The Day And Life Of A Young Woman

I’m a 26 year old woman with stories to tell of myself and some knowledge to lend and an ear to listen

[bugsy2164]

When I picture you in my head, I picture the version of you before you hurt me or the version of you that apologizes and we become whole again. I don’t get nervous with my versions of you. The thought of seeing you again makes me nervous but also excited, getting butterflies even with all you put me through. I don’t know how it’s humanly possible for for someone to still be madly in love with someone who shattered their heart and soul.

[bugsy2164]

Today was a hard day, everyday is hard trying to get over you but was especially difficult. Your twin brother proposed to his girlfriend of 1.5 years. While we were together 4 years. It took 2 years to get you to move in together. I’m sorry if I pushed you to do things that you weren’t ready for or comfortable with. I feel looking back that maybe something was wrong because I know that everybody takes their own time to accomplish their goals. Marriage shouldn’t be something you should take lightly if you aren’t ready. I hope you find happiness

[bugsy2164]

out of my comfort zone

I feel like I have been dragged out of my comfort zone into the middle of an anxiety filled ocean and am left with just a life jacket

[bugsy2164]

Death and Memories

The truth is death is not always a cold funeral home with a pale, motionless body laying in a wooden casket. Where there is loved ones crying and mourning the loss. There is also death and memories. This is where the everyday life continues, when we forget they are gone. When we see something they would like or want to tell them something. This one hurts the most because you got comfortable. You let yourself forget the pain, only to be hurt again. You remember the joy of the memories you shared as you feel this pain. Just because they are gone, these emotions are here to tell us they’re not forgotten

[bugsy2164]

I feel like in society woman are pressured to be married and with a family at a certain age. I am 27 and I feel like some days I am never going to get married. We have to focus on our lives not being someone’s wife. At the end of my life I want to show I did something besides get married or have kids.

[bugsy2164]

As a person I hate feeling petty, I hate feeling crazy. I feel like as a person and as a woman I feel pettiness over the dumbest things. I just had a petty feeling because my boyfriends profile picture doesn’t have enough of my face in it so I felt upset. I really need to work on feeling less petty

[bugsy2164]

The problem I always have is I like to compare my life to others. I’m a 27 year old woman and I frequently get anxiety because I’m not married or a mother. Society has a standard for women that we should be married and a parent at a certain age. Why is it that women have a smaller window of opportunity to get married and bare children. While a man can be 60 and get a woman pregnant. Society needs to stop telling women what age is right to get their life in order and us women need to realize that we need to put our happiness first and not everyone else’s

[bugsy2164]

Men are just as petty as women. My man has a group of guy friends. One of them was upset about a topic and the other men didn’t like it so they stopped talking to him. I know as a woman, that my friendship means more to me than an view point. I hope they work it out and become friends again

[bugsy2164]

Has there been a time where you found one of your boyfriend/girlfriends friends attractive or has a good personality/ Ora about them. I don’t find my boyfriends friend attractive but he has a good personality/ Ora about him that is good to be around. I love my boyfriend very much.

[bugsy2164]

How do you actually be happy for someone and not have still some resentment. I see my ex who made our relationship not so fun and when we broke up made my life a living hell is with his new girlfriend. Part of me is happy for him but the other part of me feels like he will never know how bad he hurt me and now he is with this woman and I feel bad for her because I don’t want her to get hurt like I did.

[bugsy2164]

When you see your ex has moved on it’s happy that they found someone but if you are someone who has experienced a unhealthy relationship lime me where I had a ex boyfriend who was not very good when we were dating and a even shittier person when we broke up. That looking at him with another woman doesn’t make me sad or mad it’s just I wanted him to suffer some more realize the pain he put me through. I also feel bad for the woman that see doesn’t know what is in store for her. That she will have to find out the hard way. Why is it that the new girlfriend always hates the ex girlfriend. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be with him.

[bugsy2164]

Do you just get upset when someone you barely talk to decides to not talk to you anymore and block you on Facebook.? I only talked to this person once a year if that and I messaged him twice in a couple days and he must of thought I was being annoying because he blocked me. I am the type of person if you are going to be upset with me and want to block me let me know what I did that was wrong not just up and block me because I am so confused on what I did that was wrong.

[bugsy2164]

Is it just me or does it get aggravating when someone says they will be your friend and when you need someone to talk to they block you on social media. I haven’t talk to this person in a longtime and when I do it’s how they are doing and now they get upset and block you. I don’t know what I did to piss them off.

[bugsy2164]

When your a teen you really don’t think about sex or if you do you don’t think you will be sexual abused, molested, or raped. When I was a kid I lived with my grandparents. My grandmother never really liked me because my dad got with my mom and my grandmother never liked my mom either. Almost something out of Monster in law but I wasn’t fortunate enough to have Jane Fonda as a grandmother. My grandfather as a child was someone I could turn to. He treated me like actually one of his grandchildren. Then when I reached the age of 13 I was in the car with my grandfather he looked at me made a “v” with his fingers and put it over his mouth and made a tongue flickering. It made me a little uncomfortable but I moved on. Then when it was dark and time for bed he would put on porn and make me watch it. That’s when I knew the grandfather I had as a kid was not the same man. When I stayed at my grandparents house I would sleep on the couch in the living room. His room was a branch off of the living room. So one night when I was laying on the couch he came in the living room and put his dick in my face. This was a man I loved and trusted. This man had sex with me and I felt like I couldn’t tell my family because I felt like they would disown me. I kept this secret many years until one night I found out I wasn’t the only one he did this to. I have female cousins he did this too and one of them was brave enough to tell their parents. So their parents called my parents and I told my parents the truth and the love and support I received from them was what I didn’t expect. So if you are someone who is going through something like this or know someone don’t be afraid to tell your story because there is a happy ending for you.

[bugsy2164]

The day and life of a messed up woman

Now my soul purpose is to help out who ever needs it or wants it. Today I want to talk about my backstory. How I became the woman I am today. I was born and raised in a town in West Virginia called Parkersburg. It is big enough that there is things for you to do but not to big. Mostly this town is filled with methheads and other sort of drug addicts. When I say I’m messed up I’m saying that I have been molested, almost raped and have been in a very healthy relationship. I was molested by my grandfather, almost raped by an ex boyfriend and ended an unhealthy relationship and when I left him he treated me more badly. If anyone woman that is reading this lives in my town I would like to prepare you before you get with any of my ex’s. It’s not that I don’t want them to be happy but they need to know how to treat a woman. I am just a woman who is a firm believer that woman to to stick together. For the woman who don’t live in my area that need someone to talk to just message me...