Cute, happy, sexy, and true

Icon thanks to LJ tisonlyherself. Labels that generally apply to me: Queer, polyamorous, genderfucked, kinkster, disabled, Scottish-Irish-American, nerd/geek, Whovian, wordsmith, lover, partner, friend, mama, seeker, wanderer, dreamer. They/Them pronouns.

[brigittefires]

Yesterday, I had a moment with my 9yo talking about community, responsibility, and skill-building. We discussed a direct building of skill and mentality from: () [made a little sphere with my hands] picking up your socks and underwear off the floor

(( )) [pulled hands apart a bit] to throwing a party at the park and picking up all our trash so we're not littering

((( ))) [made a sweeping big circle motion] to owning a manufacturing company and not dumping your waste product in the river to poison everyone's water. My 9yo predictably made a horrified face and responded, "Who TF would DO that?!" In that moment, my brain paused just for a split second. I was given the choice between petty, and history education. I could have talked about PFAS, about the Detroit river catching on fire, about Ballard and the cow and public drinking water.

I went petty.

"PEOPLE WHO LEAVE THEIR GORRAM SOCKS ON THE FLOOR!"

💡9yo lightbulb moment. "Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh." They reported to the bathroom and immediately picked up everything off the floor, asking about the towel that wasn't theirs only to be sure it wasn't there for A Reason.

Not my proudest parenting moment. But possibly one of the more effective ones. So on balance...

[depsidase]

[brigittefires]

Today is trans day a visibility so to my younger self: your repetition of “growing up to be a woman sounds awful. I don’t want to do that” and “why do we only get to choose between being men and women” and “for the love of the gods just don’t mistake me for a man and if woman is the alternative, then I guess that’s me” and“my gender is ‘fucked’ because I just want people to fuck me”… these were clues, babe. As were all the outfits that were “too girly, let’s butch it up a bit” or “too masc, let’s add some flair.” — you know, the dresses with combat boots, or the jeans & button up with heels & bows.

Nonbinary isn’t the word, but it’s the best we’ve got right now. One day, hopefully while I’m still alive, the words will exist. But for now “queer” is enough and “genderfucked“ is still the best option. And your partners will love you for you regardless.

[brigittefires]

Seriously considering closing my business. My health keeps getting in the way of running it, and I am neglecting myself.

But I love the work. It’s hard to give it up.

[brigittefires]

The American medical system is trash. This isn’t news, but I’ve had a painful reminder of that recently.

It’s almost worse when all the people I’m interacting with are genuinely good people, good at their jobs, wanting earnestly to care for their patients. It highlights the system failures.

[tiny-steps-forward]

the point was thoroughly lost the second the debate over calling trans people terms like bro and queen and dude became "is it gender neutral" and not "dont call people things they dont want to be called". like, frankly I dont give a shit if theyre gender neutral, what matters is that one of the core tennents of respecting trans people is simply not calling people things they dont want to be called. its not that hard.

[brigittefires]

What do you do when you need nearly-instant energy that only lasts 2-3 hours?

It’s too late for me but maybe next time…

Coffee keeps me up if I drink it less than 8-10 hours before bed. I can’t stand the flavor of energy drinks and I’m afraid of what they’ll do to my heart.

[phoebejanedraws]

Cute fat mermaids forever 💕🧜‍♀️

[friday-tea]

🍵✊️

[moonlightsapphic]

[brigittefires]

People absolutely have these conversations in real life.

It’s every time a lesbian has rejected a bisexual woman. It’s every time a nonbinary person has been invited to “girls night.” And so on.

You may not desire a wider community, and that’s fine, but some of us actually do.

[moonlightsapphic]

People who have exclusionary takes online obviously also have them (often less loudly) offline, but they are also the people my girlfriend and I have no interest in hanging out with :)

We hang out with inclusive queer folks who care about the community being happy and safe in the long term more than they care about label policing for the sake of respectibility politics towards the patriarchy. We get involved in queer mutual aid organisations where nobody gives a damn what their neighbour identifies as, only that they are kind and considerate to others. We have meaningful discussions about diverse queer experiences, intracommunity tensions and negotiations, intersectional history and politics and how to forward the movement—but based in curiousity and empathy towards all groups.

We still have a wider queer community! Just not including people who have no desire to unpack their own bigotries and implicit biases, and would rather attack an adjacent marginalised group for short term satisfaction than holistically fight for everyone’s long-term rights. Which isn’t to say we shouldn’t engage with exclusionists at all to try to open their minds—We have every right to. The point of the original post is to not crowdsource how to live your own life based on anecdotes from keyboard warrior slacktivists on the internet who have an underdeveloped understanding of boundaries—or even conservative exclusionists, radfems and separatists in your real life. Queerness is not a religion or ideology that you must follow “correctly” to be valid or included. There is no one way to be queer. Find the people who don’t think your worth is based on how much you politicise your personal life and identity, which is yours alone.

