Lionheart Girl

Lily Evans ~ 1x1

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

Overwhelmed but in the best possible way he let out a low laugh, his eyes leaving her face and seeking solace elsewhere but he never found it. It wasn’t in the carpet or on the streets, it was only here, with her hand in his. Rabastan knew better than to make one person his world, his reason and he promised himself right there and then that he wouldn’t do that to Lily. To grow, to become something that might last, he couldn’t think she was going to save him, he had to save himself.

“I’m not sure what to ask.” He admitted. Now the door was open there was so much to know, to ask, to learn. He realized as well that she’d have questions for him and he was afraid again, he tensed. Would she run from him? If she knew the extent of his—if she learned about who he was outside of this apartment, outside of dark alleys already broken, would she change her mind about wanting to be with him. 

“Lily I–” He didn’t want this to get so difficult, so quickly. And yet everything with him was complicated and hard. But she was here, she’d seen some of it and she kept coming back to him. He tried to hold on to hope, he gripped it tight with both hands. “I want to get to know you, the stupid stuff like favorite color and—all the muggle things you did as a kid or something. But I know you’re going to ask about me too and I just want you to be prepared for answers that might not be—happy.”

In the time they’d been spending together, Lily had never seen him laugh so much. It brought warmth to her heart and she wanted to hear it for the rest of her life. She couldn’t remember a time she felt this much joy, this much peace, but she wasn’t naive enough to believe that it’d always be like this. If it was, it would be nothing more than a fallacy and she didn’t want that. She wanted it to be real, tangible, painful, incredible, and everything in between. They could grow together, but separately. She wanted that for them both. 

“It’s strange, having the door open,” she agreed, because despite the fact that they’d been growing closer there were still a sense of hesitancy at saying the wrong thing. Still, she couldn’t help but smile as she spoke, “You know that I’m a detective, and a private one at that. I don’t think I’ve ever told you why - maybe you’ve figured it out or come up with your own conclusion, but truthfully, I don’t like the way the Ministry runs. There’s too much politics, too much red tape, and a lot of corruption. I always wanted to operate outside of them so that if there every came a day that they needed to be investigated, someone could do it” she admitted. 

As he fought for words, she kept silent. She knew that it was best to wait him out; to let him put his words together himself. Lily absentmindedly rubbed circles on the back of his hand as he spoke. For a moment she thought about his words, and it was something she’d thought about before her feelings had even been voiced. It was a discussion she’d had with Mary when she was sorting through her emotions. In the end, Lily always came back to the same conclusion. Her hand gave a gentle squeeze as she looked up to meet his eye. 

“I know, Bas. I haven’t fooled myself into believing that there is only light in you - that the person in this apartment, the person that I get to see is all there is. I know that, and I know there’s things I don’t know, things you’ve seen and maybe even done that I don’t approve of, but I’ve known that from the beginning. Despite that, I know there’s goodness inside of you, and you’re worth it. The goodness, the darkness, it’s worth it” she admitted. Lily looked down for a moment, “Despite what everyone thinks, I’m not-” she paused for a moment. What she was about to say was part of the reason that her last relationship fell apart. Still, she said it anyways, “I’m not a perfect moral compass. No one is pure light, and I’m not an exception to that.” 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

Time, he needed more time. It seemed to be the thing he lacked the most, in front of compassion, empathy; even darkness he seemed to have in abundance as the seconds of his life fell through an hourglass. Everything slowed down when she was near, he heard her laugh, felt her care, all so much more compact and clear than any other moments in his life, everything except the pain. Though he’d told her why he picked fights, why he let himself lose and why she wasn’t allowed to heal everything when she did he knew; Rabastan knew his habit was self destructive, masochistic and he felt he couldn’t blame anyone for that but himself, not even his father. But he did deserve it, that much had been drilled into him so often and so harshly that he couldn’t shake it. 

The man he’d become was still so controlled, it was why he had this apartment in secret, a chance to explore who he was without any other influence. Bas found he liked old records, that noise was necessary for him and that’s why he loved the train that rattled by just a block away. It was why he had music playing every second he was there if he wasn’t asleep and sometimes even then. He had loads of tea and even an electric kettle and he found he enjoyed muggle tech. But who he was inside was still a mystery to him. He knew there was love inside, that he had it in spares to give but she offered him the same peace he got when he was being battered and the very idea he could escape his self destruction through love was hitting him hard.

He didn’t want to rush it, not at all, for some reason he was convinced this could last if they were smart, if they were careful and if their love was strong enough. It was foolish, he knew the realities were harsh but when she smiled at him, those eyes so focused on him, so full of—–he knew, he knew he’d likely give his life to protect hers and he’d risk it all to be with her.

When she said yes he relaxed further, letting go of some lingering tension in his body, a task that used to be incredibly difficult for him to do. He held onto her hand but made no move to get closer, it had to be organic or he’d know he was willing something false into existence just by mere desire. “So, the bachelor then? Or do you want to talk?” if she had more questions for him, she seemed to have a couple every so often, he was happy to answer and it would be nice to get to know her. Her favorite things, her pet peeves, her secret hopes and dreams. The kinds of things couples talked about on dates, dates they had before they ended up in bed together, dates Rabastan had never had before.

Though it’d only been a year or so since her days in Hogwarts, Lily felt like a completely different person then she’d been. She’d been naive enough to believe that her friendships from those days were going to last forever. Some would, to some degree, but most did not. Truthfully, Lily had always had reservations about being with James, and he proved her right in the end. As the war got darker, his possession of her got stronger. In the name of ‘keeping her safe’ he tried to suffocate who she was, and the strength that she harbored. No one had wanted to admit to it, but he’d grown controlling, and Lily had too much conviction to stay in a relationship that dampened her spirits. 

