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@bratz-bb1998
I have a vast array of out of body experiences—some of which I’ve yet to return from.
They happen for several reasons, some aesthetically, some spiritually. I can’t quite articulate why they occur, I suppose that’s not for me to know yet.
If you find my soul somewhere, please return graciously.
With love,
Loo
How do you fall back in love with life?
clean your room. clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders. clean the dishes. sweep. take out the trash. peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them. take a long shower. scrub behind your knees. brush your teeth. (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can. the end result is worth it.)
pull out your notebook. it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while. fuck moleskins. the yellow legal pad will work fine. sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list. count clouds. describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise. sketch the cracks in the walls. note the shape light makes when it enters a space. talk about what the air tastes like, smells like. what sounds are there? even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything. remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail. remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness. your world is fathomless. it has potential.
drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed. it does not need to be fancy. buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions. eat it outside. if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs. take your fucking meds. remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body. your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor. take care of it.
read a novel. underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen. read a novel like it’s poetry. read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious. watch a movie you haven’t seen before. if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one. take your time. let yourself bask. if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
your chosen family is important. remember, they picked you as much as you picked them. the love has no obligation. it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion. you are not a burden. if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people. when they need you, listen and be gracious. always be gracious. the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
listen to new music. link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that. listen to something that you don’t usually listen to. we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music. we are falling in love again. the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.
allow yourself to indulge in romantics. press flowers in old books. play movies with subtitles and mouth the words. dance in your room. wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public. write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them. write poetry, even awful poetry. revel in its awfulness. eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.
Note to self: do not let a piece of clothing dictate your mood. It’s not worth it. Change your clothes if you’re uncomfortable and move on. You had the same amount of worth before and after you tried it on.
A mantra that this ghostie uses ✨🌿 ✨
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Sometimes you don’t start your day until 2pm. Sometimes you have to put on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt instead of sweatpants in order to feel good about yourself. Sometimes it’s really fucking hard to get up and take a shower or brush your teeth. Sometimes it’s really fucking hard to take care of yourself and it’s okay. That is okay. Simple things aren’t always easy and simple things being hard doesn’t make you weak, you are doing the best you can and some days there are things you just can’t do and that’s okay. You are healing. You are trying. Do what you need to do to feel good.
“There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.”
~Mel Robbins
When i saw this quote, I started thinking… what you are worth does not change based on who thinks what about you.
So, what does that mean exactly? Well, I think it means that your own thoughts about yourself do not affect what you’re worth. Interesting, huh?
I’m not going to lie here, I’ve been having a very rough time lately, and this quote made me think twice about doing certain things… (Shallow that a mere quote helped? Perhaps… But that’s not my point.)
Let’s face it, we all deal with self-worth issues on some level at some times in our lives. We often ask ourselves questions or say things to ourselves that are similar to: “Am I good enough?” - “Am I worth it for someone to love?” - “I’m not good at [insert skill]; I must be a failure…” - “I feel broken. I don’t want to burden others with my problems… No one wants a broken friend.”
All these questions are very real to us all, and no amount of writing I can do will ever be able to magically fix everything, even though I would do nearly anything to be able to do that. But, what I can do is reassure you…
Listen, friend, your worth is not determined by your skills. Your worth is not determined by how put-together you are. Your worth is not determined by what someone else said about you or thinks about you. Your thoughts about yourself are not a reflection about how much you’re worth. Your worth is not up for debate.
You are worth more than simple words can say. You are a living, breathing human, and that alone is an incredible thing. I’m talking about you, the person reading this. Yes, I am<3 I may not know you, but I care about you. I want to see you walk in the knowledge that you are worth so so much. Will you join me and take the journey with me? We don’t all need to be alone.
If you want to join me in the journey toward more self-acceptance and believing more in your deep, inherent worth, leave a note to represent that you’re on this path; every note will be a person who is on the journey with us. We’re not alone. We don’t have to be. Look at the notes… We’re together in this<3
@a-cure-for-sentience, @infruitjuice, will you join me in this? I love you both so much!
“I was no longer searching for collarbones, I was searching for the next cafe with cute plates of delicious food- I was no longer looking for the space between my thighs, I was looking for space to get away and enjoy the weather with someone or alone- I was no longer searching for the perfect body, I was searching for an earth shaking, passionate, relationship with myself”
— Anna Maria Petovello
eating
1. eating in a way that supports you is healthy eating. no matter what you are eating 2. eat at least one treat every day. unwind over a milky hot drink and something baked, lounge in the sun with an ice cream. take time out to really, really savour food 3. greens are just as important desserts 4. move because it feels good, nothing else 5. you dont have to move to eat. 6. you can bloody well drink your calories if you want to 7. fats make everything taste better. and the fat from an avocado does the same thing as the fat from a chocolate bar 8. you can eat all the lean clean greens you want, but itll never make a difference to your health if you dont truly respect your body 9. honour your hunger, respect your fullness 10. sometimes you’ll be full, but you’ll eat the birthday cake anyway. thats ok. 11. chill the fuck out
“This whole ‘recovery thing’ is so confusing. It’s like I’m learning how to swim but the only way to learn is to throw myself into the water and start drowning. To get over my anxiety is to feel it and I find myself running towards what’s safe (my eating disorder). You see recovery isn’t safe–it’s scary but that’s okay because at least I’m feeling something. At least I’m learning how to swim even if I feel like I’m drowning.”