[brigittefires]

We can debate whether the internet is real life, or whether it’s ableism to call people slacktivists for primarily (or seeming to primarily) engage in online activism. And whether you or the OP want to participate in the community at large on or offline is your own preference, which is why I said as much to begin with.

But I hope we can both agree that the original post actually says the words “no one in real life is having these conversations” and that the statement is patently untrue. And I think denying people’s lived experience due to a lack of engagement with a larger community than one’s own circle of besties is bad form at a bare minimum.

[brigittefires]

Look I’m not saying it’s NOT in his kiss, but it’s ALSO in his delivery of freshly baked brownies a la mode.

[brigittefires]

Once again torn between “analog data collection [paper] is safer in this political climate” and “paper data collection is actively harmful with my disabilities.”

[sandersstudies]

I think a fun way to have he/she pronouns would be by helping other avoid the ambiguous antecedent problem and taking on the pronouns that are less represented in the current group.

[sandersstudies]

Neopronouns? More like Nemopronouns am I right

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[girlardent-deactivated20240418]

A lotta transfeminine resources tend to neglect that estrogen will give you the more stigmatised parts of having a female body as well as the cool stuff. Like. I have cellulite on my thighs. Stretch marks everywhere. Its so cool and pretty and neglecting to mention this to transgender women simply shows how stigmatised they are.

Its also worth noting that your body will be imperfect the way all women's bodies are. You'll never fit the patriarchal ideal. It took me YEARS to love my breasts in all their wonkiness and stretchmark-ness, and then I once mentioned to a cis friend I used to feel self-conscious about them and she said "All women do at some point"

Like my point is we are women, and we have the same expectations of unachievable perfection placed upon us. But learning to love your body and your womanhood with its imperfections, its cellulite its stretch marks etc. Is very good.

[brigittefires]

A trans woman was going shopping for clothes in store for the first time since deciding to transition. Posted in a group that, conspicuously, was not specifically a queer group, venting about how different brands had different fits, how a size whatever fit fine in some things and not others. She was asking for tips, thinking these were things she was “doing” wrong or missing key information that women get during puberty about how to shop for clothes.

The comments were overwhelmingly supportive as women explained that this is a universal women’s experience, welcoming her and apologizing at the same time.

A few of us did point out that what seems to be a bug is also a feature. Bodies are shaped differently, so if This brand has a bust-to-waist-to-hip ratio for their clothes that doesn’t match mine, I know to just… not buy them. Each brand has a demographic they’re trying to sell for, and it’s okay if that’s not you. I just wish there was a way of communicating it.

[moonlightsapphic]

[brigittefires]

People absolutely have these conversations in real life.

It’s every time a lesbian has rejected a bisexual woman. It’s every time a nonbinary person has been invited to “girls night.” And so on.

You may not desire a wider community, and that’s fine, but some of us actually do.

[loverboy-havocboy]

you need to reblog art. you need to reblog fic. you need to reblog gif sets. you need to reblog headcanons and meta and theories. if you want fandom to survive, you have to do these things. start looking at the notes on the fandom posts that cross your dash and i guarantee you'll notice a massive disparity between likes and reblogs. you are consuming. you need to participate.

[anstarwar]

This 100%

I don’t understand why people don’t reblog things on tumblr anymore

That is how you participate in fandom on this godforesaken website/app. By reblogging, not likes, REBLOGGING

What happened? Why has this changed that people don’t reblog stuff??? Genuinely want to know because people are very much using repost/share features on sites like IG and Bsky, but they are doing that less and less here where the site was literally built to function via reposts which we just call reblogs on tumblr.

Like I get that no one owes anyone “engagement” or whatever it’s called these days - but this ain’t about that. It’s about sharing our love for a thing PUBLICLY (dare I say socially) and hoping it’ll find new people to also love it PUBLICLY. (Don’t get me started on my old man yells at cloud speech about fandom being privatized/gate-kept and hidden in discord servers)

Like what happened to unabashedly sharing interests? Putting stuff up on the tumblr fridge (via reblogs) that are basically saying “omg guys look at this amazing thing, I saw it and I wanted everyone else to see it so I’m putting it up on my tumblr fridge for you to see because it’s amazing and I thought you’d like to see it too and hey maybe you can take a copy (reblog from me) and put it on your fridge cuz maybe someone you know that I don’t know will want to see it too”

[contact-guy]

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

[skipppppy]

Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement

[ospreyonthemoon]

Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.

[deathsmallcaps]

Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later

[answeringmysister]

Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.

[brightlotusmoon]

I should start watching Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries