You run to the corner of the cafeteria so that in case you cry, no one would see. "Wh-what?" You ask in a trembling voice.
"I'm saying... We should break up." He rephrases, pausing for a long moment. "I'm sorry." He didn't even bother giving an excuse, nor explaining why he didn't want to be together.
You try to ask him why, but the words don't come to your mouth. You're scared that the moment you speak, the calm composure you are forcing yourself to hold would break. 'No. Ask why. Ask why he wanted to break up. It's just a sentence you have to say.' You tell yourself.
But even one sentence seems too long. The moment you start the first word, you already feel your throat tightening.
"Hello? Are you still there?" Chanyeol's voice comes from the other end.
"Y...ah..." Your voice is now in a quiet whisper.
"I'm sorry." He repeats. There is silence on both ends. You know if there was time to ask him the reason, it has to be now. You take a deep breath.
"Wh—" The other end hangs up. That is it. The line goes dead. It had been cut off so easily, as if you didn't mean anything to him. The tears that were held back for so long come down your face. You just stand there, staring blankly at your phone, as tear drops drips down on the screen as well as the floor.
Your friend sees you standing like that, so she comes over. "________?" You turn around.
She gasps at the sight of your tears. "What happened?" You walk with her back to your table, and cry silently for a few minutes before recollecting yourself and telling her what had happened. She listens intently, waiting until you told her everything.
"I think it's because of the no dating policy or whatever you mentioned that Suho had told you." She says thoughtfully. "I don't see why someone would break up with you like that." You dry your eyes, sniffling.
Of course." She nods with confidence. "That's the only logical explanation. His manager probably found out or something."
Your friend really did have a point there, now that you think about it. Ever since the time the manager saw you, he kept throwing suspicious glances towards you. And Suho did warn you to not cause any trouble.
"So...even if it was because of his manager, what am I supposed to do?" You ask.
"I have an idea." She says.
____________________________
You sit in the lobby of SM, hearing nothing but the rapid beating of your heart. It is so loud, you could almost swear other people around could hear it too. But it is probably just due to the fact that you were nervous to meet with EXO's manager.
It honestly surprised you when he agreed to see you for a few minutes, even if you didn't have an appointment or a valid reason. All you told the secretary was to tell him "It's about Chanyeol."
The elevator doors open with a ding sound, and out steps a man in a sophisticated looking suit. You've seen him at the party before, but didn't remember him to be so... Intimidating.
He sees you, and walks over. You quickly stand up and bow out of respect. He smiles, motioning for you to sit down.
"So you are the one Chanyeol likes..." You nod awkwardly. "And I'm guessing he broke up with you?" The manager guesses. You nod again, not saying anything.
"He's a wise kid, honestly." He says. "By dating you, he broke the no dating policy that has not expired yet, and went against many conditions in the contract with SM."
So it was true. Chanyeol broke up with you because of this man and the contract. A part of you was relieved that it wasn't because he got sick of you or anything.
"That's what I came here to talk to you about. The contract." You say. "Chanyeol had told me about violating some kind of agreement with SM before. But everything was fine up until the 'accidental' kiss..." You pause, looking up at the manager.
He is sitting there, expressionless, waiting for you to continue your thought. You take a deep breath before talking. "So I was thinking we could date in secret?"
Upon hearing this, the manager laughs. "You are naïve, my dear." He tells you. "Do you think the paparazzi and fans won't catch on? News travels around faster than lightening. If you guys make a mistake, that's it. Your relationship will be exposed to public."
"But we'll be careful!" You insist. "We won't make any mistakes, I swear."
He sighs, shaking his head. "Even if you really are that careful, that still goes against the no dating policy. He signed a contract. A contract is a very serious mutual agreement, that has severe consequences if broken!"
Wow. Never in your life have you ever given a thought to how serious contracts were taken. Now that the manager has told you, you felt hopeless. There was no way to work around it...
Uh oh. The tears were coming again. You could feel them. This is not good. You had to end this meeting quickly.
"Can I... At least see Chanyeol one more time?" You ask. It's the only thing you can think of. You need a proper goodbye from him.
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you can't." The manager says. "Seeing him would just make both of you sad, and that would disturb Chanyeol from focusing on his task."
