That mountain was all broken... @brittleep - Tumblr Blog

miseducatedmelanicmuse

Such an accurate description of myself.

blumarvel-deactivated20171228

me at all times

ruinedchildhood

Why is this so fucking relatable flsjdfkjsldjfa

surrealism-love

Garden Airplane Trap, 1935, Max Ernst

Size: 64.7x54 cm Medium: oil, canvas

On the idea that everything means nothing...

I found myself once again, waking up to the sounds of my own sobbing, I never can seem to remember those dreams. Those dreams that wake me up crying my voice out, which is fine, because I have never been much good at voicing just what it is that is important enough to mutter. I have always been at a loss for the right words or the correct terms. There are no words to inhale that make the exhale any easier. I came to be by accident and every moment of this existence has proven I am not welcome in this world. Maybe I just see it all too plainly so I am lacking the bigger meaning or maybe I look for meaning in this river of nothing and it always leaves me feeling plainly, I can never tell which way the coin will fall. We have all made it all up anyway, so I keep coming back to the same old cliche that nothing really matters, and it used to soothe this racing heart, and now it leaves me angry. I do not know how much more my heart can participate in this race, it is growing old and tired, and I never learned to stretch in the correct way to prepare for such a grueling marathon. My form has always been shitty and I've always hated running. It is a funny kind of hell to be stuck doing the thing that you hate more than anything. I know that one busy day or still evening, this heart will finally go to sleep. I hold onto that security blanket to keep me warm through this perpetual winter. I screamed my voice out long ago begging for new growth and the rebirth of Spring and it never came to me. So I just keep quiet now, until I wake up shaking and crying for some pain that is only ever defined in my sleep. A circuit shorted out in the pull of the universe. I cannot push this forward.

#my dad is probably bukowski #in a hundred years this will not matter #excerpt from a book i'll never write

I have returned. The world just got too loud for a bit. It’s still too loud, but it always is and I feel on the mend. Life is always a mixed bag of good and bad and I have a lot of good things going on right now. I guess I’m as refreshed as I’ll ever be.

#tumblr hiatus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th-GUnJAVhA&feature=share

#original song #acoustic #bedroomrecordings #singer/songwriter

I'm getting closer by the day to where I want my body to be. I'm feeling pretty awesome about it today. #fitness #cleaneating #wickedclothing #girlswithglasses #dirtymirrorpictures

#cleaneating #girlswithglasses #dirtymirrorpictures #fitness #wickedclothing