Wretched and Divine
When the long lost princess sells her soul to save another, she hopes her family can save her. They failed.
A retelling of Season 5.
The groans and shuffling coming from the diner floor was the first sign something was wrong. As Killian looked around, he saw everyone slowly coming to consciousness. Everyone but her.
“What happened?” He heard Mary Margaret ask, blearily. He glanced over quickly and saw she was holding baby Neal close to her chest. She peeked down at the babe’s face and when she didn’t raise an alarm, Killian began looking around the room again, his eyes darting around to everyone in turn. If anyone looked to be hiding something, he would make sure they screamed when they admitted it.
“We’re back.” He heard the gruff answer from David. The man was also slowly getting to his feet, helping his wife to hers and supporting the babe.
Killian got to his own feet to get better eyes on Henry. “Bloody hell,” he explained as a sudden pain pierced his skull. He sought out the boy he had spent the last few months beginning to think of as his own- in every way that counted. Through the pounding pressure, he found him, getting to his own feet unscathed. Killian’s stress calmed, but only minutely. The lad’s mother was still nowhere in sight.
“This doesn’t make any sense. We were just walking into Camelot.” Regina observed, her own eyes bouncing around the room, also taking stock of who was there, and who- noticeably- was not. As Henry’s adoptive mother, she was also quick to put eyes on him, but after rushing to his side to check he was okay, began looking around for the one missing member of their party. The core member.
“What the hell are we wearing?” Killian heard one of the dwarves grouse and he had to restrain the eye roll, there were more important questions to be asked. The crotchety man wasn’t even supposed to come with them originally and Killian felt his already frayed nerves begin to shatter,
Then he glanced down at his own clothes. He was wearing something much closer to the long duster and leather he was used to, as opposed to the tight clothes of this new world he’d been wearing of late. The clothes Emma had expressed a very profound appreciation for.
“What!? Six weeks?!” He heard Regina exclaim and looked back up sharply. That couldn’t be right.
“Our memories… they’re gone.” David supplied, and the hole in his chest grew wider. The last time everyone had lost their memories, he’d been safe. Outside the purview of the previous curse. The curse that had finally brought him back to Emma and her strange, magicless world after a year of knowing she had no memory of him. Of any of them.
He’d teased everyone else about their missing memories. That loss now felt like a violation, he was unmoored.
Six whole weeks.
And now Emma was missing. He had no idea where she was, or where to start looking. No idea if he’d need to rescue her again, but this time without the benefit of in-place memories.
“Again?” Snow’s desperation was something he finally related to. It was her daughter that was missing after all. If anyone could comprehend his desperation, it would be her.
He mentally catalogued his memories of the woman he loved. Wanting to make sure everything else was still there.
He had fought so hard to climb the walls Emma had built to protect her heart. Months of dedication and constantly showing her that he would show up for her. That he wasn’t going anywhere. That he would protect her to his last.
She had told him she loved him. Finally. He’d shown her he’d loved her in so many ways, even declaring her his happy ending despite knowing it could push her away. But finally he’d destroyed the last brick of her defense and she said she loved him.
Moments before she was sucked away in a vortex of evil to save the once evil queen that had adopted her son. A woman she began to respect and consider a friend, but whom Killian was now very much doubting was worth the sacrifice.
When they finally found Emma, in another realm at the outskirts of the legendary kingdom of Camelot, he felt like he could breathe again. Only to watch her threaten to crush a heart in her hands for her own gains.
But he had succeeded in convincing Emma to make the right choice. To choose good and not give in to the darkness. He was holding her hand tightly in his, finally having her close again.
Knowing that she loved him, and that he was able to pull her from the darkness the same way she’d been doing for him since they’d met. His own darkness had never felt further away than those last few months they’d been together. His happy ending was finally in his hands. He had finally found what he’d spent centuries searching for, but had thought lost to him.
The darkness in his heart had been quelled, his bloodlust staunched. He finally felt like his path in life was something to be proud of. Something his brother would be proud of, something Milah had always wanted for him. Something his mother would be happy to see.
Something Killian finally felt worthy of.
All thanks to Emma Swan and the love he had fought hard to earn. They’d started across the bridge into the towering castle courtyard arm in arm. And then… nothing. Waking up in new clothes in the diner they’d used to travel to the other realm. Darkness filtered through the windows, occasional bright flashes like lightning shining through the blinds.
And she was nowhere in sight, he felt the doubt and fear creeping in. He can’t have fought so long to push away the darkness in himself only to lose her to it.
“Where’s Emma?” He finally asked. He felt his calm slipping, felt a panic seeping into his bones. He clenched his fist. Someone here had to know what happened to her, someone knew where she was, and he was going to find out who.
