BrittneyProbablyLies

[brittneyprobablylies]

BrittneyProbablyLies - Twitch

BrittneyProbablyLies - Twitch

Cat Cam! Found some stray cats living on our porch and set up a little den for them. Decided to sharing for your viewing pleasure. Hopefully we can get them inside one day but we have to earn that trust.

[brittneyprobablylies]

Brittney's Closet

Brittney is using Poshmark to sell items from their closet. Poshmark is a fun and simple way to buy and sell fashion. Shop from millions o

Check out my Poshmark closet! Right now it’s just shoes but other things will come!

[brittneyprobablylies]

My DND character got thrown up against a wall and had a knife attached her throat by another DND character…I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on while playing DND in my life. And yes my character is an innocent small submissive bean so she is now attached to said character.

[brittneyprobablylies]

I could have stopped my best friend from marrying someone but chickened out because I didn’t think he felt that way towards me and also didn’t want to reck a wedding. Now a year later he tells me that he’s always wondered what it would be like to be with me…now I can’t help but think I should have just stopped the wedding and shot my shot

[brittneyprobablylies]

The song burn from Hamilton has become my go to song when I’m upset.

[brittneyprobablylies]

We give you the tools to engage with your donors and raise more for your charity

Live for 13 hours now! Donate 50 dollars and I’ll take a shot. Donate 20 and I’ll write your name on my arm then if we reach 1000 dollars I’ll dye my hair and if we reach 2000 dollars I’ll get my among us character tattooed on me.

So far we have raised 105 dollars!!

[brittneyprobablylies]

I’m doing thankmas 2020 this year! I’m really excited to be helping out in a way I’ve always wanted to... raising money to help people while having fun playing games. I will be doing a livestream on the 13th of December starting at 12pm est and it will last until 12pm est on December 14th!

Even though the livestream doesn't start until the 13th you can still go over and donate before hand. If we Reach the milestone $1000 I will dye my hair but if I reach the milestone of $2000 I will dye my hair & get a tattoo of my Among Us Character on my body.

Also don’t forget to vote on which games you’d like to see me play!

We give you the tools to engage with your donors and raise more for your charity

What Games Do You Want To See Me Play? | StrawPoll

What's your opinion? Vote now: Among Us, Batman Arkham Asylum, Call of Duty ...

[brittneyprobablylies]

Today is my birthday...all I feel is lonely

[brittneyprobablylies]

Do I hate the fact that I fell so quickly...yes

Do I realize it’s because I bottled up my feelings for the 3 years we’ve known each other...yes

Was I happy when we confessed our feelings for each other...yes

Did I feel comfortable and safe when we hung out and kissed for the first time...yes

Did I think two days later you would change your mind...no

Do I hate myself because I’m sad and heartbroken...yes

[brittneyprobablylies]

Why do I constantly feel used...

[abnormall]

[brittneyprobablylies]

Do you ever randomly get sad?

Cause same...

[ocean-butch]

[kattewhitte]

“I swear I can watch you for hours and you’re still as beautiful as I saw you for the first time.”

— kate whiteman

[arandomthot]

Label directions are really getting straight to the point now

[scrantonpaper-deactivated201809]

I don’t know who you are, but you are not Jim.

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[agrestenoir]

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

[gin-and-eschatonic]

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

[harold-theyre-thespians]

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

[narwhalsarefalling]

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

[wren-likethe-bird]

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

[la-mancha-screwjob]

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

[fair-itself]

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

[maplefiasco]

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

[iamthatbeast]

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

[widonotts]

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

[artwlw]

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

[youlovelucie]

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

[spacecores]

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

[thebritishteapot]

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

[pazeley]

I have the bags