just about as fast as the iodine clock reaction.
âGrahahAhahace! Get the hell away from me-!â
He rounds his back, shrugging his shoulders up.
âOh! Oh, whatâs this?! I think weâre getting somewhere!â
Simon attempts to grab both my wrists, only managing to grab one, forgetting heâs currently short one hand with his prosthetic missing.
âOhhh, tough luck, buddy, your shields are down by half, womp womp!â I move one hand up to gently scritch along the spiked shell of Simonâs altered ear, tracing the fin-like shape as though I were trying to commit it to memory, and rolling the sturdy spiked tips between my fingers.
âAAAAahahahAHA- s-shIHIHIT- A-AH- AH-!â
Simon snorts, tucking his chin down towards his chest.
âNuh-uh. No no no, Look up, look at me.â I purr, tilting my head to stay in his sight line.
âShut uhUHUHUP-! Fuckinâ asshole!â Simon hisses.
âUp up, Simon, câmon. My face is up here- lemme see yours!â I move one hand to his chin, tilting it up with a little resistance. He finally relents, keeping his face straight with mine.
He wears a reluctant, wobbly smile - still trying to hold himself together, but for what reason, I really was t sure.
Thatâs alright. Easy fix.
Without warning, I shoot my hands down under Simonâs arms, scratching against the uppermost rungs of his ribs.
âAaAAAHAHA-! WHAHAHA?!â Simon shrieks, wobbling backwards, rolling onto his back.
I follow him down, skittering lower, down his ribs.
âThere we go! Look at that handsome smile! Tktktktktk!â I bring a hand down to his knee, squeezing the muscle just above it over and over.
âSHUHUHUT UP! A-AHAHAAAAAA- UUURGHAHAHA!â Simon growls through his laughter, thrashing around under my hands.
âSettle down, jeez! Youâre gonna kick me in the nose!â
âGOOHOHOD.â
I gasp. âYou would never.â I give Simonâs side a pinch, earning me a sharp jolt.
Simon lifts a leg at me like a cat gearing up to swipe.
âI wish you would!â I playfully threaten.
He kicks blindly - not quick enough to hurt me, if it were to land, of course.
I catch him by the ankle, turning my back to Simon, and putting his ankle in a headlock.
âNO! M-NONO WAIT- WAIT- I- IâM SORRY-!â
âYouâre sorry you got caught, dummy.â I smile over my shoulder at him. âIâm a twin for Peteâs sake- you think I donât know how to catch a kick?â I chuckle.
With my free hand I suddenly rake at the bottom of Simonâs socked foot, playing a little rougher than I usually do.
âGood evening, Simon.â Mary replies through the intercoms.
âStop bothering Mary, man, I already promised I would stop.â I sit up beside Simon, allowing him to catch his breath.
âUuuuuuUUUGH.â
I smile, giving him a squeeze on the shoulder. âYou alright?â
âMhmâŚâ
I nod, smiling rather fondly at him.
ââŚwhy are you staring at me like that?â
âIâm just sitting here!â
âSmiling like an idiot! What?!â
âNothing! Itâs nice to see you smile!â
âOh shut up.â
âWhat! Iâm being serious! Youâve had a tough day! Ohhh what is it a crime to wanna see you happy?!â
âWhyâre you being so saccharine sweet right now?â
âIâm not!â
âYes, you are!â
âI think youâve just been so mean to yourself all day, youâve forgotten how love, care, and kindness are supposed to feel, you semi-aquatic storm cloud.â I jab him in the navel to punctuate my point.
Simon jolts with a strangled wheeze.
âWhoâs the last person to actually treat you with kindness, hm?â
Simon is silent for a while, pondering, while I patiently wait, sitting crisscross beside him.
ââŚâ
âWow, seriously? The barâs so low itâs in hell, huhâŚâ I mutter.
âDo you count?â
ââŚYou have to be joking.â
âIâm being serious!â
âNo! Before me! Pre-Hail Mary!â
ââŚâ
âNo one?!â
âNothing springs to mindâŚâ
âMan⌠no wonder youâre so tough on yourselfâŚâ
Simon shrugs.
âWeâre hopelessâŚâ I joke, shaking my head.
âHang on, who the fuck is âweâ?â
âUs. Simon Fisher and Ryland Grace.â
âIâm not hopeless, Iâm a work in progress. I just have my moments.â
I give him a look.
âAnd today was one of those moments.â Simon mutters.
ââŚâ
ââŚâ
âIâm really the last person in recent memory to be nice to you?â
âIn all memory.â
ââŚjeez.â
âYeah.â
âHowâs it feel?â
âSo bizarre.â
âReally?â
âYeah- before, any positive interaction was uh⌠yâknow, was expected to go both ways.â
âTransactional.â
âExactly. I do something for you, you give me something back. Problem is, if youâre too nice, you end up getting ripped off, taken advantage of⌠So itâs not entirely a matter of everyone just being as asshole. You learn to keep your guard up. Safety, and all that.â
âMan, thatâs brutal.â
âMhm.â
ââŚâ
âYou donât⌠feel like that here, do you? Like youâre indebted to us, or feel like you need to stay on guard?â
âNo, no⌠not anymore.â
âAnymore?!â
âWell I didnât know what I was up against before, or who you were⌠I- I dunno, it took time to trust you, but I can comfortably say that I do now.â
I nod slowly, eyes fixed on the floor. Thereâs a melancholy sort of happiness in my chest that Iâm unsure of how to emote.
âIâm still coming around emotionally⌠evidently⌠but for what itâs worth, youâre the first person in my life that I feel like I can trust not to stab me through the back of I turn around. And maybe thatâs because you saved my- oh- ohhhh shit⌠GracieâŚâ
I sniffle, wiping my eye with my sleeve.
âN-no, no itâs- Iâm fine⌠I told you Iâm a crier.â I chuckle through my wavering voice, smiling down at Simon.
Simon snickers, sitting up slowly, opening his arm out.
I fall into the offered hug, a bit dramatically, but the sets par for the course.
âYâknow, now that I think about it, I really didnât get a lot of hugs back home eitherâŚâ Simon mutters, wrapping an arm around my back.
âOh come on, now youâre just trying to make me cry.â
Simon shrugs. âI mean⌠itâs kinda funnyâŚâ
âOhhh you jerk!â I scoff, dropping my hands down to Simonâs hips, digging my thumbs into the bone like drill bits.
âSHIHIHIT-! A-AHAHAHA- OKAHAHAY!â Simon wriggles, trying his hardest to get away.
He manages to turn, but I catch him around the waist before he can scamper away.
The tractionless towels on the floor give way under his feet, and he tumbles onto his side.
âUnbelievable.â I tut, shaking my head. âYou think itâs funny, huh?â
I push Simon down onto his stomach, giving him barely a second to catch up before I latch onto his ribs, scratching with purpose.
âA-AHAHAHAHA-!! I- IM SOHOHORRY!!â
ââHilarious! Grace cares about me so much it makes him cry!â Thats what you sound like.â
I rake my fingers up and down Simonâs ribs, feeling the seams of his gills close tight under my nails.
âWhatâs that? I canât really understand youâŚâ
I turn my wrists so that my fingers scratch against the grain of Simonâs gills, my nails every so often briefly catching on the edge of the plates, not enough to lift them, but definitely enough for him to feel it.
âAAAAAA- *hic* AHAHAHAHAHAHA- GRAAAAHAHAHACE! A-AH AH-! I SAID IâM SORRY! *hic* OHOHOH GOHOHOD!!â
âHa! Aw, youâve got the hiccups?!â I chuckle, moving down to the lowest pair of gills.
âY- *hic* YES- YEHEHES-! I DUHUHUNNO WHYHYHY-!â
âDiaphragmatic spasms. They can easily be triggered by excessive laughter. Makes total sense.â I shrug.
âY-YOUâRE SU- *hic* SUCH A FUCKIN MEHEHRD, MY GOHOHOD. STOOOHOHOP!â
I finally bring my hands to a stop, sliding them up to Simonâs back.
âDonât you *hic!* dare.â
âNo, no, Iâm done, promise. Let me try something. For your hiccups.â
âWhat- ouuughâŚâ Simon groans, his body relaxing into the floor as I dig the heels of my hands into the muscle, slowly sliding upward.
âRelaxing your diaphragm with firm pressure⌠it relaxes the diaphragm, encouraging the spasming to stop.â Suddenly, I lift my hands away, folding them against my chest, though he canât see with his head faced down.
âBut I guess if itâs too nerdy, I wonât use my understanding of anatomy to help you.â I shrug.
âN-no no⌠*hic* Iâm sorry, itâs not nerdy, Gracie⌠Mâsorry.â He mumbles with an oddly desperate whine.
Oh how couldnât I smile at that? I canât help but wonder how many other people had the privilege of his trust the way I do right now⌠if anyone at all.
âAlright then.â I replace my hands on Aimonâs back, gently working the muscles around his diaphragm, wincing at just how tense he was.â
âYouâve gotta start stretching, Si⌠youâre wound tight like a guitar string.â
âI do. *hic* I just hold onto a lot of stress.â He grumbles.
âA knot or two is stress. This is insane.â I shake my head, continuing to coax Simonâs muscles to settle and relax.
Little more than a few minutes pass, and Simonâs hiccups fade.
âBetter?â
âMhmâŚâ Simon mumbles.
His arm is bent at the elbow, supporting his head, which is turned to the side, eyes closed and relaxed.
âSleepy?â
He groans in reply.
I carefully climb off of him, beginning to gather up the long forgotten towels, bucket, and sponge, sliding them away to be properly dealt with later.
âWell you canât sleep on the floorâŚâ
âWatch me.â Simon mumbles.
âNot a challenge. Câmon- just- at least get up on the bed down here. I wonât make you go all the way upstairs.â
âThaâs your bed though.â
âMhm. Itâs better I keep an eye on you tonight anyway.â
I take a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling the quilt back, and patting the mattress.
âCâmon. You sleep, I watch.â
Simon doesnât move for a moment, only offering me a heavy sigh. Before long, he groggily stands himself up, shuffling over to the bed.
I smile, letting Simon take the space between myself and the wall, and he plops down like a sack of potatoes.
A small, wall mounted light is perched above the night table - I flick it on, and pick up the book on the table.
âMary, dorm lights off, please.â
âDormitory lights: off.â
The room falls into dim, warm light from the fixture beside me. Simon sighs quietly, turning over, and resting his head on my shoulder, his body just about as close to me as possible without his atoms passing straight through mine.
I wormmy arm behind him, combing idly through his hair, along his scalp.
âGrace..â
âHm?â
ââŚIâm sorry. About earlierâŚâ
âPlease donât start with the apologies again.â I sigh.
âI- I justâŚâ
âThereâs absolutely no reason for you to apologize for a mental breakdown you couldnât control, okay? Get that out of your head. Itâs okay.â
ââŚâ
âAll I ask is that the next time you feel like youâre on the edge of your tipping point - for any reason- come to me.â I say softly. âI will always be here for you, but I canât help to my fullest potential if you donât let me.â
âMâsorry...â
âNo, no sorry. Just say âokayâ.â
ââŚokay.â
I smile, gently scratching the back of Simonâs head. âGood. Now go to sleep.â
Simon sighs, relaxing into the silence.
ââŚAngel?â
âHuman?â
âLove youâŚâ
I feel my heart swell. How many people has he said that to before?
