bring the blog back

[bringtheblogback]

Aight lets have a nice talk. Lately I’ve come to a very deep realization about my level of introvertness. First symptom. I am no longer active in any social activity with people i meet (or just met) in real life. I am very passive like if you ask me something I’d rather give you “dead end” answer so you don’t bother asking me more. I also don’t like being in a crowded room full of strangers. Well i mean i don’t really care about them but i do give a s*it about their reaction on my existence there. “Are they laughing at me?” “Wait, did that girl over there smile at me?” And it gets even worst whenever i am in my happy moment. I always think that everything could go wrong. I am not fully happy. I am aware. I love locking my self up in my room for hours. I love doing things all by my self. I am very picky on choosing who I’d like to befriend. It takes me a year or so to save people’s number on my phone. But i let my creativity taking control of this situation. I am now more productive. I just finished reading one novel yeay! Hope this turns out well.

[bringtheblogback]

H i !!!

Okay.so a lot of things had happened during my hiatus. For those who read my blog might notice that it has been like a month or so i haven’t posted anything. At all. I honestly think i owe you a lot. So here’s a little glimpse of it. First. I just turned 27 this week. Tho it may be a little late to wish me a birthday, presents are still welcome. Second. I am typing this blog while i am on my way to Hong Kong (God is good!) The weather is nice, specially when you sit next to the window (from my histories of flight the possibility of me getting a seat near the window is kinda rare) I’m still on introduction part of Sophie’s World ( the topic of this book is very heavy ) I still got like 2 hours before arriving so i may finish a few more pages. I promise you as soon as i finish reading this book i’ll post a review about it. Btw i feel sad of leaving my mom alone because she is not feeling so well when i leave her. And now i miss her already. See you mom. And you too (probably my friends who were asked by me to read this hahaha)

[bringtheblogback]

Back again. Lord please forgive me for i am being a liar to my self, this was supposed to be a daily blog but hey bare with me. I do have some issues and you may know (if you read my previous post) that i have been dealing with some mental breakdown. That is one major reason of me being petty to my self and not posting daily. So yeah i want to sum up about things that been going on. I've done watching the entire season of project runway 15 (congratulation erin!!) And it was the best season i've ever watched. The creativity in each episode really inspired me. Also i think i have some funny method on how to be productive again. I hope it's working so i can share with you. And by the way i just made my head banner for this blog, go check it out!!! Buenas noches

[bringtheblogback]

I'm sorry (just a quick update) I don't know if there is actually someone out there will probably check on my blog, but let me do hope so. You must be notice that i haven't posted anything for two days. I've been betrayed by my self. My thoughts been consuming me lately. I'm not trying to be drama queen or whatever, but yeah I'm so tired. The fact that yesterday was my father's birthday is one of the reason of me being inactive (irl and online). But still i am filling my head with inspirations. I just want to turn all this bad things that hold me into something useful. I am actually working on a self project (it is kinda digital painting but a simple one tho). But I'm still not ready to show it to you guys. Oh and also, lately I've been binge watching Project Runaway SE15 which also reminds me of my previous work as a designer in a clothing line company. Still have that little obsession of having my own clothing line. And I'm also thinking about taking sewing course. I mean who knows. Until next post happy people!!!

[bringtheblogback]

Here ya go. This summer i’d like to thank Tove Styrke and Sigrid. May God of music bless your soul. Amen

[bringtheblogback]

Fear

I hate to love August. I feel so content to the memory of what happened 9 years ago when we celebrated my father’s birthday. It is a joyfull sadness memory

It was the last time we celebrated his birthday. As a family, we werent really open about our feelings so we didnt really romanticize our birthdays. And that year everything was different. My sister got the job to backup our family financially so we decided to be a little fancy about his birthday.

I still remember it frame by frame how my dad tried his best not to cry when we gave the surprise. He was a happy man. And that memory stays with me all the time , specially near his birthday.

I know that it is a happy memory but knowing that it is something you cant redo makes me sad.

I think it is because i have this severe anxiety. I dont know what it’s called but this fear of losing someone or something terrifies me.

The missing piece is never found. The fact that my father is not here anymore giving deeper impact to my life. It has been 8 years but it still haunts me. Part of me is not ready to face the reality. I still hope he is still here but yet i have to grow up.

Again, i’m not giving advice. This is actually a cry for help. The best i can do to get rid all of this fear is to face it.

Most of people tell me that it will pass. But it never will. Not permanently. so my only option is to let it come and go.

But this fear teaches me one thing: That life is a two sided coin. When things go bad remember that it hides the goodness that may come. and it also works the opposite. So you better be thankful and aware.

Cherish the moment for it will be a history of your life. It is either a blessing or a lesson.

CR

[bringtheblogback]

PRODUCTIVITY

This isn’t going to be a typical travelling post (no i am not into that kinda stuff)

Last week i went to Shanghai. It was summer and the weather was 40°c!! I actually enjoyed the trip but i couldnt stand the heat. So whenever i got into the hotel room i made it as my chill momento.

And that was when my creativity started to kick in. I dont know about how normal people mantain their productivity since i feel like doing it wrong. I procrastinate alot (that’s one of my flaws) so sometimes the idea is just an idea with no further action or even end up as failure.

I am clearly the wrong person to give the words of motivation. I am still learning about the whole process of being productive and creative. One of my realisation of how to keep me focus is to just do it. Like i said on my previos post, i was into perfection like everything needs to be done in order or according to the plan. But i am not perfect. We are not. We have our weaknesses. And for me to know your own weakness is good.

And voila that is the reason why this blog is brought back to you again. I dont care if no one would even read this, but my satisfaction is clear, to get sh*t done.

See you on my next post, dear invisible yet beautiful reader!

[bringtheblogback]

Finaley hier

Accordingly. I had no plan whatsoever to bring this blog back again. But then again something struck my mind. these days i finally understand the importance of sharing and not giving a sh*t about what others think or how they are gonna react.

The reason why this blog remained silent for years was because i was so much into perfection. I was busy waiting for the right story at the right moment which resulted to me not posting anything. My last posts were trash i deleted all of them so that this post could be a prologue.

So lemme introduce my self.

The name is Chris Rob and i am a graphic designer based in Jakarta, Indonesia. I’m a 90s generation trapped in between manual and digital media -please bare my dorkiness.

My interest is something that related to arts in general like music, book or movie (mostly animation) also sketching and stationary. I am an introvert and like to spend my free time doing some me time rather than we time. According to pottermore i belong to Gryffindor ( maybe even share the same room with Harry ). Current book: Sophie’s World. Turn ons: people who are kind and polite. Turn offs: people with no manner. One of my goal in life is to publish my own book.

I guess that’s all,folks. I am making this post while im still at my work so it is illegal and i am proud of my self of making it this far. I promise i’ll be posting smore

Be happy always.

[bringtheblogback]

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Sketching!!!