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Lust and Limerence Pt. 6

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Series: Slytherin! JJK x Reader x Gryffindor! KTH

Word count: 5.5 k

Genre: more angst and explanations this chapter! // Harry Potter AU!

A/N: I had to change some of the dates in order for the story to make sense! Part 6 starts as a continuation from part 3. (The umbrella and porch scene). I’m sorry I took so long to update! As always, I’m looking forward to your reactions :)

“I’m sorry Jungkook, I honestly don’t know who you are.”

It appeared as though he flinched from your words; his tight grip on the umbrella handle loosening. Jungkook looked so vulnerable in front of you. His hair was now damp from the snowflakes that melted into the noir strands of his head. You watched him chew on his bottom lip before he attempted to compose himself.

“Okay,” he whispered simply. You couldn’t tell if he’d given up on what he had originally planned because he looked so defeated, unable to spare you another glance the entire walk home.

The walk home was silent, and it wasn’t the good kind. It was the suffocating and intense kind of silence that made you want to run away. By the time you reached the door, Jungkook’s left shoulder was wet from the melted snow as he’d tipped the umbrella to your side the entire time.

The realisation painted a thin line across your lips at his kindness, unsure of what to think since... he was someone you were supposedly unfamiliar with. Jungkook stood there with a forced smile, a small dimple appearing on his left cheek as he waited for you to go inside.

You turned the doorknob to enter but you felt like you had to say something-- do something. Somehow, something inside you was stopping you from leaving him like that, in that state, to walk back alone in the freezing cold. He caught your footsteps falter and watched as you hesitantly turned back to him.

“Thanks for walking me home,” you said and he could barely make sense of the shy mumble. “And I’m sorry that... I don’t...”

“It’s fine,” he intercepted, a shy yet pained smile on his pink lips. ”I promise I’m not just a random guy insisting that I know you without reason. You should ask Taehyung if you’re curious about...” His gaze drifted elsewhere before landing on his own shoes.

“About us?” you finished his sentence and saw him nod meekly in the corner of your eye.

“I just think it’s strange that he’s transferring here after exams. There’s nothing left to do besides... graduate,” the girl whispered to her friend. “Do you think there’s another reason as to why he’s here again? Not like I’m complaining though, I’ve missed staring at his face,” she giggled.

“Maybe he’s here for someone,” her friend muttered under her breath and you walked faster to keep up with their conversation, maintaining a speedy pace behind the two girls. You kept your gaze low and pretended to look completely occupied by your book.

“Surely not,” she scoffed. “Didn’t you know they broke up ages ago? Apparently, he dumped (Y/N) and that’s why she’s pretending like she doesn’t know him or something. Talk about petty am I right?”

And suddenly, your steps felt heavy. You were certain Taehyung was hiding something from you. And it definitely had something to do with Jungkook. Initially, you thought he was crazy for implying that you and Jungkook had history when you’d never met him before. But now, you were going crazy from becoming finally convinced that perhaps, he had something to do with you in the past.

But how can that be? I’d never met him before until that day he showed up randomly and titled himself as my boyfriend.

“Oh my god!” the girls in front of you squealed, causing you to whip your head in the same general direction as them. You spotted a crowd of people, all chatting up this unknown figure in the middle. The girls practically threw themselves at him and you watched his tall figure waver from the tightening circle of girls and guys around him, his noir hair dancing in time with their loud laughter.

He turned around and you felt your mouth drop open in pure shock, coincidence, whatever nerve-wrecking emotion you felt. He locked eyes with you for a split second before you threw yourself to hide behind a wall. So he really wasn’t joking about coming back to Hogwarts.

And for some strange and unexplainable reason, for the next couple of days, you found yourself avoiding him at all cost; taking longer routes to get to class or leaving earlier just in case you ran into him. It wasn’t like the professors cared anyways, everyone was just waiting to graduate.

Taehyung, strangely enough, wasn’t a fan of you avoiding Jungkook despite not talking to you about him at all. But he wasn’t encouraging you to confront him either. He just seemed to ignore Jungkook as a whole. You couldn’t figure out why you were being the way you were. Perhaps it was the rumors of the two of you together previously that finally got to you.

But it wasn’t exactly the easiest of tasks to ignore someone as persistent or dare to say, good-looking as Jeon Jungkook. You didn’t blame the girls at all for their attempts at getting to know him better.

