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@brynnaraven
Hey hun♥️ how has your husband been? And how are you doing? I hope all has been well!
He’s doing well! It’s been a long few years. Coming up on 2 years since losing my Dad, and my husband finished treatment a little over a year ago. I think we are finally starting to emotionally (and physically) recover.
Oh, readers. I wish I had news of a new chapter of Crazy Faith, but I don’t yet. Yet. We are moving through the final part of my husband’s brain cancer treatment, which is chemo, and that will be over in late October. He is doing remarkably well, but that is his way. He is such a warrior.
The week after my husband finished 28 radiation treatments, my Dad died very suddenly of a heart attack in February, with no previous indicators that this could happen. He had a lung condition from agent orange exposure in Vietnam, but no cardiac problems that we ever knew about. It was a massive and horrible thing that hit like a freight train. We are all still reeling from it, and the last three months have been a roller coaster to say the least. Because it wasn’t enough already, you know? My family and I have spent a lot of time helping my mom sort out affairs, I arranged the funeral since he was buried where I live and had to be transported, it’s been… I don’t have a word. The year isn’t half over and I’m already tapped. Honestly I’d really love to take a whole week, lock myself in a hotel alone, and write like four chapters, but I’m not sure it would happen. My brain just is so very tired and won’t enter FicMode yet. I try. I reread parts of CF to try and get things flowing, but then I cry when I read about Munro’s death. I won’t always. I will finish this damn story one day.
My Dad took me to see Last of the Mohicans in 1992. My Dad gave me my first longrifle. This is basically because of him. So I will finish it. I WANT to finish it! I just don’t know when. I’m sorry, y’all.
Dear readers and fans,
I am so heartily sorry it’s been so long since my last chapter published for Crazy Faith. As many of you know, my sweet husband was diagnosed with brain cancer in late July 2021, and if my life was a rollercoaster before that, it’s a freaking hurricane now. Biopsy in August confirmed grade 2 oligodendroglioma with a favorable genetic profile that makes it most responsive to treatment, but the tumor was quite large - 9cm. He underwent surgery in October to remove the existing cranioplasty from his combat injury and resect the tumor, and his wonderful neurosurgeons were able to resect all but about 1cm of the mass in his right frontal lobe, and one of his epileptologists was also on the case to take some of the surrounding seizure-active tissue related to his injury. This was all pretty successful and he recovered fast and well like the walking miracle he has always been. 28 Radiation treatments started in December and this week he will finish, and then get a 4 week break before 14ish months of PCV chemotherapy begin. It’s a long and twisty road, and my brain has not been in a frame of mind to write, which is frustrating but normal I suppose.
Last week I myself had surgery to release my right carpal tunnel and on my right elbow to relocate my ulnar nerve where it won’t pop over my elbow and continue to be damaged - I have had problems with both for quite a while and it was time to get it fixed before permanent damage occurred. I need my hands working. That all went well thanks to my super awesome surgeon and OR team, all of whom I am privileged to work with daily. I’m hoping that during the time I’ve taken off to recover I will feel like writing next week after my restrictive splint comes off.
Thank you, truly, to those who have sent private messages over the last several months. I’ve always joked about my life being wild, but this has absolutely been a test of just how wild it can get. Can we be done now? Because I’d really love a few blissfully boring years after all this is over, or some wildness in the form of family adventures and not brain cancer.
OK readers… remember how I’m always delayed in writing because my life keeps exploding? Get a load of the latest reason my next chapter is so delayed: My husband has a brain tumor.
We discovered this over the past six months or so as he was having a battery of imaging and inpatient EEG tests to prepare for what we hoped would be an epilepsy surgery to lessen or even totally cure the seizures he has had since his brain injury in Iraq 15 years ago (if you’ve read Flying Into the Fire, you know part of this story). In July after the last contrast MRI, we found out instead that what we’d be doing is a tumor resection. Imaging showed a 9cm mass (which we have nicknamed “The Predator”), and this thing is probably the reason his seizures have changed for the worse the last few years. It appears to be a low grade glioma of some kind - which, if you’re going to have a brain tumor, is the better type to have, because glioblastoma will kill you fast and furious where glioma is slow and relatively benign for years until it converts to malignancy. That being said, some glioma cell types are more problematic and more likely to convert than others, so we still need to know what kind it is and how aggressive his neurosurgeons have to be with resecting it, what kind of radiation and possibly chemo he would need, etc.
Today, August 12, he is having an inpatient biopsy to get all this information. Resection planning is the next step after pathology results come back. I will be on leave from work intermittently for these procedures, and I am hoping my brain will choose writing as a distraction for things like hospital stays and 6-8 hour tumor resection surgeries.
But… humor is a good coping mechanism for us nurses, and I gave him this hat complete with a little hand sewn 9cm tumor.
Just a little smartass humor for today. Because I can’t take anything seriously.