You look at him in disbelief. This manager was cold hearted. He puts work way before love...
"Now, If you'll excuse me..." He says, looking at his watch and getting up. "I must get going. It was nice meeting you."
___________________________
Everything is now in the box. There was quite a lot of stuff, too. If you couldn't be with him anymore, you'd rather not keep the memories that you two made together. Keeping them would prevent you from moving on, and would only cause pain whenever you remembered him.
The last thing left in your drawer is a photograph of you and Chanyeol. You glance at it quickly, noticing the happy smiles you both had. 'Are you still smiling right now?' You wonder, and then throw it in the box as well. You grab your phone, dialing Chanyeol's number.
"_________?" He asks with surprise.
"I just need to tell you something." You say. "Can we meet at the park?"
____________________________
The box sits on the bench.
"What's this?" Chanyeol asks. He lifts the lid, to see familiar things inside. You absent-mindedly play with a bracelet on your wrist.
"It's all the stuff we've done together." He picks up an ornament. That was from the time he promised to decorate the Christmas tree with you. But instead of bringing ornaments, he accidentally brought a box full of ping pong balls. Since you didn't buy any ornaments, your tree stood in your living room, bare and green. The only thing you managed to find was a small blue ornament with the weirdest Santa Claus ever on it, and of course Chanyeol found that funny. He laughed at it for a while, before deciding to add a black beard to it.
Even now, the black beard still remained. He laughs a bit, as if remembering that moment the same time you did. He puts it back into the box, and looks through all the other stuff.
"Why did you put everything inside here?"
"Because... If we are breaking up, I don't want to cry about it. The best thing to do is for me to let go. Completely." You reply. "So, I'm returning the memories I shared with you back."
Chanyeol frowns. "Listen, ________. I want to apologize for what I said earlier. Things got a bit complicated..."
"It was the manager that made you say that, wasn't it?" You wonder.
He nods. "How did you know? Whatever. It doesn't matter. What I really want to tell you is that I didn't mean it when I said I wanted us to break up. I still like you a lot, _________. I really do. And I want us to be together." He holds out his hand. "What do you say?"
"I..." You say, still fiddling with the bracelet on your wrist. And then you remember the words his manager has said. Chanyeol was a celebrity. He had to focus on what his career demanded him to do. Things like dating would only get in the way of his dreams and hard work. And if he really did want you back, there was the contract that couldn't be broken. And the paparazzi are always on the look out, so you two couldn't date in secret either.
There was no way none of this could work. Everything would get hectic, and it would ruin both of your lives. "...I don't think so..." You finally finish. Chanyeol stares at you, surprise written all over his face.
"You don't like me anymore?" He wonders. You turn around, trying to avoid the question. The real answer is on the tip of your tongue, but you know you can't say it. Chanyeol grabs ahold of your hand, making you stop walking. He pulls you closer. "You don't like me anymore?" He asks again, looking right into your eyes.
You quickly glance down. That's when you notice the bracelet you've been playing with. It was something Chanyeol had gotten you for your one month anniversary with him. It wasn't anything too fancy or expensive, but it was special in its own way.
Every time you look at that bracelet, the goofy smile on Chanyeol's face as he gave you the present would come into mind. But now it was time to let it all go.
"Things won't work out, Chanyeol." You say slowly. "I'm just a girl, and you're a famous guy in a famous group. Our lives are too different."
By now, your voice is trembling. It cracks every time you speak, because you're trying so desperately to hold back your tears.
"I...don't want to get in your way..." You continue. "I should've never went downtown on that snowy day. Then I wouldn't have met you, and none of this mess would've happened!"
Chanyeol's eyes are red now, as if he's about to cry too. You try to pull your hand free from his, but his grip gets tighter, as if he's begging for you to stay. You shake it free, accidentally pulling the bracelet off too. It falls to the ground, and you bend to pick it up.
"Good bye..." You whisper, placing it in the palm of his hand, and then running the opposite way.
Your relationship ended like that. There was no hugging or apologies. Just a goodbye that was barely audible.
Chanyeol crashes down on the bench. Never in his life has he experienced such pain from losing someone.
"_______..." He says, covering his face in his hands. It's been so long since he's cried. "Don't leave..."
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