As most things do, it ended up going to far. Upon realizing that he couldn’t control her by simply using the war as an excuse, he started to lash out at her with his words. The fight that followed had ended everything, and despite her efforts, it ruined the majority of her major relationships. Out of her group of girls, Mary had been the only one to stand by her. While Remus didn’t blame her, he chose not to go against James and he’d all but declared her out of their little family. Her and Mary had gotten their own flat instead, and she’d never been happier. 

Learning who she was without him, without them, was a new experience. Many late night talks had been dedicated to the subject of how little they knew about themselves without their group, and in the end, it’d been beneficial for both her and Mary. Seeing them all at Order meetings had been hard at first, but it got easier as she started to piece back the bits of her heart that stung with betrayal. Rabastan had helped soothe it. His presence couldn’t fix the hurt she felt, but having a healthy relationship with him allowed her to remember what she was worth - how good things could really be. 

The tension was fully drained from her body at the realization that they were going to be spending a night together. It wouldn’t be her first night crashing at his flat, but it’d be the first night they shared together. Her hand gave his a light squeeze as she laughed, her head tipping back from the force of it, “The bachelor; I knew you couldn’t resist” she grinned. However, Lily turned so that her body was facing his, her legs crossing as she set their hands in her lap. “As much as I love watching that bloody show with you, I think I’d much rather talk. I’m sure you’ve got question, and I would be happy to answer them. I want you to know me fully - I want to know you completely” she admitted. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

The truth was that he felt the same way, maybe it wasn’t as clear for him because his fear and his doubt always crept in, especially when he was on the verge of true happiness. But Bas had felt something that first night, care and strength wrapped itself around her and she had extended it to him. What she was saying was very romantic and almost bordered on talk of fate, which he had to ignore. This couldn’t be a fairytale, it had to be real, because fairytales only had happy endings and his life just never worked out that way. Both feet on the ground, that’s how he had to go into this, if it was going to work.

Her hand on his was a comfort and they’d had soft touches like this, embraces that were warm and comfortable but this was different. It wasn’t tentative or controlled, she never was it seemed, she could read him as if  he were an open book even though he thought he was shut tight. She repeated herself like he’d asked and a warmth spread through his chest, but perhaps that was just the potion she’d given or the sign he was mending, physically and emotionally perhaps. His euphoric grin was hard to hide but he looked down again anyway, his ability to show happiness quite out of practice.

She unfolded herself, just another sign that this was mutual, it was helping them both blossom. She spoke of his worth and his face fell slightly, he wanted so badly to believe her but it wasn’t that simple. Maybe he was but that was something they’d both have to find out. But them, the two of them, what he felt for her? That might just be worth it. He tried not to overthink it again as he leaned in, eyes on hers until they flicked to her lips. This kiss was soft, it had love behind it instead of lust, not unlike the first one she’d planted on him just a bit ago. He didn’t hold her face in his hands, he didn’t run his fingers through her hair but he squeezed the hand she’d placed on his, these small touches meant more to him than anything else she could, or had, done. “I just had to do that, the right way, at least once.”

This wouldn’t be easy and he knew she realized that but she wanted to try and that made him want to try too. Without her reassurance he might never have admitted to his feelings and while he felt incredible now he wasn’t sure how long it would last. “Stay.” he blushed, looked away but came back to her again, those intoxicating green eyes. “Stay tonight. Not for sex or anything, but just—stay.” he laughed, normally he had a way with words but she had this effect on him, turning his brain to jello, his words to rambling nothings.

In a fairytale, that first night would have been enough. After a night of patching him up, talking candidly, and a small spark of affection igniting, they would have woken up the next morning and decided to pursue happily ever after. Neither of them believed in such a fate, not really. Lily knew she held affection for him, but she buried it, and it didn’t come at once. It grew as they spent time together, turning from affection, to attraction, to caring, to something beyond general friendship. Lily didn’t do things in halves, she never could, but that didn’t mean she gave herself up all at once. She unfolded in pieces, and the moment someone flinched away, she stopped unfolding all together. Rabastan hadn’t flinched. 

Despite the euphoria that hung between them, Lily knew the harsh realities of this. She knew that sometimes love wasn’t enough, and that relationships required more. They required effort, making the choice to love someone despite how difficult things were, and compromise. There was real danger presented to both of them at being together, but they were clever, careful, and willing to make it work. Lily’s thumb rubbed soothing circles over his hand as they sat there, both thinking, both feeling. Happiness was new to him, and she could see in the way he ducked down that it wasn’t something he was used to expression. In time she hoped he’d feel safe enough to show it around her. 

Looking at him, she could tell that he didn’t quite believe her, and that was okay. Lily had decided that he was worth it, but there was very little that would chance her stance. She’d learned to fight for what was important to her, and this, the possibility of them, was. His eyes flickered from her own green hues to her lips and she found herself leaning forwards so that she met him halfway. His lips brushed against her in a soft kiss. There wasn’t the heat, the lust that had been there before, but it was perfect. It was gentle and warm. Her hand laced with his, and she couldn’t imagine anything better than this. “I’m glad you did” she whispered, not pulling back far. 

