Winter Breeze

I don't always have much to say...

[breezytale]

Guess who

Even when I feel lonely, you're still there. Whenever I fall you're the one I land on. When I lay in bed crying at night, you're the one that holds me. When I was sixteen and gave you my hand I didn't realize it meant giving you my life too. When I held that blade to my skin, you were the one to drag it. When I thought I needed a change in my life, you thought it were better to end it. You are always here and I can not get rid of you.

-Anila

[breezytale]

[breezytale]

I became the empty feeling inside me

[breezytale]

A Broken Wall

I put years of work and dedication to build up my walls. Walls that were meant to keep me safe and make me stronger. Nothing could hurt me. I kept myself protected from vulnerability. I wasn’t going to let anything in because every time I had, I gave up my everything. Being taken advantage of and told I was loved and cared about only to be hurt again and again. One day I decided to build a wall. Brick by brick. I began to focus on myself and becoming better and loving myself. I didn’t need anyone else because I had myself. I learned to love, care and take care of myself. For once in my life I became my own friend and cared for myself as much as I cared for everyone that walked in and out of my life. The happier I became with myself the more people that entered my life. I surrounded myself with smiling faces. Happiness filled my heart. Then there was you. You broke my wall down. Not all at once but piece by piece. So slowly that I was too distracted to notice. Our laughter covered the noise of crashing bricks. Your eyes consumed my vision. By the time I noticed what was happening it was too late. My wall was down and you were standing next to me holding my hand. My heart was in the palm of your hands. I felt more vulnerable than ever. I became so comfortable in your arms that I forgot to protect myself. My heart still so damaged. Something that should feel like love and peace and safety feels like a waiting game. I’m just waiting to be hurt again. I wish I could stop that feeling and just be happy. Since you broke my wall I guess I must trust in you.

[breezytale]

11-18-15

You are my good night sleep. You are my motivation and my inspiration. You make my bad mood better. You... You just have to smile and the pain sitting in my chest is lifted. You are my relief and release. You make me feel myself. You make me comfortable in my own skin. You are the best friend I could ever ask for. You are the best listener and more understanding than you should be. You are the best thing to have happened to me. My Best Love. I hope one day I can make you My Only Love and make you my husband. I love you more than I could love any drug. Sincerely, Your girl. -A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

11-17-15. A Text To Amri About Him

Fuck Being in love is fucking scary.... Why's that? Because you don't know where things will go. You don't know what they want and you might not even know what you want. You don't know if things could end and end badly or in a few weeks or a few years when you don't know how to love anyone else but that person. How do you know if this love is true and going to last. Or if in a few years you end up alone and sad and you don't know how to be without that person. But it's amazing and great because this could be the person I spend the rest of my life with. And wake up with every morning and be happy and live together and have little munchkins run around and everything is great. But right now it's scary because who knows for sure. I want to just be in the moment and be happy and in love. I just need reassurance sometimes because it's scary He loves you. You can see it in his eyes when ever he talks to you. When ever he sees you. Honestly there is no way to know for sure. All you can do is hope that he's the one. You both love each other so much. You guys light up a room even if you are mad at each other. You guys have made it through so much and have been together for a while. You see the best in each other. And you complete him as he does you. -A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

11-16-2015

I want to love and run away. I love to be in love and share my love. Spread good vibes to the ones in need until they care on. I love to smile and laugh. I love to cuddle under a blanket in the cold. I love to have no place to go yet be where I am comfortable. I love to forgive and forget. I love to be happy. I love to not be hated. I love to dream and have ambition. But I want to run away. To find more happiness. To find more warmth and love and safety. To find where I belong. To find security and adventure. I want to find my home.

-A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

11-9-2015

Never have I felt nothing as well as everything. I feel accomplished. I am in love. I feel more loved than I ever have. I am accepted by the ones I love. I feel sadness and pain and happiness, love and passion all in one wave. A combination for feelings and emotions that make me feel empty…. All until the moment I lie in his arms, the moment I see her smile and feel the warmth of their love. We aren’t related but we are family. My family is what makes me feel. They are my home and my heart.

-A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

10-12-15

I see this life Full of smiles and laughter You hold my happiness and my future Our love is like dancing in the moon light to our song Like a rainy day, Good thing we like the cold I dream about the things we will be I've fallen right into you No one could ever replace you Every little thing you do reminds me that this is true For all the times we've been through, good and bad Our love continues to grow better with time I may have never known what love was if you weren't in my life I love you. -A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

[breezytale]

8-13-15

I'm too numb Too sad And hurt to write tonight. -whatever

[breezytale]

8-12-15

People can hurt you Without touching you Words can sting Being said behind your back Tears can fall And no one will know I can disappear And who would notice -A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

8-10-15

Though it's cliche it just may be true All things happen for a reason Getting called into work early Leaving 30 minutes early Someone taking a parking spot you were going for Someone letting you cut in front of them at the store The temptation of going to look at adoptable puppies Catching red lights the whole way home Today that all led up to me being able to be there for someone in a time of need. Therfore everything happens for a reason. -A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

8-9-15

Seeing a loved one in pain does hurt. But instead of hurting with them find a reason, even better be the reason to laugh and enjoy the time we have. Build a house of love. To protect them. -A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

Control 8-8-15

Can I feel something Other than tears flowing Never would I have guessed That I'd be here crying at 3 a.m. Only my thoughts to keep company Left without control.... -A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

8-8-15

What hurts the most is you knew that what you were doing would hurt. You said sorry and that you love me... Those words pierced my heart. I don't see how you could speak in honesty. You left me as I cried, cold and alone. In an empty room I grew smaller and fragile. I could never give up on you... Only myself. What hurts the most... -A.S. Winter Breeze

[breezytale]

2/24/15

Light is Lost

The light of this world is being lost

Taken from those who need it most

To leave, dismiss and abandon their minds

To be lost, submerged into darkness

Leaving some with monstrous thoughts

Alone to fight the demons within

A fight against themselves

But a fight that is rarely won

Their heart hurting

Mind lost

Cheeks tear stained

Left by the light

To feel empty

Feel completely abandoned

Loss of hope,

Happiness

And liveliness

Being crushed by darkness, pain and loneliness

To think you are alone

That this place is not your place

Thinking there's no chance

Trying for so long

To find the light again

For the darkness is full of sin

And forever lost souls

Gone forever in the shadows of the world

Never touched by the warmth

Light that is held in the hands of broken and healing hearts

Being given from one to another

Saving and healing

Putting broken pieces together

Light shines through the cracks

Maybe light isn't lost...

-A.S.

Winter Breeze