Better question, how many people have ever said it to him..?
tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and tickles and cuddles and
AN: Iâm baaack! Sorry I havenât been posting as much as I used to, but Iâve still been dealing with a lot personally. But the project hail mary/iron lung hype finally got me back in the game lmao. I couldnât let yâall have all the fun!
This is the winner from that one poll awhile back, so hope you enjoy! Iâm hoping to get back into writing & posting more frequently, but that all depends on how kind life is to me. Kinda not wild about the ending, so be nice
From the moment Simon gained consciousness on the Hail Mary, he was cursing. "Fuck" was practically his favorite word, but only the other human aboard the ship could understand the expletives grumbled under his breath. Not that Simon was aware. That damn rock understood just about everything else; why would swearing be such a foreign concept?
Rocky was deeply familiar with Eridian swears and insults, but Grace hadn't been too keen on adding their translations.
"The last thing I need is for you to cuss me out. You already call me stupid on a daily basis," he teased with a chuckle, but Rocky didn't find it as funny.
"Rocky need space, statement," he said, turning around in his ball and walking away.
"C'mon Rock, don't be like that," Grace called out after him.
Rocky paused, rolling closer to his friend as he answered. "Rocky check on Simon. Will be back later."
"Oh, okay," Grace accepted the answer easily enough. He opened his mouth as if to add something, but stopped himself short. "Ah, nevermind," he waved a hand, as if in dismissal.
The movement caught Rocky's attention. "Nevermind what, question?"
Grace shook his head. "It's stupid."
"Okay!" Rocky chirped in agreement, about to head on his way, when Grace's voice stopped him once more.
"Just- make sure he knows he's allowed to go wherever he wants. He only really hangs out in the green room and observation deck, and I just want him to feel comfortable here."
"Rocky tell him!" he agreed before rolling down the hall.
~~~
Simon could hear Rocky coming a mile away. The loud thunking wasn't exactly stealthy.
"Simon!" he exclaimed, announcing his presence. Said man looked over, arching a brow quizzically.
"Rocky..." he answered, unsure what the alien wanted. They rarely interacted one on one, mostly due to Simon's own hesitance.
"Rocky need favor, statement," he said, cutting to the chase. Simon tried not to appear as tense as he felt.
"... Well, that depends. What's the favor?"
Rocky rolled his ball further into the room, moving closer to Simon, but still keeping a small distance between them.
"Need new words," Rocky admitted, carapace lowered in something akin to disappointment or frustration.
Simon snorted. "Do I look like a fuckin' dictionary? Go ask Grace," he dismissed, but Rocky wasn't having it.
"No!" he stomped to assert his point. "Grace not share human bad words! Those are words Rocky need!"
Simon was hiding a smile behind his hand, holding back amused laughter. "Is that so?"
Rocky went still, his voice monotonous. "Simon laugh at Rocky."
Great, now he felt bad.
"No I'm not!" Simon denied, but Rocky continued to stare. "I was⌠laughing at Grace," he insisted. Rocky took a few steps closer.
"Why, question?"
"Because he's a such a nerdy goody two shoes," he said, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "I mean, who gatekeeps curse words from an alien?"
"Hm. Don't understand," Rocky said, hoping for clarification.
"What, gatekeep? It's slang for withholding information," he explained.
Rocky hopped up and down, stomping his feet with excitement. "Yes! Grace gatekeep!"
"Well that's just not fair," Simon agreed, allowing his infectious energy to rub off on him. He walked over to grab the nearby laptop and translator, placing it in his lap as he sat back down. "So, how 'bout we start with the worst ones and work our way down from there."
~~~
"With insults, they're more or less interchangeable, but it depends on the situation."
"Hm. Need example."
Simon shifted, leaning his left side against Rocky's ball for support. "Okay... so say we're both walking down the street and I bump into you without saying excuse me. I'm being an asshole. But if I see you walking and go out of my way to run into you, then I'm being a dick."
"Dick worse than asshole, question?"
The phrasing was so unexpected, Simon couldn't help but burst into laughter, nodding, "Yeah, you got it bud! But really, it's a matter of what feels right in the moment."
"Rocky need more examples." He didn't really, but this was the most he'd heard the new human speak, and as it turns out, he was rather funny.
"Ohokay, okay, here's one. So if you tell me to do something and I refuse for a stupid reason, I'm being a whiny little bitch. Got that?"
"Whiny little bitch," Rocky repeated, beaming with pride at his expanded vocabulary.
"You think you got it, or you want me to keep going?"
"Rocky understands now."
"Glad I could help," Simon said, patting the glass of his ball as Rocky rolled by.
Before he left, Rocky paused in the doorway. "Simon, question?"
"Yeah?" he cocked his head, glancing over at him.
"Why Simon not leave room, question?"
Simon sighed. He figured it wouldn't be long until one of them asked that question. He rarely left the onboard greenhouse ever since he'd first laid eyes on it.
"I just really like this room," he shrugged.
"Bullshit, statement."
Simon's lips quirked into a tight smile. "Already putting those words to good use I see," he said, hoping to deflect. When Rocky didn't respond, he continued, "Where I came from, we only had one tree left. And when it finally died, that was it. So seeing so many plants- alive and in space, thriving... I don't know. It just feels comforting, I guess."
Rocky thought for a moment before speaking. "Is same reason Simon leak when see stars, question?"
Simon's breath hitched in his throat. He wasn't expecting the conversation to take such a turn after their crash course in Swearing 101. He nodded, voice barely above a whisper, "Yeah..."
He flinched when he felt something touch his leg, looking up to see Rocky reaching through the mesh panel to rest a comforting claw on his knee.
"Grace, Rocky save stars! Save plants!" he explained.
"Yeah, you did..." Simon trailed off, a sad smile on his face as he fought back tears.
He stood abruptly, startling Rocky as he stretched and groaned loudly. "Now if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna go look at those stars," he said, walking off towards one of the large windows.
"Okay. Rocky go share new words with Grace!"
"Go easy on him, tiger," Simon teased from over his shoulder, unsure if Rocky even knew what a tiger was.
Rocky gave a small nod and went in the opposite direction, shouting down the hall as he went, "What the fuck Grace doing, question?"
From further down the hall, another, more confused voice, "What?"
~~~
It hadn't even been an hour before Rocky came back, barreling towards Simon with Grace not far behind.
"Bad, bad bad. Rocky piss off Grace," he said, rolling around Simon to hide behind him.
"Well that was fast," Simon mused, almost impressed. He quickly schooled his features when he noticed Grace standing before him, hands on his hips. His jaw was clenched, foot tapping in annoyance as he awaited an explanation.
"Oh, hey Grace. Sooo... to what do I owe the pleas-"
"You taught him how to swear?" It sounded less like a question, and more of an accusation. Simon didn't see any reason in denying it.
"He asked," he said with a shrug, turning to look out the window to hide his growing smirk.
"Of course he did! But that doesn't mean you give him a whole arsenal!"
"He asked nicely?" Simon tried again, turning back around only to be met with an icy glare. Simon stared down at their companion, brows furrowed, "Jesus, what all did you say?"
Grace didn't give Rocky a chance to answer, "Oh he said plenty."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" he asked, biting back a chuckle.
"Like, "what the fuck are you doing Grace!" "No dumbass!" "Stop being such a whiny little bitch!" "Why Grace so fucking stupid!"" he listed them off one by one, growing more exasperated as both of their amusement became apparent. Simon's shoulders shook with suppressed laughter, having to lean against the wall for support as Rocky let out a few giggly trills.
"Oh, I suppose you two think this is funny," he said, cocking his hip as he shifted his weight.
"Yes!" Rocky cheared before Simon shushed him, reigning in his own reactions. He cleared his throat, donning a serious expression.
"No, you're right. It's not funny," he admitted, waiting until Grace's tense posture slackened from the apology. "It's fuckin' hilarious."
He didn't bother holding back anymore, bursting into loud hysterics.
It was the first time he'd heard Simon really laugh, and it was an infectious, carefree sound. He just didn't like the fact that he was the butt of the joke.
Having no other options to turn to in order to make them shut up, Grace resorted to what he knew best.
"Okay, I'm gonna need you to catch a bubble," he said in his stern "teacher voice."
"What?" Simon wheezed, looking between Grace and Rocky, doubling over. "What does that even mean?"
Grace could feel the heat rising to his cheeks as they continued to mock him, but despite his growing embarrassment, he found it increasingly difficult not to smile.
"Means Simon shut the fuck up, statement," Rocky explained.
"Well that's not very nice," Simon mused, a smug grin tugging at his lips.
"That's why I said catch a freaking bubble!" He had to take a deep breath to calm himself back down. He loved Rocky, and Simon was really growing on him, but gosh darn it did they get on his nerves sometimes.
"Careful there, you almost said a bad word," Simon snickered, fist bumping Rocky through the mesh material of his ball.
"Alright, that's it!" Grace clapped loudly to grab their attention. "Apologize. Both of you," he demanded, pointing sternly at the perpetrators.
"Wha- me?" Simon sputtered, caught off guard by the unexpected request.
"Yes you!" Grace insisted, not backing down from his stance. Simon looked him up and down, relaxing with a smirk.
"Why? What're you gonna do about it?" he taunted, relishing in the way his mouth hung open in shock. "Probably nothing."
"Oh I'm gonna do... something," he threatened weakly.
"Yeah, I'm really shaking in my boots," he drawled, sitting back down on the windowsill.
Grace huffed indignantly. "You're a piece of work, you know that?"
"So I've been told."
Grace rubbed his face from under his glasses, knocking them askew. He hated that Simon was right; he probably would do nothing. It's not like there was much he could do in way of punishment- wait.
A sly smile graced his features, standing up straighter with newfound confidence.
Rocky noticed the shift in demeanor, knowing it could only spell trouble.
"Y'know what? Fine, whatever. Water under the bridge," Grace said, slowly walking closer to his target. Simon only gave a noncommittal hum in response. "Mind if I sit here?" he asked, not waiting for an answer before sitting a bit too close to Simon.
"Simon should run now, statement," Rocky tried to warn, only to be brushed off.
"Nah, don't listen to him. We're good!" As if to prove his point, Grace slung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him even closer.
Simon arched a brow quizzically, leaning back to study the other man's face. Grace caught his eye, flashing an innocent smile.
"Run! Simon! Simon, run!" Rocky tapped against his ball, and maybe he should actually listen to him.
"Uh, yeah, I'm just gonna-" Simon made to stand, only for Grace to pull him back down.
"Hey, where're you goin'? Just relaaaax," he reassured, giving his shoulders a friendly shake.
"Um, okay..." Simon trailed off, trying to scoot away to put some distance between them, but Grace's grip was surprisingly strong. "Are you sure you're not still mad? 'Cause-"
"What? Nooo, no no. If I was mad, would I do this?" he asked, squeezing up and down his side.
Simon flinched beneath the touch, barking out a surprised laugh before slapping his hand over his mouth.
"Why so shy all of a sudden? I thought you wanted to laugh! Or did you only want to do it at my expense?" he teased.
"Noho, that's not- shihihit don't do thahahat!" Simon snorted as he pinched down his side, squeezing his hip.
