I think while trying to settle on what to call the daughter they're expecting, Ilya would get such a kick out of suggesting all the ridiculous white people baby names he finds online to a Shane who's taking this as seriously as he used to take his playoffs strategies.
Ilya looks over to where Shane is scrolling on his phone, wearing his glasses and that little frown he gets when he's concentrating. Ilya's grin gets a little wider.
"Oh here's one, My Shane. Blazeleigh. Maybe she'll grow up to be hot like you."
"Ew no, that sounds like something Sarah would make me wear to an awards show."
"Okay then, how about Kashtynn?"
"Absolutely fucking not."
"Snow, spelled like S-N-E-A-U-G-H?"
"Baby, be serious." Shane takes off his glasses to properly look at Ilya. "This name has to take our daughter all the way to being an old lady. We can't be one of those celebrity couples who give their kid a crazy name."
And Ilya makes a big show of rolling his eyes and sighing dramatically.
"Fine. Then how about Britney?"
And Shane shrugs but doesn't immediately scrunch up his face this time.
"I mean, not my favourite, but it's definitely better than the other names on whatever cursed list you've found."
"Would you like it more if I told you it was spelled B-R-Y-T-T-K-N-E-I-G-H?"
And his husband tackles him to the sofa, pinning him down and kissing him in all his ticklish spots, until they're both laughing so hard their sides hurt.
"No more crazy names, okay?"
And Ilya nods, giving Shane one more kiss and putting his glasses back on for him, before dutifully finding a proper baby name list. But as Shane adjusts his glasses and starts looking at his own list again, Ilya can't help himself.
"... It's Brittkneigh, bitch."
He gleefully accepts the pillow that flies at his head.
