bredren to bredren @bredrentobredren - Tumblr Blog

take a photo with mom. take a photo with dad. looks about right.

christmas was different this year. no family gatherings or dinners. we went around before to drop off some food and gifts. zoom chats with family on christmas day. but we also got to maybe start some of our traditions. french toast for breakfast. we watched snowy day and charlie brown. we were lucky to have a white christmas and enjoyed the good weather. it wasn't typical, but it was memorable.

bye bye bottle.

the joys of fatherhood. like no other. https://www.instagram.com/p/By2r_MxBtWHOV3Opwav7booXDPo_9kCxTrDkv00/?igshid=1xw59s2el3jd

my drama queen. https://www.instagram.com/p/ByB9XR6BZrMvo8e7bUP0BjL7hu1anwmM9hVF940/?igshid=1ddzxkxv4k8wh

The dynamic duo will be separated from 9-5, m-f. New beginnings. New season. By 10am, I made j cry. Words were said. Apologies were made. We will be ok... we miss mama. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx-N_TTBxZMCiGOGGydyk1bUMAJGuPtATCejL40/?igshid=19x409tsln6uc

home for now. not sure where to start, four months flew by. as i reflect, i’m not sure if i could handle j on my own for four months. i am glad we did it together. it was fun and its become the norm. but change is coming and we are preparing for it, logistically and emotionally.

the best thing over the last four months was just to see j develop. she is more playful and engaging now. she went from squatting to running over this time as well. her overall understanding is just immense and continues to amaze me. happy i was able to be here for so many milestones.

it’s always better when we’re together. i wasn’t sure what to expect being off for so long. maybe slightly bored, but routine was nice, j thrives on it. i loved doing everything together with c. we would fight to put her down for naps or nighttime, although we did it together most of the time. or who would go console her when she’s struggling to sleep. not sure if we fought to change diapers, but we were both offering to change it! my love has grown for c. the sacrifices she has taken. motherhood has changed her, just like fatherhood has changed me, for the better. this time off has not only strengthen our bond as a three, but also our marriage.

one thing i’ll miss is breastfeeding time. not specific to just these four months, but since birth. being present for those times was important. being there at first was more practical, positioning j when she was learning to latch, getting c comfortable after a good latch, or just getting water or c’s phone. as much as it was bonding for c and j, i felt more connected just being there. sometimes i would sit there on my phone, sometimes i would be tired and just lying on the floor, sometimes i would pass out, sometimes we would chat and catch up, or sometimes we would just marvel at j. this time has lessened, but not forgotten.

hugs and kisses. j has never been very an affectionate or cuddly one. it is very much forced by c and i. but as she can understand and listen now, she can do these little things. although she loves thumper and pink bear more, much much more, she still has a soft spot for her parents. my heart melts just a little when j would be playing on her own and randomly run up to me in the kitchen and hug my leg.

relentless and brave. j is always daring and pushing your boundaries. running like crazy or trying to climb things. j is also somehow extraverted, very evident on vacation. she does have another gear when she is away from home, her comfort zone. she was much more verbal when were in europe, which held true in asia. she was also very social in asia. running up to ppl in square, malls and public transit. sometimes just staring, other times she would smile or wave. it was fun, but also exhausting.

four months went by very quickly, that happens all is good. we did some pretty routine things. we did some pretty amazing things. we traveled across the world together and saw new things. j continues to grow and amaze us, dad goggles are always on. j is beautiful, mullet and all, dad googles still on. this bond and time together will forever be cherished and remembered.

seven weeks.

i was very excited pitching the trip to c. more excited while planning to the trip. but got nervous as the trip approached. nervous about a flight with an active toddler, nervous about jet lag, nervous about overall travel plans with j.

after it was all said and done, it was a trip of a lifetime. traveling with a toddler is different. pace is slower. more selective with airbnbs and hotels. looking for elevators everywhere we go. looking at how family friendly restaurants are. but it was worth it and i wouldn’t have changed a thing. the company made the trip.