"Do what?" Grace asked innocently, continuing to knead around his hip. "Oh, this? Or do you mean this?" As he spoke, his hand jumped up to scratch in his armpit, careful not to get too close to the remaining stump. It had fully healed over months ago, but Grace still wanted to be careful.
"GAHAHAH!" Simon let out a giggly scream, jerking away from the touch and further into Grace's embrace. "You bahahastard!"
"Well now, that's uncalled for," Grace said, tweaking his ribs in retaliation. Simon sputtered through his laughter, trying to twist and reach with his right hand to fight him off.
"Ihihit's justified!" he argued, legs kicking and scrambling against the floor for leverage. Grace adjusted his grip, trapping him in a hug from behind and pulling him into his lap.
"Agree to disagree," he said, raking over his ribs with clawed hands. Simon snorted again, louder this time, and immediately tugged his shirt up to hide his growing blush.
Unfortunately, this made his shirt hike up to expose his lower stomach. Well, unfortunate for Simon. For Grace, it was just the opportunity he was looking for.
"AUGH! MOHOHOTHERFUHUHUCKER!" he cackled as a hand slipped beneath his shirt, kneading and scratching at bare skin.
"I wouldn't dream of touching your mother like that!" Grace gasped, giggling at his own joke as Simon growled through his laughter. His face turned a shade darker, but Grace couldn't tell if it was out of embarrassment, or frustration.
"Wihihill you just shut uhuhup?"
Or both.
"No, I don't think I will," he taunted, a smile evident in his tone.
"Nohohow I know why you're a teacher," he began, and Grace paused his movements to let him catch his breath and speak, curious where he was going.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, because you're a smart AHAHAHASS!" His words were cut off by deep, frantic laughter as Grace dug into both pits.
Simon leaned on him for support, conflicted between pressing his arm down, and reaching around to protect his left side. Grace smirked, vibrating a clawed hand into his stomach while the other played his ribs like a piano. Specifically, the left side of his ribs.
Simon threw his head back, mouth open wide as the sound of his mirth echoed throughout the small ship. He twisted back and forth in Grace's arms, unable to dislodge the probing hands as they wandered his torso.
"Grace only tickling Simon's left side," Rocky noted, startling them both at the reminder of his presence.
"Yeah, and?" Grace prompted, continuing to knead and pinch around his ribs.
"Simon only have one arm! Cannot properly defend himself, statement."
How was it that the living rock was the only one looking out for him?
"Yeah, and?" Grace repeated, smug sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Is mean!" Rocky exclaimed, stomping his foot for emphasis.
Grace barked out a laugh of his own, glasses falling askew as he cocked his head towards him.
"Nah, I'm being super nice, right Si?" he asked, rubbing his knuckles up and down his ribcage to prompt an answer. His fingers brushed against the edge of his gills, and Simon snorted loudly, desperately trying to shove him away.
"NOHOHO! Thihis ihihis cruel ahand unusual punishmehehent!" he cried out defiantly.
"I think I prefer the term funishment!" Grace quipped, tracing along the gill slits ever so gently.
"Ohoho brohohother," he groaned, trying his best to sound annoyed, despite the fact that this was the most he's laughed in years, maybe ever. Deep chuckles gave way to pitchy giggles and breathless snorts as Grace continued tracing his gills. Simon abandoned the idea of fighting him off and chose instead to bury his face in his hand, too embarrassed for Grace or Rocky to look at him directly.
C'mohohon, nohohot there!" he all but begged.
"Okay, then where?" Grace asked smugly, catching a glimpse of the blush rapidly spreading across Simon's face from behind his hand.
"Nohohowhere!"
"Sorry, but that answer's invalid."
"YOU'RE invahahalid!" he argued.
Grace can't help but chuckle, rolling his eyes as Rocky chirped in amusement. "Real mature, guys." Still, he supposed that justice had been served by now, finally deciding to grant him mercy...
Right after this.
"So, how do you feel about raspberries?" he asked casually, slowing his hands to a stop, but still trapping him in a hug.
"What, like the fruit?" Simon asked, confused and panting for breath. "Dunno, never had them. Why?"
"Then I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you've never had this kind either." He didn't give him a chance to ask any follow up questions, burying his face in the crook of Simon's neck, blowing a raspberry over the set of gills there.
The scream Simon let out was loud enough it made Rocky jump, backing away a few steps.
"Simon very loud, statement."
Maybe he was delusional from all the tickling, but Simon swore the bastard was teasing him.Â
"GRACE, WHAHAT THEHEHE FUCK?"
"Language!" Grace gasped, feigning shock. He pulled Simon's hair off to the side, allowing easy access to the other side of his neck. "Just for that..." he trailed off, letting the audibly large breath he took speak for itself.
"No wait- dohohon't!" anticapatory giggles fall past his lips as he tries one last time to make a break for it.
If Grace didn't know any better, he'd say he wasn't trying very hard to escape. Interesting.
His lips connected with the other side of his neck, blowing against his gills. Another shrill screech fills the air, dissolving into frantic, bubbly giggles as he tries to scrunch his neck.
"Thihihis ihihisn't FAHAHAIR!" Simon whines, finally managing to shove his face away and knocking his glasses off in the process.
Rocky scrambles to catch them, holding them out for Grace to take as his own amused chuckles die off.
"Thanks bud," he reaches for them, only for Rocky to yank them back at the last second. Grace rolls his eyes and tries again, only to fall for the same trick.
"Serves you right," Simon mutters as he catches his breath, a bright smile still lingering.
Grace still had a proud smirk plastered across his face, shrugging sheepishly. "You okay? I didn't go overboard, did I?" he asked, wanting to make sure he didn't push him too far. Simon huffed out a laugh, waving him off.
"Nah, I've dealt with worse. But you are horrible."
Grace snorted out a laugh, "Oh yeah?"
"Yes! I mean, you attacked a poor, defenseless amputee for no reason!" he said, sarcastic amusement evident in his voice.Â
"Well if you ask me, the amputee had it coming," he taunted. "Besides, you're hardly what I'd call defenseless."Â
"Whatever. That shit was excessive and you know it."
"You could've asked me to stop at any time," he noted smugly.
"I did!" Simon argued. Didn't he? Surely.
"Mmm, Simon say many things. Did not say stop," Rocky spoke up, earning a playful glare.
"Oh yeah? What do you know."
"Rocky know Simon very ticklish!" He was definitely teasing him now.
Simon let out an embarrassed groan, hiding behind his hand. "I'm never gonna live this down."
Rocky reached through the mesh on his ball to pat his leg comfortingly. "Is okay. Grace still most ticklish human."
"Okay, that's it!" Grace growled playfully. Rocky let out a string of giddy, nervous chirps before rolling down the hall.
Grace jumped up to give chase, but paused in the doorway, looking back at Simon. "So uh, we cool?"
He shook his head fondly, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Yeah, we're cool."
Grace smiled in relief, turning to chase after Rocky, but Simon's voice calling out stopped him in his tracks. "But that doesn't mean you're off the hook."
Omg I love your stories so much! Especially Precarious Plant!!! I didn't realize how much I need a chase scene between Grace and Simon. Keep up the amazing work!
On a side note, I had an idea for a scenario between them based on a short comic I saw.
In the comic, Simon panics because of trauma and because he is worried about running out of oxygen. Ryland comforts him and tells him to take some deep breaths.
However, my idea is what if after Simon calms down, Grace makes a point to show him that they have plenty of oxygen, and starts tickling him >:)
AHDJSK I LOVE THESE TWO CHARACTER SO MUCH
- Zephyr (@lizard-lee)
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
Oh I love this concept⌠HECK YEA IâLL PUT A SPIN ON THIS!! LETâS GOOO
-
Deep Breaths
I am so sorry this took 99 billion years for me to finish, I NEVER write this slow AAAAUGHHH. ITS OK. itâs done, and thatâs what matters.
This oneâs a little longer, not too angsty, but itâs got a bit of an anxious kick to it. Simonâs still due for a day ruiner though- so he isnât safe yet. LMAOOO. Please excuse any typos guysâŚ
°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ
Lee!Simon (Iron Lung) Ler!Grace (PHM)
TW: Swearing, very mild anxiety. Nothing crazy, just be aware!
⌠Simon falls under the assumption that the Hail Mary is not only on a fixed oxygen supply, but running low. Grace does his best to convince him that thereâs nothing to worry about.
°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ
âRocky, whatâs the word on the breeder tanks and specimen enclosures?â
âTanks and enclosures sealed, statement!â
Rocky chirps back at me.
âLights and climate controls stable too?â I shoot back, chewing idly on my pen as I mull over the checklist in my hand.
âYes yes, all systems stable.â
âGood, thatâs what we like to see.â I nod, adding a checkmark on the list.
âSimon, howâre the lights in the main hall? Any flickering, buzzing, or dimming?â I turn, calling down the tunnel hallway to Simon, who stood by the wall, scanning the breaker box.
âLooks good to me. Nothing abnormal.â
âPerfect. Thank you gentlemen, thatâll do it for the baseline system check!â I nod with a smile, happily completing the bi-weekly systems check in with a resounding âall goodâ.
âYou two can feel free to scatter, Iâm going to the cockpit to check nav, the smart computer, and life support.â I tucked the clipboard under my arm, nodding up towards the control room.
âGood good. Rocky go finish repairs on Simon fake arm.â
âAh, so that why heâs missing his prosthetic?â I ask, eyeing the empty sleeve on Simonâs left.
âYes yes. Need repair.â
âWhat the heck happened to it? Youâve only had it a couple weeks.â
âI didnât break it, stop looking at me like o slammed it into a wall or something.â
âWe had to lock you in the dorm for three days because you almost slammed me into a wall barely a week into you being awake here. Sue me for assuming you bashed it into something.â
âYou canât use that against me, that was a panic response.â
âTo what?! Donât pull that card on me, I didnât do anything to you!â
âYou were trying to inject me with something!â
âPainkillers! Because your arm was torn off!â
âWhatever! You didnât warn me!â
âI thought you were asleep! Doctors donât typically say 3 2 1 go when theyâre giving a shot to a comatose patient.â
âYou are not a doctor.â
âI have a doctorate!â
âIn like, particles or something!â
âMolecular biology!â
âSame thing!â
âWrong! Stop arguing with me! What happened to your brand new arm?!â I bark.
âSi mon no break arm. Faulty sensors make joints lock up too tight. Uncomfortable and inefficient. Rocky fix error.â
Rocky chimes in, his tone a little snippy. Clearly heâs sick of our shouting.
âSee? Not my fault. Rockyâs on my side.â Simon flashes me a smile.
âWhatever. It was a safe enough bet blaming it on you.â I mutter rolling my eyes
âStupid fox.â
âYou annoy me. Greatly.â
Simon chuckles, and Rocky chirps along with him. I have no allies.
âIâm going upstairs.â I knew I lost the argument, but Iâd rather fly into Adrian again than admit that, out loud.
-
Nav system looks good⌠still got a long ride yet to Erid⌠should probably figure out orbital specs before too longâŚ.
I mutter to myself, surfing through the displays on the wall of the cockpit.
Hmmm⌠astrophage numbers look good⌠water recycling looks stable⌠no airlock breach, foodâs good, Armandoâs goodâŚ
I nod to myself, sitting back in the seat with my clipboard.
âPilot Detected.â
The idle displays all around me blink to life, but it no longer startled me like it had over a year ago.
