i want to write some good things down too because I'm hoping it'll reinforce them (i can't keep myself from venting about the bad things so i think i need to offset it bc it matters what gets dwelled on and what gets the luxury of being articulated) so: i had a pretty bad time today but after that i thought about it more and talked with my mother (hr manager lol) and now it doesn't feel like much of a loss or a mistake. it was not right that's not what i want i deserve something that suits me more and I'm going to be fine here with my tiny salary for the time being and my life isn't over and it might even begin soon if i try harder. the interview was a great learning experience now i know how i fare in that situation, and i think i did well, they called me back. i can be a normal person. there are no direct obstacles, to getting a job like i can do things others do and might have a place in society. and also this has gifted me extra appreciation for my current job, the work culture, the environment, the coworkers, them especially, I'm so glad to be around them and i miss them a lottttt unfortunately i miss that one guy too but i can't keep lashing myself over it I'll just let it pass through quickly and without struggle I'm like the riverbed just letting it pass through me. there will be other opportunities, maybe it'll take a long time and a lot of searching and many attempts and maybe I'll feel helpless and humiliated but a good outcome is possible eventually. Also last month i Fully ran out of money and this month i didn't so i may be capable of learning or making minor adjustments. that's huge for me
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