we might not have seen as much as we would have in seven weeks, but we saw all that we wanted to see. we got to experience new things together as a family. we got to eat amazing food, and some soso stuff too. we got to see j learn new things and be very extroverted with everyone around.

hong kong was familiar. minimal language barrier, familiar bus routes and stations, it felt like home…ish. we got into routine and hit up the near by playgrounds that j ended up loving. our parents got there before us and helped us immensely with the initial transition. living close to my aunt gave us access to home cooked meals which were lifesavers and delicious. philippines was an audible. there was some poor planning on my end and what i wanted to do while we were there. we scraped those ideas and ended up just staying put in cebu. no crazy sightseeing or attractions, we honestly didn’t do much. but it felt like a vacation as we were well rested.

japan was relaxing and overwhelming. one of our best meals was in osaka. kyoto was our favourite. small town feel with lots of amenities around. easy to get around. beautiful architecture all round. private onsen in hakone was key. clear views of fuji was amazing. tokyo was a lot. took the wrong trains a few times at first. sardines on the subway during rush hour. too much shopping.

what’s not seen in the pictures: j sleeping for approx 3 hours on a 15 hour flight to hk. she did adjust to jet lag really well. we would try our best to go back to hotels/airbnb for naps. this would restrict where we can go, how far and how long. or on those days we stayed out longer, she would fight us and be a total grump for missing her nap. she loves to hair pull and whine when she over tired. traveling with a play pen was a lifesaver, we can’t co-sleep. our search for restaurants has changed. we wanted to try more places. we would look for places with less wait times. we need chairs with a backing that would fit her travel seat, no stools. having said that, we did eat well.

we did it. seven weeks away from home, i thought i was going to get homesick around week 2 or 3. didn’t really get that feeling till the last week in tokyo. besides all the sights we saw and the food we ate, we did it together. on the trip, it was a constant reflection and thankfulness that we could do this together. to travel together. to feed j together. to put her down for naps and night nights together. although we were in a foreign place, it felt like home cause of who we were with.

gone seven weeks. coming back with a toddler.

crazy family!

looking back. looking forward.

i entered 2018 with anticipation, waiting for you. you came promptly, on your due date, and our lives were changed from that day forward. 2018 was all about you (i’m sure 2019 will be similar), and i wouldn’t have changed a thing. there were times of frustration and tiredness, but more times of joy, laughter and awe.

the first month was surviving. getting use to having someone to take care of. we were so exhausted once you were born, we weren’t even thinking straight. also, we were in the diaper routine yet. so we forgot to change your diaper for a long time, not even sure how long between some of your diaper changes. grandparents helped with bringing us food often. you were still sleeping in the bassinet and even able to sleep downstairs with us. going back to work after a month was hard. it was hard leaving mom and you. luckily you started to develop some good sleeping habits to make things a bit easier.

next few months were routine. figure out your sleeping routine, your eating routine. once the weather got warmer, we started to go out on walks and run errands.

by may, you were on your first road trip with new passport and nexus in hand. the summer was random outings and picnics. much easier when you weren’t on solids yet. in july you started to roll over and we started you on solids. in august you started to sit up and crawl, so we had to lower your bed. in september you had your first haircut and took your first flight. in october you were pulling yourself up. in november you were dedicated. in december you had your first christmas and took your first steps on your own.

you have not been affectionate or cuddly since you were born. but you have started to give your mom and i little kisses, and it just melts my heart. you laugh at the most silliest of things. have the best facial expressions. you bring us so much joy. i couldn’t imagine life without you now.

as i reflect on this past year, i felt at home. parenting is not easy, but it hasn’t been dififcult either and it has been very rewarding. i can work on being a bit more patient... but you have been so chill and we have had great support (from practical help to sleep training and other tips). but it’s felt so natural to have you around, to change diapers, to clean up after you.

2019 will be a year a changes. i have been home for the first month with you and mom. we head off on a crazy 7 week trip to asia soon. and mom will be going back to work mid year. lots of moving and transitions coming up. it won’t be easy. but it will be memorable, without a doubt. on top of all that, you will continue to develop and grow. i will continue to be in awe in all you do.