âYes Mary, thank you.â I mutter, scribbling on my checklist.
âHey.â
I turn in my seat as Simonâs head pops up from the hatch.
âYeeees? Can I help you?â I ask, twirling my pen in my hand.
âNo, Iâm just here to grab my notebook, I think I left it by the window.â Simon says, hoisting himself up rather impressively with his one and one a quarter arms.
âOh? Yeah, your diary? Read the whole thing, cover to cover. Itâs in the copilot chair- here.â I chuckle.
âBullshit. Itâs not a diary.â
ââI love Ryland aoooo much, heâs the coolest, nicest, and smartest guy Iâve ever met.â I think that was page nine?â
âHilarious. Itâs just an Astronomy notebook.â
ââAnd heâs such a good teacher, and I love listening to him explain science to me!â Page 15.â
âYouâre full of shit.â Simon grumbles.
âWhatever you say. Here.â
I reach over, picking up the book and lifting it in Simonâs direction, while still keeping most of my attention on the pilot display, scrolling over to âLife Supportâ.
âThanks.â The notebook slides free from my hand, and I drop it down with a hum and a nod.
âHow much longer are you gonna be up here?â Simon asks, craning bis neck to see what Iâm doing.
âWhy, do you miss my company? Is that what you came to get your diary for?â
âNo, I just wanna know how much more peace and quiet time I have left.â
I chuckle, rolling my eyes.
âAlmost done, unfortunately. Just checking life support and Iâll be done.â
ââŚLife Support?â
âYeah- water recycling, climate control, oxygen. Yâknow - crucial stuff.â I shrug, scrolling along the wide yellow and black display.
Simon says nothing in reply.
âYouâre wasting your precious quiet time sitting up here talking to me. Iâll be done and down in just a couple minutes alâŚright..? Simon?â
I turn in my chair, and Simon is just standing there, lost in the eyes, and blank in the face.
âSimon?â I lower my voice, brows furrowed.
âYeah, yes- yes?â
âYou okay? You lost signal there for a second-â
âH-howâs our oxygen.â He asks suddenly.
I blink a couple times, turning from the screen, back to Simon.
âItâs- fine..? Our oxygen is fine. Weâre breathing right now, which is a pretty good sign.â
âHow long until Erid?â
âA long while still- over a year and a half. We found you two years and some change into the ride.â
Simon nods slowly.
He had a fantastic poker face. One I had never seen before. If something was bothering him, no one would know until he was at the tipping point. That said, a dead giveaway of Simonâs stress could be found just about anywhere but his face.
Clenched fists, tight shoulders, a bouncing leg, if he was sitting down, and the most obviousâŚ
Crack
He cracked his knuckles when he had stress he needed to release.
Crack crack
âWhatâs wrong?â I lift a brow at him.
âNothing.â
âLying.â
âNot lying.â
âHand and shoulders, Simon, youâre rigid as a board, and youâre cracking your knuckles - whatâs going on?â
âJust- nerve pain. Iâll be fine.â
Lying. Straight through his giant sharp teeth. Pretty solid lie, Iâll give him that. He does still get surges of pain from his injuries and mutations every once in a while, but thatâs not what he looks like stricken with sudden pain.
Iâll let him have it, though.
ââŚOkay.â I say calmly.
I treat Simon the same way I do my students when theyâd lie to me to get out of something.
If you meet them with the attention and worry theyâre after, theyâll walk all over you for the rest of the school year. You donât just get headaches and stomach aches every testing period, thatâs not how that worksâŚ.
If you acknowledge the issue, and offer concrete solutions, like âokay, go to the nurse, and bring me back a note when she checks you over.â Or âalright, I can call your mother and have her come get you.â Theyâre less likely to pull the stunt in the future.
âWell⌠go take some medicine and have Armando check you out. Make sure itâs nothing with your jaw or your arm.â I instruct, nodding slowly.
Simon nods back, still a bit stiff in the shoulders. What set him off..?
Whatever the case, he made his way back to the ladder, and descended.
-
I gave it about ten minutes. Before I idled the system displays again, I took one more glance at life support.
From the menu, I could access Armandoâs care logs - a painstakingly detailed, chronological summary of every procedure, checkup, medicine and food distribution, and crew chart update that had been recorded since the launch of the ship.
Upon clicking the ârefreshâ button in the corner, the list of todayâs logs appeared on the display.
Most recent log: my breakfast, five hours ago.
Simon didnât take any medication, or visit the medbay like I told him to. So he was lying.
Then what was wrong?
-
âGrace come see!â
Rocky called out from the lab. I had barely gotten off the cockpit access ladder before he beckoned me over.
âOne sec bud.â I jog down the hall to the lab. The air smells like copper wires and shouldering filament.
I enter the room, grabbing a pair of goggles and gloves from the wall. Can never be too safe.
âWhatâs up? Howâre repairs going?â
âGood good! Rocky fix arm completely! No more glitch.â
He wiggled his carapace proudly, pressing the drawer of the airlock closed, and cycling it, passing the prosthetic to me.
I gently open the door, removing the arm, and quickly setting it down. Still hot⌠it felt like taking a hot pan out of the oven on 200°.
I hiss, shaking my hands as the prosthetic lands on the table.
âStupid. Stupid Grace.â
âWhatever, Iâll be fine. Whats one more burn.â I shrug, pulling up a stool and sitting down at the lab table.
âWow- it looks different now too- cleaner- did you update the exterior too?â I ask.
The xenonite on the exterior before was a bit more patchy. A lot of the inner workings were visible through gaps in the metal paneling. It was cool, a kind of steampunk style- definitely a little more prop than practical, as far as looks go.
Now, the arm was completely enclosed in solid, thin, flat xenonite panels, with the only gaps being where the elbow and wrists flexed. Long? Running, linear patterns stretched across the upper arm and forearm, resembling some of Rockyâs tattoo engravings in his limbs.
âYes, Rocky scrap and rebuild exterior. Simon complain of things getting stuck in old arm. Bad bad. Give Rocky chance to put engravings on new arm shells!â
âOh! So these lines translate to something?â
âYes yes yes, these here mean Simon name. No have last name so Rocky give Simon Grace last name.â
I freeze, looking up at Rocky.
âWhat?! Yes he does, his last name is Fisher!â I spat out.
âNot real. Simon say Fisher not last name. Just place holder. Simon no remember last name.â
âBut it still works! Why my name?!â
âGrace and Simon share everything! Food, clothes, secrets-â
âSecrets?!âm what do you mean secrets?!â
â-Names-â
âWe donât share names. Thatâs not a thing.â
âYes is thing! Grace say humans share names when married!â
I raise my hand, palm facing me. âDo you see or hear a ring?! No! We arenât married!â
Rocky hums.
âIâm telling him that means Fisher.â
âRocky teaching Simon Eridian language. He will know.â
âWhatever- what else have you done with the prosthetic?â I sigh.
âUpdated electric muscle signal sensitivity. Easier to flex, grip, and release without strain.â
I nod, âgood, good. That was the issue to begin with, right?â
âYes, faulty signal strength. Very glitch. Is ready for Simon now!â
The metal had cooled significantly by now, making it safe and comfortable to pick up, about the temperature of a hot restaurant plate. I lifted it - surprisingly easily, I expected heavier.
âIs the install process still the same?â I ask, bending the fingers on the hand experimentally.
âYes. Straps attach to collar mount, shoulder support attach to straps, secure under arm. Prosthetic fastener attach snug to Simon arm, snap all connectors into place.â
Thatâs a lot of wordsâŚ
âGot it.â
âGood good!!â
Iâve only ever been standing around while Simonâs prosthetic was being installed⌠hope I got itâŚ
-
âSimon!â I call out, standing in the hallway like an impatient parent, fists on my hips, with the strap of the prosthetic clutched in my left.
Iâd looked all over the ship for him, but I couldnât find him.
Granted, when I say âlookedâ I mean I briefly glanced around Simonâs usual haunts - the lab, the UV grow room, the dorm, and his area near the window.
Nothing.
If it were Amy other day I wouldnât be all that worried, but heâd been acting a little strange earlier, and prosthetic aside, I really just wanted to put eyes on him.
âHey, Simon! Where are ya, bud?!â There was evident exasperation in my voice, I could hear it.
Creeak
Hey, so what was that�
Creeeak
The sound is coming from the observation window, but I was about 80% sure I hadnât seen him-
âSimon?!â
ThereâŚ
âSimon did you not hear me calling you for the last 10 minutes-? Better yet, how do I miss you?!â
I throw my hands up with mild frustration, walking over to the suspended bed.
The xenonite chains that were supporting the bed platform in the air must have been responsible for the creaking I heard. Theyâre attached to a pulley, so that we can retract and secure the platform against the ceiling if we need to disengage the centrifuge.
Simon shrugs, andâŚ
He signals to me with one hand, the hand sign for âglassesâ.
I furrow my brows.
âGlasses?â
âGlasses off. Missed me.â
He signs again.
I reach up to my face, and notice immediately, the absence of my glasses. Lifting my hand a little higher, I feel them perched up on my head. Right⌠that explains it.
I bring my glasses down to my nose, blinking a few times, bringing everything into focus. That answers one question, but now I have another.
Why are we signing?
âThank you⌠for that, I guess that is how I missed you.â I step up to the platform, crossing my arms on the bed.
âIs there a reason why youâre not talking right now? You alright?â I lower my voice.
Simon periodically went through spells of silence. Sometimes only for an hour or so, sometimes over a day. It was his brainâs way of handling all the stress swimming around in his head when it occasionally bubbles to the surface.
At the beginning it was pretty difficult to help him, communicate with him, or figure out what was wrong when he couldnât speak to me.
We tried a few different solutionsâŚ
Writing was a little challenging- in all honesty his handwriting was pretty bad, and paper isnât exactly a renewable resource out in the great beyond.
Rocky and I made him an augmentative, alternative communication device with some brutally subpar programming on my part. He uses it occasionally, but admittedly itâs pretty clunky, cumbersome to carry, and could do with an upgrade.
The best solution weâve found, is sign language. Iâm pretty proficient at it, as an educator, so we spent some time learning the basics, and Simon picked up quick. We can carry pretty seamless conversations in ASL now, whenever need be.
âDonât want to speak.â
âOkay, sure⌠you donât want to speak, verbally? Or you donât want to speak to me specifically right now?â
âVerbally.â
âGotcha⌠uhmâŚâ
He doesnât offer me anything more, just looking down at me, sitting crisscross on the bed above me.
âWell, how about I at least hook up your new arm, and maybe you can fill me in on whatâs going on once you have both hands to chat with, hm?â I push the metal arm towards Simon with a smile on my face.
He looks down at it, then to me, and nods.
âPerfect. Can I come up?â
He nods again.
I hoist myself up onto the platform, taking a seat on my knees next to Simon.
âOk, shirt off, please.â I make a motion for him to remove the t-shirt that used to be mine.
He slid it off without a word or hesitation, sitting straight. He knows the drill.
âThank you sir⌠arm up.â
He lifts the torn arm out straight to the side. I pull a fabric slip from my pocket, tugging it over the stump like a sock. Once itâs snug to Simonâs arm, I pick up the prosthetic, and sigh, trying to remember the order of operations
Simon looks down too. He reaches over, tapping the straps that attached to the top of the prosthetic, then reaches up and tapped on the collar mount that was already around his neck.
