shino is here. pay attention to him. pls.
the most interesting thing about relationships is that they're nothing like kankuro imagined.
naturally, his views on relationships have changed and developed over the years. gone are the days of his disdain for them— the belief that every single one of them is doomed for failure, for violence, for neglect, for death— replaced instead with... confusion. not for the concept of a relationship, but for a lack of understanding in the feeling.
he watches his siblings love and be loved and it doesn't make sense. kankuro's been unable to go more than a few nights with a person before getting tired. before letting the intrusive (and likely fear-fueled) thoughts get to him, which usually ends in a cocky salute and a that was fun, let's do it again sometime. except there isn't usually a next time.
temari's relationship is filled with banter. one smartass and another smartass is the perfect recipe for bickering, arguments that aren't actually arguments, little insults that apparently neither of them take offense to. in the beginning, kankuro wonders if he should be concerned for all temari's complaints. then again, his sister is fairly private. she and shikamaru aren't ones for pda or announcing their love for the world to hear. that, kankuro assumes, is reserved for them and them alone. likely temari's way of keeping this sacred love safe and out of reach of dead demons that can no longer hurt them.
gaara's relationship, however, is loud. proud. everyone within a mile knows its intensity. sometimes, kankuro wonders if his little brother minds it at all. lee is physical, always seeking out touch and kisses and not caring who's around to see it. as if no one but he and gaara exist when their eyes are on each other. it's... jarring, at times. kankuro doesn't know what he'd do if he were under that kind of attention all the time.
but despite this, despite any confusion he may have on feeling so strongly for another person, he knows what they have is real. he knows that what they have is what his mother had deserved and not gotten. what his father was supposed to give but was incapable of. perhaps his ignorance is just further proof that he is his father's son.
at least, that's what he'd told himself before shino.
shino, who is both private and proud. who will hold his hand but also show nothing the way he does at home. who likes knowing that people are aware of their love but uncaring if people aren't. there's no pressure when they're together, and maybe that's what kankuro fails to understand about temari and gaara's relationships. feeling love, being in love, requires no pressure. how could it, when it feels so natural to pull shino against him after a long and grueling mission, sweat and dirt still clinging to both himself and his clothes? shino doesn't even complain about the grime, simply kisses his temple and asks him how it went. mentions the cold soba he'd made for dinner and how kankuro can eat it after a warm shower.
relationships are nothing like kankuro imagined, and he's grateful to have been so wrong.
this love will put me back together // @kyousei.
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