The weekend was truly the best because firstly, you could sleep in till the sun was high in the sky and secondly, there was no school -- meaning that your heart wouldn’t pound so hard from the thought of having to interact with Jungkook. You hadn’t noticed how deep in thought you were until you found the corner of your book creased from the way your fingers played with the pages.

He wasn’t even that bad. In fact, he wasn’t bad at all. Well, besides from the first time when he punched Tae and claimed to be your boyfriend despite having never met him before. You couldn’t pinpoint an impression of him no matter how hard you tried.

You wanted to disregard him entirely; ignore his whole presence but even though you were completely and peacefully alone, trapped in your thoughts, he would be circulating in the confining space of your mind. You wanted to think that he was just a random and overly-confident asshole but that day in the snow, how charmingly kind he was, how disappointed he looked when you told him you didn’t know him -- you couldn’t just ignore all of it.

There was no point in reading if the sentences weren’t being painted correctly inside your head. With a heavy exhale, you lift yourself up from your bed, deciding to clean out your drawers.

You knew that cleaning out your drawers didn’t equate to cleansing your mind, but it certainly seemed to have the effect. You shifted through the different textures of fabric, mindlessly folding when you heard your door creak open, followed by a gentle shuffle of feet.

“Did you bring the drugs?” you said, monotone. There was silence and you quickly turned around to analyse Taehyung’s shocked expression - jaw dropped and eyebrows furrowed at your bewildering question.

You laughed uncontrollably at his expression. It truly was priceless; definitely worth taking the picture to later print out and laugh at. Taehyung shook his head in disapproval, tsking as he sat down close to you on the floor, placing the warm food on your lap.

You mumbled a small thanks and relocated the meal onto your desk side, continuing to fold clothes whilst Tae watched you closely.

The awkward silence proved that he definitely had something to say. “So?” you provoked. “What is it that you want to tell me?”

Taehyung wasn’t surprised at your ability to read him; the two of you did grow up together. He normally never hid anything from you... this was the first time that he’d look like he was holding something back.

The 3 words he had in his mind was so blatant, so simple, so important and yet, it was just so difficult to articulate; his mouth wide open as the words were stuck in the dark depth of his throat.

“Are you going to finish that?” he pointed at the takeout on the desk, eyes averted to concentrate on the plastic bag that fogged from the steam of the warm food.

You let out a light chuckle, a little relieved at his question. You weren’t sure what he was thinking of with such a serious expression on his face; it was unusual for you to not know what he was thinking so it was, undoubtedly, intimidating. “Tae, you’re free to have some.”

Time always felt quicker having Taehyung around. His presence alone was enough to make you giddy and just happy overall. You seemed to have the same effect on him, too, the two of you sharing the brightest of smiles as he listed you everything wrong with artificial grass.

“No, but seriously, who would want to vacuum their lawn? I’d rather mow it, you know? Surely you agree with me, (Y/N).”

You froze in place, not at his question, but at something so obscure you found in the corner of your bottom clothes drawer.

“You can’t be serious! Is my best friend even my best friend if she prefers fake grass over normal grass?”

You slowly turned around to greet him with a perplexed expression, the green accented fabric soft on your palms. Taehyung looked at your confused state, his gaze widening slightly at the scarf in your hands.

“What is this?” you asked, a small shrug of your shoulders.

Tae appeared at a loss for words, a white blank washing over his suddenly dazed mind. He licked his lips before muttering under his breath, “Where did you get that?”

“I don’t know,” you answered simply. “I’ve never seen this before in my life and... I don’t recall having any Slytherin friends,” you mumbled, attempting to piece together the possible scenarios inside your head.

“Maybe it’s your roommate’s? I’m sure she just misplaced it accidentally in your drawers.”

“I don’t think so... she’s not the careless type.” Your eyebrows furrowed from the sudden light that flickered inside your head. “I have a weird feeling that this belongs to someone you know, Tae.”

“What do you mean?” Taehyung narrowed his gaze, a frown-like expression appearing on his face.

“I know you’re hiding something from me,” you said in a monotone voice. “I’ve been brushing it off because every time I try and mention it, you get really defensive. But I can’t ignore it forever. Plus, I’m genuinely curious about what happened between you and him.”

“Who exactly are you referring to?” Taehyung gulped and you rolled your eyes at him, your arms folding themselves over your chest in annoyance.

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” you scoffed, “because if you play dumb, it’s just going to piss me off and you know it.”