Right!
âYes! Thank you, collar to steaps, straps to mount, mount to prosthetic. I remember, thank you.â
I get to work, snapping and twisting and clicking and tightening, until the prosthetic was snugly in place, and sending and receiving signal as it should be.
All the while, Simon stayed silent. No quips, no complaining, nothing.
âOookay, you should be all set. Can you spell you name out?â
âS-I-M-O-Nâ the mechanical hand whirs as he makes his way through the five letters.
âPerfect! So, now that youâve got both hands, you wanna tell me whatâs going on?â
I sit back and little, giving Simon some space.
He thinks for a moment, before raising his hands.
âNot speaking.â
âGathered that much. I was hoping more for a why.â
âConserve oxygen.â
I raise a brow. What? Oxygen..?
âConserving oxygenâŚâ re helpers, nodding as he signs.
âYou check oxygen earlier today. Donât want to waste oxygen. Not speaking, less intake.â
OkayâŚ
âI- Iâm confused.â
Snap!
We both jump as one of the straps on the prosthetic support comes undone.
âCrap-! Ugh, darn thing. Hold on, let me fix itâŚâ
I scoot back over, and tend to the undone strap, fastening it back into place with a little more care than before, tightening it as best I can, bracing my hand against Simonâs chest⌠waitâŚ
I pause for a moment, moving my hand down to the center-left of his chest. His breathing was shallow, and his heart rate was low⌠way lower than it should be.
âSimon, why are you breathing like that?â I ask, urgently.
He lifts his hands again, and gets halfway though the sign for âconserveâ before I stop him.
âIf you say âconserve oxygenâ again, Iâm gonna freak out. What do you mean?! Why are you worried about our oxygen?!â
âYou checked oxygen earlier. Limited supply, yes?â He signed back just as urgently.
âWhahat?! No! No, I- you misunderstood-â
âHow not limited? Ship is made of three cylinders. One for fuel, one for us, one for oxygen, yes!â
âNo, Simon no, three for fuel, one for us in the center, that extends outward.â I explain.
His eyes widen.
âWhere oxygen stored?? How much?? Why are you talking so much?? Low oxygen.â
I shake my head.
âNo no no, no. Simon, stop for a second.â
âThree breathing organisms on a ship with limited oxygen.â
âStop. No, just listen.â
âNo oxygen tanks in-â
âQuiet coyote. Can you please show me two quiet coyotes?â I sigh, raising my hands with index and pinky fingers raised.
âPatronizing.â
âNo, Iâm not, I just need you to listen and focus, câmon. Humor me.â
Simon relents, and mirrors my hands with a deadpan stare.
âThank you. What I was trying to say. Was that we donât have limited oxygen tanks aboard the Hail Mary. The ship uses a recycling system that supplies us back with oxygen from the other gasses and water that we release in the cabin. Itâs a cyclical system.â
âThen what were you che-â
âHey, tell those coyotes to stop barking, I wasnât done.â
âYou paused.â
âI was taking a breath. Which is what Iâm trying to convince you to do before you pass out. Now, as for what I was checking, I was just making sure that the recycling was in proper working order, which it is. Thereâs nothing to worry about.â
Simon looks at me a little bewildered.
âI promise! Youâre nott in any danger of running out of air.â I take a deep breath in and out, just to prove my point. âSee? No problem.â
Simon nods, looking down for a moment, losing himself in thought.
I wait patiently, in case he has something more to sign.
âI did not know that was possible.â He signs slowly
âReally?â I ask gently.
âI thought one-way vessels came with limited air. All the time.â
I hum, not looking away from Simonâs hands.
âIâm guessing the Iron Lung had limited supplyâŚâ
âYes. I almost ran out.â
âOh-â
âThe hull breach got to me first though.â
I grimace.
âRight⌠I didnât even think about thatâŚ. No wonder you got freaked out.â
âThe air was really thin.â
âI bet.â
âSmelled like iron.â
âYeah, so did you when we got you on board. But you got cleaned up, healed up, and here you are, right? Safe and sound.â I smile. ďżźâNo blood, no thinning air, no creepy fish or whatever. Just a clean ship, a rock, and a teacher.â
âYes, water.â
I tilt my head, a bit confused by the sign.
âWater?â What do you mean water.â
Simon meets me with the same confusion.
âT-H-A-N-K-Sâ he spells the word out instead.
âOh! You meant âthank you.â Thatâs this.â
I turn my palm toward my face, touching my fingertips to my mouth, and tilting my hand out as if I were blowing a kiss.
âThis, what you did, means water.â I hold up three fingers, tilt my hand so my palm faces in to the side, and tap my index finger against my chin. âClose, though.â
Simon nods, mimicking the âthank youâ motion.
âAnd youâre welcome. I hope that puts you at ease a little bit.â
He nods again.
âStill donât feel like talking?â
âNo.â
âGood enough. In your own time⌠will you at least take some deep breaths? You looked like you were gonna pass out earlier.â
âI am.â
âYou arenât. I can clearly see your chest barely moving, Simon.â I place a hand on his chest.
âCold cold cold.â He signs rapidly, tensing up a little.
âYouâre not panicking! Your heart rate is evening out, youâre not sweating, your eyes arenât dilated. Donât cry wolf.â I say, a little sternly.
âCoyote.â
âWhat? Oh- Stop. Breathe.â I canât help but smile. âIâll make you if I have to.â
He narrows his eyes at me with a challenging glare.
I roll my eyes, sighing. Fine, dramatics it is.
âEMERGENCY! EMERGENCY, CLEAR THE AREA!â I shout, sitting up suddenly, and shoving Simon down onto his back on the bed, being sure to not startle him too bad. He did ask for this, though.
âWE HAVE ONE, ADULT MALE, KINDA-HUMAN, UNREAPONSIVE, NOT BREATHING.â
Simon smiles, more out of shock than anything else, looking up at me like Iâm fresh out of my mind.
âCHECKING FOR PULSE.â I make an obnoxious show of âlooking for Simonâs pulseâ, testing his wrist, putting a hand, then an ear to his chest, which I think got a little giggle out of him, then probing at the side of his neck with two fingers. I catch the pulse for just a moment before Simon shrugs up his shoulder and swats my hand away with a snort.
Now weâre cookinâ.
âNO LULSE!â
âYes there is.â He signs quickly.
I gasp, batting his hands away.
âHEâS CONVULSING!â I shout, voice a little raspy. I havenât had to yell in quite a while.
âSTARTING COMPRESSIONS. CLEAR THE AREA!â I chuckle, placing both hands on Simonâs chest, in the furthest thing from COR procedure placement, and begin gently pressing down on Simonâs chest, repeatedly.
Each âcompressionâ forces a little bit of breath into Simonâs lungs, coupled with the quiet chuckles that squeezed their way through.
I pause, acting like Iâm listening for signs of life.
âSIMON?!â I call out theatrically, reaching up to shake him by the shoulders.
Simon signs out âyesâ, and I decide that isnât good enough.
âSTILL NOTHING! IâVE GOTTA DO MOUTH TO MOUTH!â Again, not protocol, but who cares.
I lean down, and Simon catches me by the cheek with his hand, pushing me back, the both of us snickering like idiots now.
âWEâRE LOSING TIHIME! HEâS NOT- HEHEâS NOT BREATHING!â I move my hands from Simonâs chest, sliding them under his arms, scratching gently.
Simon gasps, which Iâm counting as a breath, and finally starts laughing like he means it.
âOh- OH! HE LIVES!â I cheer, bringing a hand up to his stomach, and dragging my nails quickly over the tightened muscle.
âHEâS ALIVE!!â
Simon lets out a high pitched, sort of squeaky laugh, his chest rising and falling. Thank goodness.
âNow Iâve gotta check your vitals. You were out for quite a while! Thought I lost you!â
âNo. Stupid. So dramatic.â He signs.
âWe gotta crack that brain open too, because clearly youâre losing it. Iâm not dramatic.â I scoff. âOkayyyyy, organs? Everything still in place?â
I bring both hands to Simonâs middle, kneading and pinching at the soft part of his stomach.
Simon snorts, shaking his head madly, and striking a fist against the bed. If this was his stubborn attempt to not laugh, boy was it cracking.
âOkay⌠Organs are where they should be⌠how about reflexes?â
I bring a hand down to Simonâs knee, giving an experimental squeeze just above the joint. He kicks his leg out, dropping it flat to the bed with a startled gasp.
âWow! Reflexes on point! Other leg?â I repeat the motion, to the other leg, this time squeezing a little harder, latching on tight as his leg bucks under my grip.
âMMHMHAHAHA- OKAHAY!! EVERYTHING IS FINE!!â Simon shouts.
âOh! Look at that weâre back online! I missed that voice!â I smile wide. âDoesnât exempt you from a check up though, unfortunately. Bear with me!â
I snicker, sliding my hands up, and out to Summonâs ribs, I donât move them.
âGrahahace.â
âMhm?â
âGehehet the fuck offa me.â
âThatâs not nice, why must you swear at me?â
Simon lets out a sound thatâs half groan, half chuckle.
âI just wanna make sure youâre breathing properly, thatâs all!â
Simon glares at me, but it has no effect.
âCome on, biiiig deep breath in for me.â I coax gently.
To my surprise, he takes a hesitant breath, slowly taking in air. His ribs expanding into my hands.
âGood! Very good, hold it⌠aaaand⌠out!â
At the last word, I clawed my hands, and dug into Simonâs ribs suddenly.
â*snrk-!* A-AHAHAHA- SHIHIHIT!â Simon sputters, barking out laughter in shock, kicking his legs against the bed.
âPerfect, lungs are working!â I snicker, scribbling over Simonâs ribs, careful to avoid his gills.
âJust give me a couple more nice deep breaths and weâll call it good.â I slow my hands, gently trailing them up and down Simonâs ribs.
âI- I cahahanât breathe with you- touching me!â
âWell not with that attitude you canât! Iâm barely doing anything anyway.â
âYouâre scrahahatching my gills, you fuckinâ ass!â
âHey!â I hissed, jabbing my index fingers into the skin above Simonâs gills. He yelps, tensing like heâd just been electrocuted.
âYouâre not gonna turn your voice back on just to curse at me in every other sentence.â I vibrate my fingers against Simonâs gills, a little rougher than I usually would.
âOKAHAHAY OKAY OKAY IâM SORRY IM SOHOHORRY, I WONâT ANYMORE-! GRACIE-!!â
âPromise?â
âYEHEHESS!!â
âAnd youâll take some deep breaths for me?â
âAGH- YEHES!â
âAnd you promise to just ask me questions instead of working yourself up about things that you donât need to panic about?â I speak unnecessarily slow, not letting up on Simonâs gills.
His back arched up off the mattress, teeth gritted, hands gripping my wrists.
âGRAHAHACE!! YEHEHES, ENOUGH!â
I chuckle, letting go.
âOkay! Okay. Iâm done.â
Simon collapses down, gasping for breath.
âSlow down, breath in and hold it for a sec.â I say softly, placing a hand on his chest. He flinches, but doesnât protest.
I feel his chest rise and expand, holding the air in for a moment.
âGood, good.. and⌠out.â
Simon lets the breath out. ďżź
ďżźI nod, patting him gently on the chest.
Simon takes two more deep breaths before Iâm satisfied, lifting my hand.