As impulsive and emotion ruled as she could be, Lily was logical and she knew that nothing about this would be easy; nothing worth it never was. Lily didn’t mind the challenge of it all and she’d much rather try than live in the what if. The aftermath of tonight was something they could focus on later. For now, she wanted to just be in this moment. Her hand slowly moved to cup his face, but with a gentleness that hadn’t been there the first time. It was a caress not an act of passion. “I’d love to” she agreed, and she would. A hint of a blush rose on her cheeks but there was a relaxed smile on her lips as she answered, “I want nothing more than to stay with you tonight; to just be close” she hummed. Truthfully, she was happy he didn’t want to rush this. She’d be more than content to just lay in his arms. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

When she mentioned things being right in front of them his smile faltered. He didn’t want to read into that but how could he not? she was right in front of him and it seemed like she had feelings and he was denying them both the opportunity to explore it. With his fear, with how terrible his life had been and the things he’d done he had thought she could do better ,that she would, that she deserved more than a broken boy. But she kept showing up at his place, and they would talk and watch shows and eat. Whether either of them had realized it or not this had already become something more than mere friendship.

He hung on every word she spoke now, doing his best not to miss anything she said, to hear her and not just listen. He felt a mixture of elation, pure joy and extreme fear but fear had ruled his life for far too long. He was glad they’d stopped but he wanted that to happen, he couldn’t deny he wanted her like that. Still, it was more, he wanted more. She admitted she had feelings for him and he couldn’t stop the innocent and happy smile that grew on his face as he looked away, trying, for some reason, to hide his happiness. “That was the first night.” He said aloud, but he’d felt the same way. He didn’t remember a lot of what happened that night but he had enough to cherish the memory. 

Without overthinking it he scooted all the way over until he was touching her legs, it wasn’t sexual, just close. “say it again.” he asked earnestly, looking at her. He wanted to hear that she loved kissing him, that she liked being around him, that her feelings were overwhelming because he felt the same way. No one had ever cared for him the way she did, no one prioritized his feelings, no one allowed him space to hurt like she did. How could he not be falling for her?

Seeing the mix of emotions pass through him as she spoke caused a weight to come off her shoulders. There was a hint of fear behind his eyes, but there was always pure elation, and she hoped that he’d focused on that, and that she could ease his fear over time. Lily wanted the opportunity to reassure him. A warm smile spread on her lips as he ducked his head, but she wished he’d look backup. Happiness looked so good on him, and she wanted to make him feel that way as often as possible. Humming she nodded, “That was the first night. I don’t know Bas, but the moment I saw you in that alley I just - was drawn to you I guess. When we were talking I think some part of me felt something more,” she admitted. 

Instinctively, her hand moved so that it was resting overtop of his. Lily was thankful that he’d moved closer, and that she could feel his warmth again. A wide smile formed on her lips as she uncurled her body and allowed herself to be closer and more open to him, “I loved kissing you, and even if - even if it’d gone terribly wrong, I wouldn’t regret it. Our nights together are the best part of my week, Bas. I look forward to them. because I like spending time with you. I just love being around you” she reiterated, expanding on her points. 

Having him close again was comforting, reassuring, and Lily didn’t want to break this bubble of happiness that they were in. “You’re worth it, Bas. This, us, you - it’s worth it” she whispered. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

He nodded at her comment on Mary, when he’d met the blonde he’d been surprised how well she took to him. Bas was not used to being liked but Mary was genuine and she even joked with him. Something felt changed and he hated it, if they couldn’t be friends anymore he’d be destroyed, she was the closest thing he’d ever had to a friend and it would be such a foolish thing to lose her over a less than innocent moment of lust and vulnerability. “I do and that’s the issue. If I don’t watch it I can’t get emotionally invested, and then mad when they inevitably choose the wrong person.” He liked the show and he honestly watched it on his own so he could yell at the television and throw popcorn at it.

She put her food down and he felt like an ass, he didn’t mean to ruin her appetite—well, that appetite anyway. Or now, he supposed, he’d ruined both. Guilt swept through him as she curled into herself, physically she had made herself very small. “I umm—” he didn’t know what to say, it all felt so awkward and she seemed quite upset by it. Whether that was him stopping or it happening at all he didn’t know. 

 Bas was so tired of hiding everything, how he felt, why he felt it and he never thought he’d have to do that, about this, with Lily. When they’d become closer he had been so grateful and now he was afraid it was gone so he chose to be honest instead of awkward. “I was umm, I joked around maybe too much but it seemed like—it seemed like you wanted to–” he blushed red and ran both hands through his hair. “Lily I–I wanted to do that, I initiated it and the only reason I stopped was because–” could he admit to his feelings?

“It wasn’t even the roughness of it or the lust I was feeling. I stopped because of how you kissed me, that first one, the timid one.” He was rambling, he’d lost his train of thought and inhibition and now it was just word vomit. “because I think I—I have these feelings for you and I never acted on them before but that—I loved that, I wanted that I just didn’t want you to think I was just some guy after sex. I want —I want more than that and I didn’t want to sleep with you under those circumstances.”

Mary had been there when she had decided to leave James, and she’d helped her through it. Despite the fact that she’d been friends with him as well, she prioritized Lily’s feelings over his. Out of their friends, she was the only one to do so. She was still in contact with the others, but it felt weird, like a definite disconnect. After everything James had put her through, their friends had continued to justify his actions, and because of that she didn’t trust them nearly as much. It’d been Mary that stood by her, and validated her feelings. Growing closer to Rabastan had been a blessing. Though she’d lost people that were once her world, he was providing her with a healthy friendship. 

Laughing softly, she shook her head, “I understand that. It’s hard not to get invested when you watch it religiously. Plus, they never seem to make the right choice, even if it’s right in front of them” she agreed. Even so, Lily had looked forward to those nights they spent curled up on the couch watching the ridiculous show. 

Instead of trying to interject, she waited him out. She knew that Bas wasn’t used to opening up and he didn’t do it easily nor often, so she listened. Lily gave him her full attention, even if she was a little nervous about what the outcome would be. As he spoke, a blush formed high up on her cheek bones. She had wanted to, but to some degree she was glad they hadn’t. It’d be best to have this conversation now as opposed to after they’d crossed the line. 