— recovery is drowning but that’s okay
recovery isn’t about fitness recovery isnt about gaining back all the weight in muscle recovery isnt lifting, running, yoga, journalling, pint parties, #strongnotskinny, or a million and one gym selfies recovery isnt about your lowest weight or the amount of time you spend in treatment recovery is about coping recovery is about learning and if you genuinely love how strong you feel when you hit a pr, if yoga brings you close to your body in the least painful way possible, if fear food fridays help you expand you diet and become healthy, babe fucking go for it but if you low weight was still “healthy”, if you like pop tarts for breakfast and real ice cream instead of “nice cream”, if you want to keep eating meat, if you really like doing puzzles all day, if the only way to stay afloat amongst the raging storm of the ed thoughts is to stay in bed and watch netflix, im here for you. if you have a soft tummy and no butt and lots of thigh without a quad in sight, youre fucking gorgeous, and im here for you. if egg white oatmeal and protein pancakes arent your jam, im here for you. im here for the people whose recovery isnt pretty. im here for the people who messy cry over an apple, im here for the people who have pizza and fries for dinner, im here for the people who went above their pre ed weight, im here for the people who feel like they recovered “wrong” because they never went to treatment, because their “team” was a gp and his scale. im here for the people who didnt recover on instagram, im here for the people who didnt come out of their recoveries a warrior, or a soldier, or a fighter. im here for the people who just let themselves be themselves. im here for the people who arent recovering yet, im here for the people who struggle to make that choice, and im here for the people who walk the line between relapse and recovery.
may we raise all of you, may you all find peace, and may social media stop with the fucking bullshit
“Eating disorders are NOT all about food and weight and body image. They are associated yes, but not exactly… I wish so desperately that people would stop blaming eating disorders on vanity, looks or insecurity. They are ever entrancing mental illnesses that often stem from an inability to communicate pain, discomfort or rejection. Eating disorders don’t just develop because you want to ‘lose a few pounds, or because you eat too much or you purge sometimes’, they develop because you are seeking a way in which to disappear, to numb, to disconnect. Recovery does not happen by fixating on this idea of loving yourself whole-heartedly, every day, 24/7; but by being able to live DESPITE not liking yourself. Living despite the obsessions and maladaptive coping mechanisms and decades of unlearning habits and behaviors. Eating disorders are the only disease in which the posion AND the cure are within the same person fighting the disease in the first place.”
— I Am My Own Cure (Gracie Mandel)
If you think about it, loneliness is truly a lie from the enemy. It is a lie that tries to convince us that Who we have, is not enough… that God alone, is not enough.
Lord, I pray for my heart, and for every other heart that is in a spiritual battle with loneliness today. May Your love remind us of truth. May Your peace fill us.
you gotta be your own best friend
make yourself laugh, make yourself feel better, know what you need, laugh at your mistakes, and do whats best for you
and most importantly, talk to yourself like you’re your best friend. i don’t mean out loud (i mean i guess you could?) but like, would you call your best friend ugly? would you bag on them for not having a s.o.? would you discourage them from chasing a dream? would you hate them for not having a perfect body?
life is so much better when you got your own back, because half the time, you’re the only one who does
an incomplete self-care checklist for people who experience secondary trauma after an act of violence:
social support is crucial. who can you process and cry with? sit with? get out with?
basic physical needs:
make sure you’re eating–choose foods that go down easy and are energy-dense
let yourself rest–sleep, meditate, zone out, give your body space to process its emotional & physical responses
grounding–how can you connect with your surroundings? smells? colors? textures? what can you apprehend w your senses in a gentle way? you are here now.
self-talk–what do you need to hear?
“this is a moment of suffering.”
“it’s normal to feel this way.”
“you are not alone in your feelings.”
“you are safe in this moment.”
“i’m here for you.”
“what do you need?”
regulating media use–how much news is too much? can you notice in your body when media use goes from informative to punishing or hurtful? can you take a break for the above suggestions before resuming?
there is no right way to grieve, and we don’t control the process! this is simply an invitation to practice kindness to ourselves as/if that practice is available to us in our grief (and rage, and fear, etc.).