âHowâdya feel?â
âFine.â
âYeah?â
âMhm⌠what?â
âThatâs all? Just fine?â
âI mean- what more do you want me to say?â
âWell how do you feel now that you know youâre not slowly asphyxiating?â I shrug, scooting myself up beside Simon, lying down alongside him.
âAh- well yeah, itâs nice to know. I just feel kinda stupid.â
âWhat? Why?â
âWhy would we be running out of oxygen?? I mean, you told me youâve been aboard this thing for years⌠thereâs no way the ship would have tanks big enough for that much airâŚâ
âYeah but you didnât know, thatâs fine. Doesnât make you stupid.â I shrug.
âHmmmph.â Simon groans.
âI mean think about it- the only ship youâve ever been on besides Mary was a flimsy rust bucket with hardly enough o then for a three hour trip. Of course youâd expect every other ship to have limited air supply.â
I shrug, turning to look at Simon.
âAssuming the worst and trying to prepare for it doesnât make you stupid, Simon. It just means youâre-â
âTraumatized.â
ââŚyeah⌠not quite what I was gonna say, but yes.â I turn back to face the ceiling.
âBut now you know, and thereâs nothing to worry about.â I say, making a show of taking a deep breath.
Simon does the same, much to my delight.
âSoâŚâ
âHm?â I reply softly.
âThe air recycling system. Itâs working properly?â
âPerfectly, yeah.â
Simon nods slowly. âWould you⌠mind⌠explaining how it works? I- I dunno, maybe understanding it would put me at ease.â
The stupidest, nerdiest, widest smile splits my face, and I sit up fast as a whp.
âYouâre asking me to explain something to you?!â
âOh dear lord- come onâŚâ
âYouâre asking me to explain science to you?!â I find myself tense from excitement, balled fists shaking in the air with unspent energy.
âWoah- okay.â
âWhat?!â
Nothing- just- you look stoked.â
âI am!â
âGracie. Itâs not that monumental of an event- you explain things to me all the time.â
âYeah but you hate it!â
âWhat? No I donât!â
âWrong.â
âCorrect! I may not know what the hell youâre talking about, but I donât mind listening! Just- tell me about the air system? Before you implode, please?â
I nod, sliding to the end of the bed, and reaching back to grab Simonâs arm - his good arm - tugging him along.
He chuckles, following me off the bed.
âOkay, okay slow down- where are you dragging me?â Simon takes my wrist with his free, mechanical hand, and moves it down, so that our hands are connected.
He interlaces his fingers with mine, and my brain goes blank. Gosh, Iâm lame..
âI- I uh⌠uhm to the uhâŚâ
âReally? Holding hands broke you?â Simon chuckles, squeezing my hand gently.
âNoâŚâ I stand there for a moment, stiff, unsure of what to do next.
âWant me to let g-â
âNO. no- I mean, I donât mind. Where was I going?â
Simon snorts. âTo show me the air recycling system?â
âRIGHT! Yes! Okay, cockpit!â I start off, dragging Simon behind me.
âSo, what do you know about zeolite filters?â I ask, looking back over my shoulder.
Simon chuckles, shrugging. âAbsolutely nothing, Dr Grace.â
Guys this one is so dumb. This was an idea that popped into my head literally on a whim. I like writing funny nonsense, and yâall tell me you like it. So hereâs your favorite space morons trying to learn and play uno LMAO.
Short, silly, and goofy. Needed a break from writing heavy stuff so enjoy the levity :) as usual, forgive my typos⌠Iâm just a girl frâŚ
°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ
Lee!Grace (PHM) Ler!Simon (Iron Lung)
TW: lots of swearing. Mostly Simon, of course.
⌠Grace, Rocky, and Simon decide to kill time playing Uno with a deck Grace found in the crew cabin⌠whole ship mad fr.
°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ
âDoes everyone have seven cards?â I ask, setting the deck down in the middle of the floor.
I had gotten my hands on an uno deck, rummaging around in crew storage. Every once in a while when I got bored, Iâd go through bags and boxes to see if there was anything worth the time of day.
The three of us could do with something new to entertain us - thereâs only so much we can do in the lab day after day.
Iâd come to realize, however, that a game of Uno between a teacher, an ex-con, and a sentient rock would be one of the most ridiculous original experiences of this whole journey
âYea, I do.â Simon nods, meticulously arranginghis hand.
âYes yes, seven cards!â
Rocky holds his hand of cards up, numbers facing us. Simon and I turn away quickly.
âWoah! Rocky, bud, you donât show us your cards, thatâs like- the whole point of holding them in your hand!â
âOhh! Sorry sorry.â
âItâs fine, just face your cards towards yourself.â Simon shrugs.
âRocky can see all cards!â
âThen donât look at our cards! Thatâs cheating!â I huff. âOkay, we ready?â
Simon and Ricky both nod, and with their signal, I reach over, flipping over the first card of the deck.
âRed Six.â
âWait- isnât Rocky colorblind?â Simon turns to me with furrowed brows.
âRocky no have six. Go fish!â
I groan, dropping my head.
âNo, Rockyâs not colorblind, heâs blind blind.â
âLike you?â Simon chuckles.
âDonât you have one arm? Not really in the position to pick on disabilities. And no, not like me. Rocky evholocates to âseeâ. He can tell the difference between colors, but doesnât see them like we do. Kinda like shades of grey.â
ââŚSo colorblind?â
âOh my lord- sure, yes, fine.â
âRocky no have six!â
âWell do you have any red cards, Rock?â Simon asks.
âMmm⌠yes. Not six.â
âYou can still play the card.â I say. âIt doesnât just have to be a red six. It can be a card of the same color, or number.â
âOhhh understand.â
Rocky chirps, selecting a card, and setting it on the pile.
Red two.
âSimon, your turn.â
âI know, shut up. Let me think.â
âThink?! You had all 85 years of Rockyâs turn to think!â
âSHHHH. IâM STRATEGIZING.â
âITâS THE FIRST ROTATION!â
âYâKNOW WHAT? HERE.â Simon slams a card down.
Draw four.
âYouâre joking.â
âRotate that.â
âWhahat?â I scoff, counting out four cards from the deck and adding them to my hand.
âThat sounded better in my head.â
âNot quite sure how it sounded good period, but okay. Rocky, your turn.â
âSimon no pick new color.â
âOh shit, uhm⌠I dunno, green.â
Rocky and I both groan.
âSeriously?â
âRocky no have green!â
âDraw a card, bud. Unbelievable.â I mutter, gesturing to the deck.
âMmmm dumb dumb game.â
Rocky grumbles, reaching for the deck with his xenonite clad claw.
-
It takes us a few rounds, but eventually we fall into a rhythm. Arguing is at a minimum, thereâs hardly any questions about rules⌠until Iâm down to my last two cards.
âYOU CANâT STACK TWO âDRAW FOURâ CARDS! YOU CANâT STACK ANY CARDS!!â
âYEA I CAN! I ABSOLUTELY CAN. ROCKY, DRAW EIGHT, QUICKLY.â
âWhy Rocky draw eight? Question?! Card say four!â
âSimon put down a-â
âYou donât have to draw eight-â I put a hand over Simonâs mouth.
âSHUT UP. Rocky, Simon put down a draw four, and I put one down too. That means you have to draw four cards twice.â
âBullshit.â Simon scoffs, swiping my hand away.
âYou skipped me like six times! And youâre calling bull?!â I throw my hands up, getting in his face a little.
âNOWHERE IN THE RULES DOES IT SAY YOU CAN STACK DRAW CARDS.â
âHouse rules, Fishstick!â
âNot in House. In spaceship, Statement.â
Rocky juts in.
âYeah! You canât play house rules thatâs not fair.â Simon hisses.
âItâs MY spaceship thatâs also my hoise. Cry about it!â
âThatâs YOUR thing, Cryland Grace.â
âOh shut up youâre just pissed off youâve got like half the deck in your hand.â
âOooh âpissedâ? Professor Grace is swearing now?âďżź
ďżźâWhahat?! Thatâs not- YOU SWEAR LIKE A SAILOR, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT.âI bark out, shoving Simonâs shoulder. He snickers at me.
âRocky draw cards. Is Simon turn.â
Rocky taps the floor impatiently.
âYeah, go ahead and pick something from that Rolodex you got there.â I snicker, clutching my cards tight.
Simon growls, mulling over his cards for quite a while.
âOh my goodness, today, Yu-Gi-Oh.â
âWho?â Simon shakes his head at me.
âNothing, gOOOO.â
âPick a Color, dipshit. You slapped a draw four down and didnât choose a color.â He mutters.
âOh⌠uhm. Blue.â I say, sheepishly.
âPerfect.â Simon smiles.
âWhaddya mean perfect? Youâve got 99 cards, statistically itâs not a miracle youâd have a blue.â
âHaving âstatisticallyâ and âmiracleâ in the same sentence is oxymoronic.â Simon says.
âYouâre oxymoronic.â
âYeah? Get skipped, moron.â
Simon slams down a blue skip card, and I groan.
âWhat?! How many skips do you have?!â
âHow many come in a deck?â
âEight.â
Simon just snorts in reply. Awesome, so he has all of them.
âRocky, your move, bud.â I sigh.
Rocky chirps, going over his cards, before placing down a blue 2.
Simon nods, reading over his hand like the morning paper, before selecting a card from somewhere in the middle, like he was an out to perform a card trick, and sets it down.
A yellow 2.
Perfect.
With a smile on my face, I take one of my cards, a yellow 7, and place it down on the stack.
âUno!â I announce proudly.
I earn a satisfying groan from my competitors that fills my heart with joy.
âHow grace have one card!! Not play fair.â
Rocky whines.
âWhat?! Yes I did, I played completely fair!â I chuckle.
âHardly.â Simon mutters.
âWhatâs up?â I turn to Simon with a conniving smile.
âIf it werenât for that stack move youâd still have three cards. I still donât think that was fair.â
âOhhhh you want some cheese with that whine?â I taunt.
âMmmmâŚâ
Rocky shimmies in place nervously.
Simon and I turn to him, a little concerned.
âWhatâs wrong?â Simon asks.
âNo have yellow cardâŚâ
âThatâs okay, just draw another one.â I shrug.
âNo, have card can play⌠make Simon mad.â
Oh now Iâm interested.
âItâs alright, Rocky itâs just a game, he wonât be that upset.â I reassure with a sly smile.
Simon shoots me a look, and I pretend canât see it.
Rocky deliberates for another moment, before dropping his card.
Draw four.
âRocky choose Red.â
âHAHAAA! YES, ROCKY!â I pump my fist in the air, reaching over for a high three, which Rocky confusedly accepts.
I snort, looking over at Simon, who begrudgingly picks up four more cards, stacking them on an honest to god, second tier.
âRunning out of hand to hold all that?â I chuckle.â
âShut the hell up, Ryland.â
âRyland?! Oh so youâre mad at me now? What happened to Grace?!â
âYouâre the reason Iâve got 79,000 cards of course Iâm mad at you!â
âIs it my fault?â I look around at an imaginary audience. âOr are you just really bad at Uno?â
Rocky chirps, giggling at my quip.
âIâm gonna rip you into shreds.â Simon mutters.
âOhhhh! Thatâs a threat. FOUL.â I shout. âDraw four more, just for that.â
âWould you just go? Itâs your turn.â Simonâs tone was low and cold. He was getting irritated, and I was loving it.