He took a step towards Regina’s sister. The witch’s magic was still constrained by the brace on her wrist, but she’d proven craftier than they gave her credit for before. She was likely the one responsible for their memory loss yet again. He would get answers from her one way or another. She would know where Emma was, even as her confused eyes tried to say she was as clueless as the rest of them. He didn’t believe her. She was the craftiest evil he had ever met next to The Crocodile.
He wouldn’t be surprised if she had tried to steal their happiness. His and Emma’s, her son’s, her parents’. She’d tried in the past. He felt cold fury bolt through his blood the more he thought about it.
The door whooshed open. There was crackling of electricity outside and the dark diner was flooded with light from a fire burning outside. “Relax. I’m right here.”
Emma. He felt his soul sooth immediately. She was okay. He turned to face her, but paused in horror.
Her golden hair was ice white and slicked back in a harsh bun he’d never seen her wear. Even when she was more guarded, her hair was always loose and free. He felt his stomach roll, something was so wrong.
He recalled the moment she’d held another’s life in her hands. She’d been able to push away the darkness that was trying to take over her soul, to darken her heart to match his own. His stomach, and his heart, dropped further. At some point between then and now, the six weeks that were now missing from their memory, he had failed to protect her heart from the darkness.
He had failed her.
She had taken something she shouldn’t have. Practiced magic to get something against the natural order of things. And paid the price with her soul.
“Mom?” Henry broke through Killian’s despairing thoughts. Her son was equally at a loss, equally heart broken, and Killian’s own heart broke more for the pain the boy was feeling. “What happened to you?” The boy whispered. Killian’s own despair was mirrored in the boy’s voice.
“Isn’t it obvious?” She looked around the room, eyes catching on everyone in her family except Killian or her boy. “You went to Camelot to get the darkness out of me.” Her eyes finally snagged on Killian’s. The look in them… “And you failed.” Something wasn’t right. It was more than him failing to save her. There was a loud sneeze that broke the silence cloistering the room. “What the hell are you supposed to be?” She asked.
That was when Killian noticed the dwarf he assumed was Sneezy was also in the diner wearing a red leather jacket that matched the one Emma usually wore.”Ah-“ He started.
But Emma was quicker, and held much less patience than she typically did, which was rarely much to begin with. With a wave of her hand Sneezy turned to stone before their eyes.
Killian’s breath stuttered. It was one thing to see her visibly changed into a dark one, the bane of his existence. The creature responsible for his pain and hurt across centuries. The one thing that he loathed above all else. It was something else so entirely more shattering to watch his love act on the evil that pulsed through her.
His Swan was goodness and light. Something her parents risked their own untouched hearts to ensure. She was someone who always found another way, who put every other person above herself. She was someone who saw the good in everyone, even him. Even the pitiful, desperate pirate who only wanted revenge and planned to not live past seeking it.
“There’s no savior in this town anymore.” She declared, and the chasm in his chest grew wider at the truth that rang in her words.
“Emma, stop. That’s enough,” Regina tried to chastise.
“Or what?” Emma challenged.
“Or I’ll do exactly what you asked me to.” She threatened and reached for the dagger Emma had given her before Camelot. Killian took a step forward to stop her.
An evil of the magnitude of The Dark One couldn’t exist without a tether. Something to potentially contain and control it. The dagger engraved with her name was that leash. Emma had entrusted the dagger to Regina. His heart lurched at the memory, so fresh in his mind as though it had happened hours before.
He’d waited until the last possible second before attempting to force Emma against her will to not kill that red headed lass among the standing stones. If he were honest with himself, he doubted he would have ever used it. He knew that was why Regina had been the one entrusted with the power to control Emma instead of him. Emma knew it, too.
Neither he nor her parents would ever think to use it against her. They wouldn’t just wait until the last second, they would allow her to spill innocent blood, hoping they could stop her the next time.
Well, maybe her parents might only need that one life lost before they stepped in. But he would have been willing to sacrifice hundreds if it meant Emma choosing her own actions.
A sacrifice he knew Emma wouldn’t be able to live with- but he would. And that’s exactly why the dagger had gone to Regina instead of him.
Then he saw Regina clasp at nothing. He felt his hand reach for his own pockets. Maybe…
“Looking for this?” his arm dropped and he looked up to see Emma holding the dagger. The only thing they could use to stop her, and it was now in her own hands.
He hated how happy that made him.
“Nobody’s going to touch this dagger but me.” Her voice was venom. Deeper than he’d ever heard it. Menacing and in control. His breath shuttered again. She walked further into the room, pacing in front of her captive audience. Not one of them would move against her. “Now, for what you all did… You’re about to be punished.”