Taehyung didn’t have anything witty to say back to that-- in fact, he didn’t have anything to say back so he simply exhaled, a long and stress-filled sigh. You waited for him to continue, a single eyebrow raised at his lack of articulation. “Who really is Jeon Jungkook and what is your relationship with him? Heck, what’s my relationship with him?”

Taehyung straightened his back, running his long fingers through his hair before sighing again. You were surprised at his sudden change in demeanor. He seemed to perfectly happy before the mention of Jeon Jungkook-- which lead you to think: why does he hate him so much? What could’ve possibly happened between them to make Tae despise him so much? And how in the world were you not informed of Jungkook? Taehyung was your best friend. He told you everything!

“I can only say so much,” Taehyung exhaled. “I can’t tell you the whole story because that’d be unfair. If you’re still curious after everything I’m about to tell you, you can go confront him personally about it.”

“Finally,” you sighed with relief. You were finally going to put an end to your countless nights of thinking. At first, you thought you were going crazy. But after piecing together some of the things you’d been hearing around Hogwarts, you were starting to think that you’d met him somewhere previously-- you just didn’t remember when-- or anything to do with him.

“Jungkook and I used to be friends,” Taehyung started. “We met early on at the beginning of Hogwarts. I didn’t tell you about him because you weren’t interested in mingling with his type of people.”

“I figured that he used to attend Hogwarts but I don’t understand how I’ve never seen him around. From the looks of it, he’s pretty popular too, so he’s definitely been here for some time. I just don’t get how I can’t recall hearing anything about him or seeing him around at all,” you explained, the frown on your face disappearing as you explained these thoughts to Taehyung. “Have I been living under a rock this whole time or am I just going crazy?”

“You and Jungkook used to date,” Taehyung said, emotionless.

You squinted your eyes at his statement. You didn’t believe it when you heard it from the other girls but since it was coming out of Tae’s mouth, it was hard to not digest. “I swear to God if this is some kind of sick joke,” you shook your head, the half of your cheek pulled into a dissatisfied smirk.

“It’s not a joke. The two of you used to date but then he messed up so you broke up with him” Taehyung explained so casually without proper reasoning that it was a little annoying to listen to. How could he be so calm in this situation? Was he listening to the things he was saying to you? Was he even sane?

“Okay, what the actual fuck,” you waved your hands out in front of you, eyes wide at the bombardment of the truth you’d been waiting for. “You can’t be serious, Taehyung,” you chuckled in disbelief. “If I dated him, I’d definitely know who he is. I swear I’d never met him before until that day you got punched.”

“The reason why you can’t recall who Jungkook is, is because he fucked up majorly when the two of you were dating so you voluntarily erased him from your memory.”

“Woah woah woah!” you exclaimed. “Tae you need to slow down. Are you even listening to what you’re saying?”

“I know it sounds crazy and you probably think that I’m crazy but... you are holding physical evidence of your past with him,” Taehyung eyed the scarf in your palms that were suddenly sweaty from the overload of unbelievable information.

“If, by any wild chance that what you’re saying to me is true, what exactly did he do for me to hate him so much to a point I erased him from my own memory?”

“That’s the part I’m unwilling to answer. I don’t think I should say anything because--” Taehyung chewed on his bottom lip, an uneasy expression on his face.

“Because?” you continued, both eyebrows raised, urging him to go on.

“I don’t know what else might slip out of my mouth,” Taehyung said with a sigh, his head dropping past his shoulders in defeat. He was scared of this topic. He’d been avoiding it for so long now, each night praying to the high heavens that perhaps you’d just let it slip-- perhaps Jungkook wouldn’t come back for you but, he really was as persistent as he remembered.

“What else is there, Tae? Why have you been hiding this from me this whole time? I thought you were my best friend. I never keep anything from you and-- I... I thought you felt the same way about me.”

“I do!” Taehyung exclaimed loudly, his upper body jolting from the loud exclamation. “I really do... it’s just... I don’t want to risk anything. I’m sorry that I can’t give you the answers that you’re looking for but I want you to know that... I do trust you.”

“How can you expect me to believe you if I know there’s more to this? And I have a feeling it’s not just about Jungkook. What else are you hiding from me, Taehyung?”

Trying to keep quiet about his feelings had always been a tough game to play, not to mention the high-tier risk he was taking. He was constantly on edge, forced to peel his habit of overanalysing away from any signals that he deemed romantic from you because although he knew that you loved him, what he felt for you was beyond that. It was becoming harder to conceal that fact and you seemed to pick up on it rather easily.