âOkay okay, Grumptopus, jeez.â
I look down at my final card, and my face twists into a grimace. It wasnât red, or a playable wild card. Da hit.
I reach for the deck to draw a card.
âOhhhh how the mighty has fallen.â Simon coos.
I roll my eyes, lifting the card. A red 3. Perfect.
âOh! Ok, nice. Still Uno!â I place the card down on the stack.
âWhat?!â
âNot fair!â
Rocky and Simon holler over each other.
âWhat?! I drew a card I could use so I played it! Whatâre you two complaining about?!â
âSince when was that a thing?!â
âSince I read the instructions before we started the game?!â
âRocky not hear Grace say this! Could have played many card!!â
âI wouldnât have half the stack I have if you would have explained that!â
âI DID! NEITHER OF YOU WERE LISTENING!â
âYouâre MAKING UP RULES!â
âNO IâM NOT!! CHECK THE RULE CARD!â
âYou know what? Draw eight. New house rule.â Simon huffs.
âWhat?! No! Thatâs not how that works!â
âIt is now.â
âYou canât just make things up because youâre losing horrifically.â
âYOU CANâT MAKE THEM UP JUST TO WIN.â
âIâM. NOT.â I lean over to Simon, annunciating each word with a point to the face.
âStay away from me.â Simon shoves me back with a hard push to my chest. Just for dramatics, I let myself fall back onto the floor with a thunk.
âAaaaAAAAAAAAH. OOOOOHOHOW. FOOOUL.â I shout, laying there like a dead bug.
âGrace okay question?!â
Rocky whimpers, skittering in place across the floor from me.
âHeâs fine, heâs acting like a drama queen. Ryland get the fuck up, youâre scaring Rocky.â Simon sighs.
âYou broke my aaaaarm.â I drawl.
âYou landed on your back, dumbass.â
ââŚYou broke my baaaaack.â
âMy god.â
âDraw four and Iâll be healed⌠all my discs will- I dunno, realign.â I roll onto my side.
âHow about I draw four liters of blood when I bite your hand off?â
âWOAH.â I flinch, sitting up and leaning away from Simon, shooting him a wide eyed glare.
âOh! Heâs healed. Christmas miracle.â
âJust spewing threats!â
Simon shakes his head. âRocky, your move.â
âOh! Yes yes. Rocky play red 4.â
He sets down the card, and looks to Simon.
Silently, he selects the 475th card in his inventory, placing down a red 5.
I groan, reaching to the deck again, still not having a playable card.
I pick up a green 5.
With a smile, I drop the card on the pile.
âStill Uno.â
âGet the rule card.â Simon hisses.
-
âIf you can't play a card, draw 1 card from the draw pile.. If it matches, you can play it at once! See?! You selectively deaf dummies, I told you! Legal move!â
I flick the card, presenting it to Simon and Rocky.
âYou literally never read that rule.â
âSomeoneâs listening ears werenât on.â I smirk.
âOkay- OKAY- you know what? Fine! Thatâs on the card, but you know what isnât? âDraw four stacking.â THATâS illegal.â
âOh my lord youâre still on that?! It didnât even affect you! Rocky had to draw!â
âI am still on it! ITâS NOT A RULE.â
âITâS A HOUSE RULE!â
âWHOSE HOUSE?!â
âMINE! AND MOST EVERYONEâS ON EARTH.â I shout, Simon and I once again yelling in each otherâs face.
âMary, how far are we from Earth?â Simon calls out to the ship.
âCurrent distance from Earth: thirteen point seven two one lightyears.â
Simon gives me a pointed look.
âYeah, 14 lightyears away from the closest house with their own Uno Rules. Yours included.â
âThis is still my house! Iâd let Rocky play Blip A house rules, and Iâd let you play Iron Lung house rules. You two are just sore, hating, losers.â I shrug.
âRocky no have Uno game on Blip A. No games on ship.â
Rocky chimes in, having sat down, legs tucked, watching Simon and I argue, dropping a green 9 onto the pile.
âHow does the rock have so many fewer cards than me?! He just drew eight!â Simon gestures to Rocky with exasperation.
âBecause he plays the game correctly? Imagine that.â
âKeep running your mouth, Space Ranger. See what happens.â
âYou donât scare me, Sabertooth Tiger-fishâ
Yeah?â
âYeah, youâre all talk, softie. Play a card.â I chuckle.
âSoftie?â
âYehehes! Go!â
Simon condenses his cards into a thick pile, setting them face down and turning to me.
âOh come on-!â
âNo no, say it again!â
I lean away, giggling a little nervously now.
âI said youâre a softie! You know Iâm right!â
âHm.â Simon stares at me for a second, silently.
âŚ
âAaAAAAH-! GET OHOHOFF!â I shout as Simon pounces at me, knocking me back to the floor, harder this time.
âIâm a softie, huh?! Thatâs what you think?â
He reaches for me, and I catch his hands, putting us in a stalemate, pushing at each other, myself on my back on the cold metal floor, and Simon pinning me down by the waist, leant over me.
âSimon get Grace!â
Rocky cheers.
âWHAHAT?! TRAITOR!â I gasp, pointing firmly at Rocky.
Dumb move.
Simon takes the opportunity to latch his. Ow free hand onto my ribs, digging nearly as hard as he can, and running his knuckles up and down the bones like a xylophone.
âWhat? Whats the problem? This is what you get for not only calling me soft, but cheating your way to an Uno.â He hisses, leaning into the pressure he was putting on my ribs.
âAHAHAHAHahAAAAAA OWWW! I DIDNâT CHEHEHEAT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED YO SAHAHAY THAT?!â
âHeresay. Baseless claim.â Simon shrugs, moving his hands down to my hips, digging his thumbs into the bones, vibrating them viciously.
âAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA OHOH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU SO AGGRESSIVE?!â I shoot my hands down to grab rather fruitlessly at Simonâs wrist and prosthetic forearm.
âRocky.â Simon calls out.
My Eridian traitor of a best friend perks up at Simonâs call.
âCome here and hold his hands out of the way, wouldâya?â
âWHAT?! NOHOHO THATS NOT FAIR!â
âOh! And suddenly you care about fair!â
âROHOHOCKY, PLEASE.â I plead. âHEâS GONNA KILL MEHEHE.â
âRocky if you do it, Iâll take the child locks off your laptop.â Simon offers.
Rocky chirps, standing up and trotting over to me.
âRocky is sorry Grace!â
He says, easily grabbing both my wrists tight in the xenonite shielded grip of his claws, dragging them back, and parking right behind my head.
âTRAHAHAOTOR!! OHOHOHAHAHAHA-!! SIHIHIMON!â
The moment my hands were free, Simon shot up to my armpits, raking his fingers vigorously there for just a moment before pulling back, wiping his hands on my chest.
âUgh! Why are you sweating so much?!â
âBECAUSE IâM STREHEHESSED!â I shout. âGLAD ITâS REPELLING YOU.â
âWatch it.â
I stick my tongue out at him.
Simon sneers, grabbing the hem of my shirt, and ya Ming it up, forcing my back into contact with the freezing floor.
âAaAH-!â I hiss, lifting my back off the floor with a grimace.
âOh relax. Youâre such a baby.â Simon pokes a finger into my navel, sending my spine crashing back down into the ground.
âNOHOHO! NO. CâMON.â
âTake it back.â
âWHAHAHAT?!â
âTake it back. Iâm not soft. And while youâre at it, admit that you cheated.â
âI DIDNâT! IâM NOT GIVING A FALSE CONFESSIOOOAAAAAAHAHAHAHA-!!â
Simon shrugs, making his metal hand into a claw, and dragging it back and forth over my stomach.
I thrash like a fish from side to side, pulling at my wrists in Rockyâs steel grip. Iâd probably sooner break my wrists then wriggle them free.
Simon chuckles, watching me flounder around.
âYâknow what, Rock? Flip him over. He seems to want to anyway.â Simon chuckles.
Rocky chirps, switching my hands in his grip as I rock back and forth, forcing me into a 180 rotation, landing on my stomach. Crrraaaaap.
Instantly, I feel Simonâs hands on my back, kneading the muscle around my lower spine.
âNOOOHOHOHO NO NO NO OW-! PLEASE, SIHIHIMON THIS ISNT FAIR!! A-AHAHAHA-!â
âI already gave you your out. Comply or stop complaining.â
âWHYâRE YOU TORTURING ME FOR BEING GOOD AT A GAHAHAME?!â
Simon quickly drags his knuckles up the length of my back, and down again, making me shriek, every muscle in my body tightening up.
âSTOHOHOP! SIMON, YOU JEHERK! THIS IS AS BAD FOR ME AS YOUR GILLS AHAHARE FOR YOU.â I shout.
âIâm sure of it.â He purrs, sliding his nails and metal fingertips up, over my shoulder blades, creeping them over the curve of my shoulders.
My laughter turns pitchy and frantic, and I scrunch my shoulders as best I can.
âMO-! NOHOHO! SIMON I- IâM BEHEHEHGGING YOU, PLEASE.â
âIâm not even doing anything to you, my god, this is the easiest Iâve gone on you yet.â
âDOHOHONâT GIVE ME THAT YOU KNOHOHOE WHAT YOUâRE DOING.â
âDo I?â
I growl through my laughter, shaking my head as Simon continues to skitter his fingers over my shoulders like massive spiders.
âHey, Rocky, how wide is your wingspan?â
âRocky. I have wings. What Simon mean, question?â
Simon snorts, the whole time he speaks he prickles his fingers across my shoulders.
âNo, no, I mean how far out either direction can you reach your arms out. I need you to hold Graceâs arms out like this.â
I canât see him with my face driven down onto the floor, but judging my what came next, I assume the brief reprieve I was granted was Simon posing for Rocky with his arms out like a T.
âOh!! Yes yes, Rocky do that easily!â
âW-Whahat-?!â I sputter, feeling my arms stretch out to either side of me.
âPerfect.â Simonâs hands come to rest at the base of my neck, on either shoulder. âLast chanceâŚâ
âI- Iâm not admitting to sohohomething that isnât true! LeHEHEHEHAHA! NOHOHOHAAAAAHAHA WAIT LEMME TAHAHALK-!â
I let out a shrill scream, as Simon pinches the back of my neck, vibrating his hand in place.
âAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA-!!! STAHAHAHHAAAAP SIMON-! SIHIHIMON- CâMON!! OKAHAHAY, YOU ARENâT A SOFTIE!! OK?! LET THAT BE ENOHOHOUGH!â
âDistress detected.â
âMary, disengage.â Simon calls out.
âDenied.â
âShe needs it from you bud, tell her to disengage.â Simon pinches a little harder, moving to the side of my neck.
âI- I CANAHAHAAANâT!â
âDistress detected.â
âYes you can, just say it!â I can hear the snarky smile in his voice.
âM-MAHAHARY, DISENGAHAHAHAGE!â
âUnable to process response. Distress detected.â
âDAHAHAMNIT-! MAHAHARY! DISENGAGE! DISENGAGE!â I cry out.
âDistress alarm: disengaged.â
âThere you go, good job.â
âDOHOHONâT. JUST GET OFF MEHEHEHE-!!â
âSay âIâm sorry for making up bullshit rulesâ and weâll let go.â
âNOHOHO! IM NOT SAYING THAT, I DONâT CURSE LIKE YOU DO.â
Simon scoffs, leaning down and blowing a loud, ridiculous raspberry on the back of my neck, just below my hairline.
