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Inspired by @eggblackoutpoetry

[hungwy]

I've been calling myself an ipad baby ever since i got my android tablet but ive also been using ipad baby as a verb like. im going to go ipad baby now. and today i said something that revealed i also conceptualize ipad baby as the tablet itself like. im using the ipad baby right now. so ipad baby is basically a very versatile term for me these days

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Bread (4)

[kurulover]

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

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Bread (1)

[txttletale]

one of my favourite funny little things about this website is when you make a post like 'killing you to death with a spear formation' and somebody reblogs it tagged #q #spear formation like i'm so happy to know you're keeping your dedicated spear formation tag well curated babe keep it up

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[audliminal]

Having short hair really is just

I get up. I walk into the bathroom. I glance in the mirror. My hair is posed in a brand new, never-before-seen array that defies the laws of physics.

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[rpfofficial]

comes back from the idgaf war covered in blood and missing a limb and still not knowing who won

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[redstonedust]

people in movies always seem to know when the weird dream they had was prophetic. i feel like i'd be way too dense for that. i'd have a higher power beam precise instructions on how to fix the world forever into my brain and wake up like "wow that was way more pleasant and coherent than my usual dreams about endlessly running through my local small theme park" and then forget. and then forget. and then forget.

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[dragon-in-a-fez]

I'm a sucker for a good "you think you're in one horror subgenre but it's actually a different horror subgenre". character struggling to accept that maybe demons are tormenting them suddenly finds out it's actually aliens. trope of all time tbh

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[not100bees]

The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.

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[mrsfurley]

Can i be a muse for somebody i dont care if the thing sucks. Id be a muse for somebodys computer science project . Idgaf anymore

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[curioscurio]

here's another fun one: big rat.

every hour, one random tumblr user gets chosen to have a big rat (it has to be a rat) sit on top of their posts. Thats 8,760 rat opportunities per year. big rat sits on all their posts for an hour. if you get picked for big rat and youre not on tumblr well sorry you missed it. but wouldn't that make it all the more special? People could ask "who has big rat right now?" And send their friends screenshots of when big rat sat on top of their posts. the people would love big rat.

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[wizardshark]

I love being a popular Tumblr user so I can give my failmutuals 10-20 more notes on their posts

[wizardshark]

lets go team hey wait what was that last one

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

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[forgotten80sfilm]

put that objectively not blonde but kind of light brunette dirty blonde sort of sandy sometimes blonde man in a situation

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[medievalsquire]

my knight keeps saying fuck it we ball before charging into battles and it's reallynot inspiring confidence in my heart

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[desolationlesbian]

whenever I see jokes about anarchy chess or chess with nine boards or whatever I think about the manuscript about board games from like the 1300s commissioned by spanish royalty (libro de los juegos) which contains a bunch of chess variations including one with four players where the moves are decided by dice roll and another with extra pieces like "the unicorn." so the conclusion is that chess players have literally always been like this

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[orteil42]

i always love when a horror movie is like ohh we are a group of people from various backgrounds stuck together in this motel/gas station/roadside diner/grocery store/shopping mall/warehouse/underground bunker/fallout shelter/research facility/military compound/prison/police station/office building/apartment building/school/hospital/church/bar/music club/amusement park/resort/boat of some kind. the baddies are coming. quick! let us organize into some sort of social commentary

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[cutecipher]

eggs over easy

eggs over normal

eggs over hard

eggs over extreme

eggs over new game+

hashbrowns dlc

sausage season pass

scrambled cosmetic pack

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Bread (1)