You couldn’t help but sound annoyed, even though you knew that none of this was his fault. It was the built-up stress that was finally steaming off your skin and unluckily, but not surprisingly, Tae just happened to be the person to deal with it.

“(Y/N), some things that are just better off left unknown. I haven’t told you anything because I don’t want you to get hurt,” Taehyung explained weakly, the tone of his voice softer than before.

“I deserve to know. You know that I’m stubborn. I don’t back down easily so you might as well give up and tell me everything there is. Even if it hurts me -- I need to know what happened. Please just tell me,” you begged, unconsciously fiddling with the scarf on your lap.

You learned the hard way that your stubbornness was no match for the hard-headed Kim Taehyung. When he said that he was unwilling to answer, he meant every part of it. No matter how long you tried to get him to spill, he simply had no intention of doing so.

This lead you to finally approach the person you’d been dreading to interact with. You still couldn’t figure out why you were so nervous at the thought of having to talk to him, he really wasn’t even that bad. In fact, he was terribly sweet to you last time but then why were your palms so undeniably clammy?

It wasn’t hard to get his attention-- mainly because Jungkook was always on the look-out for you, despite you ignoring him like crazy. So when you asked to talk to him privately, you noticed the clear juxtaposition of the facial expressions of the girls that surrounded him and your so-called ‘boyfriend’ Jungkook. The girls glared you down with jealous frowns whilst Jungkook’s eyes lit up, the galaxy in his eyes.

He had an immediate boyish grin play across his lips, unable to hide his happiness from your request to talk to him. You brought him to a random corner, hidden from the rest of the whispering girls.

“(Y/N),” he muttered breathlessly with a twinkle in his eyes that smiled. “How are you?”

“Let’s skip the small talk, Jeon,” you crossed your arms over your chest defensively. “What really happened between you and me?”

The twinkle in his eye faded at the sight of your frown and defensive body language. “I think you should ask Taehyung that. There’s no point in me saying anything if you’re unwilling to listen since you think I’m crazy.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy... well, at least not anymore. I heard from Tae that we,” you couldn’t help but graze your bottom lip with your teeth, “that we used to date.”

You expected him to react but he didn’t. He remained still, a blank expression as he analysed your facial features with a glint of sadness in his eyes. “I normally wouldn’t believe it-- even if it did come from Taehyung, I’d need some kind of evidence.”

“So what changed your mind?”

You pulled out the green-accented scarf from your bag, giving it to him so he could examine it. He took it from your palms, slowly. You could feel the hesitation buzz from his honey skin.

“It’s yours, isn’t it?”

Jungkook merely stared at the fabric in his hands before nodding slowly, confirmation that you definitely had a past with him. “Why do I have it?” you provoked.

“I asked you to come watch me at Quidditch training that morning,” Jungkook’s smile grew soft from recalling the warm memory. “I was surprised you agreed but to be fair, I did a fair lot of begging.”

You just stared at him with confusion, absolutely no recall of what scenario he was referring to. He seemed to notice this and the smile on his lips faded. “You don’t remember... do you?” You simply shook your head, no.

“You were bundled up in my jacket as well and even still, you said it was too cold so I wrapped this around your neck. It covered most of your face but I knew the kind of smile hidden behind that scarf from the way your eyes crinkled.”

Nothing seemed to want to pass your lips. The silence felt so loud-- as though the lack of sound was as intense as yelling at the top of your lungs. What were you supposed to feel? You couldn’t answer that for yourself but, why was there a stinging pain in your chest?

“What else did you want to ask me?”

“What happened between you and Taehyung? Why did you punch him the first day I met you?”

Jungkook hesitated to correct you, frozen in place as he struggled to yell out, “that wasn’t the first day we met! We used to fucking date and I made a mistake and I just want you back but I can’t because you don’t remember me!” but instead, he inhaled a large breath before replying like he wanted to. “Did Tae tell you that we used to date?” You nodded.

“Yes, we used to date. In fact, when you ‘met me for the first time’ I thought we were still together because you never broke up with me... that’s why I was so insistent but I probably just seemed crazy to you.”

“You did, really,” you admitted. “I was honestly so confused as to why you were titling yourself as my boyfriend.”

“Well, I was really confused about why you were acting like you didn’t know me,” Jungkook retorted. “We used to be really close you know.”

“How close are we talking?”

“I spent the Christmas holidays with you under one roof, just the two of us.”