âSHIHIHI- AGH-! SHOOT-! STOHOP DONâT MAKE ME!â
âAll at once?! JesusâŚâ Simon chuckles against my neck.
âLET ME UHUUP AND IâLL PROBE ITS A REAL RECOGNIZED HOUSE RUHUHULE. PLEASE. I- IâM GETTING LIGHTHEADED PLEASE.â
Simon seems to deliberate for a moment before stopping, placing his hands flat on my back as my body deflates into the floor.
âIf youâre bullshitting, Iâll knock you out for real.â
âOkahahay⌠*snf*â I whine, face down.
Rocky letâs go of my arms, and I pull them in, against my torso, bent at the elbows.
After a moment, I lift up into a push-up position, sitting upright from there. My face is red and slick with tears, and I lift my shirt to wipe them away.
âLeakyâŚâ
Rocky hisses.
âAre you crying?!â Simon huffs out a chuckle, tilting his head to get a look at me.
âNo.â I wave him off, reaching off to the side of the discarded Uni game, grabbing my laptop, and dragging it over.
Simon takes me by the shoulder, pulling me into his side, somehow still unable to keep from laughing.
I really wasnât all that upset. The tears were just from laughing too hard, but I sure didnât mind Simon feeling bad about it anyway.
âOhh I didnât mean to make you cry, Angel, Iâm sorry.â
âGet the hell offa me, youâre not sorry for anything.â
Simon snorts, squeezing my shoulders as I click away at my keyboard, occasionally swiping tears from my cheeks.
âHere, look, see? âWhile not an official play, stacking draw cards is a widely used, and accepted house rule in the game of Uno.â I tap the screen, looking over to Simon.
He looks rather annoyed that, as I was trying to tell him, I was correct.
âThereâs no way.â
âOhoh yes there is.â
âNo way!â
âCruel, unusual, and unjust punishment.â I sneer.
I push away from Simon, and pick up my forgotten cars, gesturing for the others to pick theirs up too.
âCâmon, letâs finish this. Rocky put down a green 9. Simon, your move.â I huff.
Simon sighs, picking up and fanning out his cards in his hand again. He hums in thought, selecting one from the middle and playing it. A yellow 9.
I gasp, a smile on my face.
âYES!â I slam my card down, a yellow 1.
âYES! UNO OUT, BEE-OTCH!â
âThat counts as a swear, Gracie.â
âI donât care, I win. Oh, what a satisfying conclusion!â I stand up with a loud clap, taking a bow.
âPlay again, question? Rocky want win!â
âOh god no- not right now. I canât take Amy more card games with him today.â I scoff.
âMe?!â Simon glared up at me.
âYes, YOU.â I point back down at him.
âIâve probably got bruises cookinâ right now because of you and your sportsmanship.â
âYouâre suuuch a wimp!â
âand youâre so- aggressive!â
âYour codeword is Hail Mary, and you didnât use it once. Do NOT give me that.â
âOh whatever! Iâm going to visit Armando to make sure Iâm not internally bleeding from every capillary in my torso.â
âHave fun with that. Rocky and I will play on our own.â
âGood! At least I know if you pick a fight with him, heâll kick your butt.â
I shrug, walking off down the hall, tugging my shirt back into place.
I know this is meant to be funny but it actually makes such a good point about how ADHD and executive dysfunction can impact people in really major ways, including financially
This is just a short piece about Dean coming out to Sam kinda which I'm not even gonna title or put in my masterpost or even tag other than with my writing tag, whoever manages to see it will see it.
Dean had developed- habits, being on the road on his own for a while. He only really recognized the pattern when Sam joined him, the two of them cramped up in small motel rooms that left little privacy, constantly together, dining and sleeping and sitting side by side in the car. Dean started becoming a bit frustrated, even though he had spent most of his life in this claustrophobic co-dependency. Had preferred it that way, really.
But then there was the flirting. The most natural thing to him, only heâd never told Sam about how he would kiss men when he was one too many bottles down, because why did his brother need to know that? But that meant the flirting became this thing they didnât talk about. Dean found it rolled off his tongue too easily to contain quickly enough, leaving it hanging in the air and pretending his blood wasnât pounding in his ears.
And sure, most diner waiters were technically waitresses, but the occasional unruly-haired college kid would set down their coffees and smile that big teasy grin of his that was so common among them - for the tips, Dean knew - and Dean had to clear his throat to keep from smiling back too hard. With women it was easier. They would roll their eyes at him, knowing this was all an act with no follow up, and Dean would leave feeling at least a little bit lighter. Samâs presence was ever so present whenever they had male waiters.
And those scrawny kids were usually not even Deanâs type, but who was he to be ungrateful for a pretty smile and batting doe-eyes.
âOh, I smell pancakes,â Sam said on a too early Monday morning in a rainy Seattle, entering the diner with too much pep in his step if Dean had to be honest. âAnd fresh coffee.â
âLikely thing for a diner to have,â Dean muttered, earning himself a laugh. Nothing was going to rain on Samâs parade apparently.
âHi, welcome in.â The waiter, a guy of about 25, smiled lazily at them from behind the counter. The diner wasnât busy, so he was fiddling with something Dean couldnât see. âIâll be right with you. Take a seat, any seat.â
Sam led the way, which gave Dean an opportunity to glance back at the waiter. He looked⌠good. Burly with a beard, with something easy going about him. He swallowed thickly and sat down in the booth Sam had chosen, taking the seat so that he could see the entire diner. He deserved a treat on a fucking Monday morning.
âGentlemen.â The waiter was approaching them with menus. âCan I tempt you with a cup of coffee while you look over our extraordinary options?â
Sam grinned. âYes, please. Just a regular coffee for me. With room for milk.â
âAnd you.â He turned his soft brown eyes to Dean. âThe same or would you like some sugar? Although I canât say youâre not sweet enough on your own.â
Dean choked on his own spit and the guy, whose name tag read âAlexâ, placed the menus on the table and disappeared, returning only seconds later with a pitcher of water and a glass. âIâm sorry. Too much?â
âN-no, I- Iâm fine.â Dean coughed again, trying to restore some dignity. âUh, yeah, the same. Please. And thank you. For the water.â
Alex smiled. âYouâre welcome. Iâll be right back with your coffees.â
Sam shot him an amused look once they were alone. âYou okay?â he asked with a laugh.
âIâm sure awake now.â He took a sip of his water, eyes on Alexâs retreating back.
âNot used to being complimented by guys, huh?â
If you only knew, Dean didnât say. âJust wasnât prepared for it first thing in the morning.â
âYou do look kind of half asleep, actually.â
âGreat.â
âBut I can see how someone might think youâre cute.â
âSam, please shut the hell up.â
Sam laughed again, so cheery, so comfortable. âIâm just saying. If that was a woman you would be soaking it up.â
Dean grabbed the menu and hid behind it. Leave it to Sam to overanalyze him as soon as he was caught off guard. âGod, I hope they have pies.â
âWe do, actually.â Alex had returned, carrying their two coffees and a small pitcher of milk on a tray.
Dean perked up. âYou do?â
âOf course. Apple, cherry, even rhubarb.â
âHeâll have apple.â
Alex turned toward Sam. âYou know him well, huh?â
âHeâs my brother and heâs predictable.â Samâs smile was a little too smug.
Dean narrowed his eyes, not liking the way his face suddenly felt hot. âGuilty as charged, I guess.â
Alex wrote something down in his notepad. âSo thatâs one apple pie. What would you like?â
When he left, Dean felt he couldnât look Sam in the eye for some reason. Sam - oblivious or not, Dean had yet to decide - poured milk into his cup and stirred, taking a little too long, being a little too loud. Dean sipped his milk-less coffee, burning his tongue in the process. âSo,â he said when Sam had finally stopped stirring. âAny theories?â
Sam craned his neck toward the bar. âAbout him?â
âWhat? No, about the case. Why would I be asking for theories about him?â
âI donât know. You seem overly tense around him. And you havenât stopped glancing up since he left.â
âI have not. Have I?â He suddenly felt unsure.
âYeah, dude! Youâre, like, so not slick.â
Dean nearly kicked him under the table. âWould you quiet down, Jesus Christ.â
Sam leaned over the table. âSo what is it? Does he intimidate you or do you think heâs good looking? I can never tell.â
âI- what?â
âI mean, with women itâs always easy. You act like a fool when youâre into them. But I guess you try to not be as obvious with men, at least when Iâm around, which I get. I hate that you feel like you have to do it, but I get it.â
Deanâs head was spinning. âYou know?â
Samâs face shifted from amused to almost pitying. âDean, I have known you my entire life.â
Dean crossed his arms. Apparently Sam did know him better than he thought. And Deanâs method of never talking about it seemed to run in the family. âAll right, letâs drop it.â
Sam nodded. âRight. Sorry. But I figured you should know. That I know, that is.â
âOkay.â
âMaybe I shouldâve waited for you to tell me yourself, but Iâm sure I wouldâve waited for the rest of my life.â
âShut up, Sammy.â
âAnd watching you fumble is kind of painful.â
Dean leaned across the table and jammed his fingers into his brotherâs ribs. âI said shut up.â
Sam was bending over and giggling for his life when Alex returned with their food. And even though Dean wasnât the one being tickled, he felt silly being caught acting like children. But Alex only smiled, almost fondly, and suddenly Dean was glad Sam knew. Would never be able to stop his own grin from spreading now.
mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter
Don't refer to the roles as lee and ler. I think it takes the reader out of the scene, as the community has made these words up. There are better terms to use anyways. Also, by not using these, people from outside the community reading your fics won't be confused.
Every time a new person talks, MAKE A NEW PARAGRAPH. This is for all fics, but I see this a lot with tickle fics as there is a lot of dialogue switching. If I see a block of text that is half one character laughing and the other half is the other person talking, I'm not gonna read your fic.
I dig when some people write people laughing in all caps, but use it sparingly. Reading all caps for longer than a sentence makes the brain disassociate and I can't read anymore. It's a fun technique, but use it when it's needed.
This is a personal pet peeve of mine, but you don't have to follow it if you don't want to. Not everyone needs to do baby talk. If you have a character that is quieter or stoic that is tickling someone, they probably won't do much of baby talk. Make sure your character teases are appropriate and in character, unless you intend for them not to be.
There are so many different forms of laughter, but a lot of them aren't interchangeable. Envision what you think the laughter will sound like, and base your writing on that. But don't forget to have fun with it.
Writing is supposed to be fun. If you're writing fics and it feels like a chore for you, take a break. Write when you feel like it.
Take the prompts you want. If you get a prompt that isn't very descriptive, toss it or get more info. Make sure the person submitting the prompt knows what they want so you know what they want.
That's all I have. I've been in this community as a reader since 2013 and a writer since 2016. This is some of my knowledge in writing and just reading these fics. Feel free to share/reblog this. There are a lot of new writers so I figured I could give some fun advice, but no need to take this seriously if you don't want to!
Adding this as it is Tickletober and there are so many fun fics and writers out and about this month:
I am a certified English and college essay tutor. If you want help with your writing, either proofreading or just general feedback, please reach out. I am happy to help you be the best writer you can be!