Cognizant Corpse

Consistently confounded by my continuous consciousness. (I can’t believe I ain’t dead yet)

[breadcrumbhoarder]

I had a dream where someone made omurice but they like put sugar in the pan first so it had a slightly crunchy, crème brûlée like outside, and I feel the need to speak this into the universe in case some brave soul tries making it.

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[calciumcryptid]

I feel like a lot of people get "All Art is Political" confused with "All Art is made with Political Intentions" which is not the same.

[0meadow-deactivated20200602]

[maxxie-or-smth]

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

[strangestcase]

Good news! This story exists, it’s called The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

[lonelyroommp3]

when you show up to the met gala you should immediately be faced with a panel of fashion experts and art historians before you even get to the red carpet and you have to explain your outfit choice and why it is on theme for that year’s event like you are defending a phd and if you can’t produce a coherent defence they turn you away at the door and the people of manhattan are allowed and encouraged to throw rotten produce at you as you get back into your car in shame

[mysharona1987]

[butt-rice]

i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole

[newlyy]

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[partywithponies]

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

we went from “just google it” to “just ask chatgpt” too fast.

people in my life, my friends, family, colleagues, they don’t say “google it” anymore. they just say “ask chat”, “just ask chat”, “let me ask chatgpt real quick”. like only a few years ago we were googling shit man

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[renaud-reblogs]

Desperately want to see how a meeting between sir hop-a-lot and Prince Gerard of Greenleigh would go

One is ashamed to be frog shaped the other thinks frogs are like. The height of chivalry and nobility. Of course the most noble animal is a frog, he’s glad Gerard is one now! What luck for him! He won’t hold it against Gerard that he used to be human Sir hop-a-lot would never

But like also would they fight because we KNOW who the better fighter is (and I don’t think it’s mr. “Sword forms book out 24/7”, as much as I deeply love Gerard lol)