beast mode @bstuiped - Tumblr Blog

SPOKEN FOR // TETO ANIMATION ⭐️

BITCOIN ASSASSIN AIMING A SNIPER RIFLE AT ME: target locked, sir. Just give me the go-ahead and I'll fire...

*a bus passes by, temporarily obscuring their view of me, and when it passes I have disappeared*

BITCOIN ASSASSIN: shit, where did he-

Me, having teleported right behind them: Heh... fifth one this week. If I'm not careful, Bloodedge might grow too powerful from your blood...

BITCOIN ASSASSIN: *whips out a secondary pistol and fires at me wildly* Die, bastard!

Me: *casually deflects the bullets with my evil sword Bloodedge* well, not like you'd make much of a meal...

*screen cuts to peter griffin at the dining table trying to eat sixteen cheeseburgers at once*

*credits roll as laughtrack plays*

#swag mode #beast unleashed #bossing it #someone change my diaper please

yo, dell!

kid named dell: yee-hoo!!!!

get it 😂😂😂😂😂

#can you tell the meds are kicking in #im freaking bossing it #holy cannoli

is it freaky to eat something you're allergic to cause your throat closes up... very erotic imo...

#I am currently on the way to a hospital #we are 30 minutes away #lol #lmao

alright guys, I've given up the bit of being a weirdo with no job. Instead, I am going to be a weirdo philosopher with no job...

#“if one looks at the sun they will often go blind.”#“Bugs are kindy icky unless you're cool and awesome in which case they're neat.”#“The only difference between 'dog food' and 'human food' is all the differences between them”#i could go on all day

As I'm getting ready to sleep, I leave a rather large spoon on the bed behind me.

THE EVER-PEERING ORB: bro what are you doing???

me: I'm leaving this out so the big spoon will come and comfort me at night

THE EVER-LISTENING SPIDER: yeah but that's like unsanitary

me: look it's a tradition alright?

THE JOYOUS LITTLE GOBLIN: heehee hoohoo I'm a joyous little goblin hahaha

everyone else, in unison: Oh, joyous little goblin, you silly guy

A sitcom laughtrack plays as the camera pans away, revealing the joyous little goblin is now eating a full block of cheese like his life depends on it, then credits roll.

#the joyous little goblin #has not left my room #in seven years #poop style swag mode

One must wonder. If the pean in the "pean its" is the penis, then what is the its? Would it imply the existence of an equivalent yet non-vaginal "other" part that balances out the equation? Or is it perhaps the vaginal form, in an "its" appearance? I wonder, perhaps the real pean was the its?

#beast mode #swag #owned #meow

*it is a dark and stormy night, and I am under the bed like a small, frightened dog.*

harem member #1: oh no sweetums are you scared of the storm

me: u-uh... n-n-not at all!!!! >w<

harem member #2: it's ok, we're here for you.

harem member #3 is currently holding up the rope keeping the comically large anvil up in the air right above where I would exit from

harem member #4: yeah, just come out here so that we can cheer you up!

#this is so me #me when I am about to die a horrific death #swag boss mode beast unleashed #squabinga

sometimes I forget people can't hear my thoughts so I'll just be thinking something really hard at someone and then get upset when they don't react to me beaming my thoughts at them

#oopsie #honestly that's on them #they should just #have mind powers #like me

Heh... you were a good foe... *I wipe a bit of blood dripping from my mouth due to severe internal injuries as I turn to face away from my victim.* Well, one down, seventeen left to vanquish... *I walk away as the sun comes up, shedding light on the dead body of a naked cowboy, laid to rest just outside his ancestral home of the Showers at Ram Ranch.*

#your mother #happened to know #the cowboys #very well

flameburst97

hate seeing posts come across my dash that go like "back in my day we used our ancient cursed artifacts for everything and it worked just fine" like bitch. do you even realize how much damage the environent suffers when you don't let it reclaim the corpses of the fallen? i dont care if you massacred the elders of the black wolf clan five centuries past and sentenced their souls to eternal torment, science has moved on. your stupid malevolent blade will hunger for flesh no matter how dedicated you are to sating it. planting a garden over the bodies of the fools who dared challenge your might gives back to the land and maintains balance in the world

bstuiped

try being swaggier

cock? or bals?

your mother likes both of mine so I don't really have a preference

ugh, kids these days. Don't even know how to hide a body! You know, back in my day, you'd feed your sentient evil artifact sword the body and that was that - mine was called Bloodedge by the way - but nowadays they do stupid crap like burying their victims or whatever. Pshah, they've grown too soft. Perhaps I need to show them why the Black Wolf Cult dares not speak my name...

#I love Bloodedge dearly #it's like a life partner to me #so is your mom though

Am I trans?

humph... listen well, kiddo, because I'm only going to say it once... *mumbles about kids these days* alright... here's the thing, you can be... whatever you want...

*slices the air with Bloodedge and a rift in reality opens up, which I step through and it disappears mysteriously.*

#I am currently #stabbing Bloodedge #into your mom

r u transgender tho

heh... you must be one of the Black Wolf Cult's assassins... otherwise, there's no reason you would ask me this... when will you fools learn that you can't defeat me... *takes out my sword Bloodedge for a split second and then sheathes it back but as I do you turn into a red mist from being cut into a bazillion tiny pieces*

#I also sheathe #my other sword #in your mother #and by that I mean #my peanorts

gallium-31

mom says i have to call off the fuckn dog tariffs. what the fuck. this is a sad day for anyone who hates my dog

bstuiped

fuck... shit... thius fuckeing scuks...

u trans ???

dude if I was a transformer I would probably be a decepticon and my vehicle form would probably be like your mom's car cause she rides me so often

#owned #transformers #your mom

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