“Holy shit, we did that?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook chuckled, “it was actually you who invited me to do so. ”

“Wow, I must’ve been pretty whipped for you.”

“So was I,” he sounded soft, “and I still am. It just sucks because...”

“I don’t remember anything Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you grew soft with pity at the sight of Jungkook’s weak expression.

“Don’t be sorry. Remember, you voluntarily chose to forget about me,” he smiled painfully. “This is also the part that Taehyung comes in.”

“That’s the part I’m lost about. What could’ve possibly happened for me to want to forget about you?”

“Since the beginning, Taehyung told me you were ‘off-limits’. He never really justified why but because we were close, I never questioned him or at least-- I chose to stay quiet even though I knew why he was so protective of you. But basically, he lost a bet one day and hence our first proper interaction.”

“Why am I considered ‘off-limits’?” You furrowed your eyebrows. “He wouldn’t possibly--”

“That’s for Taehyung to answer. But for now, all you need to know is that he was only trying to protect you from someone like me.”

“There’s no way Taehyung would--” You chuckled to yourself, taken-aback by the foreign concept of Tae having feelings for you.

Jungkook ignored your minor outburst and continued with his wordy explanation. “Taehyung... he wanted you to keep your distance from me because I used to be the prime example of what you would call a fuck-up,” Jungkook chuckled, the cold air freezing the exhale of his breath.

You bit harshly on your bottom lip to prevent yourself from interrupting. “I erased myself from my family’s memory because I thought it was temporary,” Jungkook mumbled to himself. “But it wasn’t temporary... I didn’t know how to reverse the spell so I avoided my problems and distracted myself by drinking and sleeping around. Taehyung obviously didn’t want you to associate yourself with me.”

“But we became close anyways. You found out about my past and instead of being disgusted, you chose to stay by my side,” Jungkook’s gaze turned determined and weirdly enough, you weren’t uncomfortable staring back at it. “I... I wasn’t used to people sticking around when things got tough so... the fact that you did really meant a lot.”

Jungkook stepped an inch closer, alarming you of just how tall he was in comparison to yourself. “Naturally, I became attached to you. We started going out after the rumours leaked since you were able to accept all of me unlike the majority of Hogwarts. We were dating happily for some time until I had to move to Ilvermorny. We long distanced... but then... out of the blue one day you came to visit me and at the time I...”

“What?” you urged him to continue, blinking quickly at him. “What happened?”

“I was kissing someone when you walked in to surprise me,” Jungkook muttered, the words causing a small sting in your chest. “In simple words,” Jungkook inhaled a deep breath, “I cheated on you.”

Your eyes immediately became squinted seconds after processing his statement. “Wow,” you scoffed, letting Jungkook drown in the intense silence that followed up. “Look, I might not know anything about you but... I didn’t pin you to be that type of guy.”

“I’m not--” Jungkook attempted to interrupt.

“You cheated on me? After I stayed by your side when no one did?” you shook your head in distrust.

“I had a reason, I swear,” Jungkook pleaded, inching closer as you subconsciously stepped back. “I know it definitely wasn’t the smartest choice but-- the girl said she’d brew me something that could get my parent’s memories back and I was desperate.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed, “desperate enough to cheat on your girlfriend.”

“(Y/N) you would’ve understood if you were notified of the reasoning behind it,” Jungkook spoke quicker than usual. “You misunderstood and thought that I was blatantly cheating on you without a reason. I wrote you so many letters after that but Taehyung hid them from you, saying that he had enough of me destroying your life.”

“Taehyung came to see me after you caught me with that girl. He offered me something that seemed too good to be true. He said that if I promised to stay away from you until the final exams were over, he’d brew me a similar potion. At the time, I thought it made sense because not only would I be getting my family’s memories back, it’d give you time to cool off. So I accepted his proposal, unaware of the catch since he never mentioned one.”

“What was the catch?” you muttered.

“You,” Jungkook said. “In order for Tae’s potion to work, there had to be a sacrifice of equal value. You voluntarily gave up your memories of me so that I could get my family’s. Even though you caught me cheating, you were kind enough to help me. But it meant that I lost you.”

Jungkook stared at his shoes as the two of you remained completely silent. “If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t take the deal Taehyung proposed. You were the one thing that I wasn’t willing to let go to get my family’s memories back and that’s why I punched him-- be it out of anger or frustration, involving you was a dog move.”

