Brown Meets Orange

A miscellaneous catalog of stories, thoughts, and art in it's most obscure (almost unrecognizable) form.

[brownmeetsorange]

[brownmeetsorange]

[brownmeetsorange]

Living In Japan

Going Bowling.

Me: Hi, I need a pair of shoes please.

Bowling Lady: Yes, yes. Shoes. Size?

Me: 13 inches. Or 33 centimeters.

She scurries off. Two minutes later she returns.

Bowling Lady: No have pair. Feet too big.

Me: Awesome. What is the biggest size you have? I could try a 12.

Bowling Lady: Largest 10 inches. 

Me: How are  you guys allowed to go on amusement park rides?

[brownmeetsorange]

Good Morning

[brownmeetsorange]

The Moon King

[brownmeetsorange]

Quote #5

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at fourth you don't succeed...quit."

- My Dad

[brownmeetsorange]

The Shark

[brownmeetsorange]

Mother's Day Gift Debate

Option 1: Cookware

Thoughts: What is this, the 50's? She doesn't sit in the kitchen all day just making stuff for me to eat. I mean, she does cook really well, but that is not all she does in life! Cookware is sexist.

Option 2: Candle

Thoughts: I always get her a candle. What am I trying to say? You smell? She doesn't smell! She is my freakin Mom! Candles are too cheap and easy, it has to be something more substantial. Next!

Option 3: Cheesy Jewelry

Thoughts: That is some cheesy freakin jewelry. I don't think I want to buy it because the commercial was so stupid and annoying. Plus, I don't even know if it is her style. Do Mom's even have style?

Option 4: Flowers

Thoughts: Safe bet. Maybe too safe? Everyone likes flowers...but they don't last very long. Is that a metaphor for our relationship? Am I saying I don't care anymore about my Mom?

Option 5: Money

Thoughts: Please buy whatever you want Mom. Thanks for raising me.

[brownmeetsorange]

[brownmeetsorange]

The Giraffe.

[brownmeetsorange]

Mission Literally Impossible

Puts on sunglasses.

Voice: Your mission should you choose to accept it, is to track dow-

Agent: I'm going to stop you right there. No thanks. 

Voice: Excuse me?

Agent: My other missions have been a little too intense for my taste. I'm still a little sore from all the jumping and fighting. I think I'll pass on this one.

Voice: But the mission-

Agent: Is probably ridiculous and 'impossible' and you need me to save the world or whatever. At this point, I don't care anymore.

Voice: Wait! There is a hot girl on this mission though. You might get lucky!

Agent: I'm kinda dating someone right now...so yeah, probably best I chill for a bit.

Voice: Screw you man. I'm going to self destruct now. 

BOOM

Agent: AHH! My eyes! You mission slut!

[brownmeetsorange]

Things To Give Up For Lent

Vegetables 

Reading

Time with other people

Computer (only Facebook, all other sites allowed)

Eating at Arby's

Spending time with Family

Re-watching House of Cards

Video Games...that I've already completed

Emails at work

Getting out of bed in the morning

[brownmeetsorange]

Quote #4

"Singing is easy now thanks to technology!"

- Katy Perry

[brownmeetsorange]

My Holiday Card to You

[brownmeetsorange]

Quote #3

"Radio would be cooler if I could see these noises."

- Inventor of the Television

[brownmeetsorange]

Meeting My White Girlfriend's Grandma

Nervously walking to the door.

Girlfriend: Don't worry, she'll love you. 

The door opens.

Grandma: There you are honey. So great to see you!

Girlfriend: Hi Grandma! Great to see you too! Let me introduce my boyfrie-

Grandma: Well hello young man. Is this your first time in America?

Shocked silence.

Grandma: Oh, oops. Honey, does he speak English?

[brownmeetsorange]

Christmas with Your Best Friend

He opens his gifts eagerly.

Best Friend: Oh man! You got me that expensive jacket I wanted AND tickets to see my favorite band! Thanks dude!

You: No problem!

Open your gift.

You: Oh, cool. You got me a book. 

Best Friend: Yeah, but it's that one book that you haven't read yet.

You: Yup. Definitely never heard of this one before. 

Best Friend: Whew! Good, I wanted to make sure it was something new and exciting!

You: Totally. This is definitely it. 

Best Friend: We know each other so well. Glad we got exactly what we wanted.