She was curious as to what it was that held him back, but as he continued to ramble, Lily started to put the pieces together. Her heart hammered in her chest as he continued, as he opened his heart and put it out there for her. The fact he trusted her enough to be open gave her the courage to do the same, “I’m glad you stopped us, because I didn’t want it to be just a one time things, or well you know just sex, and I wouldn’t have known how to bring it up afterwards, I don’t think,” she admitted softly. Lily looked up at him, her eyes meeting his carefully as she continued, “I’ve had feelings for you for a while. Honestly I think they started the night we sat on my weird little rug. I want more too, and I’m glad we didn’t sleep together under those circumstances, but I - I loved kissing you. I just like being around you; sometimes so much so that it’s overwhelming” she confessed. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

He accepted the plate and immediately shoveled some into his mouth, he was really starving. “Mary has great suggestions, love that girl.” he followed her to the couch as he shoveled more of it into his mouth, sitting down with napkin in hand. “No listen, I hated the last guy so no way this one is worse but still. I could do without that drama in my life.” He was done with his food in moments and set the plate aside, getting comfortable despite the six feet of space now between them. 

It was impossible to forget how close they’d been just minutes ago and he longed to have her back in his arms. But it would be different, if he had planned it. The whole thing was so impulsive but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. “Maybe umm—” he rubbed his chin in discomfort and thought. “–talk about it?” how he’d get through the conversation was a mystery. 

A small smile formed on her lips at his words. Any other day and she’d be glowing with the fondness he felt towards Mary, but at the moment it made her stomach twist uncomfortably. “I’ll keep her” she grinned. Mary was her girl through and through and if there was anyone she could rely on at this point, it was her blonde. Lily wasn’t sure if he was trying to make a point, but she’d taken the hint. It’d been a miscalculation on her end. “He was horrible, I agree, but I know you get into it” she teased, closing off any residual pain. 

The space between them felt like a damn abyss, and she hated it. Now that she’d had a taste of the warmth of his body, the bubble of happiness she’d been in for only a moment, she felt the coldness sweep through her at the loss of him. At his suggestion, Lily set her food to the side - she’d only taken a few bites of it - and tucked her knees under her. Her hands held the bottom of her sleeves as she nodded, “Yeah, of course”. Beyond that, Lily wasn’t entirely sure what to say. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

She was apologizing and he was hurt by that, that she thought it was only her that should even say it, that he hadn’t wanted it as much as she did. In the bathroom he pulled on the jeans, talking himself down to get rid of any lingering blood flow. He checked his newly healed ribs and let himself breathe, pulling into the sweatshirt. The ghost of her lips was still on his, running his fingertips over them didn’t seem to change that. Of everything that had just happened it was that kiss, the first one, cautious and unsure, that would stick with him.

When he came back out she was still there and he relaxed slightly with that fact. She’d gotten plates and put out food and he realized in that moment how hungry he was as his stomach growled audibly. Part of him wanted to make a joke, that he was hungry for her but it died on his tongue, that wasn’t just a fantasy now they’d—gone there. 

“Where did this come from? New Thai place or somewhere else?” He loved what she brought, except for two or three times she’d gotten some weird stuff. He was adventurous with food, among other things, but some stuff was too much even for him. “I downloaded hulu today, I’m sure we can find a movie and I refuse to watch the bachelor again.” he smiled at her, his usual guarded and yet happy grin. He knew they couldn’t just ignore what had happened and it would need to be addressed but he hoped she was okay, it didn’t look like she’d cried at least.

There was still a linger of vibrations running through her, but she did her best to calm herself. Busing herself did wonders for forcing her body to relax. It was easy to focus on the task at hand, and not at the way her lips still tasted like his, nor the thoughts that were raging through her mind. He’d kissed her back, but as much as Lily wanted it to be mutual, there was a part of her that feared that he was being ruled by lust. She couldn’t be sure, and though she tended to be more impulsive, she wasn’t sure she could initiate something so risky again.

Usually when she came over, she brought some form of dinner with her. Lily liked all kinds of cuisine, but she quickly realized which ones Bas preferred and tended to stick with those ones. Once in a while she brought over food that Mary made - it was a treat for both of them. She was thankful that her roommate was a wonderful cook. 

Turning slightly she smiled softly, “New Thai place; Mac said it was really good and worth checking out” she hummed. Grabbing two forks and the plates she moved closer so that she could hand him one. Lily had composed herself during their slight intermission, but she still wasn’t entirely relaxed. There were things that should be said, but part of her was afraid to deal with them. Laughing slightly, she shook her head, “You can deny it all you want, but I know you like it” Lily shot back, making her way over to the couch. “I’m not too picky, as long as it isn’t a Western film I’m content” the red head answered. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

When she spoke he let go of all control, she had given him permission and he would run with it. When she gasped, when she moaned, he felt it in his bones and it drove him wild, getting that reaction was satisfying. He laughed softly at her confessions, going slowly with his hands, with her body. 

When she began to place her hands on him he shivered despite the warmth. Newly healed ribs probably weren’t best to play with but he didn’t care as she brought her hips down on him. It was his turn to gasp slightly. When she touched his face things changed, ever so slightly. The scene went from erotic to romantic and he did his best to shove those thoughts away. Forehead to forehead, nose to nose, it was too much. His heart was beating wildly in his chest now where before he’d been so calm. 

