[oneheadtoanother]

[coughloop]

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

[coughloop]

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of... maybe everything actually

[inlandwest]

[sandmandaddy69]

[circusheart]

No death cab for ugly? Ugly has to walk?

[captain-price-returns]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

 Z from the 1998 animated film Antz.

[harbinger-of-silly]

All gays will go to hellsite

[king-of-oreo]

What if in hellsite but not gay

[punky-beaver-offical]

[king-of-oreo]

NO!

[avhira]

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: A ga g t t at t t t ga T tag g a Ag agag Acctac ! T tag g a Ag agag Acctac

Closest match: Psylliodes chrysocephala genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Cabbage Stem Flea Beetle

(image source)

[graveexcitement]

[kebbopulos]

[spaghettihell]

[xwxtchbxtchx]

He gets it

[croaksac]

via Seattle Times:

Local Ballard raccoon has been spotted thriving in a remarkably unique and charming body

Yes he(?)'s actually factually real and has even been given an extremely millennial nickname: Jimothy. Wildlife experts advise everyone to just leave him alone and let him live his life

[parkchanwoohoo]

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

[gunsandfireandshit]

This is painfully American

[dirtbaby2016]

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

[unstablebill]

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

[shanebug]

[cannibalchicken]

[prospitianescapee]

This one is pissing me off because there’s cheese in it. I’m not sure there’s a period of Chinese dynastic history wherein the type of dudes likely to be having rap battles would also have been familiar with hard cheese. There’d be political fucking implications to that. Fermented dairy products were often seen as uncivilized foods, and were associated in particular with northern “barbarian” cuisine (see: <lactose intolerance in Eurasia>), whereas competitive poetry was viewed as a civilized and scholarly pastime appropriate to civil servants and courtiers. Mentioning cheese in a verse which also references the heavens could be seen as an effort to legitimize the presence of these dangerous foreign elements within Chinese society, and, thus, as seditious. If dairy were to become a common theme in rap battles, it might be viewed as a dangerous sign of poor morale and defeatist thinking among the literati. “Emperor, we have got to move the capital to the south. The scholars are rapping about cheese. It’s all falling apart.”

[cryptotheism]

Now this is a fucking post

[charlesoberonn]

Me: Get your mind out of the gutter!

Horny ghost possessing my rain gutter: I'm so dirty, daddy.

[littlebeetlebro]

me: *sobbing in the woods*

The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.

me: *turns around* oh shit fr?

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Me, at the local coffee shop: Hey, can I get an objective experience of reality? Blue-haired feminist barista, pronounedly: Oh, you mean a construction of the intellect according to its a priori principles? Me, rolling my eyes: No. I said an objective experience of reality. Barista, too addled by college to understand: So... a phenomenological reality whose grounding in a world of noumena is bracketed? Me: No, an objective experience of reality. Barista: A representation, made of relations to yourself as a subject? Me: No! I want a frickin' objective experience of reality!

Barista: *stares blankly* Person behind me in line: Hey, could you hurry up and order? Some of us are trying to experience a series of mental events which we interpret as going places!

[sighinastorm]

these belong with each other

[sighinastorm]

[barian-phoenix-nvbh]

After the whole "Parallel Arthurian Universe where the entire Pendragon line after Arthur is part squirrel" revelation, this doesn't even surprise me.