This wasn’t right, “Emma… Why are you doing this?” He asked her in desperation. His fingers itched to reach for her. His hook tapped against his leg, desperate to pull her close.
She turned her attention to him. He had noticed how little she caught his eyes compared to everyone else in the room. How she avoided him. He felt anger rise up. But at her ignoring him, or at himself for the unknown actions he must have committed to drive her to this point, he wasn’t sure.
She watched him for a second and he saw that same flash he’d seen when she’d first caught his eye. Something deep and desperate. Something aching. “Because... I am the Dark One.” She said as she shuttered that emotion away. It was behind so high a wall that while he’d climbed her defenses before, he didn’t think he could tear these down.
In a puff of smoke, she was gone. Taking his heart with her.
*
Henry knew the rules of the Dark One. Knew that he could summon his birth mother the same way kids scared each other at sleepovers before the curse broke. Standing on the docks that had brought him so much peace in the last year, he watched the waves crash for a minute, gathering courage. “Emma Swan. Emma Swan. Emma Swan.” He finally called.
“Henry” He hadn’t sensed her arrival, but at her soft voice, he closed his eyes, soothed for a moment by the presence of his mom. He was scared, and for a small second, he was allowed to feel comforted.
Then he turned to the source of that very fear.
Her hair was still stark white, pulled harshly away from her face. Her clothes were tight and black and angular in a way that she never had been. But her face was alight with a kind of joy.
His adoptive mom, Regina, had always been angular lines and harsh features. Emma had been softer. As tough as she was, as much as she’d always protected her heart, even from him at first, he knew she was just as soft hearted as he was. She’d let him in as soon as she realized the truth about their town. She’d fought for him and never gave up on him.
But apparently he’d failed her anyway. “Mom?” He asked tentatively as though unsure if it even was her.
She reached out for his hand, but on instinct he pulled away. He saw the flinch in her eyes. And couldn’t bring himself to feel bad. This wasn’t his mother, this was some imposter in her skin.
“You don’t have to be scared of me,” she offered quietly, her voice an octave too deep, her smile just a little too brittle.
“What happened?” He begged. “Why are you like this now?” How did I fail you? How can I fix it?
She took a deep breath and breathed out, “It’s complicated.” She answered, her face conflicted as though she were trying to make sure she didn’t lie to him.
He fought the sting in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom. Whatever happened in Camelot, I’m sorry we failed you.”
He apparently didn’t fight it hard enough, because as soon as the words were out of his mouth, she shifted. He saw his mom again when she gently said, “I know what I said last night, but, Henry, you didn’t fail me. Everyone else did.”
He was going to ask what she meant by that. How could everyone else have failed her? Why hadn’t she clarified better the night before?
But then he heard his other mother. The one who had raised him and had found the side of good and love despite her best efforts to stay a villain. “Get away from my son.” Regina called, her tone cold and sharp and so reminiscent of Henry’s younger years. The time before he found Emma, ten years after she’d given him away in hopes he’d have his best chance. Ten years after Regina, the evil queen, adopted the son of the one woman who could break the curse she’d put on her kingdom. The time before everyone woke up and remembered who they were. Regina now wore that evil queen persona as a shield to protect him.
He cringed at the terrible timing.
Henry saw the wall fly up behind Emma’s eyes as soon as Regina made herself known. Her voice was too deep again when she asked, “What’s the matter, Regina? Are you afraid Henry will learn the truth about what happened in Camelot?”
Henry felt his forehead crinkle. That didn’t make any sense. How could Regina be afraid he’d find out the truth, if she didn’t even know what the truth was?
Henry wasn’t the only one to notice the fallacy in Emma’s words because Regina quickly quipped, “if the truth is so important to you, why did you erase our memories?”
“It’s a curse, Regina.” Emma said as though bored with the conversation. But Henry knew, he knew, that erased memories were not a requirement of the curse that kept bringing everyone to Maine. It was something the caster chose to add. He needed to find out why Emma chose to make them all forget, while still taunting his other mom with the truth they couldn’t remember. “If I wanted you to know, I wouldn’t have erased your memories.” Not good enough.
Regina stood tall, her hand on Henry’s shoulder. Protective. Just like when Emma first came into their lives and didn’t trust Regina, now Regina was protecting him from Emma.“You know we won’t stop until we get them back.”
“It’s not going to happen, Regina. Because I did learn from you, and I built this curse without the one thing you need to break it. A savior.” But that wasn’t true. Because Henry had spent time with his grandfather, he knew the curse had a savior, not because it was inherent in the curse but because Rumplestiltskin had only told Regina a savior was required. He’d wanted to be able to break the curse easily so he could look for Henry’s father as soon as possible. Something that could only happen with a savior, and therefore a backdoor way to regain his memories.