These feelings were different, it wasn’t just his mind flooded with sexual images but of happiness, of soft kisses, of holding hands. He had to pull away, his hand dropping from her beast, his erection falling slowly. Despite her words and her challenge for him not to stop he had to, he couldn’t do this to her. They were friends  and while he couldn’t admit it he had been having trouble denying it. To think he could just have sex with her and ignore his feelings had been foolish but he hadn’t expected this to happen, or for her to want him as much as she clearly did. When she kissed him he kissed her back with ferocity and need, moving his hands to her face. The urgency in her kisses was incredible but he soon pulled back, gasping for air.

“Lily—” he felt terrible, sick almost as he pushed her gently away, easing her off his lap as he stood. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—I shouldn’t have done that. We can’t—we shouldn’t be involved like that.” He hated having to stop but he knew it couldn’t go further. “I’m going to um—go put some clothes on but please stay, you brought food and everything so, we’ll find a movie and just—yeah.” he turned and headed toward the closet by the wall, grabbing jeans and a sweatshirt before disappearing into the bathroom to give her some air. He hoped beyond measure she’d still be there when he came back out.

Her touch was gentle in the areas that he’d been injured. Despite the change of pace, it wasn’t forgotten that he was still healing - still injured. Still, she focused on the sensation of it all. The energy that was flooding her veins, making her nerves vibrate intensely. Though she’d been in a long term relationship previously, Lily had never felt anything like this before. Rationally, she knew that things were moving too fast, but she allowed herself to give into the feelings she’d had harbored for so long. 

If she were honest, Lily didn’t just want sex. Her heart called to him, but to put that on the line was risky and it made her vulnerable. Reaching out with her body was easier than reaching out with her heart. They were friends though, and the last thing she wanted was to ruin that. Having her lips on his shut down everything doubt she had. It was electrifying and more than she ever could have expected it to be. However, all too soon it was ending, and it took her mere seconds to come down from the lust high to realize that he was pulling away. She moved off his lap easily, a cold feeling spreading through her as she did. 

His words were like a dosing of cold water being dumped over her; they made her heart stutter. Lily pushed down whatever emotions she was feeling and focused on the apology that she desperately owed him, “No, no don’t be sorry that was - that was my fault I knew better - I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to - I’m sorry” she finished lamely. Lily had forgotten about the food until he brought it up, and she nodded, giving him an almost reassuring smile, “Yeah, right of course,” she agreed. 

Once he left the room she ran her fingers through her hair, calming herself. As hard as she tried, she could feel the sting rising in her chest. She’d been stupid; reckless to think he’d want her beyond friendship. Maybe for sex, but even still he was right, they shouldn’t be involved like that. It’d be messy and as much as she wanted to believe she could be impartial, she knew in her hearts she couldn’t be. Part of her wanted to flee, to lick her wounds, but the other part of her knew she’d feel worse if she did. Lily would much rather have his friendship than nothing at all. Heading into his kitchen, she hopped up on the counter to get down a couple of plates for them. She divided up the food as she waited for him to come back out. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

“I’d hope not.” he responded in the same tone she’d used and his urge to pull her against him, eliminating any space between their bodies, grew stronger as his erection grew harder.  She knew exactly what she was doing, Lily was no fool, and the thought that she wanted him, that she was happy to take advantage of him, was intoxicating. 

She didn’t seem to react to his growing lack of control, which only made him want to push her further. Bas was not usually this playful but something about this interaction with her was going off script and he loved it. “Would you like to find out?” he knew what she might have been implying and it only served to get him completely rock hard, which, if she didn’t get off of him, would become uncomfortable for her unless she moved. How she moved however was almost entirely up to her. The kisses were soft, it tickled but more than that it wiped out any self control he had been barely holding on to. She didn’t move to get up and he took that as a sign that she didn’t want to get up, perhaps quite the contrary. He pressed his still tingling hands to her back, pulling her firmly against him, his lips at her ear. “Tell me Lily, are my hands working alright?” 

He couldn’t stop himself as he felt her against him, as her hair fell around his face. If she wanted to stop he’d have to excuse himself at the very least but he was sure she wanted this as much as he did. He let one hand drift toward her hair, wrapping it around his fingers, maybe she liked it rough, the way he did. The other hand wound its way under her shirt, cold hand against warm skin, he needed her to gasp. That hand wandered along her pristine ribcage, no breaks or bruises there, still climbing as his thumb found purchase against her nipple. He would work for the moans he knew she wouldn’t be able to bite back. “Should I stop?” he whispered, moss green eyes focused on her face.

What was between them had been building up since they’d come into contact - since the night she brought him to her flat when he was vulnerable. Each visit allowed her see more of him, to understand him better, and to love him more. The look in his eyes resembled hers - the hunger, the want, the need, it was overwhelming. It was then she realized, there was no going back; not that she wanted to. “It’d be a shame to miss out on such a nice view” she mused.

Something between a smirk and a grin crossed her lips as she answered him, “Hm, I believe I do. Only if you want to show me of course” Lily answered; mischievous dancing behind her eyes. As his arousal continued to press against her, Lily’s control slipped. Before she could make the decision to move, his hands wrapped around her back firmly and she was pressed up against him. A gasp fell from her lips as she revealed in the feeling of him being so close. Instinctively, her hips ground down just enough to create a more solid friction between them. His breath against her ear made her shiver as she answered, “I think -” her words caught in her throat as his cold hand slipped under her shirt, emitted another gasp - that could almost pass as a moan - escape her lips. “They seem to be working just fine” she breathed. 

