like senpai, like kohai [sugisaku, rated T, 1.2k words]
Dinner and a movie. The timeless, fail-proof classic date combination.
At least, that's what Sugishita's been told; and frankly, he can't see why or what the appeal of it is at all.
What else are you supposed to do during the dinner portion other than, well, eat dinner? Despite Sakura's insistence that they just have omurice at Cafe Pothos, they ended up deciding on a monjayaki place outside of town, closer to Shishitoren territory; this would afford them at least a little more privacy, what with half the town not knowing who you are and calling out advice to you as they observe your date like you're the movie. Sugishita has to admit, he place is good; very good. So good that Sakura orders seconds, then thirds, and then asks for his fourth serving to-go so he can eat it at the movie. ("As a snack! What if the movie's boring and I get hungry!")
But as good as the food is, it's not better than any monjayaki they could get in their own neck of the woods. And yes, it's a little exciting to be in an unfamiliar place, but couldn't they have just had dinner in silence at home? Order food; eat the food; pay the bill. None of those things seems particularly romantic to Sugishita.
Well, Sugishita supposes that, according to Umemiya-san and Tomiyama, what you could do instead of eating anything at all is spend the entire meal making out with your date. The slurping sounds they make are almost as loud as the sounds of Sakura scarfing down his monja; and while there isn't any conversation happening for the two of them to either participate in or interrupt, Sugishita can't help but feel a little left out in the cold. After he and his own date have finished their meal, they could only sit there, again in silence, waiting for their dinner companions to finish up.
Plus — and Sugishita really doesn't mean to complain — but Umemiya-san and Tomiyama kiss so vigorously that they keep bumping into Sugishita and knocking him out of his seat. Which — it's totally fine — in fact, it's great that Umemiya-san is having so much fun on his date — literally. (At least, Sugishita thinks he's having fun; he doesn't know enough about kissing to be able to recognize the signs that you're having a good time.) Once or twice is totally fine; three times is so OK too! But after the sixth, then seventh time, Sugishita's hip is starting to hurt, and Sakura is starting to get grumpy despite his full belly, leaning his head into one hand and jiggling his feet.
Eventually, Sakura reaches his limit. "Can ya hurry it up already? You're the ones who wanted to see this stupid movie, aren't you?"
Umemiya detaches himself from his date slowly, like a sucker on an octopus' tentacle. "You're totally right, thanks for remindin' me, Sakura!" he exclaims as he glances down at his watch. He pats Tomiyama, who climbed fully onto Umemiya's lap and started nuzzling his neck, gently on the back a few times. "C'mon Choji, let's get going; we don't want to be late and have to sit all the way in the front!"
It takes a few more tries, but eventually Choji's convinced — or rather, bribed with caramel popcorn — into letting go of Umemiya just enough to be essentially carried to the theater. He yaps away the entire time, Umemiya laughing heartily every couple seconds at whatever he says, funny or not.
Sakura and Sugishita, on the other hand, walk in silence side by side with about six inches of space between them. They've both still been too shy to even hold hands — well. Sugishita has been too shy, turning a brighter shade than even Sakura has ever achieved whenever their fingers even just come close to brushing against each other. Sakura has been too scared ever since Suo told him that there's the possibility of getting pregnant from holding hands without protection. Today was rather warm, too warm to wear gloves; and so Sakura had to take the risk and be extra vigilant not to have any accidents on his very first date. How embarrassing that would be! He'd never be able to look his resulting baby in the face.
As soon as the group is seated, Umemiya and Tomiyama's faces find each other like two magnets. They kiss all through the commercials, and kiss more during all the trailers, which Tsugeura claimed are the best part of going to the movies; they don't even come up for air when the movie itself starts, continuing to kiss even when a loud explosion from a helicopter crash has most of the theater jumping in their seats.
Sugishita tries to concentrate on what's happening on the screen, but the whole spy turned double agent who's secretly the good guy — or is she the bad guy? — loses him completely after the main character is kidnapped by someone who's either her biological father or her former boss — or possibly both. It's hard to focus, what with all the kissing going on on his right side, while on his left, Sakura keeps distracting him with how the bright, flashing lights of the movie's explosions light up his face like fireworks.
What exactly is so great about dates? Sugishita simply can't see what all the hype is about. Not only are they expensive and not fun, but they're also potentially dangerous, if you happen to sit next to a kisser.
And then, suddenly, it hits him, much like the truck hits the main character's car as she breaks free and tries to escape in a stolen vehicle. This entire time, Umemiya-san was showing him the proper way to go on a date, all of which completely went over Sugishita's head. No wonder he's been having such a bad time; he's been dating all wrong! He and Sakura should have been kissing the entire time!
Sugishita quickly turns to Sakura; he hesitates for a moment, his breath hitching as another explosion turns Sakura's eyes into stars; and then before his brain can jump in and sabotage his date any further, he grabs Sakura's face and mashes their lips together.
Fireworks. Explosions. Crash! Boom! Everything erupts all at once in Sugishita's belly, in his heart, in his mind. What the hell has he been doing all this time, when he could have been doing this instead? Sakura freezes at first, and the cold knife of fear strikes within Sugishita — what if Sakura pulls away? Is disgusted? Will never want anything to do with Sugishita again? But then Sugishita feels Sakura's lips melt into his, passing a sigh into his mouth, hands coming up to grip the sleeves of Sugishita's shirt.
The movie finishes. How it ends, Sugishita couldn't tell you; he and Sakura, being the good kohai that they are, mimic Umemiya and Tomiyama and are attached at the mouth, though they spring apart as soon as the lights come back on.
"Wow, it's over already? That was so fast!" Umemiya laughs once he and Tomiyama have untangled themselves. "So what'd you think, Sugishita? How was your very first date?"
Sugishita considers it carefully.
Dinner and a movie? Stupid and a total waste of time and money.
He can't wait to find out what it's like at home, and for free.