Something Emma knew very well, even if Regina didn’t.
“Well, we’ll find a way. We always have.” Regina said.
“Yes, with me. Now you’re on your own.”
“You’re wrong. I can protect this town.” Henry was proud of his adoptive mother. She’d come so far, and now she was seeing herself fully as part of the town she’d built. She was proof Emma was not totally lost. Her and Hook both. They were evidence that the darkness wasn’t the end all be all. That it could be overcome. Henry had to believe that was true now more than ever. It had never mattered more.
“We’ll see about that. Because there’s a problem headed to Storybook that only a savior can solve. It’s too bad there isn’t one.” With that final statement, Emma waved her hand and disappeared in a puff of red smoke.
Henry wanted to cry, but he wasn’t a baby. He needed to get to work figuring out how to rescue his mom, and how to help his other mom. But first he needed to make sure everyone was on the same page. “Is it true? Are you afraid that you did do something bad? That you hurt my mom?”
Regina took a deep breath and let out a full sigh before she chose to speak. “If she were just mad at me? I would say maybe? Six weeks is a long time; but she’s mad at everybody. You, her parents? Even her little lovesick puppy dog?” That last question seemed more for herself than Henry and he was able to quell the shiver of disgust at one of his future step-dad’s being referred to as a puppy dog but only barely.
“She’s not mad at me, though.” He said. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, and his mom’s brow rose from intrigue. “She just told me.”
“Is that so?”
He nodded fiercely.
Regina looked to the spot where his birth mother had stood moments ago. “Well that might change some things.” She once again wasn’t fully speaking to him, but her tone had grown more livid and Henry had to fight from rolling his eyes at her dramatics.
*
“Where’s tall, dark and tragic?” Regina quipped when she entered the diner to plan with the rest of the family.
Snow White and David were sitting in a booth across from Henry with Robin sitting in a chair at the end. She stood next to her son and was quick to discern the missing piece of their rag-tag crew.
David’s face tensed and Robin was the one who answered, “he’s…. Looking into a theory.”
Before she could ask, Snow provided, “he’s talking to Belle. He wants to try True Love’s Kiss.” This time both David and Henry looked uncomfortable.
Regina’s eye brows rose. “Ah,” was all she supplied, “and do we…. Think that could work?” She asked the table.
“There’s no greater magic than true love.” Snow said resolutely, but the uncertainty in her voice was not an answer to the question.
As Regina slid into the booth next to Henry, Robin let his hand rest on her arm. She knew the power of true love. Everyone at their table knew first hand how powerful it could be. But she also saw the apprehension on their faces.
It was finally Henry’s voice that spoke up. “I think it could.” He looked like he’d rather talk about anything other than his mother kissing Captain Hook, but he was putting on a brave face. He looked to his adoptive mom, “Before your curse, it almost worked for Gra- Belle. But because Grampa didn’t want to let go of the Dark One’s power, it didn’t.”
Snow opened her mouth and began with a tentative tone, “that’s not really what we’re worried about.” She said quietly.
“I may not have known her for long, but the Emma we saw last night?” Robin shook his head, “She didn’t seem like she was ready to let her powers go. Not like she was when we found her in Camelot.” Leave it to Robin to see the best in the reformed pirate and think what he and Emma Swan shared was true love, but also to find a subtle way to show Henry support.
Snow tried to clarify what she meant, but David’s hand came down hard on the table, “you’re right, you don’t know her.”
“David,” Snow chided quietly at the same time Robin held up his hands in acquiescence.
“You’re probably right,” Robin offered, genuinely, “I hope you are.” He stood up and Regina almost stopped him, “I need to check in with the Merry Men, see how they’re settling in with the Camelot encampment.”
“Encampment?” Regina questioned.
David stood as well and answered, “seems we weren’t the only ones Emma brought back to Maine. All of Camelot is here. We’re setting them up in the woods outside of town while we figure things out.”
Snow stood as well, “we’ll come with you. It might be best to talk, one royal to another. We’re going to have to tell them we tried to bring the Dark One into their kingdom.” She sighed heavily.
“They’re used to a castle, you think they’ll be fine with some tents?” Regina asked.
Snow raised her chin defiantly and Regina had to fight her urge to be annoyed. “If you have a better idea on how to get them home quicker, I’m sure they’d appreciate it. Until we can figure everything out this is the best we can do.”
She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes as she stood, “I’m sure at the very least I can be of some assistance.” She looked at Snow with a smirk, “I know you don’t mind, but some of us prefer finer elements of comfort.”
Robin scoffed a laugh and the air was just a little lighter. “Actually they seem to be fairly content with the current living conditions. You should give them more credit,” He said with a teasing affection.