“I guess past me wanted you to let go,” you spoke, voice and hands shaky. “I wouldn’t blame her, Jungkook. What you did was cruel. I obviously loved you enough to stay with you despite everything that happened and you cheated on me. I think even past me, who loved you dearly, would have a hard time forgiving you even if she knew the reason behind why you did it.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook whispered.

“Your apology won’t fix anything,” you muttered under your breath, the heat of your cheeks caused you to clench your fists tightly. “No wonder I wanted to forget about you. You hurt me, Jungkook.”

The disappointment on your face seemed to paint a painful expression on his, his eyes drooping down to your shoes once again before he slowly met your gaze with a weak nod, muttering out another one of his breathy apologies. “I had no intention of hurting you, (Y/N). I really am... sorry,” he explained in a soft voice, regret interlaced through every letter.

You let out a sigh and Jungkook watched the icy air freeze the exhale of your warm breath, tempted to wrap the scarf around your neck like he did before -- before when things were perfect; the halcyon days when feelings were mutual and he could show his love for you. There was nothing he wanted more than to hold you in his arms again, as cheesy as that sounded to him, he wanted to relive the past.

Taehyung looked like he saw a ghost from the sight of you in his room, stomach flat on his bed with a book in your grasp. He wasn’t expecting to see you so soon, let alone, so comfortable. Weren’t you supposed to be panicking over the stuff Jungkook had just told you?

“Welcome back,” you said. Tae laid down next to you, his back greeting the warmth of his blankets. “What are you doing here?” Taehyung chuckled.

“I got tired of thinking in my room,” you explained, resting your chin on your palm whilst scanning the words, “so instead I’m here, distracting myself.”

“Did you find out about what happened?”

There was a heavy silence that swept across the room until you closed your book loudly, startling the chocolate haired boy. “Why did you hide his letters from me?” you asked boldly, mentally taking note of the way his eyes widened at your question.

“Are you mad?” Taehyung slowly sat up, looking over his shoulder to stare into your hard-to-read gaze. You shook your head, no. “I’m not. I just want to know why you did it.”

“I did it to protect you,” Taehyung said simply. “If you read those letters, I knew you would’ve forgiven him. You were far too attached to someone who didn’t deserve you.”

“So essentially,” you sat up on the bed, comfortably crossing your legs, “you wanted to break us up.”

Taehyung thought for some time before nodding his head, the dim lighting reflecting off his shiny hair. “As I said, Jungkook didn’t deserve you. You were really unwilling to let go of him despite the damage he dealt so I thought-- you know what, fuck it. If I had to play the bad guy in order for you to move on, I was willing to do it. And so I did,” Taehyung’s dark hazel eyes stared into yours.

“Was there any other reason behind it?”

You noticed him take a gulp before averting his gaze to anywhere that wasn’t your piercingly sweet gaze. He turned around so that you’d have nothing to stare at besides the back of his head. “I only wanted to protect you,” Taehyung lied.

“Not to make things weird, Tae,” you coughed, “But I’ve noticed that you’re really protective of me.”

He began to get more nervous from your small insinuations. “That’s because I care about you, (Y/N),” he let out a dry sound that hinted at the knot of nerves in the pit of his stomach. “I’ve always been like a big brother to you since we were children.”

The way he was acting formed a weird lump in your throat. Maybe what Jungkook was implying had some truth behind it. “Taehyung,” you shuffled off the bed and stood in front of him so you could stare directly into his eyes. “Is there something else you’re not telling me? Perhaps something that’s related to... your feelings about...”

He licked his lips and took a sharp breath of air, only to reply with the same 3 words stuck in his throat. You waited patiently for him to continue, even though inside you felt extremely overwhelmed. You could only hear the drumming and unforgiving pace of your heart as you waited for any word to escape his lips.

Over the years of sharing everything with you, he wanted to share one more thing, that thing being the feelings he’d hidden since the start of time. He felt selfish for having those feelings... why though? Taehyung always thought that if he ever did confess, he’d feel relieved after it. Even if you didn’t feel the same way, he thought that he’d feel the weight on his shoulders magically lift.

“No.”

It was a whisper and it was barely audible. The words came out and he wanted to reverse time the very second it left his lips but instead, he kept going. “There’s nothing else I need to tell you.”

Taehyung absolutely hated the bitter taste on his tongue. It was the taste of surrender. He couldn’t bring himself to say it because he lost to the undying guilt that’d consumed him. He felt truly weak.

The competition never seemed to end.

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