I don’t actually care if someone thinks this is derailing because it’s important.
This applies to all genders on both sides. Teen boys often get left out of these posts, but they are also preyed upon like this, by men and women and also people who are neither because no one is incapable of being a predator. This post shouldn’t be gendered. You can say it happens to girls more, and it could be true. But it happens to boys and they are less likely to talk about it when they get hurt. Less likely to get support if they do, especially if the older person was a woman. I don’t think we have an accurate statistic on how often it happens to boys because of this.
But regardless. Don’t you think they should be told how to stay safe too?
One of my coworkers told me about a good friend of his, a guy that ‘had a thing’ with an older woman in her mid-twenties that started when he was about fifteen. He talked about how their friend group thought it was cool, how they were a little jealous of him. She was pretty and interested, which is any fifteen year old boy’s dream.
The older they got, though, the weirder it got. She got pregnant by this kid when he was still seventeen. Thankfully he went to the authorities and got custody of the baby when he was an adult, but my coworker kind of laughed it off as kids being stupid. I think he thought I would just dismiss it, which is heartbreaking.
I asked him if it would have been okay if it was a fifteen year old female friend and a twenty five year old guy. He immediately replied that it would NOT have been okay, he and his friends would have beaten the guy up.
The dissonance is real, guys. There’s a kid who was groomed at fifteen and a single dad at nineteen because his friends and family only gave this message to girls. This message matters to everyone- no matter your gender, no matter the gender of the other person- if you are a child and an adult is ‘interested’ in you, RUN AWAY. They don’t have your best interests at heart, and that’s not love at all.
This is an ancient tactic to handwave feminism in all forms since the beginning of time. "I wont take this feminism stuff seriously until a man tells me how it is." What makes this exceptionally transmysoginistic is that trans women are expected to engage with this criticism like its actually about inclusivity, and not just boring ass regular laughed-out-of-the-room misogyny.
We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives.
Raise. Awareness.
For the uninformed, vaginismus is when the vagina painfully tightens and spasms when faced with pressure, usually from anything trying to insert into the vagina. It’s the reason I can’t wear tampons, and why many people can’t have vaginal sex without severe pain.
There’s not a lot of treatments, and there isn’t a single one that is for vaginismus exclusively - they’re all medications or treatments to treat symptoms, but not the causes. In fact, for a long time doctors waved off vaginismus as a purely psychological disorder in cis women.
Seriously, this is so unaddressed and uncared for in medical circles. Please spread awareness, even if all it’s for is to let those who have it but don’t have a name for it finally be able to understand what’s happening to their bodies.
Hi hello! This post is almost 10 years old and there ARE treatments for this. Vaginismus is otherwise known as pelvic hypertonia and it is a MUSCULAR condition that can be caused by many different factors including endometriosis, trauma, chronic UTIs, and connective tissue disorders.
It’s incredibly common! And it can be treated by physiotherapy.
I know this because I’m currently undergoing physio and although it can take months to recover, I’m already seeing improvement. A lot of the pelvic floor exercises are available online, but if you have these symptoms please TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR and see if you can get a physio referral (or investigation for underlying causes like endometriosis).
Also, my additions to posts never get reblogged so a note to my followers: this is SUPER IMPORTANT ISSUE that affects many people and is rarely talked about. Please reblog, and please share this info with as many people as possible.
Pelvic hypertonia/vaginismus is incredibly debilitating and psychologically damaging but it CAN BE TREATED. Spread the word, and you never know who you’ll be throwing a lifeline to.
pip: you’re not the best because you found it. you’re the best because you kept looking. whether or not you found it isn’t up to you; it’s the fact that you tried.
me: you’re like reverse yoda
pip: I’M LIKE REVERSE YODA!!!!! THE REVERSE YODA WHO KILLS THE REAL YODA WITH HAMMERS!!!!
me: the reverse yoda and the vetinari of being nice to dogs
if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain
I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with
But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy
In June of 1902, Rachel's former roommate Peggy (one of the "two Margarets") wrote Will from Pasadena, California where her family had recently relocated. Mart (the other Margaret) was visiting and the two of them had taken up a new hobby.
"We have taken to playing Ping Pong lately. Have you tried it? We play every evening until after eleven o'clock. Sometimes it is too much of a good thing." - Peggy to Will, June 1, 1902.
Joining Peggy and Mart in their new hobby was - well, pretty much the entire world...
After the introduction of lawn tennis (now just called tennis) in the 1870s created a worldwide phenomenon, it was perhaps inevitable that someone would move the sport indoors.
A handful of mentions of various games called “table tennis” or “parlor tennis” appear throughout the 1880s, often with rules that bear no resemblance to outdoor tennis. Several related patents were filed in England in the 1880s and early 90s, but none that seem to have resulted in mass production.
The earliest modern table tennis set was marketed under the name “Gossima” by J. Jacques & Son Ltd of London, beginning in 1891.
(source: The Graphic, December 10, 1898.)
A Gossima set included two vellum rackets, a covered cork ball and a foot high net that could be secured to any standard dining table with a strap.