 Never one to be idle, one of her hands moved to rest on his newly healed ribcage, moving slowly as she eventually dug the pads of her fingertips into his back. The other one came up to cup his face; her hand thumb rubbing his cheek while her fingers laid against his neck. As if it was what he was waiting for, as soon as his thumb brushed over her nipple, a low moan came from her lips. In response her hips moved against his in some fashion of a rhythm. Her thighs gripped tighter around his torso as she pulled his face to meet hers - forehead to forehead, nose to nose. “Don’t you dare” she answered, a hint of a challenge behind her eyes. Without over thinking it, she moved her face so that her lips could meet his. It was an experimental brush to start, but within seconds her lips were pressing hard against his. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

He wanted to blush but somehow held his composure as she adjusted her position. The redhead ended up sitting on top of him, his arms around her neck as he still couldn’t use his hands. She was so close he could smell her shampoo, red curls brushing his neck and chest as she bent to tend to his ribs. Just the light touch of her fingers had him edging away, a sly grin on his lips.  “Oh yeah?” he said, lowering his voice ever so slightly, mostly as a joke. No matter how many household appliances he thought of he couldn’t stop his body reacting. 

With her so close and his suppressed desire bubbling to the surface he felt himself reacting and decided he just didn’t care. Maybe he could feign a blow to the head, blaming his current behavior on a concussion wouldn’t be too far fetched. He felt the salve absorb into his skin, still cold and tingly and he let the rags fall to the floor behind her. “Oops.” He grinned like a fox as she looked up to his eyes. “Could be better, but I can’t really complain at the moment.” And he couldn’t, as his body continued to react to not only his attraction to her in general, an attraction he ignored usually, but the way she was so close, hair against his skin, hands on him, could she really blame him for what was going on between his legs?

It was an even more intimate position than the prior one and if Lily was being totally truthful, her actions were somewhat deliberate. The desire she felt for him had been pushed down, and she’d fought with herself upon acting on it, solely because she didn’t want to risk losing whatever it was they already had. However, this gave her the opportunity to test the boundaries and to figure out if she was reading into the situation or if it was mutual. Her eyes met his again as she answered cheekily, “I told you Bas, I’m not blind”. 

Her control was tested as she felt him growing hard against her. She should have expected this, truly, but Lily stopped herself from taking further action. The red head bit back the moan, kept her hips perfectly still, and forced herself to focus on healing him. Rabastan was lighter than she usually saw him, and her attraction only grew as he grinned at her like a fox. “I do hope your hands are actually healed. I’d hate for them to be out of commission” she teased, a playful glint. His natural scent was intoxicating, and she didn’t want to move from the spot on his lap. Once his ribs were back together, she ceased the spell, and leaned down so that she could give each side of his torso a chaste kiss - to make it better of course, before looking up at him, “There, hopefully that makes things a little bit better” she hummed, not moving from his lap. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

He loved seeing her squirm but what he hadn’t expected was how his chest felt as she knelt between his knees. Seeing her from that position, a rather intimate one, while he was so undressed was not—conducive to a healing environment. If he became even remotely aroused she’d see it and he’d never hear the end of the teasing. His mind raced a million miles toward all sorts of other inappropriate images and he quickly doused those raging flames with images of grass and pot holders and other stupid things in his apartment, avoiding looking down at her between his legs. That killed any sort of blood rush real fast as she wrapped his hands in salve. The cooling sensation was almost burning but he took a slight amount of pleasure in it anyhow. Sometimes the healing was as good as the beating. 

“Is that so? You’re welcome then, for that and—well this.” He meant the healing, or did he? Rabastan took pride in his body and he could tell she was enjoying the view, he couldn’t argue with the one he had either. As she brought the potion to his lips he dipped to drink it and wondered what else she could do to him with his hands out of commission. He grimaced at the potion but took it down. “Yeah just be careful, admittedly I’m a bit ticklish.”

There was a playfulness to their conversations at times that she always looked forward to. He had a tendency to make her squirm, and she’d be happy to return the favor. Being on her knees wasn’t something she was used to; it felt like an act of submission, and there were few people she’d ever consider giving that kind of power to. Her fingers were nimble as she patched him up, and it wasn’t lost on her the amount of willpower it likely took for him not to react to her being positioned how she was. Still, it was the best vantage for her to tend to him properly. Despite trying to ease his pain during the healing process, she knew that there were aspects of it that would still hurt. Lily suspected that he didn’t mind it, but knew better than to comment on it. 

An ungraceful snort came from her lips as she rolled her eyes, “Hm, it is a nice view at the very least” she hummed. After getting him to finish the potion, she moved up from her knees so that she was able to reach his ribs properly. “Lift your arms up so I can get to your ribs properly” she directed, guiding them so that they rested on her shoulders. From her position she was vaguely straddling his thighs, her hands rested on his side gently. For the first time since she’d moved, Lily looked up to meet his eye, “I’ll do my best not to tickle you,” she promised, “Too much at least” she added, a cheeky smile on her lips. Her face went back into concentration mode as she started the spell to heal him. Green eyes looked up to check on him, full of concern, “Okay?”

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

Something flashed in her eyes but it was gone before he had a chance to dissect it, she did that a lot actually and it was half infuriating half intriguing. But then there was nothing but a look he knew well, the one that said his excuse had not worked at all and he had to grunt out a laugh, a smirk on his lips. Sometimes he liked messing with her but he knew she hated this, what he did and still she respected it and him. Lily Evans, enigma.

When she said she wasn’t blind though he took a second to look down, he figured he looked rather—attractive despite the bruises, he worked hard on his body after all and maybe that was the flicker he saw before. He just figured she’d seen it enough not to be thrown at all. It gave him an odd sense of satisfaction that it might still trip her up. He walked out of the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed, nearest thing to him to sit on, still amused by her. “One, or two, broken ribs and my hand.” he lifted the red, purple mess of his fist. “What open cuts, am I bleeding?” he looked down, wondering what was still bleeding. 

