the gloom still looms @briny-beach - Tumblr Blog

i am spending a lot of time thinking about beatrice and bertrand trying to be just normal parents living normal lives after vfd:

would win the award for worst children’s birthday parties. all the other parents are taking them swimming, these two are doing anna karenina reading parties and trips to the verne invention museum with a bunch of stroppy 7 year olds

telling children with upcoming eye exams not to trust their optometrists (the parents of these children frowning deeply in disapproval in the background)

while all the other parents are proud and a little nervous at the prospect of their children going on a school trip, bertrand spends the whole time spying on them trying to work out if they are actually being kidnapped

so boastful about their talented and precocious children. “such good news that pippa is mastering the alphabet. they each have their own talents, don’t they! violet invented an automatic rolling pin at the weekend.”

really not the best house for play dates. there is a smoke alarm in every room for mysterious reasons, the top shelves in the library are utterly off limits, and nobody is allowed sugar in their tea

“she’s so odd; she’s always asking everyone new we meet if it’s a sad occasion…”

abnormally strong opinions about whether people should get tattoos

deadpoet02-deactivated20201018

veryfalsedictations

beatricebidelaire

if your enemies don’t use coasters and add sugar to their tea maybe a coaster would be a better place to hide things than a sugar bowl

stressedsnicketstudent

Have the people who reblogged this thought bout the logistics of putting something inside a coaster for even one (1) second

lesbianscieszka

In snicketverse a man swallowed butterflies to keep them out of butterfly prison which is for butterflies and the butterflies came out just fine I’m sure ppl can figure out how to secret things away into a coaster

doglover502

Greg and Steven in "Mr Universe"

pankhearst

NEXT TIME A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS GETS REBOOTED TAIKA WAITITI SHOULD PLAY COUNT OLAF AND YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

lauriemarch

‪where were you when you got your heartbroken by lemony snicket when he revealed that the quagmire parents were actually alive, and the baudelaires were still very, very dead‬

kitsnicket

this fuckin movie

kitsnicket

Only valid response on this post

weirdlandtv

I can never emphasize enough how much I love the city in DICK TRACY (1990).

(Did it even have a name? I don’t think so. It was just “The City”. Oh, I’m talking to myself I guess.)

pleoros

angels-in-overcoats

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

beatricebidelaire

mutually beneficial ; esme squalor / sally sebald

a last minute argument arose, and esme and georgina, who had previously planned on going to the masked ball together, were now going separately. didn’t have the ability to hypnotize someone into being her date like georgina could, esme decided to strike a deal with someone she knew who was definitely not happy about the georgina’s act of hypnosis.

caramel salt ; georgina orwell / bertrand baudelaire

long letters filled with complicated words discussing different fields of topics, polite pleasantry catching flies with honey, subtle suspicious glances at each other behind the glasses. it’s not a love story, but maybe it could have been, once, had things been different.

3, 2, 1, Action! ; gustav sebald / larry your-waiter

gustav sebald got on his nerves, and larry really only put up with him for jacquelyn’s sake, knowing he was jacquelyn’s good friend. gustav sebald with his annoyingly handsome hair and his annoyingly husky voice as he talked about zombies in the snow. gustav sebald with his ridiculous black cape that was supposed to make him look like a ridiculous vampire wanna be but only somehow made him look ridiculously attractive. it’s becoming a problem.

another first kiss ; beatrice baudelaire / r, the duchess of winnipeg

the first time beatrice and r kissed, it was at a rehearsal for a play. it was r’s first kiss ever, but she knew it probably wasn’t beatrice’s. the moment ended far too soon, and before she could realize it, esme was already loudly saying the next line, and everything that happened that afternoon afterwards felt like a blur. it was just a rehearsal, a kiss that didn’t mean anything, r told herself. but why did she keep thinking back on it?

unsent ; ernest denouement / bertrand baudelaire

he wrote a letter every week, and then stashed it into the locked drawer of his desk in his office at the hotel. “thought i saw your from afar when you came to visit dewey yesterday, i like your new haircut.” “did you have the chance to do the crossword puzzle of daily punctilio last week? 13 down reminded me of an inside joke we had.” “i miss you i miss you. i’m starting to think frank’s music taste is getting worse, i didn’t know that was possible.”

beatricebidelaire

the workaholic guide ; frank denouement / bertrand baudelaire

bertrand’s plan in regards to stop frank from overworking himself was to try to work as hard as him and help him with everything, which hopefully eventually would get frank to tell him to take a rest, and then use this to negotiate and say “only if you promised too”. he thought it’s a reasonable and fail-safe plan. beatrice said he was just looking for an excuse to be a workaholic himself. kit said he was in love, which was totally absurd.

an arrangement between two ladies ; kit snicket / r, the duchess of winnipeg

it’s a nice arrangement - kit would attend the balls r’s family threw with her as a date to stop them from trying to get her to move on from beatrice by setting her up with someone r had no interested in, and in turn she could enjoy all kinds of expensive food the party provided. neither of them had planned it to turn into anything more. at first.

logical choices on summer nights ; georgina orwell / kit snicket

georgina orwell’s practical and ruthless, perhaps even more so than the city’s sixth most financial advisor in a way. she’s intelligent, focused, and did not spend time fussing over fashion yet somehow managed to dress sharply - kit liked how the suit looked on her. she’s probably also going to be the next mistake kit snicket make. well, kit thought to herself, if she’s making the same mistake as one bertrand had also made before, that should make it more forgivable.

beatricebidelaire

mutually beneficial ; esme squalor / sally sebald

a last minute argument arose, and esme and georgina, who had previously planned on going to the masked ball together, were now going separately. didn’t have the ability to hypnotize someone into being her date like georgina could, esme decided to strike a deal with someone she knew who was definitely not happy about the georgina’s act of hypnosis.

caramel salt ; georgina orwell / bertrand baudelaire

long letters filled with complicated words discussing different fields of topics, polite pleasantry catching flies with honey, subtle suspicious glances at each other behind the glasses. it’s not a love story, but maybe it could have been, once, had things been different.

3, 2, 1, Action! ; gustav sebald / larry your-waiter

gustav sebald got on his nerves, and larry really only put up with him for jacquelyn’s sake, knowing he was jacquelyn’s good friend. gustav sebald with his annoyingly handsome hair and his annoyingly husky voice as he talked about zombies in the snow. gustav sebald with his ridiculous black cape that was supposed to make him look like a ridiculous vampire wanna be but only somehow made him look ridiculously attractive. it’s becoming a problem.

another first kiss ; beatrice baudelaire / r, the duchess of winnipeg

the first time beatrice and r kissed, it was at a rehearsal for a play. it was r’s first kiss ever, but she knew it probably wasn’t beatrice’s. the moment ended far too soon, and before she could realize it, esme was already loudly saying the next line, and everything that happened that afternoon afterwards felt like a blur. it was just a rehearsal, a kiss that didn’t mean anything, r told herself. but why did she keep thinking back on it?

unsent ; ernest denouement / bertrand baudelaire

he wrote a letter every week, and then stashed it into the locked drawer of his desk in his office at the hotel. “thought i saw your from afar when you came to visit dewey yesterday, i like your new haircut.” “did you have the chance to do the crossword puzzle of daily punctilio last week? 13 down reminded me of an inside joke we had.” “i miss you i miss you. i’m starting to think frank’s music taste is getting worse, i didn’t know that was possible.”