Gee, thanks for reminding me, subtitles. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
NEW ONE-SHOT POSTED:
“Another Forty Yards”, a Last of the Mohicans story by BrynnaRaven
Summary:
Fort William Henry. As Nathaniel, Uncas and the Colonial militia prepare to send Munro's courier to Fort Edward to request reinforcements, and the militia subsequently plans to leave the fort to protect their families, Nathaniel is also deep in thought about the piece of blue silk he carries with him for shooting patches, and his feelings for the woman who gave it to him. FFN and AO3 links provided below the photo. If you read it, I’d love it if you would comment and let me know how you liked it! ❤️
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13840685/1/Another-Forty-Yards
https://archiveofourown.org/works/30044124
YOU. GUYS. In the eight MILLION times I have watched Last of the Mohicans I have failed to notice this minute detail until right now. These stills are from the scene where Nathaniel goes looking for Cora, and they subsequently kiss. LOOK AT WHAT IS TIED TO HIS WAMPUM STRAP. It’s a piece of Cora’s blue silk riding dress that was ruined on the journey to the fort. That’s what he was cutting to use for shooting patches during the famous surgery “I’m looking at you, Miss” scene. GOOD HEAVENS! The inner thoughts I could have written in my first fic about that kiss if Cora had noticed THAT tied there... like I might need to write a short oneshot about just her noticing this, because while it is likely tied there for completely utilitarian reasons (keeping it at the ready if he needed another patch quickly), it just makes my romantic little brain all squishy to see it tied there, like a visual of how they have been bound together. And I secretly feel like Nathaniel might have been sentimental enough to tie it there just because of what it was...his “reason to stay”. Even though he’d never admit to it. 😉
Aurora Borealis over Churchill, Manitoba, Canada 2/15/21 and 2/16/21. Easy to imagine how Nathaniel and Cora fell under their spell in Crazy Faith. ❤️
LOTM Wampum strap and choker origin story
Hello,
While attending a French and Indian War reenactment at Ft. Loudoun (Vonore Tn) as a Cherokee reenactor and trade goods vendor, I was told that I should go over to Ashville NC on my way back to Massachusetts and see if I could sell some items to the film producers.
Finding the offices in a rented warehouse district, I laid out some items on a blanket right there on the sidewalk and proceeded to knock on the door of the office. One of the producers reluctantly agreed to “take a look”. When he saw the glass wampum items, and stone pipes etc….he immediately said to come in side and talk.
After a quick phone call to the director….they bought a strap (THE strap) instantly, on condition that I send them some documentation when I got home, which was a blue glass (called “imitation wampum” in English records, and "facon de porcelain" in French archives) wampum belt attached to a Charlestown SC map horn in the Met. Museum in NY….(several of these straps are known). They also bought some wampum earrings, soapstone Indian pipes and a couple of legging garters (which became a “Choker” on Chingachcook). The producer further ordered a SECOND (copy) of the strap as soon as we could, (in case the original was stolen, destroyed or lost etc…).
The now widely copied bead pattern was completely MADE UP by myself…although closely related to the general iconography of many originals. Further, the matching strap and choker (of the same pattern) seemed to fit well in the overall plot, showing the relationship between the Indian Father and his adopted son. This was, of course, NOT our intention whatsoever, but merely to produce a quick, but legitimate pattern, and…..conserve on BLUE beads, which we had less of.
My now ex wife, demanded that SHE be able to make “something” for our trade business, (I made stone pipes and blacksmith items) and therefore took over the wampum end of the business, after I traded for the beads, learned the technique, bought and cut the leather and showed her the pattern and technique. So, a major prop was created when the movie was already in production!
This series of beads (Czech if I remember correctly?) were a little longer than most of the originals, and were the same imported by the “Plume Trading Post” who supplied them to the Iroquois Wampum belt project and book (only strung them on sinew not leather cords), and later bought out by the “Wandering Bull ” trading company in Attleboro MA. (where we acquired them) These longer beads slightly DISTORTED original belt patterns…but it had a good look. Up till then, only a few smaller items like chokers were being made with them for some pow wow dancers and Plymouth Plantation personnel, but NOW, full belts were “cool”. Since then, different bead series have come and gone, but I was able to make an exact copy a few years ago using beads from the original bead supply, taken from a personal wampum belt (then with disintegrating leather from years of dried sweat and UV light damage etc…) which I had made prior to the LOTM belt…therefore, the bead pattern was EXACTLY the same as that of the movie.
So, I am amused when I see the EXACT pattern used on many different items (belts, garters, statues, paintings, etc…(I posed for Griffing’s “Logan” but he added the choker as I recall) to this very day, over and over, and over.
Ken Hamilton
That time Ken Hamilton, the maker of Hawkeye’s famous wampum belt (and Chingachgook’s choker), found my Tumblr and told the story of its origin. 😁
Aurora Borealis over Churchill, Manitoba, Canada, April 2020. This spectacular show was the inspiration for the Aurora scene in chapter 13 of Crazy Faith.
Nathaniel and Cora ❤️
The diagram of the actual patented animal trap Nathaniel built for Wyatt Earp in chapter 11 of Crazy Faith. Visuals are always great!
