Monterey Bay Aquarium
we're not kids anymore.
Show & Tell
i don't do bad sauce passes
#extradirty
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
ojovivo
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Claire Keane
Game of Thrones Daily
Origami Around
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
ellievsbear
h
Mike Driver
hello vonnie
AnasAbdin
Xuebing Du
Kaledo Art
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@bubbly0409
Anxiety filled life…
Starting to see a trend about when I feel the need to post here. Summers are always hard. This year especially. I have a lot of work stress. I don’t love my job any longer. I may even be growing to hate it. I am having nightmares about it. I am trying to locate a new therapist. I have tried several. Either not a good fit, or they leave. Currently at the library. My back is gonna hurt tomorrow…
Pretend
I wish in some instances I could just play pretend. I want to walk into my room and pretend you are there. Have a conversation out loud with you. But it proves too painful as since there is no response and I can not physically feel your presence I cry instead. In my last post I talked about wanting to be hugged, held while I cry. I really want one last hug from you.
Hugs
The most difficult part of my life recently (like the last 9 years) has been the one having to care for a human and having no one care for me. I miss hugs, embraces, feeling wanted. There are times from 2016-2017 that I wish I could have back or experience again. But I will never get back. Guilt, grief, resentment… My life has not gotten better since 2021. I feel like I was promised something…
I feel like I am just getting deeper. Everything I have done, or have ignored is coming to haunt me. I never considered myself a bad person. I used to care so much about people. Now I feel less and less love. I feel less alive. I am “raising” a daughter and I know she is watching me but some of my behaviors and thoughts are results of her actions… so it makes me wonder are her actions due to poor…
Questions
Trauma and years of being let down have brought me to a point where I no longer wish to communicate. I have cried everyday. Everyday. I keep it in silence because what good is it out in the open when all that will happen is loss. I wish I never stopped writing. My mind does not seem to work the same. Is it like riding a bike? Will the talent I once had return? In college, I got A’s on every…
Past
I loved the words. Spoken, written, remembered. I miss your face. Holding it, kissing it, seeing it. I wanted you to know. How inspiring, empowering, you were. I can never forget. The feelings, the motivation.
To be loved
I never felt taken care of. Being allowed to live in someone’s house always came with a price. Prior to age 11 I lived with my mother mostly. She was sick, my whole life. So I lived with her and people fed, me clothed me but stuff was missing. Then at age 11 after she passed I went to live with “family”. Again, I was fed, clothed had chores. Normal teen stuff, but no one ever let anyone know they…
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Why Wellness?!
Wellness to me is an all around full body experience. I may be well in some areas of my life but not fully well because I am struggling with others. Right now my mental health is stable, yes I admitted I have a mental illness. Although my emotional wellness is good for the most part right now, my physical and financial wellness could use some work. I am here on this new blog of mine to…
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Back again…maybe
If I came on here to say that the last few years have been great and I have accomplished so much, I’d be lying. Fact is, I feel like I am at my lowest in a long long time. Which says a lot. My health has been crap since catching Covid in August 2022. My child has become a teen and there is a whole slew of other shit with that. Everyday, ew surprises that make me hate where I live more and more.…
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Getting on Track!
I apologize for not posting. I had a lot going on at work and home. I will explain more about WRAP and why I love it. WRAP- Wellness Recovery Action Plan and the Mental Health Study was founded/created by Mary Ellen Copeland of the Copeland Center. You can find out a lot more at http://thecopelandcenter.com The mental health study contains: 5 key concepts of recovery Hope, Personal…
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Long time, no see!
Long time, no see!
I am finally back to this blog. My hope is to start blogging a couple times a week because I have some big news. I have officially graduated with an associates of arts, majoring in social work. It has been a long three years and I am very proud, as well as relieved that it is over. So as I begin this journey again I plan to switch it up a little bit but I’m still gonna be real with everybody in…
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back on board
I really have not posted on here in so, so long. I am just so busy with school, work and life. Not that I have a social life, but adulting, ya know..? I have been doing a lot of Facebook live videos in a group I belong to on FB and it really has become my socialization. I made it a point yesterday to go to my old job and visit with friends because I just feel like I want people around. I have…
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Just need to write...
Just need to write…
I know I have not posted in a VERY long time. Life happened. However, tonight, I feel like I need to just vent. So many things happened today that HAve made me feel inadequate. I have dreams. Drams of making an impact. in a big way. I know that my work impacts people all the time. BUT I want something BIG! I see all these people that I can relate to, that have made their difference. I am or a…
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Writing and life ipdate
So, I guess I am back for a bit.
I am taking a writing class in school. Today we were asked, why we wrote, what we like to write. Things we need to improve upon and what our favorite paper this far is.
I haven’t been writing for pleasure because school takes all my writing energy. I really do prefer to write in my own time about whatever the heck I want.
This is supposed to be a wellness themed…
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Madeline
Years ago I said I planned to do a series of posts related to Hanson songs. I think I got one post done then things got crazy and I didn’t follow through. Sorry for that.
Past few months I have been coming across “Madeline” performances.
Out my window a memory And I’m dyin’ inside I know the way it should be Even though it was right in front of me It was something I just couldn’t see Your lonely…
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From Dean's List to D Student
From Dean’s List to D Student
Frustrations are setting in. I am in my second semester of college. Last semester went well. Basic English writing class, and a psychology class. Cool, even made dean’s list. This semester I have literature, which is fine and a level 1 math class that I am failing. It is a prereq for the actual class I need. If I cannot pass this class I will not get a degree. How is that possible. I don’t just…
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EmO
Let me start by saying, I don’t sleep much anymore. On top of that my body hurts so much. If I was wing productive while not sleeping then I would say it’s a win… however that is not the case. There was a day or two that felt good emotionally and physically and now I am back to pain and tiredness. Started a nerve med supposed to make me sleepy… not much luck tonight.
I have found a new love……
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