Though I’ve found records of Gossima being marketed as far away as Pakistan and New Zealand, it seems to have met with limited success until the Fall of 1900 when it suddenly exploded in popularity among London’s elite under a new name - ping pong. This (both the sudden success and the new name) were likely due in part to the introduction of the celluloid ping pong ball we know today, which far outperformed the previous cork design.
In September 1900, the Pall Mall Gazette published an article (actually a stealth ad for Hamleys toy store) discussing the new fad and giving tips for players. The article was also picked up by overseas press and printed in several newspapers in the US and Canada (minus the Hamleys plug), spreading the first whispers of the game abroad.
By January of 1901 the fad had become near ubiquitous in London. The Evening News wrote ““Ping Pong” is the only game that may be mentioned, let alone played, in London drawing rooms. Everybody Ping Pongs, or watches other people Ping Pong, from the Dutchess in Belgravia down to the clerk in Forest Gate.”
(An improvised ping pong table set up by servants as portrayed in Punch magazine, November 13, 1901.)
The (London) Morning Leader wrote in March - “Gentle reader “Do you Ping Pong”? If you don't you're not an up-to-date person. It is as fashionable as mourning or the Twopenny Tube, and far more the rage than bridge.”
By May, Hamleys was selling folding ping pong tables and special sets for tournaments.
Throughout 1901, ping pong continued to grow in popularity across the British Empire and beyond. By this point the name “Ping Pong” had been trademarked in both England (by Hamleys and J. Jacques & Son Ltd.) and the US (by the Parker Bros.), forcing competitors to sell under various names including: Whiff Waff, Pom-Pom, Pim-Pam and Netto. “Table Tennis” or “Parlor Tennis” would remain the most common generic terms.
One London firm claimed to have sold one million ping pong sets in the last three months of 1901.
The US would not fully fall to the ping pong craze until 1902, and newspapers reported the spread of the game as you would an encroaching pandemic.
“[It] is becoming more infectious than smallpox and as catching as golf.” The Boston Globe warned in December 1901.
“If it were a plague, ping-pong could not be sweeping more widely over the face of the earth. In Mexico, in India, in Japan - everywhere - the ping-pong of the little xylonite ball is heard throughout the land…” - Harper’s Weekly, May 3, 1902.
(source: The Macon Telegraph, May 18, 1902.)
By May 1902 the ping pong pandemic had fully engulfed the US.
“For one not to know how to play ping pong means practically social ostracism.” - The Philadelphia Inquirer, May 18, 1902
Ping pong parties and luncheons abounded. Pubs and poolrooms quickly converted into public ping pong parlors. Countless clubs and tournaments were soon arranged.
Even senators and congressmen were asked their opinion of the game and, in one case, whether they would support opening a ping pong parlor at the Capitol Building.
In late May, Alice Roosevelt hosted a “ping pong tea and dance” aboard the presidential yacht.
(source: The Bradford Weekly Telegraph, April 19, 1902.)
Enterprising businessmen attached the name ping pong to articles of all imaginable varieties. Soda fountains served ping pong punch and ping pong ice cream.
Photographers introduced the ping pong photo - which produced a strip of multiple pictures using a sliding frame which “ping ponged” back and forth.
(A ping pong photo of Mart and Rachel, taken circa 1902.)
Clothing stores carried ping pong hats, ping pong ties, ping pong shirtwaists, ping pong slippers and ping pong belts (made of mesh to resemble the net), while fashion columns suggested appropriate ping pong attire.
(A dress with pockets designed to hold ping pong balls, from the New Orleans State, May 25, 1902.)
(source: The Memphis Commercial Appeal, May 25, 1902.)
Flexible ping pong corsets were developed after some female players found it difficult to play the game in their tight-laced undergarments. One article mused whether ping pong might bring an end to tight-lacing altogether.
(source: The Indianapolis News, May 27, 1902.)
Articles extolled the healthy virtues of ping pong for exercise and weight loss, while others warned of its dangers to your health. “Ping pong shoulder”, “ping pong ankle”, “ping pong wrist” and severe eye strain were all touted as possible outcomes of overzealous play.
Worries that public ping pong parlors would encourage gambling resulted in Providence, Rhode Island implementing a ping pong license.
The ping pong craze would last through the summer of 1902, but begin to wane by the end of the year. Some areas extended the fad through 1903, but by 1904 it was well and truly dead.
“There isn’t half enough thankfulness for the griefs of yesteryear that haunt us no more. Ping-pong has gone.” The St. Louis Globe-Democrat proclaimed on January 25, 1903.
While a syndicated column in February 1904 printed “Weep copiously, dear ones, for the ping pong fad is dead. After the obsequies, you may trade your outfit for a phonograph and annoy the neighbors.”
Over the next two decades dedicated clubs continued to hold tournaments, but the general public more or less moved on.
Until another ping pong craze broke out in the late 1920s and persisted throughout much of the Great Depression.
After several more crazes and a stint in global politics, table tennis became an Olympic sport in 1988.
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