TWO NEW CRAZY FAITH CHAPTERS ARE UP!!!
At long last you get two for one! FFN and AO3 links below. I only linked to chapter 12, but keep reading through chapter 13. I guarantee, you’ll be a lot happier reading both.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13024553/12/Crazy-Faith
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I am very relieved to share with my lovely readers that the newest chapters of Crazy Faith are completely written, they just need edits and notes. Chapters and Notes, plural, because as one chapter it ended up being around 12k words and I decided to divide it to give readers a place to take a mental break. So you'll be getting not one, but TWO new chapters, probably within 24-48 hours.
The last few months have been no less than extremely stressful, and getting this VERY important part of the story written was a big challenge. I’m so glad it finally got done and I’ll be sharing it with you very soon. Thank you to everyone who checked in while I was hanging out in the rough waters of life.
Laughing at stupid George Washington memes to make myself feel better about having had ZERO writing mojo while I was sick with COVID. I’m doing better and have been back at work, which is insane and exhausting at the end of the year, especially since I work at an outpatient surgery center that has absorbed a significant portion of the elective surgery load from the acute care hospitals that are not allowed to do elective surgeries right now. I’m currently brewing a secondary sinus infection and battening down the hatches to work again this week. Unfortunately one of the things COVID did to me was cause pretty bad brain fog, which really hinders my ability to think straight, remember details (even common words or names), write creatively, or concentrate. So this does has not been working well for trying to write one of the MOST IMPORTANT chapters in Crazy Faith. Which is sad because y’all were excited about it, I was excited about it too, and I really wanted to work on it. 😭😭😭 It will happen.
So, dear readers and LOTM fans. I have COVID-19. I’m going to try to pre-emptively answer the questions I’m being asked by people who care about me (or just satisfy yer morbid curiosity).
What happened?
I don’t know. I haven’t been to a store or public place in weeks. We only do curb pickup for groceries. Kiddo hasn’t been at school in person since early November. Husband works at home. I go to work at the surgery center and I come home. But, I woke up with flu-like symptoms and a fever yesterday, and being a nurse, with type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes, and with the possibility of unknown exposure due to the nature of my job, I went and got tested. The rapid test was positive. Husband isn’t feeling well either and is getting tested today. He has had fatigue, headaches and his simple-partial seizure activity is a little wonky. Most importantly, Our kiddo is fine, asymptomatic and full of energy. We are all isolating for a *minimum* of 10-14 days regardless of who is positive and who is not (and we are probably all positive by now).
How do I feel?
This is day 2. I’m tired, but I am told the worst fatigue can really hit a few days in. Right now I’ve had a mild fever, headache and burning sinuses, and the strangest muscle pain/exhaustion I’ve ever felt that doesn’t feel like normal flu. It’s mostly in my neck, and upper back/shoulder blades, but it migrates for brief periods sometimes. I also have congestion, and a cough that I hope remains as mild as it currently is but I anticipate that will get worse given how rapidly I get bronchitis when I’m sick. Maybe not, we will see. These symptoms sound normal on paper, but they don’t feel *quite* like anything I’ve had before. I want to say I have body aches/pains, but “pain” almost doesn’t seem like an appropriate word. I’ve said to several people that this is like the flu, but from another dimension. Just a little off-kilter, wibbly wobbly, weird and slightly alien. The Buckaroo Banzai flu, if you will.
What’s being done for it?
Nothing but normal cold/flu measures until/unless this gets worse. Mucinex, Tylenol and Motrin, vitamin D and C, zinc, fluids and rest, among other things. My endocrinologist knows, and my primary care doc knows and is ready to do more if I get other symptoms. I have a nebulizer with treatments if needed, I own a pulse oximeter (that’s been fine), and have antibiotics ready to go if my doctor feels that’s appropriate. I cooked two pots of soup today while I feel good enough to do it.
Am I at risk for complications?
Technically I guess so, but who knows? This virus has been a game of Russian Roulette with every type of patient, of every age, since the beginning. Aside from my well controlled and complication-free diabetes, I have no risky comorbidities, I am active and reasonably healthy. Unless my genetics pull a fast one on me, I really should recover just fine. When I do I’ll donate plasma for those who aren’t as lucky. And I’ll hope and pray that this is as bad as it gets for me and my family.
What do I want you to understand?
I love you all and I don’t want you to get sick. We all have a family member or loved one who we wouldn’t want to get this. My dad has a chronic lung condition from agent orange exposure and I would be terrified if he got this. This virus is highly transmissible and you WILL NOT know you have it until it’s too late to avoid spreading it. Please take precautions and take care of yourselves and your families.
With this unplanned down time I’m hoping to feel good enough to write, at least to finish the current chapter of Crazy Faith, because dammit Nathaniel and Cora WILL figure their shit out before anything happens to me!
God bless, peace out, namaste, and mucho loves. I’ll update y’all if things get any worse.
Artwork credit: M.J. Hiblen