Despite how much she hated seeing him hurt, there was apart of her that liked being able to patch him up. These soft moments between them allowed her to take care of him in some way, even if it was only small. Given what he’d told her, it sounded like he didn’t that enough, and Lily was happy to provide. Her green eyes rolled at his smirk - only Rabastan could look like hell and still be undeniably attractive. 

Following him towards the bed, she made sure she had the proper healing supplies with her. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked him over critically, “No I suppose you’re not. There was blood on the floor I -” Lily’s words caught in her throat before she continued, “You healed it?” she asked, not in disbelief but out of the need for reassurance. Once he was on the bed, Lily knelt down between his knees so that she could attend to them properly. It was an entirely intimate position, but she didn’t feel uncomfortable or out of place there. “C’mere,” she mumbled, taking the rag that she’d drenched in a salve. She took his hands gently, and wrapped them both with separate rags carefully. “You know, my healing skills have gotten better because of you” she offered, giving him a hint of a smile. She’d never been bad at it, but now it came out with ease. Lily took a pain potion and lifted it to his lips as his hands were still wrapped, “Drink this and then I’ll mend your ribs” she hummed. 

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

The water stil ldripped from his hair as he pulled on a pair of clean boxer shorts, the room foggy with heat as he rubbed a clean circle into the mirror. e figured he’d get fully cleaned up to see the extent of his new wounds and brushed his tooth to clean the blood from his mouth. He’d just put the toothbrush down when the door creaked and he turned to see a concerned looking Lily there. He wasn’t exactly surprised to see her but he hadn’t heard her come in so his smile was delayed.

She’d been coming by quite a lot, not that he was complaining, her company was oddly welcome and over the last few weeks he found himself desiring her company more and more. When she wasn’t there he felt emptier, colder and that feeling went away as soon as she popped in. She always seemed to have some kind of takeout, or groceries, maybe to apologize for coming by without notfying him but he would have her without that anyway. The way that sounded in his head had him blushing, even though he was the one mostly naked. Still, he didn’t feel self conscious enough to cover up, she’d seen most of him more than once due to his fighting.

His torso was mostly a bluish purple right now, left ribs completely bruised, upper chest, shoulders, a large one blooming on his hip that disappeared into green underwear. His face was a bit better, he tended to protect it but he still had a split lip and a black eye. his shins too were blossoming bruises where he had kicked the others, hard. And his hands were a total mess, cut up and bruised to hell. She shouldn’t have to keep seeing this. “Not much to patch up.” he lied, knowing he had at least one broken rib and maybe even a broken hand.

Part of her wanted to take a moment to admire his body and how beautifully it was crafted. The other part of her wanted to shout at him for being so reckless, so careless with himself. However, Lily had come to understand it in her own way, and while she didn’t like it, she stopped trying to fight him on it. Instead, Lily was there to patch him up, to make sure that he was mostly healed, even if she knew better than to heal him completely. 

An unimpressed look passed through her face, “I’m not blind, Bas. Sit, please” she answered. Without waiting for a reply, she started summoning some of her healing supplies. Sometimes, she wanted to shake him - explain to him that he was brilliant and a good person and that he didn’t deserve this no matter what his father made him believe - she didn’t. Lily knew this was his way of coping, of dealing with things that she hadn’t experienced. Despite the darkness that sometimes lingered around him, Lily found herself wanting to be around him even more. Truthfully, she knew why she wanted to be here so often, and why she frequented his home as much as she did. It was the same reason she was adamant about taking care of him. “At least let me fix the broken bones and open wounds” she compromised. 

[brighteyed-evans]

@trvnsfiguration

Since her break up, Lily had been spending more and more time at Rabastan’s. Originally it started with a weekly visit to exchange information, and then two with the excuse that there was always something else to be shared, but in the last few weeks, Lily had found herself going over every couple days. By this point, her excuses were thinly veiled, but he didn’t kick her out, nor did he call her out on them, so she continued with the cycle. 

With a bag of take out in one hand, Lily popped over to his flat. She was ready to call out to him, when her eyes caught the crimson puddle on the flood. However, there was no sign of Rabastan, which caused her heart to hammer in her chest. The take out dropped from her hands as she quickly moved through the flat. She stayed quiet incase there was a threat. There wasn’t a sign of a struggle, which was both relieving and concerning. Following the blood trail, Lily came to the bathroom that was cracked open. 

“Bas?” she called out, concern flooding her voice. Pushing open the door, she heaved a sigh of relief at seeing him upright. “Merlin, don’t ever fucking do that to me again” she chastised, still trying to catch her breath. However, the sight of him in nothing but boxer and wet hair damn near knocked the air out of her lungs. Her eyes caught on to the wounds though, and she looked up to his face to gage where he was at. “Can I patch you up?” she asked.  

[brighteyed-evans]

The Darkest of Journey’s || Lily & Bas

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

He didn’t know what it was, the amount of love in the room, the warmth of their home or something else entirely but he didn’t even try to stop himself from what he did next, shutting off his brain for five minutes and letting his heart take over. He gently pulled Lily into his arms, there on her floor and pressed his lips to hers. He could have lost them tonight, they almost did lose Mary and he couldn’t fathom the idea at all. If that had been it, they’d both have been lost and nothing would have ever been okay again. So he didn’t want to waste anymore time and he knew with Mary there and okay it was the perfect moment, if any moment could be perfect for such a thing. When he pulled away and looked into those astonishingly green eyes he knew it was right and it would be alright. “I love you.” He said softly, searching her face for signs of stress or discomfoort as he usually did but now for something more. He’d let her finish the potion but he couldn’t— he couldn’t let her walk away from him ever again without knowing that he loved her, mind, body and soul.

