Playing Adult

What's there say? This is just a jumble board of my thoughts and feelings when I have them or the mood strikes me to share them. Just a smorgasbord of whatever is in my head

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

"he is not my president" bumper sticker with a picture of some random guy that has never been president

[hollowboobtheory]

imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice

[ashstfu]

i was so angry at everything when i was 15. and i was right

[feel-like-expl0sions]

chasing cars by snow patrol really hits harder everytime i listen to it like,, what if i DID just lay here???? would u lie with me and just forget the world??????? please???????????

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?

Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. It’s still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.

Me: What kind of competition?

Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but I’ve never seen one.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: Okay so why shouldn’t I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?

Fairy: That’s mostly a regional thing but where I’m from it’s insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something that’s like calling them poor.

Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?

Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if I’m being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.

Me: Do you have Internet down there?

Fairy: Only dial-up. That’s why I come to your house.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: So you’re telling me that human men don’t think that frog eyes are sexy?

Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.

Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.

Me: Hey man you don’t have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.

Fairy: You really think so?

Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.

Fairy: Thanks, man. That means a lot.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: So humans... don’t eat glass?

Me: No? It’ll cut up our insides and kill us.

Fairy: Ooohhhh. Oh no.

Me: What did you do now?

Fairy: More like... what I’ve done over the past three centuries since I moved out of my mom’s house.

Me: Did the coughing up of blood not cue you into anything?!?!!

Fairy: I thought that humans just spontaneously die sometimes!

Me: No we don’t! There’s physical reasons for these things!

Fairy: So... no more bringing nightshade and glass entrees to the potluck?

Me: No!

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: So why mushrooms as portals?

Fairies: Look man, even we don’t mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and it’s just best to not question it.

Me: So wait. You don’t make the fairy circles?

Fairy: No. Mushrooms decide.

[animalcrossingmemes]

[toshio]

[intensional]

Your blog fails to make me smile :) I love you!

did you forget the word never or is this a hate message 

[doctorwhoincorrectquotes]

Rory: Would you consider us adorable?

11: No! We’re adult men.

11: We’re cute.

[maisonderriere]

[allisonpregler]

Honestly it didn’t make me truly laugh until Darth Vader came tootling tooting out and then I lost it.

[vmae]

WHAT IS THIS OH MY GOD

[silentsaebyeok-deactivated20200]

I’m just gonna add this:

[speciesbarocus]

Lambs carried by donkeys in special side-saddle as flocks of sheep move from pre-Alpine hills to summer pastures on Lombard plains.

> Photo by Elspeth Kinneir.

[annabellesacres]

Lamborghini

[taraljc]

Stop.

[bubblezombie]

[sirensorisons]

my friend is watching death note for the first time and this is what he had to say about light

[cozycullens]

2019 twilight AU where most of drama in eclipse happens via edward texting bella memes like this at 3am

[the-knights-who-say-book]

today my dad said “why do people binge watch entire seasons? it’s not like you’d get a book and read it in one night” so i’m not convinced he knows anything about what i do in my freetime

[dankmemeuniversity]

[gaelgarcia]

Your Daily Dose Of Jonas  February 2008 / February 2019

THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE BACK!