will you up and leave (or will you be there in the morning) a fic by PennedByLynn
Shane’s jealous, sometimes, of all that autonomy. Rozanov leaves and Shane stays. The leaving is so much easier because you’re in motion, off to new destinations and intentionally disrupted routines. The staying is so much harder because everything’s just slightly different, in the aftermath. A hotel room is just a hotel room until Shane has to sleep in it alone, knowing what it was like to have Rozanov’s curls pressed against the spare pillow. He gets left but he’s not alone, hoodies and tanktops and the occasional sock - seriously, what kind of psychopath only puts one sock back on when he leaves? - washing up on Shane’s shore like seaglass or broken shells. He carved out space to make someone else fit and now he’s just supposed to… what, exactly? Pretend the silence isn’t louder and the scent of the room hasn’t changed and there aren’t strands of gold on that fucking pillowcase? It’s so much easier when Shane is the one to leave. Rozanov can exist within the confines of his own hotel room and Shane can return to one that only he has ever occupied. Or, more realistically, he can slip back through the door before Hayden’s return with the happy knowledge that Ilya Rozanov has never breathed this air. They are contained, returning to their separate orbits, and Shane always takes all of his belongings - including both socks - because that’s the considerate thing to do. When you already have the easier job, it makes sense to shoulder the responsibility of containment. -- Or, Shane weighs the merits of leaving and getting left over the course of his and Ilya's relationship
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