What I Learned From Nicktoons...
Doug: Don’t freak out over trivial things. People don’t give as big of a shit as you think they do.
Rugrats: WATCH YOUR FUCKING KIDS, YOU IRRESPONSIBLE MANIACS!!!
The Ren & Stimpy Show: Just because it’s a cartoon, doesn’t mean it belongs on a kids’ network.
Rocko’s Modern Life: Everyone is weird to some degree.
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters: Sometimes your teacher is full of shit, and sometimes they’re completely right. It’s up to you as a student to decide which lessons work best for you.
KaBlam!: Art has many different forms.
Hey Arnold!: It is possible to be mature and immature at the same time.
The Angry Beavers: Sometimes you and your sibling are gonna fight, and sometimes you’re each other’s best friend. It will never be one consistent mood, but that’s not a bad thing.
CatDog: Love yourself; because the world is gonna hate you for being different anyway.
Oh Yeah! Cartoons: It doesn’t matter how good your idea is. It may still be rejected for budget reasons.
The Wild Thornberrys: Being weird might save your ass one day.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Life is a wacky adventure that goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and oh my god why is it still going!? Let me die!! Can’t you see that I crave death!?
Rocket Power: When in doubt, make up your own slang and pretend to be cool.
Pelswick: Some ideas won’t be appreciated when they first come out. At that point, hope and pray for a cult following.
As Told by Ginger: Teenagers are annoying. Especially you.
The Fairly OddParents: Life sucks. But if you make the right kind of friends, it sucks a bit less.
Invader Zim: A hero is only as incompetent as his villain.
ChalkZone: Artist’s block always happens at the worst possible time, but can be overcome with enough thought and patience. If that fails, use the adrenaline of a looming deadline to your advantage.
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius: Smart people can be just as annoying as dumb people.
All Grown Up!: If it looks like a pilot in disguise, it probably is.
My Life as a Teenage Robot: Even if you’re a total badass, some people will still shit on you for stupid reasons. But you’re still a badass, so whatever, right?
Danny Phantom: You’re never too young to discuss the subject of death.
Avatar: The Last Airbender: Kids can follow deep storytelling better than you think.
Catscratch: Most problems are caused by rich idiots with too much free time.
Mr. Meaty: Part of growing up is accepting that the world is gonna give you things you didn’t ask for. (Thankfully, some of these things will go away on their own.)
Rugrats Pre-School Daze: See above.
Fanboy & Chum Chum: A bad show will never be cancelled fast enough.
Planet Sheen: Some characters are only funny based on how other characters react to them, and therefore work better as a side character and should never be given a fucking spin-off.
T.U.F.F. Puppy: Two out of three ain’t bad.
The Legend of Korra: The best way to resolve a love triangle is with a bisexual twist ending.
Breadwinners: Even the worst ideas will be greenlit, because some people think effort is just an option. Keep that in mind and see how well you sleep tonight as you look over all the awesome ideas that never got a chance to shine because of bullshit like this.
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