Without second thought, Lily let him guide her into his lap. It felt nice to be close to him, and though she knew there would be all the time in the world for it, she was happy to have the safety and security of his arms around her. For the first time since they’d started the blasted mission, Lily was able to breathe, even just for a moment. Her lips met his instinctively, and she allowed the warmth to consume her. It was reaffirming and comforting and everything she needed it to be. As they pulled away, she rested her forehead against his, their eyes meeting naturally. For half a second, she wondered if she’d misheard him, but as they echoed in her head, an overwhelming amount of emotion consumed her. Lily must have been frozen for a moment too long because the familiar voice behind her pulled her back, “Oi, say it back before I say it for you, ya idiot”. Happiness bubbled out of her in the form of light laughter, “I love you. Merlin, I love you so much” she responded, her hands cupping his face as she kissed him again. When she pulled back, she rested her head against his shoulder. Her eyes met Macs for a moment, “I love you too. Don’t ever scare me like that again” she whispered. 

[brighteyed-evans]

The Darkest of Journey’s || Lily & Bas

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

Lily’s hands in his hair, Mac safe and healing, this felt—this felt warm, it felt safe and he’d never had that before, never. In this small flat was the girl who had become his best friend, ready to rest and recover, telling him he’d done a good job, he’d done the right thing. And the girl he —the girl he was in love with, supporting him, letting him cry without judgement. There was no point in hiding his emotions here, these two were —they were the very best of humanity and they wanted him, his presence, his friendship, his love. How could he not break? How could he not love them? How could he not offer his life for theirs? 

Rabastan let himself feel it all, for once. He let the tears slide down ash ridden cheeks, smiling as genuinely as possible at Mary but hoping Lily gave her the draught soon. They all needed rest and while he wouldn’t really sleep tonight, to keep an eye on her breathing, he could rest well knwoing his girls were safe, at least for one night. The following days would be healing, showering, reporting to the Order but he wouldn’t be taking any more missions until Mary was at one hundred percent again. He looked up at Lily then, she looked awful but she was still stunning, her compassion and her heart on her face, making her beautiful. He loved her, oh Merlin he loved her and someday soon he’d be able to tell her.

Everything she’d ever wanted was right here. She once thought that the marauders, the lion ladies had been the people that would accept her most. At one point she trusted them above all else. Yet, having Mary and Bas here, in the small little flat that was becoming a home for all three of them, Lily had never felt more at peace. Her eyes met Mary’s and there was a silent message in them, one that almost knocked the air out of her lungs. ‘This is home. The three of us here; this is everything’, and the light that shone back in her green eyes held an overwhelming amount of love and gratefulness. She knew that Mary had grown to love Rabastan in her own way, but seeing the peace in her eyes at having them both here, Lily didn’t think she could be any happier. 

Rabastan never ceased to surprise her; amaze her, and yet he did it again. Lily had wanted nothing more than for him to feel safe with her, with them, and here he was sitting on their living room floor, vulnerable and raw. She’d never been so overwhelmingly in love. Leaning down, she pressed her lips against his forehead gently, but firmly. They hadn’t said those words - not yet, but Lily could feel them on the tip of her tongue. It made her body ache how much love she held for him. Pulling him back, she gave him a reassuring smile, before turning back to the potion. The adrenaline hadn’t worn off yet, and she knew it wouldn’t for plenty of hours more. Lily felt the weight of the object in her pocket; she hadn’t forgotten that it was there, but it was the least of her concerns. Right now she needed to focus on them. On knowing that they were going to be okay. “The potion needs to set for about fifteen minutes,” she hummed. 

[brighteyed-evans]

The Darkest of Journey’s || Lily & Bas

[brighteyed-evans]

trvnsfiguration:

As she winced he rubbed her hand again, knowing it wouldn’t really help but doing his best to stay out of the way and still feel helpful. This was all his fault, maybe not the collapse but leaving her, that was on him. She had told him to go and when he was thinking straight again he’d understand he’d done what he was supposed to and she was fine so it didn’t matter in the end. But hse had to be fine first. The fact she was still joking made him feel better, a little. Lily too seemed relaxed and all of that was comforting for him, no one was panicked or giving false hope either. 

When she said that to him, when she thanked him he let the tears fall, swallowing the lump in his throat. He pressed soft kisses to her hand and nodded, unable to speak again. When he found a moment to gather himself he said “of course, of course..” and then he lost it, pressing a hand to his face, the other still holding hers. “I’m so sorry Mary, I’m sorry I left you.” he choked out.

Despite her wild state before hand, there was a false calmness that lingered around Lily. Autopilot had taken over, and she was working off of instinct. Mary needed witty banter, and Lily was happy to give her the world if she asked for it. Even with knowing that she was okay, that they were all safe, she knew how close she’d been to losing one of the two people she cared about most. It was a dark cloud that lingered over her; that would come raining down once everyone was taken care of. A nurture at heart, Lily needed to make sure her little family was okay first. Her hands moved on their own accord, making sure that no injury was left untreated. “Did I miss anything, Mac?” she asked cautiously. The blonde smiled and shook her head. 

Before she could say anything else, she’d turned back to the conversation with Rabastan, and Lily busied herself with cleaning up the supplies she’d brought out, as well as starting a sleeping draught. Lily could hear the break in Rabastan’s composure before it happened, and without thinking she rested her hand in his hair, dragging her fingers through it gently. Mary’s hand gripped his tightly, her eyes holding a fierce light inside of them, “Don’t you dare apologize, Bas. I told you to get her out. I never would have forgiven you if something happened to Lily. ‘Sides, wouldn’t have done much good if we all got trapped there now would it? You came back; you went with Lils instead of stopping her, it’s more than anyone else would have done” she argued, her voice full of compassion and a power that left little room for argument. A smile played on the red head’s lips; Mary always had been the strong one.